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Sounds of a beach, a rolling ocean, cawing seagulls and distant laughter echoes in his head. The image is unclear but he remember a smiling face, beaming down on him, his own cheeks wet and sore from his own happiness. He looks down and his hands are engulfed in another’s, shiny ring new on his finger. He thinks he hears people cheering when suddenly the sea turns into rain.
A beeping alarm jerks him from his dream, he curls his knees to his chest and only lets out a soft whine. The alarm is turned off far away... but the sound of rain pattering the glass window is loud in the bedroom. It lulls him into a soft in-between sleepy daze, warm in his pile of blankets. He burrows more into them, making sure half his face is underneath. Jimin takes a deep breath in, and smells the lingering scent of a fresh sea and a salty breeze, at this same moment, he realizes the warmth at his back is missing.
He’s slow to open his eyes, because of the brightness, and sits up even slower. Their giant heap of blankets pools at his waist, and he gasps at the sudden cold air on his chest. He glances to the space next to him and sees nothing. Jimin hums and contemplates getting out of his little nest.
It’s when he’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes that he hears footsteps nearing the door. Jimin reaches for his glasses on his bedside table and puts them on. The door opens with a creak.
“Damn door…,” Is mumbled behind it. And there he is.
Namjoon is carefully holding a tray, piled high with food, still in his pajamas. He’s walking backwards, elbowing the door open, and when he turns he sees Jimin sitting up.
“Oh! Baby, you’re awake.” A blush blooms on his cheeks, seeming flustered at being caught.“I wanted to make something for you...but I- here!” The tray is extended for him to take before Namjoon realizes Jimin is still halfway under the cover.
“Ah! M’sorry here I’ll do it.” Jimin watches with a smile as Namjoon’s ears turn red, and feels the familiar ache in his cheeks whenever his watches his husband do,well, do anything really.
Joon places the tray on his lap cautiously, and when Jimin looks closely he can see why.
On the tray is a bowl of messily chopped fruit topped with whipped cream, next to a plate stacked with strawberry pancakes. There’s also a mug filled with hot chocolate and a glass of orange juice.
He gapes at the amount of food. Namjoon had never been a terrible cook, but he wasn’t great either. He was the type to think cooking meant taking something out of a box or can and heating it up, but this looked homemade. Jimin is tearing up when a throat is cleared.
“I know it doesn’t look...the best, but I promise it tastes great!” Namjoon looks a little embarrassed now, and Jimin can’t have that. He quickly cuts into the nearest thing, the pancakes and stuffs his face full. Immediately, he’s hit with the taste of the salty butter and sweetness of the strawberries and he moans.
He’s only slightly horrified at the sound, his face flushing, but Namjoon only looks on fondly, laughing at his shocked face,then pinches one of his cheeks.
“I’m glad you like them baby,”a shy look comes onto his face, “Happy anniversary.”
Jimin can’t hold the tears back this time, he makes a move to jump into his husband’s arms but he remembers the tray and chooses to cover his face instead. He manages to get out a “happy anniversary” “joonie”, and an “I love you” between sniffles then suddenly he’s being bombarded with soft kisses on his hair, his forehead and cheeks, and eventually his lips.
He’s giggling by the end of the attack and he reluctantly whines that he should stop lest they drop all the food. Namjoon agrees and sits cross legged on the bed, facing him.
“I love you y’know.” Jimin chokes on his bite of pancake, and whines. “JOoN!” His face feels hot, and he doesn’t look up to see Namjoon’s smug face.
“Ahh, it’s been 5 years and I still don’t get tired of seeing you blush because of me.”
“You’re the worst, I swear…” He pouts. Namjoon shifts in the corner of his eye, leaning to get something from under the bed.
“I thank the universe, God, fate- whatever it was that led me to you. Before we knew each other, I thought life was going to be an endless sea, never seeing the horizon of my happy ending, doomed to drown, but now I know that that whole time, I was being tested to see if I deserved to reach that horizon and meet the Sun...to meet you. I know we’ve only been married for two years but I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You make me so happy, and bring so much light to my everyday, I only hope I do the same for you-”
“You do!”
“-because it’s what you deserve. Ahh noo bub, don’t cry.” A flat beige box with a large bow is placed next to him, as Namjoon rushes to wipe his face, carefully removing his glasses.
