Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Izzy ran to Simon’s side when he dropped to the ground.

Despite being a vampire, he had never looked quite so lifeless. All of the color was drained from him, making his skin appear almost grey. She lifted his head in her lap, lightly hitting at his face to try to get him to wake up.

When the Seelie Queen informed her that Simon would need blood to survive, she immediately searched for something sharp. She took a blade from Meliorn, not even bothering to ask for permission. She didn’t have a moment to spare; her friend was dying. With the blade, she drew blood from her own palm and then clasped her fingers around her hand and allowed the blood to drip into Simon’s mouth. Nothing. No response.

“Simon, you have to come back to me. You have so much to live for,” she said, as if talking to him in his state of unconsciousness would somehow coax him back to her.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she first saw Simon move, coughing slightly and attempting to turn his head away as to stop drinking her blood. Guilt.

“Keep drinking. You need your strength,” Izzy said.

“He’s going to need a lot more blood than that to survive,” the Seelie Queen informed.

That was when the Shadowhunter was faced with a unique crisis. The only way to save Simon would be to relapse. She looked at Simon who was on the verge of death simply because he was willing to risk his own life to protect the people that he loved. He was selfless, so she had to be selfless too.

She rolled up her sleeve, exposing her bare wrist and moving it toward Simon’s mouth.

“Simon, you have to bite me,” she said, trying to mask the panic in her voice.

Simon shook his head in protest.

“No, the venom. I️ can’t,” he breathed through fangs.

Despite her own uncertainty, Isabelle assured the vampire that it was okay, urging him to drink. He still refused.

She moved her wrist closer, hoping that he would budge, but he inside turned his head away in resistance.

Desperate, she took Meliorn’s blade and made a tiny cut in her wrist, just enough to draw blood in hopes of tempting Simon enough to give in. Simon clenched his jaw, closing his mouth. He was determined. Even when the nephilim blood was right against his lips he didn’t drink. After seeing all that his mother had gone through with addiction, he couldn’t do that Izzy. No one deserved that.

Instead, he allowed his eyes to shut, no longer resistant to the looming possibility of death. Before, his body had ached, but eventually he began to feel numb before peacefully drifting out of consciousness.

Izzy attempt to wake him up again, escalating from gentle words of encouragement to borderline screaming. She wasn’t planning on giving up on him, which made it even more heartbreaking when he turned to dust in her arms.

Chapter Text

Luke jumped when he received a knock on the door of his motel room. He hadn’t been expecting any visitors, so he was unsure of who it could it be.

Slowly, he opened the door, alarmed to see Maryse Lightwood’s daughter, Isabelle, standing at the door in tears.

The werewolf stepped aside, allowing her to enter and she sat down at the edge of the bed. Luke crouched down in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Isabelle choked, wiping tears from under her mascara smeared eyes.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Just tell me what’s going on,” Luke said, attempting to calm her down.

Izzy exhaled, taking a moment to collect herself. She then shook her head in disbelief.

“It’s Simon. I️ went with him to the Seelie Court, because he wanted to remove the Mark of Cain and…”

Luke raised his eyebrows in alarm, before standing.

“Is Simon okay?” Luke asked.

Izzy looked up at him, making eye contact before shaking her head and turning her gaze down to her lap.

Luke turned around, facing the opposite wall, shaking his head in disbelief. Simon didn’t deserve it. He was never supposed to have any part of the whole Shadow World. He was supposed to live and die a mundane. None of this was ever supposed to happen. There was absolutely no way that this dorky kid who had been so bright and full of life was really...

“I️ told him that it wasn’t worth the risk, but he was selfless and he chose death over the chance of hurting someone he loves,” she explained. At that point she didn’t know if she was making things better or worse. If anything, she was simply trying to process her own feelings about the whole thing. Perhaps she was trying to convince herself that Simon’s death was heroic rather than unnecessary, but she would always have the ache of feeling like he didn’t need to die.

Luke hung his head in shame, looking down at his feet.

“Mundanes and the Shadow World don’t mix. I️ should’ve protected him from all of this. I️ should’ve…”

“Hey,” Izzy interrupted, rising to her feet. “None of this is your fault and you know that.”

When Luke turned around to face the Shadowhunter, he was misty eyed and tense.

“Besides,” she continued, her bottom lip quivering. “It’s not like you’re the one who went with him on a suicide mission.”

At that point, she broke. Shadowhunters were supposed to be strong. They were supposed to be able to handle death, and yet she couldn’t help more tears from forming. Shadowhunters had to be tough so people like Simon could live full lives, and yet she was still alive while he had to go through dying twice.

Luke rushed to her, taking her in his arms to keep her from collapsing.

“Listen, I’ve known Simon for a long time. That boy would’ve done what he did with or without you. You couldn’t’ve stopped him. It’s not your fault, okay? There’s nothing you could’ve done,” he assured.

There was nothing she could have done, and now there was nothing that either of them could do. No matter what they did, no matter how much guilt they felt or how badly they wanted him back, Simon was dead for real this time.

With this, Izzy stepped back, now able to stand on her own and begin to collect herself. She nodded, though she didn’t entirely believe him, she certainly would try. She then shook her head.

“I️ am so sorry. I️ know this can’t be easy for you, losing Jocelyn and then Clary and now Simon,” she said solemnly.

With this, Luke stepped back, raising his eyebrows.

“Isabelle, there’s something that you should know about Clary,” Luke said.

Chapter Text

“One second!” Clary replied to the unaccepted knock on the door of her room at the Institute.

She quickly made her way across the room to the door, opening it just a crack. When she saw who it was standing there, she swung the door all the way open, opening her arms and embracing Isabelle.

“Oh, Izzy, it’s so good to see you,” Clary said.

Isabelle wrapped her arms around Clary, squeezing her as if she could slip away if she didn’t.

“I️ can’t believe you’re really here. Thank the angel you’re alive,” Isabelle said, a tear running down her cheek.

When the two finally let go of each other, they took a moment to just look at each other. Izzy tried to offer a half hearted smile, allowing Clary to immediately detect that something was off. Clary raised an eyebrow, wondering exactly what was wrong.

“What is it?” Clary asked reluctantly, not sure if she was prepared to hear whatever the bad news was. She was sure that Jace had told her that she was no longer in trouble with the Clave, but perhaps Isabelle knew something that he didn’t.

The dark haired Shadowhunter looked down at the floor before looking back up and gesturing toward the interior of the room.

“Can I️ come in?” She asked.

Clary nodded, stepping to the side to grant the other entry. She closed the door behind her and gave Isabelle a worried look.

“You…you should have a seat,” Isabelle said solemnly.

Slowly, Clary sat on the edge of the bed, her figure leaning forward with tense anticipation.

Isabelle opened her mouth to speak before simply taking a deep breath and deciding that she herself needed to take a seat as well. She sat down next to Clary and tenderly placed a hand on her knee, causing Clary to make direct eye contact with her.

“Izzy, what’s going on? You’re really starting to scare me,” she admitted.

Izzy pressed her lips together tightly, exhaling through her nose. No more tears, she told herself, feeling the mist in her own eyes.

“Simon was convinced that he was dangerous because of his Mark of Cain, so I️ went with him to the Seelie Court to get it removed. The ritual was really hard on him, and he needed blood to survive, so I️ offered to let him drink from me and…” she trailed off, the image back in her head. She was back there, trying to convince Simon that it was okay, that she would recover from this and him refusing. He’d rather die than hurt someone. He’d rather die than hurt her.

Clary shook her head.

“Oh my god, Izzy, I’m so sorry. Are you gonna be okay?” She asked.

Izzy shook her head and wiped a tear away, collecting herself.

“No, no, it’s not that. He knew what I’d been through and he was so happy for me when he got clean. He was so supportive of me…and he just couldn’t do it,” she said.

Clary could feel her own heart rate increase as she shook her head in utter disbelief. Her jaw dropped open slightly.

“Where is he? Where’s Simon?” Clary asked in alarm.

“Clary, I️ am so so sorry,” Izzy said.

Clary gasped.

“No. No. Don’t say it. Whatever you do, please don’t say it,” she begged, tears forming in her eyes.

Simon was her oldest friend. Even when her entire world turned upside down and she went from being a regular girl to a Shadowhunter, Simon never once left her side. Even after she forced him to live as a vampire and he viewed himself as monster because of it, he still loved her unconditionally. After all, she did it because she couldn’t imagine a world without him in it. It was as simple as that; she loved him and she could never live without him.

“Simon’s dead,” Izzy whispered, shattering Clary’s heart into countless pieces.

It was the first time that she had actually said it out loud, the first time that she had truly let it be real. Simon was gone.

