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Eggsy shut the door behind him and heard the most heart wrenching sound. He walked towards it and saw (Y/n) clinging onto Merlin like he was the last person on Earth. Her face was buried in his shoulder as her body was wracked with sobs. He saw her cry at the funeral, but those were silent tears. Dignified and allowed by a top secret spy organization. But what Eggsy was seeing, these were the cries of somebody who had lost everything, and she had. She had lost her home, her belongings, and her husband. Twice. This was more than anybody should ever have to go through.
Merlin was standing there comforting her, one hand on her back and the other gently stroking her hair. This wasn’t how he wanted this to go. The second he saw Harry on the other side of that mirror, he was thinking of a way to tell (Y/n) that he was alive. For the past year, Merlin had been working right beside her. He saw every silent tear, every sleepless night, every breakdown, in short he had been the best friend he could possibly be to her.
Ginger entered the room with the doctor and Tequila close behind. Tequila took Eggsy to go meet their head of operations while Ginger moved closer to Merlin and (Y/n). “Agent Nimue?” She asked. “Can I ask you to go with Doctor Daniels while I talk with Merlin about how to get Harry’s memory back? She’s our resident psychiatrist and would be more than glad to talk with you about anything.”
(Y/n) pulled her face out of Merlin’s shoulder, and for the first time Ginger saw what utter despair looked like. She’ll never forget what she saw. This wasn’t the pretty cry that movies made you believe in, no this was the cry of somebody who had everything taken from them. (Y/n)’s eyes were red and puffy, tears still flowing and streaming down her face like rivers of sorrow. Her nose was splotched with red and her lashes were darkened and clumped together, the tears still clinging on. Her breathing was still shuddery and uneven as Merlin gently guided her towards Doctor Daniels.
As soon as she was in the doctor’s arms they left the room and headed back towards the infirmary. The walk there was silent, but neither (Y/n) or Daniels felt the need to break it. They finally reached her office and Daniels directed (Y/n) to sit on one of the many chairs in her office. She fetched a glass of water and forced it into (Y/n)’s hands. “Drink. You need to re-hydrate.” (Y/n) slowly drained the glass and set it down on the coffee table in front of her. “So Mrs. Hart, what do you want to talk about today?”
(Y/n) slowly raised her eyes to meet the doctor’s. Daniels had seen eyes like that before on countless clients. Eyes that were devoid of any and everything. Eyes that said everything and nothing all at once. Silence hung in the area between them before (Y/n) finally decided to break the silence. “I’ve lost him all over again.” Her voice was soft and small. “I find out that he’s not dead but that he doesn’t know who I am all in the span of a few moments. This is worse than him being dead.”
Daniels leaned her head to one side and asked, “Why is that?”
“When he was dead, I could mourn. I could think about the life I had with him and be glad with the time I was given with him. But now?” She took in a shaky breath. “He doesn’t know who I am. Unless there’s someway to fix him, I’ll live the rest of my life thinking of all the things that we could have again that will never happen because he doesn’t...” Her eyes started to water again. She let out a shaky laugh after looking up to make sure no more tears ran down her face. She had cried enough for today. “What are the chances that he’ll ever be normal again?”
Daniels mulled this over for a moment before responding. “Well, he has a case of retrograde amnesia. We normally use a stress point, a trigger from their past to bring them back to their regular selves. Seeing as how we didn’t know anything about Harry when he got here, we couldn’t do much. But now that we have three people who are very close to him, maybe y’all can trigger something to bring him back.”
(Y/n) looked into the doctor’s eyes. “I hope you’re right.”
Merlin and (Y/n) lead Ginger through every Kingsman training test they could think of to try on Harry, but none of them worked. Every time a test would fail, (Y/n) would immediately go to Harry’s side. The last test they tried, the one where trainees had to find a source of air in a water filled room, Harry started to panic instead of snap back to his old self. Merlin shut down the simulation and (Y/n) raced to the door waiting for the water to leave the room with Merlin close behind her.
