Archive of Our Own

Part 1- Before

Nicole pushes locks of hair behind Waverly’s ears and peppers kisses against the back of her neck.

“My love,” she murmurs. She feels Waverly stir in her sleep, wraps her arms around Waverly’s waist, and pulls her girlfriend closer to her.

Waverly looks gorgeous in her sleep. Her features become soft and her eyes become crescents as they do when she smiles. She likes to be spooned by Nicole and confides that she feels the safest in her girlfriend’s arms.

It’s six o’clock in the morning on the day of the dreaded home visit and all Nicole wants to do is make Waverly feel okay. Actually, she’s planning to help her feel better than okay if all goes according to plan.

Rightfully so, Waverly has been nervous for the past few days, scurrying here and there to prepare. They’ve got one shot to show the Agency that they’re the best possible parents for Ariel. Nicole knows her girl. She knows that Waverly is a planner, and believes that if everything doesn’t go according to the itinerary she’s carefully typed up for the day, they’ll blow it.

Nicole has a plan to make Waverly feel good. It seems like it’s going to work out because Ariel slept in her own room last night and hasn’t toddled into their room to crawl in between her foster mothers. Waverly opens her eyes and turns toward Nicole who cups her chin in her hands.

“Hi, baby.” Nicole presses a soft kiss to Waverly’s lips as she closes her eyes.

“Morning, cutie.” Waverly returns the kiss and wraps her arms around Nicole’s neck, leaning into her fiancee’s warmth. She rests her head in the crook between Nicole’s shoulder and collarbone.

“We’ve got this, Waves. We’ve got this.” Nicole kisses her cheek and moves her hand down to the waistband of Waverly’s sleep shorts.

Waverly sighs and closes her eyes. “Baby,” she says and moves Nicole’s hand to rest on her stomach. “I’m freaked out right now. I can’t…”

“I know you’re freaked out, sweetheart. I’m nervous too. I just want you to feel good. It’s going to be fine. ” Waverly presses a kiss to Nicole’s dimple and intertwines their hands together.

“How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?” She bits her lip and considers not telling Nicole about what happened in the middle of the night, but decides to bite the bullet as her tears fall out.

“Baby… Baby. No.” Nicole pushes Waverly’s hair away from her eyes and squeezes her close to her chest.

“I feel like I’m an incompetent mother, Nicole.” Waverly presses her hands over her eyes and sighs.

“Waverly. You’re the greatest mother that she could ask for. Why would you say that?” Nicole takes Waverly’s hands away from her face and rubs them in her own.

“She wants you, Nicole. She doesn’t want me.”

It’s 4:32 in the morning and Waverly wakes up, her heartbeat going a mile a minute. Ariel. She looks over at her girlfriend who is sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly open. She places a soft kiss to her cheek and creeps out of bed, feet padding down the wooden hallway to their daughter’s room.

Maybe if she crawls into bed with her daughter, no one will try to take Ariel away from them. Alice is sleeping like a rock but Ariel tosses and turns in bed when she arrives.

“Wet, CoCo.”

“CoCo’s asleep, sweetheart. I came in to check on you. It’s Waverly.” She sits at the side of the bed and reaches for her little girl. Ariel doesn’t budge, and Waverly tries to help her sit up.

“I want CoCo.” Ariel pulls the covers over her head and scoots toward the other side of her tiny bed.

“C’mon baby. I’ll change you and you can go right back to sleep.” Waverly pulls the covers off of Ariel’s head and scoops her daughter in her arms. She’s not strong enough to pick up the flailing little girl.

“CoCo! CoCo!”

Waverly wipes her eyes and takes a new diaper and the baby wipes from Ariel’s nightstand drawer. “Is it okay if I change your diaper, Ariel?”

“CoCo!” Ariel is in tears, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth. CoCo always changes her nighttime diaper.

Before she came to live with Nicole and Waverly, Ariel remembers how he would come into her bedroom at night. She’s not sure if he was a man or a monster because he would never talk to her. He’d just stare at her and touch her arms and face. She remembers how she’d pretend to be asleep whenever he would visit because maybe he’d go away and wouldn’t touch her in bad places.

CoCo’s so strong, she could protect Ariel from anyone in the world.

“Mama’s going to change your diaper, Ariel.” She feels paralyzed in Waverly’s arms but kicks and screams for him to let go of her. He’s not allowed to touch her.

“Wavy?” She’s at home. She’s at home home home with Wav-early . She stops thrashing and reaches down to take off her dirty diaper. Waverly deposits the diaper in the trash can and wipes her before slipping a dry diaper over her bent legs.

“I’m sorry I’m not CoCo, Ariel.” She snuggles the little girl close to her chest. “But I love you so much.”

