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“Happy birthday, Scully,” he said cheerfully, throwing the file her way across the desk.
She caught it before it fell to the floor and looked at him in a mix of annoyance and amusement.
“I’m impressed you remembered. I mean, it hasn’t been four years yet since the last one.”
“Well, I’ve been trying to keep track of important dates since then. I remembered it last year, too.”
He cracked a sunflower seed between his teeth, and she smiled in spite of herself.
“So, all a girl had to do was almost die for you to pay attention to her, huh?”
Her sentence was lighthearted, a joke, but she knew she had gone too far the moment her words were out. She shouldn’t be joking with something as serious as her disease. Also, maybe her sentence implied more than what she had intended it to imply.
He didn’t make any comments, but she knew him too well not to know that the face he was making right now indicated he was thinking of how the hell he could reply to something like that. He finally opened his mouth.
“That makes me look like a jerk.”
His expression was more serious now, his voice lower than it had been previously. It was a sign he was a little hurt by her words.
She shook her head and smiled weakly.
“In your defense, I myself only started caring about my birthday when I realized I was dying, so…”
She didn’t finish her sentence because this was a topic she didn’t like to think about, and honestly, she didn’t know what else to say.
He just nodded, a gesture she took as his way of saying, “I don’t want to relive those memories either”.
He pointed at the file that was now in her hands and she was thankful he understood it was time to change the subject.
“I didn’t get you a present this year, but Skinner gave you a great one, didn’t he? I mean, what could be better than having me all to yourself for a few days? Maybe Skinner somehow knew I hadn’t gotten you anything and decided it would be a nice idea to give you me as a present disguised as an undercover case.”
He wiggled his eyebrows in a funny way, and she couldn’t help laughing.
She did roll her eyes too, though, hoping it was convincing enough for him because she wasn’t too sure herself if she wasn’t actually looking forward to this case. Not only because this was their first case back on the X-Files, but because it might be fun to play the married couple. Obviously, they would only act married in front of other people, but sometimes when you’re acting too hard… don’t even go there, Dana, just don’t.
She stood up to hide the sudden flush in her cheeks for the thoughts she had just had and walked to the filing cabinet. If she took a random file from there, pretended to analyze it, and then put it back, he wouldn’t even notice she was just trying to avoid him until her face was completely back to its usual creamy color.
She opened the top drawer and suddenly remembered there had actually been a case similar to this one years ago, from the time even before Mulder found the X-Files. Maybe there was something there that could help them with the case they had in their hands just now; maybe The Falls at Arcadia wasn’t the only place where mysterious things happened. She kept checking the names of the files one by one, but before she could find anything, she heard Mulder’s voice behind her.
“Happy birthday, Scully.”
Had his lost his memory or what?
“Mulder, didn’t you say just that less than five minutes ago or am I having a deja vu?”
She closed the cabinet and then turned around to find him standing in front of her with a box in his hands.
“Mulder, didn’t you also say there were no gifts this year?”
He shrugged.
“This is actually a gift from Rob to his wife Laura.”
She chuckled as he handed her the box and made a mental note to talk about the names later. She had a feeling she wouldn’t like what he had picked for their last names.
She analyzed the box in her hands for a while and then opened it to find a very tasteful necklace inside. Although she wasn’t too much into jewelry, she would definitely put this one into her I-need-to-have-this category.
“I think this is a perfect gift for Laura,” she finally said with a smile.
She caught his small, proud smile before she turned to the necklace again and took it out of the box. She tried not to think too much about how they did look like a married couple sometimes, or how just the thought of that made her heart beat a little bit faster. Maybe it was why Skinner had assigned them to this case in the first place. Maybe he sensed it too.
She put the necklace around her neck but couldn’t connect the string to the clasp for the life of her. After a few frustrated attempts, Mulder decided to intervene.
“Here, let me help.”
She was about to turn around to give him better access, but he stopped her by stepping forward, replacing her hands with his and then clasping the necklace in place easily. Their height difference came in handy sometimes.
He looked at her again, his eyes sparkling, his mouth turning upwards in a sheepish smile.
“Laura looks stunning,” he then said in a low voice. If she didn’t know better, she would think he wasn’t expecting to say those words aloud.
Her cheeks felt hot again, but she couldn’t hide it this time. She just hoped her blush didn’t show that much because he was too close not to see it. Was it really necessary for him to be this close? