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Chapter Text

It was a dark and stormy night when Kars saw a large, short-haired brown cat that had half a missing left forearm and a sandwich in its mouth gallop away from an angry man who was screaming about how he'd skin the poor thing alive. Under normal circumstances he would've just left the situation alone, after all, the animal was only doing what it had to do to survive. Why should he interfere?

And then he saw it, the cat used Hamon to cross a small body of water.

He had never seen an animal use Hamon before, He's seen his roommate's pets use Stands, sure but he couldn't see those and couldn't properly study them as a result. While he didn't feel threatened by the animal, (it was just a cat, he was the Ultimate Life Form) he did want to study it and how it had learned how to use Hamon.

He followed after the cat, taking careful note of how the animal seemed to use every trick it could to evade him. Obviously, the animal was smarter than the average cat, much like how animal stand users seemed more intelligent than their non-stand user counterparts.

The cat zipped up and down alleyways, zig-zagged through every crossroad it saw and went in and out of anything that it could fit through in an ultimately useless last-ditch effort to escape the ultimate life form.

The Cat was smart and tricky, but Kars had the instincts and abilities of every animal on earth at his disposal.

Eventually, after Kars used his abilities to hide his smell and lured the cat into a false sense of security, he followed it to a rooftop that had a pile of garbage on top of it. The cat ducked into a large cardboard box, it was a broken thing that was completely soaked through from the storm.

He looked inside to see three adult cats and three kittens. Two of the adult cats had thick coats of dark fur, the one that was clearly the biggest had Navy fur while the slightly smaller one had black fur. The third adult was the brown cat. One kitten was pitch-black, another was mostly white with patches of black and brown scattered throughout, and the third was bright yellow.

Goddamned fuck all the cats that were in that box were cold, wet, and probably starving. The adults also looked like they had recently been in a fight while the kittens were thankfully unscathed.

When the brown cat spotted him he dropped the sandwich as he hissed and arched his back, an obvious sign of aggression. The other two curled protectively around the kittens, The box sparked with Hamon.

Kars carefully reached over and picked up the box, the cats were clearly annoyed to be moved and the Brown one had been swatting at him with his good paw and the black one hissed. While they fought with him now, the cats would soon be grateful to be taken out of their miserable lives as strays and Kars would get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of getting to study animal Hamon Users.

A Win-Win solution indeed. 

Back at the Mansion, Dio had brought back some more 'guests', while the pillar men didn't mind the 'dinner and a show' displays their vampire roommate had routinely performed, leaving the corpses of his leftovers was just plain nasty. It was kinda like having that roommate that always left dirty dishes all over the place, except the asshole roommate would at least have the common courtesy to not fuck their food while eating it and leaving the leftovers smack-dab in the middle of the floor.

While this was gross, the pillar men didn't care enough to force Dio to do something about it. The only people who really complained about it were the humans under Dio's command, and if it bothers them that much they should be the ones to do something about it.

Until Kars realized that he'd have to do something about it later as when he tripped on a dead body on the floor, the already broken cardboard box was completely destroyed on impact and the cats scattered into different directions, each one carrying a kitten.

Mere seconds later all fucking hell broke loose.

The humans Dio kept around had loudly reacted to the presence of the new animals and the sounds of destruction echoed throughout the entire mansion.

CRASH

"WHAT IN TARNATION?"

BANG

"SOMEBODY GET LORD DIO!"

SHRIIP

"WHERE'S LORD KARS WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!"

CRAAACK

"WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THESE CATS!?"

BOOM

"LORD WAMUU! PLEASE STOP ATTACKING THE BLACK CAT IM SURE HE DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT!"

 SHIING

"PUT THAT FUCKING SWORD AWAY! THEY'RE JUST CATS!"

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA"

"THE CAT HAS A STAND! SOMEBODY FIGHT IT!"

WILHELM SCREAM

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

"DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA"

"WHAT?! THAT SHORT-TAIL KITTEN HAS A STAND TOO!" 