He put a hand on (Y/n)’s shoulder. “Let me go in first. If he’s upset, I’d rather his anger go to me. I’m the one who decided to put him through this test.” She conceded and let him go into the room first while she lingered in the doorway. Merlin was right about Harry not being pleased about almost drowning and was thankful that he decided to take the brunt of his frustration.
She wasn’t really paying attention to what the two were saying until she heard Harry’s familiar timbre say something rather loudly. “I just want to go home. I want to go back to my mother and my butterfly collection.” Her heart dropped. They’ve tried everything and nothing has worked. Merlin solemnly nodded and said that he would arrange for a cab to come and get him in the next few days. Merlin walked by (Y/n) muttering an apology as he walked out the door. She turned to follow him when Harry called out her name.
“(Y/n), would you stay? I haven’t gotten to talk to you in a while.” He had a slight smile on his face. One that he would always wear when talking to her before he finally asked her out to dinner, thanks to Merlin’s pushing.
She gave a small smile on return, the smile not reaching her eyes as the pain of days past lingered in her eyes. “Sure, Harry.” She went and sat down on the edge of the bed beside him, her hands splayed out beside her. “What do you want to talk about today? Books, music, art?” Once they started putting him through the tests to see if they would trigger any memories, (Y/n) took to talking to him after every one. She thought that maybe just talking to him could trigger something and would remember.
He turned his body towards her and said, “Actually, I wanted to talk about you, it that’s alright?” He gently placed a hand on hers but she quickly pulled it away. “For instance, you seem to hate physical contact with me and I don’t know why. Have I done something wrong?”
She looked away from him as she pulled her hands onto her lap. How could she explain to him that every time he looked at her she wanted to cry because the familiarity wasn’t there anymore. How could she explain that every time he so much as brushed his fingers over her hand that she wanted to launch herself into his arms but couldn’t because to him she wasn’t his wife, she was some random woman that’s been putting him through all sorts of weird tests. “You didn’t do anything Harry. You just remind me of somebody I miss very much.”
She didn’t notice the tear slip out from her eye and down her face until Harry brought up a thumb to wipe it away. At first she tensed up, but as he gently swiped his thumb over her cheek she relaxed. They looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments before she tore her eyes away and made way to the door. “I’m sorry Harry, I have something I need to attend to. I’ll come talk with you afterwards, I promise.” She quickly flashed her sad smile and dashed out the door, tears starting to fill her eyes.
Later that day, (Y/n) was cornered by Eggsy. “You’ve been on loads of dangerous missions with Harry, right?”
She was startled by the question but still answered. “Well yeah, of course. Why?”
“Did you ever have a situation where you were in danger, like life threatening danger?”
(Y/n) was starting to become confused. “Eggsy, we were field agents for a secret spy organization. That was the job description.”
He groaned in frustration. “I know that! What I’m trying to get at is was there ever a moment when you and Harry were on a mission and you, you specifically, were in a very high stake, low survival odds or something? Did somebody ever hold you at gunpoint and threatened to do that cliche ‘do what I say or the girl gets it’ or kidnap you to get to him, something like that?”
She started to understand what he was getting at. “There was one mission...” She started to give a quick summary to Eggsy. “We were in Russia on an undercover mission. We were supposed to be there for about two months. It ended up being five because they somehow caught me when I was out doing surveillance. Halfway through the first month too.” She sharply chuckled at her past misfortune. “It felt like ages until he found me. I was beaten and bruised to hell and back because he did the right thing and carried the mission out. When he finally found me, they had me tied to a chair and a gun pointed at my head. He burst in and they started yelling at him in Russian about handing over everything he had learned, all the evidence he gathered.” Eggsy was mentally taking notes of everything she was saying. “Obviously he didn’t and when he was done with them he checked to see if I was still alive and if I had any wounds. It was our first mission after being married and that happened” She smiled sadly at the memory. She gently shook her head to bring herself back to the present. “Eggsy, why is this so important to you?”