“Shut up, you made me cry with your beautiful words now you have to deal with me.”
Namjoon coos then laughs as his words catch up to him. “I will gladly deal with you for eternity.”
They hold hands while he finishes his breakfast, and after whining that Namjoon had claimed his dominant hand, Jimin was spoon fed by his husband.
“Say ‘ah~’” Jimin pouts but does so anyway, chews while humming before opening his mouth to request more food.
Outside, the rain hadn’t let up, instead worsened, creating a warm, intimate atmosphere inside the bedroom. Namjoon thinks about his life before Jimin, and how bland everything seemed, drained of color, repeating his everyday.
He glances around the bedroom and sees their life. The old vanity dresser by the window, covered with Jimin’s makeup, the dent in the wall made after a rough wrestling match with Jungkook, the stain on their rug where Namjoon had unknowingly dropped then stepped on a lipstick. His eyes focus on his small corner, where a desk and chair sit, where HE often sits, to write his next essay or his next song. Its their home.
Looking at Jimin, he sees his life entirely before him, what is was before, what it is and what its going to be. Namjoon feels his cheeks ache from how wide his smile is. He huffs out a laugh when Jimin drinks from the mug, and pulls it away with a mustache of hot chocolate and fogged glasses.
“Namjoonie-hyung ?” He didn’t notice when his cheeks had become wet, and he doesn’t wipe them away, only keeps looking at Jimin’s worried face.
“I’m okay baby, just. Overcome with how much I love you.”
~~~~~
When he met Jimin in his last year of university, he had been doubting his path. Started to question whether what he was doing was something he really wanted to do, or was something he had instead settled with. His swirling thoughts had consumed him so much he had decided to walk down to the nearest beach. Strolling down the pier, he let the salty breeze ruffle his hair, resolved to a life of bitterness and what-ifs.
It was a stranger, worried at the tears streaking down his face that had finally put his mind at ease. Someone he didn’t know but felt he could trust. A stranger with kind eyes, and a soft smile. A stranger named Jimin, who wiped his own eyes while he told him his concerns, who tugged his hand and brought him over to a tide pool, and told him to look for crabs.
“Crabs? Why?” A giggle.
“ Because solutions to problems usually come to you when you’re not really looking for them.”
And so they looked for crabs. And they laughed, and they talked. About Jimin’s best friend who was having some kind of sexuality crisis because of his English tutor, and Namjoon’s secret love for writing. They talked about the music they liked, and their desire to make some of their own. They talked about Namjoon’s father and his looming presence in his plagued mind.
“I mean, he’s never said he’s had any kind of expectation from me but when I think about how he feels about me as his son...I don’t think anything I want to do will make him proud to be my father.” Jimin didn’t say much, and he didn’t need to. The words that came out of Namjoon’s mouth were more like unfiltered thoughts than an attempt at seeking advice. But having him listen helped, so Jimin listened.
Then Namjoon listened, about Jimin's passion for dancing and his interest in law.
“Dancing is something I’ve always done, and something I never want to stop doing. But I have moments where I feel nostalgic already...as if deep in my mind, I already know I’ve let it go. Does that sound stupid?”
Their conversation went on until the sun began to dip into the ocean, and Jimin’s phone rang.
“Uh huh, no I’m not lost. I’m at the beach. Well you didn’t wanna come! Okay I’ll be there in a bit...bye Taehyungie~”
Namjoon had been so comfortable around Jimin that he’d forgotten they hadn’t known each other for more than a few hours. Now, he felt a flash of panic at leaving this beach without a way to contact him. Of never seeing him again.
They stared at each other a bit after that phone call. Jimin bit his lip and glanced down. Their hands had pruned, and seeing Jimin’s small hands, even in that state made him long to hold them.
“We can look for five more minutes..? If your friend doesn’t mind waiting that is.” Namjoon sputters out.
When Jimin looked up and smiled, he seems relieved. The time runs out quickly. Their hands had been lingering near each other, sometimes grazing past each other, pretending to spot movement in the still water.
Namjoon was trying to build up the courage to make the first move when a yelp startles him. He worriedly looks up and sees Jimin grinning.
“Wha..?”
One of the tiny, chubby hands he was admiring is shoved into his face.
“I caught one!”
There were no rings on his hands that day but he would change that. And soon enough, after 2 years of dating, Namjoon would place the most important ring on his left hand on that same beach.
