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When they had started…dating…he knew this day will come. His partner…his ex partner…was a good man, but societal rules weighed too much on him. It was to be expected, with his traditional upbringing, and the sexist environment of his work. Gregory was no weakling who lived his life as others expected him to, but he was also a social being…Unlike himself, who after years of being ostracized, had reached a point in his life, where what others thought or said about him, did not affect him. And he meant that, it was not just a front, like with so many persons who repeated those words over and over, just to convince themselves, and not because they were above what others expected of them.
It had been beautiful and exciting while it lasted. Gregory was smart, funny, tender and considerate, but also passionate and very creative. The perfect lover…more than that, the perfect partner…unfortunately, Mycroft himself was far from being perfect, he could not blame Gregory for always postponing making their relationship public…not only was he a man, he was not even that attractive…people would have made jokes about how if Gregory was going to turn gay, he could at least have chosen a young, gorgeous piece of ass…
Mycroft over looked all that, he locked in one of his mind files the deductions that pointed to how their relationship would end.
After the Eurus incident he had decided to treat himself with a slice of life, he had come face to face with his own mortality, and had realized he had nothing…he had lived by and for his family so they were as safe and happy as they could be, getting nothing for himself…well, if he was going to die next time Eurus decided to play, he wanted to have at least a few happy memories he could call his own, where he was the leading man and not just “the brother” of the hero.
And so, it had begun, he had seduced the beautiful Silver Fox. Up to this day, Mycroft was sure Gregory thought it had been the other way around…and maybe it was, who knows, one can never be sure when it comes to feelings.
The first time they were intimate, it had been rough and desperate, an affirmation of life, of self-worth…they both wanted to prove that if they had been alone for so long, it had been because they had chosen to, that there still was a spark in them, something that other human beings could find attractive.
As was expected from a man as Gregory, sentiment started leaking, and soon their “arrangement” had turned into a “relationship”. Gregory spent the week at Mycroft´s luxurious apartment, and left on the weekends…he had to make sure his own apartment was still standing and keep up with his friends and family, or they could start making too much questions…A million times Mycroft was tempted to ask Gregory to stay, offer him to prepare a nice dinner and invite his family and friends…a “coming out” party of sorts…but the knew that by doing that, he would only precipitate the ending of their relationship, so he kept quiet, and saw Gregory leave every Friday night, to watch him return every Monday night.
They went like that for a couple of years. They were good for each other, just a look, a touch, a hug…no explanations were needed, they instinctively knew what the other required…they both had careers where they saw the worst of humanity, so they both appreciated having something good and warm in their lives.
If Mycroft had been the kind of person who likes to go out, things would have ended sooner; Gregory would not have right out refused to go with him to the cinema or to bars or restaurants, but in public, he would have expected them to act as friends, and not as a couple, which would have broken Mycroft faster.
And so it happened, everything at the same time, as is usually does when ones life is about to end…Gregory´s sister set him up on a blind date with a coworker, a nice woman…and Gregory´s mother got terrible sick…and oh! Wasn´t Gregory´s mother delighted to know that if she were to die, Gregory will not be alone anymore, since rumor had it that the blind date had been a success? Gregory did not want to threaten his mother recovery, so he would go out with the nice woman a few times, just for appearance´s sake…
The few dates added up to become a lot of dates, and not just during the weekends…more often than not, Gregory started staying again at his apartment during the week…his things started disappearing from Mycroft´s house, until everything left was a toothbrush…one that Mycroft could not even say belonged to Gregory, since it was brand new, there had not been an occasion for it to be used, since at last minute Gregory had been invited to dinner at his sister´s house, and as it is obvious, he was expected to bring along the nice woman.
Mycroft was not sure what had happened after that, how they had ended their relationship…it was all a blur of brief calls and bad explanations…and now Gregory was getting married to the nice woman…He rose his glass for the happy couple and gulped the whisky in one go.
Mycroft kept rising his glass for everything he could think of…each day with Gregory, each one of his smiles, each one of his kisses, each time he made him felt loved…He had no idea how many glasses of whisky he had have so far…and that was very telling in itself, as the control freak he was, he kept close count of the quantities of food and beverages he consumed …but right know he just wanted to stop feeling, so control and quantities became secondary…
If he were braver or more of a fool, he would have gone down Sherlock´s path and used drugs, but he knew a lot of people depended on him to be good by Monday, so alcohol had to be enough to numb his heart, till he found a way to once again cover it with ice. He rose his glass once more for all he lost to Gregory and finally went to sleep, hopping that while they had been together, Gregory had loved him more than he had hated him.