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Thomas couldn’t help but smile when he saw Hamilton walk in the next day.
He knew something that literally no one on the face of the earth knew. It felt awesome. So as he watched Alexander Hamilton walk into the White House that morning he let the smile shine through.
Hamilton, however, seemed to have another idea. Thomas’s smile fell as he watched the alien stalk over towards him.
“What did you do? ” he hissed at him, “Who the fuck did you sell me out to?”
“I’m sorry,” Thomas, asked, “What?”
Hamilton rolled his eyes, confusing his further. Hamilton just grabbed Thomas by the sleeve and dragged him towards his office.
“What are you doing Hamilton?” he asked, “What are you talking about? You should know that I would never sell out to anybody. What I know is what I know. Nobody on earth has enough money to make me talk.”
“Well, it doesn’t seem like it.”
As he spoke Hamilton pulled up an article on his monitor.
ALIENS IN OUR GOVERNMENT - A SHOCKING CONFESSION FROM WITHIN THE WHITE HOUSE
“That wasn’t me,” he tells him, “Shit like this goes around all the time, Hamilton. You and I both know that this shit will blow over in a couple of days. It’s just some crazy that nobody will believe, are you serious?”
“Sorry if you think I’m overreacting,” said Hamilton, who Thomas knew was definitely not sorry, “But I just think that it’s a little worrying for me, an alien , the day after someone finds out about my definitely not human status, this fucker shows up.”
“Stop worrying about it,” Thomas, told, “Sure, it’s a little weird, but it’s fine. I’m telling you. Give it a week and everyone will forget about it.”
Nobody forgot about it.
The article was trending and had multiple sites dedicated to proving the truthfulness of it. Needless to say, Alexander was mad at him.
“Are you kidding me?” he hissed at him, “I thought you said that this would blow over in a week. It has only gotten worse Thomas! Do you know what I saw today? A petition for DNA testing at the White House?! This fucking petition has over 2.5 million signatures. If I get fucked over here, I am dragging you down with me . You hear me? Do you hear me?! ”
“I hear you, Hamilton,” Thomas said, “I get it. This one just so happened to have good points and won over some people. Whatever. Everything's still fine. Now let’s go, there’s an emergency Cabinet Meeting. Let’s go.”
“I’ll be there in a second,” Hamilton said, “I have to sort something out and get a couple of papers for the meeting.”
Thomas nodded and made his way out of the office. On the way to the meeting his friend, James waved him down.
“Did you hear?” James whispered to him, “That petition? The one for DNA testing? It got so many signatures that Washington couldn’t ignore it anymore. They’re actually going through with it. That’s what they’re doing in the meeting today.”
Thomas’ heart dropped.
“Really?” Thomas, said, trying to brush off his own feelings, “What are they? Crazy? What do they think they’re going to find?”
“Exactly!” James agreed with him, “The only thing that isn’t human in the Cabinet is Hamilton’s anger issues.”
Yeah.
James had no idea.
Thomas walked into the meeting and took his seat. Not too long later, Hamilton walked into the room and sat down beside Thomas.
“Did you find out what they’re doing today?” Hamilton whispered to him.
Thomas shook his head, despite the truth. Hamilton can’t hear it from him, that will only end in disaster.
“Good morning everyone,” Washington began, starting the meeting off, “Today, due to the petition that received millions of american signatures, we will all be taking a DNA test.”
Thomas flinched as he heard Hamilton curse under his breath.
“ Motherfucker .”
“It shouldn’t take too long they just need a tube of spit from each of you,” as the President spoke an assistant handed out the medical tubes, “It will be back in about a month. Dismissed.”
Thomas turned towards Hamilton but the alien was already gone.
Thomas stood up, ignoring James’ calls of confusion and ran towards Hamilton’s office.
“What the fuck Jefferson?” Hamilton spat at him upon his entrance to the room, “I thought that this was our dirty little secret. Now, because of some mole in the White House who somehow knows I’m going to get found out. And guess what, genius, I’m a little pissed at you because you’re the only person who knows.”
“I’m not your rat, Hamilton,” he said, “I understand why you might think that but why would I even tell anybody, it’d be too easy for you to find out.”
“Then who the fuck is!?” Hamilton screamed, his voice cracking, “Because this is my life! I can’t just up and go to another planet! Fuck!”
Thomas moved towards Hamilton and sat down beside him.