Oh, so at least two of those cats were stand-users, just fucking perfect.

"MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDAMUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA"

Check that, three, three of those cats were stand users.

Kars sighed as he picked himself off the floor. It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Text

Maine Coon:

As you can see, a Maine coon is basically the biggest buffest fluffiest domestic cat breed that I know about. Also, I did some research on their personalities and the breed fits Jonathan's personality pretty well: a gentle giant, sweet-tempered, intelligent, and adaptable. Did I just describe that cat or the Jojo? Technically, I did both.

Bengal:

I picked this breed for Joseph because for him, I wasn't focusing on his size but rather his speed. Bengals are very fast cats and I felt like it was important for Mr. Joseph 'the secret family technique is running the fuck away' Joestar to be a speedy kitty. They are also incredibly intelligent, mischievous and demand attention.

Ragdoll Cat:

Like the Maine Coon, a Ragdoll cat is also big buff fluff stuff, but I specifically made Jotaro a Ragdoll cat because they tend to just flop. like 'oh! you're holding me? let me just flop' and I personally thought that fact was funny. Jotaro will undoubtedly be far more aggressive and aloof than the average ragdoll considering his current environment and human personality, but as long as nobody's hurting anybody he cares about, he sleep.

Japanese Bobtail Kitten:

I will be completely honest with you guys, I picked this breed out for Josuke solely because of a handful of tumblr posts made by poorlydrawnjosukeh. There is no other reason. I mean, I read that they're friendly, talkative and like treats, and Josuke is one of the friendlier, more talkative Jojos in spite of his punkish appearance. While Josuke is a kid in this fic, he's the oldest of the three kids and his personality is the most apparent of the kitten Jojos.

Singapura Kitten:

A Singapura is one of the world's smallest cat breeds and the reason why I made Giorno one is because as he's still a little kid that is fresh outta an abusive household and thrown into cat hell. He feels 'small' in both the literal and metaphorical sense and is still warming up to the Joestar bloodline he's found himself a part of as he fears it could either all be a cruel lie or worse, it's real and will only be ripped away from him in favor of something nastier. Also, this is the only cat breed I know about that is naturally yellow.

Mixed breed Black kitten:

Because Jotaro is far more present in Jolyne's life in this fic than in canon, she's a lot more of a 'daddy's girl' so, like her dad, she too is a fluffy, cat-shaped clump of the void but she's a mixed breed as opposed to a purebred Ragdoll because she ain't got time for that 'flopping' shit she's a kid, she's gonna run around the mansion and freak everybody out with her weird spaghetti power. She's gonna try to fight the big scary stand users while her dad tries to pull her away from that bullshit because he just wants to take a goddamned nap without some asshole trying to fight his daughter.

Chapter Text

All the screaming and chaos had disturbed the slutty charismatic vampire lord from some ahem, 'important' business. Dio left his stripper fuck buddy/the world's scariest sub. His loyal companion and had used his Stand to find out what the commotion was.

In his stopped time, he saw a disaster in the making and a bigger disaster right around the corner. Stands out and punching everything in sight, Wamuu's divine windstorm whipping apart furniture and walls, swords, axes, and knives were thrown around like candy at a parade, some of his dumbass henchmen caught each other in the crossfire of their own stands, and there were some new stands that Dio didn't recognize, although some did look familiar.

Obviously, there were new stand users in his own home. They had BETTER be here to worship him or he was going to punch somebody into oblivion.

After moving everybody in his range exactly five inches to the left, he unpaused time and watched everybody stumble and some fall from the sudden but not entirely noticeable change. The Stands were all withdrawn, and the attacks ceased. As soon as the imbeciles knew they were in the presence of their Vampiric overlord they reacted accordingly. The unknown Stand users must've escaped because he didn't see anyone out of the ordinary. (By Dio's standards, not regular human being standards)

"L-Lord Dio!" one of his underlings, Alessi? was that his name? stuttered out as he bowed dramatically, his stupid bell things jingling obnoxiously as he did so.