At that point, Clary’s entire body was trembling, tears beginning their stream down her face. All Izzy could do at that point was take her in her arms and be a literal shoulder to cry on.

In reality, Clary just needed her best friend in that moment.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Izzy said, but the words left a bitter taste in her mouth. She wasn’t certain, but those may have been the last words that she spoke to Simon.

Chapter Text

When Becky opened the door, she was surprised to see her brother’s best friend, Clary.

She squinted, head flinching backward as she blinked.

“Clary? What are you doing here?” she asked.

Clary looked at down at her feet and sighed before meeting Simon’s sister’s gaze.

“Can I️ uh…come in?” she asked abruptly.

Becky shrugged before stepping aside to let the Shadowhunter in.

“Uh yeah, sure, I️ guess,” she said.

Becky gently closed the door behind her, gesturing toward the sofa for Clary to sit down.

When Clary sat down, her body was tense, leaning forward on the edge rather than allowing the furniture to fully support her weight. She nervously tapped her fingers on her knee, creating an extra layer of awkwardness in the atmosphere.

“So, can I️ uh get you anything or…?” Becky asked, indicating toward the kitchenette area.

Clary shook her head, her bright red red curls swaying with her motion.

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” Clary said.

The mundane nodded, clasping her hands in front of her before crossing her right foot in front of her left and making her way to the couch.

She took a seat on the opposite end, positioning herself to face the other. Despite the fact that the two had known each other for so many years, they had never really spent much time one on one and the fact that Clary just showed up to her apartment unannounced was extremely out of character. Not to mention the fact that Simon had recently informed his older sister about Clary being a Shadowhunter, making things even weirder since Becky had only just found out about the Shadow World.

Clary soon broke the tense silence by voicing what the two were both thinking.

“So, I’m sorry for just showing up out of the blue like this. I️ definitely would’ve called first if the situation were…ideal,” she began to explain, brows drawn together in thought as she tried to get the words out.

She balled her right hand into a fist, tapping at her thigh in an attempt to suppress tears.

She then drew in a sharp inhale before sighing out a long exhale.

“I️’m sorry. I️ just needed to talk to you about Simon,” Clary said.

At this, Becky’s eyes widened.

“Have you heard from him? He left me a cryptic text and hasn’t been responding to any of my texts since. I️ mean, he kind of has a tendency to. To go a-wall since he…you know, but I️ still worry about him. He always says that I️ don’t need to, but he’s my little brother, ya know? Well, I️ guess you wouldn’t since you’re an only child but, is he okay?” she said.

Clary took note of the slight rambling, wondering if maybe it was a habit that ran in the family. Maybe Rebecca just didn’t usually exhibit the same nervous tick as she was generally a lot more collected than Simon, who pretty much lived in a perpetual state of anxiety.

Clary cleared her throat.

“That’s actually what I️ came here to talk to you about. Simon wanted you to know that he loves you so much, and always will,” Clary explained.

At that point, fighting away tears was hopeless. Clary sniffed, quickly wiping away tears from under her eyes.

Becky shook her head.

“What are you talking about? He’d said something about needing to protect the people that he loves…where is he?” she asked.

Clary shook her head slowly, indicating that the worst had happened.

“Simon’s gone,” she choked, more tears running down her cheeks.

Becky’s eyes widened. Her lips parted slightly, but no words came out. A tear ran down her cheek before she began to shake her head in disbelief. She was completely stunned.

“You mean he’s…no. No! He can’t be,” she said.

“Did he ever tell you about the Mark of Cain?” Clary asked.

Becky nodded, a confused expression on her face.

“Yeah, it was that freak thing on his forehead that blasted people when they attacked him…what does that have to do with anything?” Becky asked.

Clary exhaled.

“He went to get it removed. He didn’t want to risk hurting anyone. He knew the risks, but he went through with it anyway and it killed him,” she explained.

At that, Becky quickly rose to her feet.

“I️ mean with all of this magic and everything there has to be something you can do, right? Or a warlock or the Seelie queen or a freaking genie I don’t know,” she said.

Becky still knew very little about the Shadow World, but Simon had died and come to life once. What’s a second time around, anyway?

“I’m so so sorry,” was all Clary said. It was all she could say. Simon was dead for real this time.

Becky wiped away tears and breathed sharply before framing her face with her hands.

“Go,” Becky commanded.