“CoCo,” she says, flapping her hands and squeezing them together. “CoCo.”

At that moment, Ariel believes that Waverly can protect her from him, too.

Waverly pads back into the bedroom, defeated, dropping the soiled diaper into the bathroom trash can. She washes her hands on the way and rings them through her hair. It’s stringy and dirty and she’s not ready for tomorrow.

What is she going to do if Ariel won’t acknowledge her by name?

So she pulls away from Nicole and rolls over, soaking in the last few seconds of sleep before she should wake up and take a shower.

“Shower with me?”

“She doesn’t not want you, Waverly,” Nicole says, lathering shampoo into Waverly’s curls. She massages her shoulders, one hand straying down to cup Waverly’s behind. Her girlfriend jumps and wraps Nicole’s hands under her breasts.

“She wanted you this morning, Nicole. She waits for you to come home every night because you’re the fun parent. You can pick her up and carry her. I make her walk because I can’t lift her. I bet she thinks I’m mean.”

“She’s not scared of you, Waves. It’s probably that ma is easier to say than Mama, that’s all.”

Waverly leans her shampooed up hair into Nicole’s chest. “I’m upset because I’m not you. You always know what to do to make her feel better and it makes me jealous. I shouldn’t be jealous of my own girlfriend.”

“You’ve got no reason to be jealous, Waverly. She loves you as much as she loves me.”

“Sure, Nicole. If you looked at half of the notes from her teacher, you’d see that she constantly talks about you all day long. It’s like I don’t exist.”

“Waverly. She can’t always communicate what she feels. You can’t expect her to talk about you on command, she doesn’t have that ability.”

“I can’t expect my own kid to acknowledge my existence? That’s rich, Nicole. She trusts you more than she trusts me.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Waves. I’m glad she’s speaking up in school though.” Nicole shrugs as Waverly huffs and washes her hair.

“First I get my baby taken away by the Agency, and now the Agency won’t think I’m a good fit for Ariel. They’ll love you though.”

It’s not like I do homework, and change her, and play with her while you’re at work.

“You’re being silly, Waverly. I know you’re stressed, but you’re acting irrational and you won’t be able to think straight if you’ve got Ariel’s intentions on your mind during the visit.”

“Her intentions? Why are you acting like the damn school?” Waverly crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m acting like the school? How am I acting like anyone at that school?” Nicole tries to take Waverly’s hands in her own, but her girlfriend rejects her touch.

“You’re focusing on what she can’t do instead of what she can.” Waverly retorts and takes a step backward, eyes flaring with anger.

“ She doesn’t want to use the bathroom independently, she prefers to play alone, she can read and write but fails to answer questions when prompted. She doesn't, she doesn’t, she doesn’t. Do you know how much that hurts? I feel like they think she isn’t good enough when she’s perfectly herself.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Nicole shifts from foot to foot as the shower water cascades down her back. “That’s why I was talking about the Autism Assistance dog.”

“You think that a dog is going to solve all of our problems?” Waverly can’t help but smirk, and Nicole takes her in her arms, resting the palm of her hands on Waverly’s belly.

“Mmm, no,” Nicole says, pressing a kiss to Waverly’s left earlobe. She strokes her fingers through long, brown hair. “I think it might help her socialize a little more because she’ll want to tell everyone about her dog. She’d totally read to the dog too.”

“Are you just trying to get a K-9 unit for the police force?” Waverly thinks of Nicole driving around in her Police Cruiser with a fluffy friend at her side. She’d probably like an Aust-

“I think we should get an Australian Shepard. I looked it up and they’re great with kids,” Nicole says softly.

“I think we should get through this visit first without worrying about adding another member to our family, Nic.” Waverly slinks her arms around Nicole’s hips as her girlfriend turns off the water and reaches for a towel. “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“It’s okay, Waves. It’s okay.”

“She’d totally name the dog Pascal or Bolt, by the way.” Waverly smooths down the creases in her dress and hands the curling iron to Nicole.

“Hey,” Nicole grins as she pours Waverly a cup of coffee a little while later and taps on her Apple watch. “We’ve got an hour until Leise gets here.”

She peers down at their little girl who is carefully shading in a giant Fancy Nancy page in her coloring book with crayons because marker gets all over her hands and face. Waverly pulled Ariel’s ginger hair into identical space buns that match her dress with rocket ships and astronauts all over the skirt. She’d asked for space buns after seeing policewoman Yaz’s hair on Doctor Who, and Waverly was more than happy to oblige.

“What if I take Ariel for t-i-m-b-i-t-s while you relax?”

“That spells timeout and I not bad today.” Ariel peels the wrapper off of her Macaroni and Cheese crayon and scribbles over Fancy Nancy’s hair.