"My beautiful, merciful, and incredibly forgiving Lord Dio-"

"Cut the shit, what happened here?"

Alessi, Yeah his name was Alessi, gulped and stumbled back. "I- It must've been D'Arby! his cat must've let in those other cats! they had stands!"

Dio raised his eyebrow and was about to speak, then Kars had spoken up.

"Did anybody here see what happened to the cats I just brought? There's six of them, three are full grown, the other three are kittens, four of them have dark fur..."

Everybody in the room froze with fear as the Stand users feared and respected the pillar men, they didn't even use stands to be that strong. This rule excluded Dio who was instead furious instead of afraid.

"You unleashed those animals on the mansion?!"

He jabbed a finger at the Pillar man, who looked annoyed that his roommate was this angry over a few cats, especially because the reason why the cats had attacked was that the animals were already anxious and in pain only to be provoked further by Dio's idiot minions, said minions, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire of another epic vampire vs ultimate lifeform battle silently retreated from the area.

"If you either got someone to clean up your corpses or just cleaned the damned things up yourself, this wouldn't have happened! Anyway, I don't have time for this, Have you seen them or not?"

"So it's my fault that you brought Stand-using cats into-"

"Lord Kars, were two of them completely Black, save a small patch of white fur near their necks?" 

"Yes, Wamuu."

"Hey! don't ignore me!"

"I'm sorry Lord Kars when two of your cats had stepped into my shadow I had attacked them on instinct. But I didn't see the remains of either of them so they could still be alive."

As if on cue, the drapes toppled to the ground. If it wasn't stormy or night then the sunlight that would've poured through the window would've burnt Dio to a crisp, instead, an angry-sounding cat yowel came from the pile of curtains, followed by an equally angry kitten's mew that sounded like the little thing was trying to imitate the larger cat.

"That must be them"

Wamuu plucked a large black cat out of the drapes, the kitten below pawing at the air above and mewing frantically, if she could speak or if Pillar men could understand animals they'd hear her screaming "GIMME BACK MY DAAAAAD!" Said dad made that angry "MMrrrrrehrrrr" noise that cats make before hissing, the one that kinda sound's like a dog's growl, he also had his ears pinned against his skull and looked grumpy to be held in such a cumbersome manner but did not attack.

The vivid outline of a large, colorful ceremoniously-dressed warrior with long black hair which flowed like ink in water could be seen by Stand users in the room, Dio called his own stand, just in case. The cat's stand carefully took its user out of Wamuu's grasp and held him in a way to make sure he was properly supported.

"Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora. Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora, ora ora ora ora." The stand explained in a calm manner, even if Wamuu could see or hear the specter, he still wouldn't be able to understand it. But Wamuu did notice that something appeared to be supporting the floating cat due to the way the stand pressed down the cat's fur while holding it.

Kars looked at Dio with a confused expression on his face, Dio just shrugged, he didn't know what was going on either.

The Stand held its user by the armpit for a bit, the cat unfurling and claws extending. The animal looked annoyed as his stand showed his hind feet to the Pillar man. "Ora ora ora ora ora ora, ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora." The stand shook its head and readjusted the cat so that he was held properly. "Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora! Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora."

It then handed the cat to Wamuu and adjusted his arms to make sure his user wasn't 100% uncomfortable. "Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora. Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora." The Kitten below mewed loudly once more as her Dad's stand hadn't come to his rescue as she expected.

Wamuu looked at the cat, the cat glared at him. He gently handed the cat to Kars using the same manner the ghost taught him.

"I think I made a terrible first impression on your cats' Lord Kars."

Kars looked over the cat, while clearly irritated, the cat didn't seem to get any new injuries.

"Aside from being a bit shaken up, I think he just needs to be cleaned up and get his wounds treat-OW!"