He took a deep breath before explaining that he had tried to recreate the final Kingsman trial with a dog that looked slightly like Mr. Pickle. “Long story short, it didn’t work and now he thinks I’m a fucking psychopath. I was thinking that maybe his trigger point has something to be with you. Ginger said that these triggers are normally traumatic events in the person's life so-”
“So you want to try and recreate one of my near death experiences to see if it brings him back?” She interrupted. Eggsy nodded and asked if she was in. He had already run it by Merlin and as long as she was fine with it, he would be ready to try it. She took a deep breath and looked at Eggsy. “This could possibly be our last chance before that cab comes tomorrow, right?” He nodded his head rapidly. She was silent for a few moments, mulling over the idea. Would reliving that memory be truly worth the smallest possibility to bring her Harry back? She looked at Eggsy with a new fire in her eyes. “Let’s do it.”
Harry was putting his few possessions into the bag that was given to him when Doctor Daniels knocked on the door. “Harry? May I come in?”
“Of course Doctor.” He continued packing as he spoke. “Is there something in the medical domain that needs to be taken care of before I leave?”
She shook her head. “I was actually wondering if you would help me look for (Y/n). I can’t seem to find her and she was supposed to come swing by my office earlier.” This caught his attention. Harry may not remember who this woman (Y/n) is, but he had a feeling that she was normally rather punctual.
“Of course I’ll help. Where should we look first?”
The doctor motioned for him to follow her out the door and began her to her preset destination. “Last I heard, she spends a lot of time down by our training facilities.” They made their way down that way, occasionally talking when they heard a loud crash followed by a muffled cry. Harry and the doctor took off down the hall towards the door at the end of the hallway where the noise seemed to come from.
Harry opened the door expecting the doctor to follow him in but the door shut behind him, plunging him into darkness, followed by a click signifying the lock engaging. He jostled the handle until a dim light flickered on. He turned around and what he saw made his stomach turn. There in the middle of the room was (Y/n), bound to a chair, sporting a few bruises and a busted lip. The gag in her mouth prevented her from calling out to him but he could still see the fear in her eyes.
Out of one of the dark corners of the room, Merlin stepped out in disguise. He started speaking in Russian, the same things that (Y/n) sworn up and down were said that day, but Harry looked confused. Merlin kept going through the lines in perfect Russian, but nothing seemed to be clicking for Harry. (Y/n) and Merlin shared a quick, discreet glance and she braced herself. They had agreed that if need be, Merlin or Eggsy could get a bit rough to make it more believable. She relaxed her muscles and braced for the impact of the pistol across her face. As soon as it happened, Harry had turned back around and began pounding on the door, pleading for somebody to open it.
That’s all it took for (Y/n) to call it all off. This was their last resort, and it didn’t work. She easily slipped out of her binds, and tore off the gag. “Lights. Door.” The voice activation took over and lit the room in bright light and unlocked the door. She rushed out of the room and ran to the nearest bathroom leaving, Eggsy and Merlin to explain what just happened. She locked the door behind her and proceeded to wash off the bruises and blood with water and her tears. After a few minutes she heard a gentle knock.
“(Y/n)?” It was Merlin. She unlocked the door and peered out. He saw the real bruise starting to form on her face where he hit her earlier and grimaced slightly. “The cab will be here soon. You should... You know.” She nodded her head numbly and started towards where the cab would be coming to.
She saw Harry standing there alone with his bag. She stood there for a moment, still shell shocked that nothing had worked. She took a deep breath and called out to him. “Harry!” She quickly closed the distance between the two of them. “I wanted to give you your leaving present.” This was going to be the last time she ever did this. She leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his cheek. She pulled away and said, “Best of luck with your butterflies, Harry.”
She turned to walk away but felt his hand gently grab her wrist. He pulled her flush to his chest and said, “Well if this is the last time I’ll be seeing you, I hope you don’t mind me doing this.” She was very confused until she felt his lips on hers for the first time in what felt like centuries.
He may not remember who she is, but their lips moved in sync with each other as a hand went behind his neck and the other cupped his face. His hand floated up to meet her’s on his cheek. His fingers took to tracing patterns on the back of her hand until one of them hit something metal on her ring finger. (Y/n) completely forgot that she had put on her ring on to add to the authenticity of the scene. Harry froze and pulled away from her, holding her hand in his. He was staring intently at the ring, fingers grazing over the delicate butterfly engravings.