“You’re perfect, today and every day, Ariel. It actually spells Timbits and Ma wants to know if you’d like some before Ms. Leise comes over.” Waverly bends down next to her little girl and tilts her face toward her own.

“Yes.” Ariel puts down the crayon and motions toward Waverly to take her hands and help her down from the dining room chair. “I want Doctor Who, Mama.”

“I promise we’ll watch it as soon as Ms. Leise leaves, baby.” Waverly takes Ariel’s hands and helps her steady herself inside her walker.

“Not the boy Doctor, the girl.” Ariel trudges toward the door as if to say, well, where are my promised Timbits?

Nicole gives Waverly a peck on the lips and helps Ariel with her coat after pulling a light sweatshirt jacket over her blouse.

“Love you,” she says, squeezing Waverly’s hands. “We’ll be back soon.”

Part 2- During

As Nicole shuts the door behind her, Waverly hugs herself as if Nicole’s touch can spread throughout her body. She doesn’t know what to do with the entire house to herself, so she does a quick once-over of the living room and walks upstairs to the girls’ room.

Wynonna, Doc, and Alice went out for the day to give Nicole and Waverly their privacy with the social worker. Secretly, Waverly wishes her sister were here to tell her to get a grip because no one loves their kid more than you do.

So she breathes. She mindlessly turns on Netflix and tucks her feet under her dress as she prepares to show her house to the woman who could snatch their special little girl away. She wonders how Ariel survived five years without love, and five years without a proper diagnosis. She wonders if Ariel would want to stay if it was just her instead of Nicole.

CoCo.

Wavy?

I want CoCo.

She wakes up from her impromptu nap to a knock on the door.

10:55. 10:55 10:55

The digital clock of the cable box says in green typeface.

10:55. 10:55. 10:55.

Waverly’s stomach churns because here she comes, and where are they?

She answers the door, and Leise greets her, bright and blonde and chipper yet oddly monotone as she was on the day she dropped Ariel off four months ago.

“Leise! How are you? Come on in.”

Buy time. Buy time.

The blonde woman walks in and sniffs, seemingly pleased by the Febreeze lemony scent of the Earp homestead on a crisp winter morning.

“Waverly. It’s a pleasure to see you again.” Leise goes in for a handshake and Waverly cringes as she almost shakes with the wrong hand.

“They… Nicole and Ariel went out for donuts about fifteen minutes ago. Traffic must be bad. I’ll text her.” As she types a message into her phone, she realizes how bad that must have sounded.

“We… feed her healthy ninety-nine percent of the time. She’s been a bit anxious about the visit, so um, we figured a treat might help.” Waverly clarifies, and after hitting send picks up a gigantic binder sitting atop the coffee table.

Leise smiles and takes the binder. “That’s quite alright, Waverly. You’ve compiled such a comprehensive report on Ariel, hmm? I received the evaluation criteria and it seems as if your monthly stipend will be upped since Ariel has been recently diagnosed.”

“We… we’ve cared for Ariel out of our own income… we don’t want the money… we just want to make her a permanent part of our family.”

“I certainly do not see why that cannot happen, Ms. Earp, providing all goes well today and on my two substantial visits. I have the paperwork for you two to fill out. You and Nicole are role models of the kindness that foster parents should show.”

To say that Waverly is glowing inside is an understatement. She’s a damn role model. She could give a TED Talk about foster parenting right now.

“Thank you.” Waverly feels like she can breathe for the first time this morning. “Would you like some coffee? Tea?” Her mouth feels dry and sticky because why aren’t they back yet?

It’s not like Nicole not to answer a text.

Part 3: After

Ariel doesn’t know why her Ma won’t wake up. A big white balloon thing is in front of her face and her phone keeps beeping from the passenger seat. Ariel realizes that her mouth hurts as blood gushes from her lips.

Ma.

Ma.

Please, Ma.

If you’re ever in a sit-chu-action where you can’t get me or Ma, you get a phone and press three numbers Ariel. Nine-one-one. That’s all you have to do. Ma’s police friends will come and help.

She unbuckles herself and grabs the phone from the passenger seat. Presses the little green telephone icon and dials the three numbers.

-and can you tell me your-?

- Five. I am five. Ma won’t wake up.

-what’s your Ma’s name?

-Two Ma’s. But only one in the car.

-You have two mothers? Who is in the car with you?

-Nicole Haught. Wavy’s at home. I need help. Get Wavy. 555-0828. Please.

Suddenly there are police around the car and she screams as they try to pry the door open.

They can’t touch her.

She and Leise make small talk while they wait. Waverly learns that she is married, has three children of her own, and pursued a degree in social work after being a teacher for many years.