The tiny kitten was scurrying up his leg, the little animal's nails like the smallest razorblades imaginable. If Star Platinum wouldn't save her dad from these guys then she would! He picked the kitten up in his free hand.

"And you need to calm down little lady!"

The tiny kitten mewed angerly in response.

Chapter Text

Hol Horse had lived at the mansion for two years now. He had expected a couple-dozen fearsome jobs considering he was paid to come here by a goddamned vampire of all things but it seemed that in spite of his long history of a mercenary and surprisingly cooperative personality considering his line of work, Dio wasn't particularly interested in him, but rather his stand, the Emperor.

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK

Considering that Dio had nine stand users whos stands were named after Egyptian gods, and how a good number of Stand users also had Stands named after the tarot, it was as if Dio was trying to complete sets of stand users. It was like this was a game to him. But Hol Horse didn't care, he was being paid for this and that was that.

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK

There was a lot of things he wasn't expecting from this new life of his, a bunch of cats scurrying into the mansion leading to a full-blown brawl and him getting attacked by Alessi's shadowy stand in a bout of friendly fire and grabbing for dear life to the fur of the biggest Maine coon he had ever seen while it sped throughout the mansion like the crazed cat just got out of hell with its tail still ablaze was one of those things.

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK

He knew from his too baggy clothes that he was much smaller, therefore lighter, he knew that this cat was big, even for a Maine coon, but how on earth did this animal dash through the mansion like he weighed nothing? Was the cat a stand user? Was this his stand's power? Where was he? This isn't his home. Hol Horse tried to mentally snap out of whatever mind game Alessi's Stand pulled on him. He wasn't that runt of a street rat in a run down home anymore, he was a full grown adult and a downright scary adult at that.

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK

The Mansion that the Pillar men and Dio lived in was huge. It was big enough to make the grand Joestar mansion look like a tiny pathetic shack. (At least in Dio's eyes.) It had to be in order to comfortably room 4 pillar men, 20 vampires, over 30 humans, an unknown number of zombies, a fair amount of undead chimeras, an orangutang, a falcon, and now 7 cats. However, this had the drawback of being very easy to get lost in, especially when one no longer knew the mansion's layout.

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK

Now for our unlucky gunslinger, this also had the drawback of him being easy prey for the zombies, vampires, and chimeras. They like easy prey. Why would his Ma and Pa bring him here? Ma wasn't around no more and Pa hated his bastard child from the word go, of course he'd throw the little brat away in some- whatever this place was supposed to be. Wait, wrong conclusion. What was the right one then? Well, He was hired for his gunmanship by some guy. Sure, he didn't remember the guy's name or face, but that was because he had a lot of clients.

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK

The damned cat ran into the wall and had broken a hole in it that was big enough to crawl through. Hol saw metaphorical stars, and literal butterflies, then his now comedically big cowboy hat fell over his face. His sisters would've laughed at him if he saw him like this, his Brother and Pa would've frowned. Speaking of which, where were they? Even if they wanted to get rid of him then they would've at least be somewhat nearby. No! Bad brain, Bad! He wasn't a child anymore, he was a goddamned mercenary for heaven's sake! Damn Alessi, damn his cowardly Stand ability, damn it's memory-stealing abilities. He. was. an. ADULT!

Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THUNK Ker THU-CRASH!

"Oww" Hol rubbed the spot where flesh and wall had connected on impact, there was a little bit of blood but not enough for him to worry. He would tough it out. Even when he was always in 2nd place he was still pretty tough his older brother said so! "Meerrrow?" He looked down and saw that the big cat looked up at him with big blue eyes that flickered with concern. His eyes seemed fixed on the pint-sized wild Western's injury "This? It ain't too bad, I've had worse."

The now Foal Horse spat out a tooth and smiled sheepishly at the animal to avoid the Coon's further worrying. "This is nothing! one time my Pa punched me so hard, he knocked out three teeth and I had a bloody nose for days!" While the cat didn't look convinced (And actually looked more concerned if that was possible,) he didn't press it further, his ears picked up as he heard something assumably unhearable by humans and he jumped down the hole.