“We’re going to figure something out, okay?” he whispered to him, “And even if they do find I would never let them take you. Don’t worry Hamilton, you’re not leaving this cabinet anytime soon, not because of all this.”
“Thanks, Jefferson,” Hamilton whispered, “I guess you’re not so bad.”
Thomas laughed weakly.
“I guess not, huh?”
The tests were sent out four weeks ago and the results had begun flooding in.
When the President got his test back the country was relieved to see that he was not the alien and France was disgusted to find out he was part French because of his infamous butchery of the language.
James Madison rolled his eyes at the anticipation in the room when he opened his results, he celebrated sarcastically when it was revealed that he was not the alien. The only ones in the Cabinet who hadn’t received theirs yet were Thomas and Hamilton himself.
Nothing about the situation was good for Hamilton’s health. He was working himself into the ground, paranoid that he’d lose his job as soon as the truth came out. Thomas found the man more than once with a blue tinge to his skin. not from sickness, but from forgetting to stick to his human form.
“The last test results came in,” he told Hamilton grimly, “We’re supposed to pick them up and then open them in the press room. Washington says the affair is bringing good press. Something about connecting with our citizens? Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this is going to suck.”
Thomas saw the worried look on Hamilton’s face.
“Look, I know you think the only way this is going is south but maybe alien DNA is a lot like Scandinavian DNA.”
“Let’s just get this over with,” Hamilton mumbled. He turned towards his office on the way out, looking at it with regret-filled eyes. “C’mon Jefferson. Let’s go.”
Thomas followed him towards the press room silently. He knew that he was fine, but he was worried for Hamilton. What would even happen when they found out?
They took their seats on the couch.
“Here you Secretary Jefferson,” said an assistant handing him his results, “In there are your results and details about your family history and genetics.”
Thomas nodded, thanking him.
“And for you Secretary Hamilton,” he said once more, “Those are yours.”
Hamilton swallowed.
The room was full of reporters, cameras up and eyes bright.
“Shall you go first, Secretary Jefferson?” Hamilton asked him, his face portraying nothing but professionalism.
“I don’t see why not,” Thomas said, doing his best to smile charmingly.
He opened his package and a sheet of paper greeted him, just as it had for every other cabinet member.
He read his results out loudly, slowly and clearly, trying to buy Hamilton more time.
As he finished he turned to Hamilton.
“I believe it’s your turn, Secretary Hamilton.”
“I believe it is.”
Hamilton opened his package with what seemed like unwavering confidence. It was the slight tremble to his top lip that gave him away.
Thomas could feel himself shaking as he felt the camera’s zoom in on the contents of the package.
There was an eerie silence as Hamilton picked up the card and read it to himself silently.
Then, somewhere in the crowd, a rogue reporter yelled the thoughts of everyone in the room.
“What are your results, Secretary Hamilton?”
Hamilton had a serene look on his face, something that Thomas had never seen. It scared him in a way. Hamilton was a being of emotion to see him like this was crazy.
“100% Undetermined.”
The room exploded in volume.
SECRETARY HAMILTON - THE HIDDEN ALIEN
by Ben Tork
TREASURY SECRETARY ALEXANDER HAMILTON’S DNA RESULTS ARE “100% UNDETERMINED”
by Usaji Rei
ALIEN REVEALED - AN INTERGALACTIC WHITE HOUSE INFILTRATION
by Eilish Yen
Alexander Hamilton kept his head held high and his gaze averted as he walked to the Oval Office.
The President had asked him to come to a meeting regarding ‘recent events’.
Like he didn’t know what was going on.
Alexander Hamilton was walking into a trap and he knew it. As soon as he walked in there FBI would take him away to a lab and he’d never see the outside world again. His world would be filled with experiments, nothing more.
And there was nothing he could do about.
So instead of fighting it, he was going to walk into this meeting dignified.
At least he had a legacy. At least it was true.
He knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
Alexander pushed himself through the doors and instead of the swat team, it was the President, sitting down at his desk. If he didn’t know better he’d think that they were talking about the yearly gift exchange.
“Sit down Alexander, I just want to talk.” he said.
Alexander followed the order hesitantly.
“Were you aware of your heritage prior to the DNA test Alexander?”
Alexander nodded, he found no point in lying anymore. You couldn’t lose more than everything.
“What are you, Alexander?”
As the President asked this, he leaned forward, looking him straight in the eyes.
Alexander dropped his disguise.