Clary shook her head, standing up next to Becky.

“Trust me, I️ would anything to get Simon back but-“ Clary began.

“Look, Clary, I️ know that you mean well and I️ don’t blame you for any of this, but I️ also know that if it weren’t for you Simon never would’ve been involved with any of this so I️ really need you to go right now.”

Clary took a step closer to Becky.

“I️ feel awful about-“

“Don’t. Just leave me alone so I️ can mourn my baby brother’s death,” Becky voiced bitterly, pointing toward the door.

She waited for the fiery haired Shadowhunter to show herself out before collapsing on the couch and balling her eyes out.

Chapter Text

Izzy and Clary both decided that Luke was the best person to break the news to Maia. They thought that hearing it from him might soften the blow, as if it were something that could be softened by anything.

Luke still needed to be away from the pack, maybe even more so now. Besides, he wanted them to be able to have that conversation in private. So, he texted Maia with the address of the motel that he was staying at and had her meet him there.

Maia knocked at the door, both confused and concerned. The former alpha’s texts had been rather vague and cryptic, and even when she had pressed, he insisted that he had to explain everything to her in person. So, she found herself at a dingy motel.

She grew even more alarmed by Luke’s solemn expression when he answered the door.

“Luke, what’s going on?” she asked.

Luke shook his head, gesturing for her to enter. With some hesitation, she did.

“What is it? Why did you need me to meet you here?” she said as closed the door behind her.

Luke sighed.

“You might want to have a seat,” he said.

She shook her head.

“Just tell me,” she commanded sternly.

Luke looked away, unable to face the other. He knew how stubborn she could be, so he supposed that there was no use arguing with her. Besides, stalling wouldn’t change the reality. Maia may not have been aware of the situation yet, but still, Simon was already dead.

That didn’t entirely keep Luke from wanting to protect the younger one, though. Maybe he wanted to keep her Simon alive for just a little bit longer if he could, but it was no use anyway.

“Simon found the vampire he was looking for. He told him to go to the Seelie Court but…Simon didn’t make it back,” Luke said, his voice almost expressionless. There was a certain coldness to his tone. He didn’t intend to be that way, he just knew that anything else at all would cause him to break down and he couldn’t have that, especially if he had to be strong for Maia.

He then looked her in the eyes, seeing the glimmer of tears welling up as she shook her head.

“You mean he’s…” she started, her voice wavering.

The beads of water in her eyes then began to run down her cheeks.

“You mean Simon’s dead,” she choked, her voice dropping in pitch.

Luke pressed his lips together, his body tensing. He nodded.

Maia shook her head.

“I️ should’ve gone with him. I️ could’ve stopped him from doing something stupid. I️ should’ve…” Maia began.

“Hey,” Luke interrupted sternly, looking the other dead in the eye. “You know can’t blame yourself for this.”

Maia shrugged, lip quivering as tears began to fall from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away.

“He wanted me to go with him. I️ just didn’t think it was a good idea because you know old school vamp…werewolf…but it doesn’t matter. I️ should’ve gone,” she pondered.

Luke came in closer, putting a hand on the younger werewolf’s shoulder, hoping to ground her to the present.

Maia looked at him with tear filled eyes.

“Simon never wanted to hurt anyone. He would’ve gone through with it one way or another. Listen to me. There is nothing you could have done,” he uttered softly.

He knew that he most likely wouldn’t succeed in convincing her in that very moment, but at least it was a start.

Maia shook her head, chuckling a bit sarcastically.

“You what’s really messed up about this? I’m mad. I’m actually pissed at him for dying,” she confessed.

“Maia…” Luke exhaled.

“I️ mean he just had to put himself in danger. And for what? A stupid mark on his forehead? And…” she ranted before trailing off. She clicked her tongue, eyes beginning to turn green, revealing a part of her wolf form.

“That Seelie Queen bitch is gonna pay,” she said before heading toward the door.

Luke whirled around, coming in between her and the door. He placed a hand out in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.

“We both know it won’t bring Simon back,” Luke whispered.

Maia shrugged, biting her lip as more tears formed.

“I️ just don’t know what to do. He’s dead. Simon’s dead,” she admitted, before completely breaking down crying.

Luke embraced her in his arms, holding her steady.

“I️ know, I️ know. But I️ promise it’s gonna be okay,” he reassured.

“How?” Maia asked.

Luke shook his head.

“I don’t know."