"H-Hey! Where do'ya think yer going?!" Hol followed the cat, that probably wasn't his smartest decision, but his mind told him that that cat was important. Maybe the cat knew why he was grabbing it. The inside of the walls was narrow and hard to navigate with the little amount of light that could filter through the hole. "Come're, cat!" The cat did not come to him but rather continued to meow and listen for a response then meow again, as if he was playing Marco Polo.

This had continued for a few seconds, but with the suffocating darkness and small room to breathe, it felt like hours had passed. Hol would be lying if he told himself that he wasn't scared. Finally, the cat came back, proudly carrying a small ball of golden fluff. A kitten, the little thing had golden fur and was clearly startled but thankfully uninjured. While the Coon was the biggest cat he'd ever seen, this kitten was the smallest. He let out a small chuckle thinking of the massive size difference.

"Did'ya get what yeah came're for?" The Maine coon gave a small polite nod, "GOOD! 'CAUSE WE AIN'T COME'N BACK!" Hol picked up the cat improperly, the animal was too large for the kid to hold as one is supposed to hold a cat, the tiny cowboy struggled to carry that cat in his attempt to bring him out like a big stuffed teddy bear that he won at the local county fair, The cat felt both amused by this interaction, and worried that the kid could hurt himself struggling to support his weight, especially since he couldn't see where he was going.

That was supposed to be the least of their worries, as it seemed a spider-like chimera zombie that masked its scent with mud and coyote piss had caught a small trio of tasty morsels in its territory. And did it sure want a Texas-style rare steak with a side of crunchy cats food.

Chapter Text

Imagine thousands upon thousands of cans of the angriest whipped cream being sprayed. Not all being sprayed at once, oh no. one can of the world's most furious whipped cream, whipped cream that holds the fury of hell itself being sprayed with all the sheer malice of someone who not only wants the world to burn but is torn between letting it burn slowly to have every single person on the planet squirm in terror of the unstoppable hellfire Armageddon and having it burn quickly so that everyone would be dead already. Only for the can to empty and be replaced by an even angrier can of whipped cream, this had been going on for several insanely long hours. Maybe Hazamada was spraying the whipped cream of unrelenting fury, considering the amount of anger being held in that tiny body it wasn't impossible.

But regardless of who this master of furious whipped cream could be, for now, the source of the insanely furious hissing was the brown cat that Santana was holding by the nape of his neck. The angry little creature squirmed and slashed about in defiance, trying desperately to escape the Pillar man's inescapable grip. Judging by the feeling of Hamon crackling down his body, this one must be the Hamon user that Lord Kars was so interested in studying.

The kitten on the other hand (or, in this case, on the other shoulder) was thankfully a lot calmer, his body language reading out to be mostly confusion, curiosity, and some fear. As the tiny animal wasn't intentionally trying to use anyone as a scratching post, he had earned the privilege of not being jostled around like a bag of fruit.

"Why are you so full of rage tiny animal?" Santana asked the cat as he poked his nose with his free hand, earning him a bite. He did not flinch or react negatively in any way, aside from a sneer of disgust.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're even worse than that Hazamada kid who showed up a week ago."

"HEY!" speak of the devil, or in this case the imp. His stand Surface had proven to be undoubtedly the second most annoying opponent he had ever faced, in spite of being one of the only stands that he could see solely because it's user could only manifest it in a puppet. Right now that damned puppet was behind him and he knew it could mimic him in a heartbeat so he couldn't punt the dirty gremlin into the sun today. But there was nothing that Surface could do to him that wouldn't make it worth doing this.

"Catch"

The pillar man tossed the cat to the assumed high-school dropout in a similar fashion to how somebody would throw a garbage bag at a trash can. He screamed at both the action itself and was caught off-guard by the sudden realization that animals can have stands too. Thankfully the cat seemed to hold no ill will towards him, as he had only used his stand to cling on to him for support, imagine sea cucumbers but they're longer, slightly thinner and had bones, that's kinda what the cat's stand felt like.

Hazamada had carefully grabbed the cat so it was properly supported without needing to be held by a stand with was thankfully withdrawn. Hopefully it wasn't poisonous or something like that. 

The kitten jumped off of Santana's shoulder, being caught by a small, humanoid pink and blue stand that looked vaguely like Dio's 'the world' aesthetically. He really hoped it didn't have the same amount of power.

"T-This cat has a stand! The kitten has a stand! Animals can have stands! we need to tell Kars about it!"

"He already knows and is more interested in the cat's ability to use Hamon, a few of Dio's pets have stands themselves. Strangely enough, it seems that whenever an animal has a stand, The animal itself is a lot more intelligent than a normal animal, and their stands are always very destructive ones with a lot of power."

"S-So you knew this animal could kill me and you still threw it?!"

He shrugged "Honestly, I didn't know it had a Stand until you told me."

"WHAT THE FUCK SANTANA?!"

Now a lot more stable, (as well as free from the Pillar man) the cat lowered himself down to the floor, glaring daggers up at his opponent who tried to withheld his son from him. Meowing angerly, but not trying to climb him. The cat learned his lesson from last time.

"Make sure the cats don't leave your sight, I'm going to get Lord Kars."

"And leave me alone with them?!"

"you can see their stands, I can't," the pillar man said flatly as if telling someone about a rule that they already should know. True to his word, he did leave.

"I am so fucked if Stand users are really all fated to meet each other." the hot-topic pint-sized garbage can said under his breath. 

Hazamada was not the kindest person to animals. In fact, there were a few times where he had bullied animals for no other reason than because he could. If animals had stands, and according to Santana they had strong stands what if an animal he had bullied wanted to seek revenge on him? He didn't know if his Surface could mimic an animal or not.

Nothing spurs a desire to change shitty behaviors quite like the desire to stay alive and not in pain, these cats where his best friends now. They will receive the best cat food and the fanciest cat toys he can reasonably get. 

He knelt down to the cats, awkwardly smiling while holding out his hand to let them sniff it. The brown cat gave a quick huff at the outstretched hand.

"Here kitty?"

The cat got a bit closer, while Hazamada could've imagined it, there seemed to be an almost human-like glint of intelligence in those cats' eyes.

The cat sniffed again, cautiously took the kitten back in his mouth, trot-limped at a brisk pace away from him, stopped as soon as he realized he wasn't being followed, turned around, limp-trotted back, put the kitten down, meowed loudly at him, and pointed with his stub leg down the hallway.

"You want me to ...follow you?"

The cat meowed again and gave something that looked like a nod. Hazamada scooped up the kitten which let out a small mew in protest and followed the world's fastest three-legged cat. Technically he wasn't letting them out of his sight.

Chapter Text

Nothing had made Kars lose what little bits of hope he had for humanity quite like the notion that all of the highly-trained assassins which Dio spent so long collecting, the ones who wielded supernatural fighting spirits lost to a bunch of fucking cats. Hope so small he didn't even know he had it until it was gone. Truly, he was doing humanity a favor by converting them into vampires, even with Hamon, a vampire wouldn't lose a fight to a fucking cat.

The tiny kitten squirmed around wildly in his grip mewing with all the fury of thousands upon thousands of angry baby geese. A mere mortal would be cooing over the adorable little ball of untamed tiny fury but Kars was a god, he would not be swayed by the kitten's cuteness. ...okay maybe he was a little bit swayed, but just a little.

He almost smiled when the living dust bunny tried fruitlessly nipping and scratching at his hand in an attempt to escape.

It quickly turned to a moment of sheer horror as the kitten's body started to 'unravel' itself.

A stand, it had to be an enemy stand! but who would be so diabolically evil to attack a helpless kitten? he tried to catch the stringy mass of dissolving kit and he dropped the cat in the process, a normal cat would probably run away but this cat just calmly walked over to the small pile of living fluffy spaghetti and meowed at it.

Kars didn't stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief when the spaghetti mewed back and reassembled herself as if that was nothing.

Now free from the curtains and the pillar man, the little fluff nugget sped out of the room and down the halls as fast as its tiny little nub legs could carry her. While the older cat tried to follow, Dio had yanked him up by his tail. The cat let out a pained yowl while trying to slash at anything the vampire unintensonally put in slashing distance. Unfortunately, Dio saw this and purposefully kept everything out of his claws' reach.

"A Joestar... and the others could be Joestars too..."

"Pardon?"

"YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL KARS!"

Kars blinked at Dio as if he had grown a second head.

"How?"

"The cats belong to the bloodline which I, DIO, am destined to destroy, as otherwise, they would try to stop me. You underestimated them and brought them right to our home!"

"These are cats, while it is fascinating how they show almost human-like intelligence, cats can't be humans."

Dio looked at Kars as if he pissed on his mother's grave. He then unceremoniously flipped the angry cat in such a way to make the white patch of fur more easily seen. The patch was shaped like a star.

"Every single member of that damned bloodline has this mark on the base of their necks. Ergo, this cat is a Joestar and he will kill us as soon as he gets the chance."

"According to your own ramblings of madness, the Joestar bloodline is human, if the cats are Joestars, then why are they cats?"

"It could be the work of a stand."

"So you're trying to tell me that your rivals, your HUMAN rivals, some of which have stands of their own, were turned into cats by the will of another person's fighting spirit?"

"Yes"

Kars looked at Dio as if he was looking into the camera from the office

"Why would a stand turn its opponents into cats? At least Alessi's stand can make sense: he only fights those who are weaker than him, his stand makes other people weak. What is to gain from that?"

"It could be someone trying to use the element of surprise." He turned to the cat itself "I see right through your game you little shit."

The cat meowed in an annoyed tone and Dio made the critical mistake of putting the cat in biting distance, something that the cat eagerly took advantage of.

"WRRRRRY!" Dio threw the cat at the wall, a normal cat would've had its bones broken by the force and hardness of the wall but thankfully, as the cat was a stand user, all that really happened was the Cat's stand catching his user and giving a dirty look to Dio.

"IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE JOESTAR!"

Bold words for somebody in 'ora ora' distance. The Stand gently placed his user on the ground and cracked his knuckles.

"IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING CAT, YOU INSUFFERABLE, OBNOXIOUS, RAGE-INDUCING PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF THE CONCEPT OF SLUTTINESS"

And with that lovely comment, which had distracted Dio enough not to block the onslaught of furious fists. Kars has been deemed an 'acquaintance' and was therefore spared from the 'ora ora'.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA"

Kars could not see stands, but he could see the marks of the furious fists which suddenly adorned Dio's body, the stand must've been fast if his powerful eyes could barely keep up with the beating. After the one-sider boxing match from hell, the cat stared at his stand's handiwork and left without a meow to give. Leaving the bloody pulp of an undead man-whore to think about what he's done.

Well, Dio sure knew how to make Kars eat his words, humanity could not be saved by his gift of vampirism.

Chapter Text

It was easy for a spider to web-up such a small hole in the wall. 

Such a simple action, one that he had already done thousands upon thousands of times over whenever his masters and or their subordinates broke holes in the mansion and needed then covered up to be repaired later. Such a mundane task in his life, done so often that he didn't even need to think once about doing it, the hole would be there for one second and then covered up in fine spidery silk the next.

But it was such an effective way to make sure his prey would never escape his clutches. 