At quarter after eleven, Waverly’s phone buzzes, and she sighs with relief until she realizes that it’s not Nicole. It’s an unknown number so she excuses herself and swipes to answer.

“ Hello, am I speaking to Ms. Waverly Earp?”

“Yes. This is she. How can I help you?” If this were the nineties, she’d twist the telephone cord around her fingers.

“ My name is Jamie. I’m a nurse at Purgatory General. You’re listed as Nicole Haught’s emergency contact.”

Waverly’s stomach drops. Her hands shake as she tries to hold the telephone to her ear. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“ Nicole was involved in a hit and run this morning, Ms. Earp. We found her on the side of the road, in the vehicle, unresponsive. There was a little girl in the car with her, but she refused to speak.”

“My daughter.” My girl. My girl. “ Our girl.”

“Nicole woke up a few minutes ago. She asked that I call you before she goes in for a CT scan.”

“How is Ariel? A-R-I-E-L. That’s the little girl she was with.”

“Ms. Earp, I’d think you’d better come down here.”

Once a firework, Waverly feels like a rejected ember, fallen to the ground. Her girls. Her girls are hurt. Nicole is the backbone of the family. Nothing can happen to Nicole because she is good and kind and the love of her life.

Nothing bad can happen to Ariel because her little life has just begun.

“Waverly, I’m so sorry. I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

She doesn’t hear Leise but is suddenly in the car with the older woman and then at the hospital desk asking for NICOLE H-A-U-G-H-T and ARIEL M-U-E-L-L-E-R.

Ariel is supposed to be in pediatrics but refused to leave Nicole’s side. Nurse Jamie leads Waverly and Leise down a narrow hallway.

Red hair intertwines and Waverly rushes over to her fiancee and daughter. They’re awake and Nicole has a gash on her forehead and Ariel a bloody lip but they’re alive.

“Hey, so… about those Timbits,” Nicole smiles weakly up at Waverly as her girlfriend takes her face in the palm of her hand.

“My god, Nicole.” Waverly crawls into the tiny bed, resting between Nicole and Ariel. She grips either one of their hands and begins to cry. “I love you two so damn much, I don’t know what I would have done if- Baby,” she breathes, and she can’t believe that Ariel’s nuzzled her cheek close to her own.

“I called 9-1-1- Mama.” Ariel says, grinning. Waverly grips her daughter’s chin as she realizes that the hit and run knocked out the little girl’s two front teeth and her mouth is filled with gauze.

“Just like we taught you,” Nicole breathes softly and steadily and Waverly puts her trembling hand over her girlfriend’s unruly heart.

“I’m so proud of you, my baby,” Waverly says. Ariel grips her hand, and Waverly is aglow.

“Thank God,” Leise says, peering through the doorway and smiling at the little family.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Leise.” Ariel blinks and reaches her tiny hand out to shake the social worker’s.

Nicole smiles as she pops a soft kiss atop Waverly’s head.

Just like they practiced.

“It’s nice to see you again, Ariel. Are you enjoying spending time with Waverly and Nicole?” The social worker pulls up a chair to the edge of the bed.

Waverly’s stomach twists. It’s three against one.

“Yes,” Ariel says. “I hope you leave soon so we can watch Doctor Who.”

Leise’s eyebrow pops up,  but she grins at the little girl’s candidness.

“Tell me about the things you like to do together,” she says, watching how Ariel’s face remains neutral yet calm because she is in the presence of two people who clearly love her.

“Play with Rapunzel. Um… eat food and have sleepovers, and I get to be a police like CoCo for Career Day next week. We take walks, and they tuck me in and one time we went to watch Mary Poppins but it was scary .”

It’s the most that Ariel has ever said coherently in front of all three of them, and Waverly and Nicole couldn’t be prouder.

“I want… CoCo and Wavy. They like me when I’m good and love me when I’m bad. No more leaving please.” Ariel shoves her thumb in her mouth. She’s done talking.

“I think we’re good here, Miss Ariel,” Leise says, shuffling through her bag. “I’ve truly never done a home study like this one before, and… legally I have to come to your house three times but… let’s start filling out the paperwork when you ladies are home safe and sound, shall we? If we get things moving, we can get a court date by the end of the summer.”

“You’re not going to take me away?” Ariel peers up from her spot, head nestled into Waverly’s neck.

“No,” says Leise. “You’ll stay.”

Ariel kisses Waverly’s cheek and squeezes Nicole’s hand.

“Good.”

And she does.

(They very carefully stop for TimBits when Wynonna picks them up the next morning, and make it home safely).

Well, it's all an adventure

That comes with a breathtaking view

Walking the tightrope

With you