“Harry I can explain.” (Y/n) started. However she never got to.
He dropped her hand like it was on fire. He staggered back from her and was looking around wildly, swatting at the air around him. (Y/n) was very concerned but had no idea what to do. She stood there watching him tears starting to fill her eyes again. He finally stopped and he seemed different. His posture, his facial expression, everything was different. He looked at her with a slight look of disbelief. “(Y/n)?”
She took a hesitant step forward. “Harry? Are you alright?” She wasn’t responded to with words. Harry closed the distance between them, his hands cupping her face, and crashed his lips onto hers. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed back feverishly. She knew that he had come back to her. This was the same type of kiss that happened every time one of them came back from a long mission.
They finally pulled away from each other to breathe. They stood there in a peaceful silence before Harry decided to speak. “I love you so very much, (Y/n). I never thought that would happen.” He firmly grabbed her shoulders. “We have to stop Valentine, he has a device that-”
She cut him off by placing a finger to his lips. “We handled that love. You have a lot of catching up to do. You missed a lot in the past year.”
Harry’s expression changed from serious to shocked. “You... you have been living without me for an entire year...” He was honestly surprised. “You didn’t move on from me?”
“I couldn’t Harry. I tried to, but God... I just couldn’t.” She softly laughed to herself. “I saw you every where I turned. Every cup of tea, every agent I sent out, every family I saw, all I could see, all I could think about was you and how you were gone. How all the futures we had together, none of them were going to happen.” She let tears fall freely down her face, she no longer cared about those damn rules Kingsman had. She let a year's worth of tears finally escape her system as she clung to Harry like she would never be able to hold him again.
He held on to her just as tightly while stroking her hair and murmuring how he was never going to leave her like that again. After a few moments he gently pulled away from her and wiped the tears from her face. “My dear,” he started, “after everything's said and done here, I think it’s time I took a step back from field work.”
(Y/n) looked up at him with an astounded look on her face. Harry Hart? Step back from field work? Those words were never in the same sentence, ever. “Harry, what makes you say that? Just because you’ve been out of the field for a year doesn’t mean that you have to stop.” Her decision to switch from being an agent to a trainer had been a long time coming. Losing Harry was what pushed her over the edge.
“That’s not why I’m doing this, my love.” He brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “You see, before I left for Kentucky and,” he paused, trying to find the right words to use, “everything happened, I started thinking about something you had said.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I know we have a very small window left, and I think we should take it.” (Y/n)’s eyes widened and a small spark of hope lit in her eyes. He took a breath before speaking. “(Y/n), I would like to start a family with you. I wanted to tell you after everything with Valentine was over, but I never got the chance.”
(Y/n)’s eyes started to brim with tears and for the first time in what felt like ages, they were happy tears. She started peppering his face with kisses until she finally planted her lips on his and poured every emotion she was feeling at that moment into it. She pulled away and rested her forehead on his. “I think we should get Hamish to cancel that cab.”
“If that wouldn’t be too much of a bother.” He chuckled and picked up his bag. With his other hand on the small of her back, they proceeded to walk back into the Statesman headquarters.
Merlin was already there at the front door. He wanted to make sure his close friend got driven away safely, but he also had a sneaking suspicion that Harry would try and pull something like what just happened. “Welcome back Harry. I’ll cancel that cab.”
“Thank you Hamish.” He turned to (Y/n). “I think I should go and thank the people that have kept me here. Only seems right to.” She nodded in agreement, but not before suggesting that he should change. A suggestion that he laughed at. He did however lean in and whisper in her ear, “Only if you come with me, darling.”
Thanking her years of training, she kept her blush down. She lead him down the winding halls until they came to her room. “I think they can wait to hear from you for a while.” They both smiled at each other and disappeared into her room. Needless to say, it wasn’t until the next day when Harry got to meet everybody.