Such an effective way to make sure that if the cowboy screamed, nobody would hear him, if he cried for help, no one would save him, if he had been important, no master of his would destroy him specifically. After he was done with the deed he would leave what remained in another zombie's area. The chimera was no mindless beast that existed to only serve his masters and eat, he knew that the unlucky snacks were important to his creators somehow (if they weren't, they would never come here in the first place) but the fact that this meal was forbidden made it seem all the more tempting. 

The monster skittled away from his work and held back laughter as he watched the kid walk right past the freshly webbed-up hole in the wall. 

 Hol could've sworn that he should've found the hole by now, or at the very least, see the light from it. He had followed the cat without turning once until grabbing it then turn around to walk straight out of there. How on earth did he get so lost that he couldn't even see the light anymore?

Why did the damned cat run into the wall in the first place? How did the kitten go so far into the dark and scary space? How long has he been blindly stumbling through this cramped creepy corridor? It must've been hours but it felt like days. When will he finally see the exit? Where was his family? What did he do to deserve this? Hol knew that he wasn't exactly the best-behaved kid on the streets, sure he'd lie to his folks about various things, sure he'd steal from a store or two whenever he saw the opportunity, and maybe he used his 'neat trick' to do bad things but that didn't mean that he was a bad kid.

He never wanted to be a bad kid.

So why did the world act like he was one and deserved to be treated as such?

It wasn't fair.

Strange noises echoed throughout the small, suffocating area. Noises that sounded like the chilling laughter of something that sounded more like a beast than a person accompanied by a poorly-played bagpipe made entirely out of squirming flesh, and giant spiders wearing flip-flops on four of their feet, and tap shoes on the other four feet. A rather rude group of giant spiders that were tap-dancing on the ceiling and walls. Badly, these spiders did not know how to dance in the slightest.

How the cats weren't flipping the fuck out was beyond him.

A full-grown Stand user who knew exactly who Dio was, knew about the chimeras, was a professional assassin, and wasn't completely scared out of his wits would maybe be a little bit annoyed at the noise itself but could take out the chimera no problem.

In this state, Hol Horse was none of those things.

He was a terrified and overwhelmed-to-the-point-of-tears kid who barely knew how he got into this mess let alone that supernatural entities other than himself existed.

At the absolute least, God had shown him just a smidge of mercy by not making him allergic to cats too. Because if he was then he'd probably end up dead in the wall as he'd refuse to let go of the cat in spite of the health reasons.

There was something comforting about holding the cat, it was big as well as warm and soft in spite of being damp from the rain and dirty from god knows what. The animal didn't squirm around in frustration like other cats he tried to hold in the past (in spite of the obvious discomfort). The cat also smelled a lot better than how most people would expect a dirty rain-washed street cat to smell. Or at least, smelled better by comparison because the surrounding area started to smell like piss. 

How long did it smell like that? 

Zombies are assholes.

Specifically, zombies that work for/were made by Dio are stupid assholes. A proper self-respecting moralless monster would at least have enough common sense (and maybe just a little bit of mercy) to not try to separate the helpless child trapped in its territory from his only source of comfort in this dark situation: the cat.

A smart monster would let the child keep the cat as logically, holding the Maine coon was a bad idea, not because the cat held a genuinely malicious bone in his fluffy body but because of the fact that he was heavy enough to slow the little cowboy down, as well as big enough to further obscure the prey's already obscured line of sight. A very bad combo for anybody trying to navigate the inside of the dark space between the walls.

The mind of a hysterical small child is not the most logical thing the world, nor does it hold common sense and it only holds a small amount of self-preservation. A monster who knew this would take advantage of that fact.

A monster with the gift of foresight would let the kid carry the cat to avoid getting the stuffing beaten out of him by the world's buffest cat. Or hit with Hamon. 

However, this was not a smart monster, this was a monster that wanted to be a huge jerk to the kid that he was going to eat.

The Hyena-like laughter of the chimera echoed throughout the small space as the monster prepared to strike. It could only laugh louder when the child whimpered as he hugged the cat tighter to himself.