Jimin had let Namjoon hold the small crab when he had seen the curious look in his eyes. He didn’t know back then, but Jimin said he had known he would fall in love with him that day.
A suddenn shy peck on his cheek made him lower his cupped hands into the tide pool. He didn’t retract them even as he felt the crab walk away.
Jimin’s face was flushed pink, and he began to pout when Namjoon just stared at him, too shocked.
“I- Well, um,” his lips were pursued and gave him a cute lisp, “it was to make you feel better, since y’know we only found one...crab.” The excuse had sounded a little weak, but Namjoon didn’t mention it. Instead they linked pinkies as they stood up and stretched.
They hugged and Jimin lingered, head resting on his shoulder.
They shared shy smiles when they exchanged phone numbers.
He still remembers how soft Jimin had looked silhouetted against the setting sun, and the pink skies.
Namjoon walked back home with a smile.
~~~~~
He watches on as Jimin runs his hands across the soft material of the sweater he’d bought him.
It was one that he had caught him looking at one day when they were strolling through the city with longing and a little shame. Namjoon wasn’t going to lie, it had been a little out of their price range, but he had been taking extra hours to buy it for him.
Now, seeing the gentle smile, the crinkles by his eyes and the awe when he opened the box was all worth it. He’d do it again.
Namjoon doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to thank Jimin enough for that day. He had given him a new vision, something he hadn’t been able to see before. Now, he’s on his way to earning his masters degree in something he’s wildly passionate about,is married to the love of his life with a family in his future to look forward to.
His kind husband pulls him forward and kisses his tears away, until he puffs out a laugh.
When they kiss, he feels the ocean breeze on his skin again, and feels a floating feeling in his stomach. They pause and rest their foreheads together. Rushed breaths, and small smiles makes it all feel so secretive...so private.
“Hyung~”
“Wha-”
A finger suddenly smears whipped cream on his nose and he blinks, startled. He knows his eyes portray his feeling of betrayal when Jimin laughs, and tips his head back. His hands come into his chest, little squeaks leave him, but most importantly, his eyes are closed giving Namjoon the perfect opportunity to reach across and-
“Ah! Hyung, no!”
“HA!”
“EEEH”
His hands squirm into Jimin’s armpits and his sides, making him flinch and giggle. Plates clatter as the tray jostles on the bed, but they dont pay it any attention. Legs get tangled up. Moving his hands too quickly, Jimin can’t stop him and has them both exhausted in a few minutes. They collapse into each other, heavy panting and dying laughter.
Jimin winds up curled over his chest, his rustled hair splayed on his sweater.
“Yoongi called. Wished us a happy anniversary.”
Jimin hums.
“Strange for him to be up so early.”
“He hadn’t gone to bed yet, said it was one of those days.”
“Ah...that hyung is getting too old to be staying up so late so often.”
“Hmm.”
“What is it?”
Namjoon laughs, and Jimin looks up at him.
“What?”
“He said Taehyungie also wished us a happy day.” Jimin gapes at him.
“Wait...really?”
“Yeah…”
“No…”
“Mhm”
“Finally! They’ve been tiptoeing around each other for years! I was starting to get tired of Tae’s rants about cute Yoongi-hyung’s ‘bubble butt’.”
Namjoon begins running his hand through Jimin’s hair, eliciting a hum and a squeeze around his middle. This position had been perfect over the years for this exact reason. Jimin liked his hair being played with, hugging and spooning, and Namjoon liked Jimin. So he lied on his back, Jimin curled around his midsection, for easy access.
“I don’t think anything will stop Taehyung from talking about Yoongi-hyung’s butt, sorry baby.”
“Ugh”
The silence blankets them, makes their eyes heavy and hearts light.
Eventually, Namjoon feels his blinking getting slower. The feeling of Jimin stroking his side lulling him to sleep. School and work had been relentless, plus he’d woken up early for his surprise.
There's a moment when he begins to wake up again. Jimin is singing quietly, his arm still around his middle and head on his chest. His voice is beautiful. It was delicate, breathy and emotive.
“Our happiness was meant to be...cuz you love me,” He feels the darkness slowly curling around him again, as Jimin plants a kiss to his hand. The singing continues.
“And I love you…”
Yeah, he wouldn’t change a thing.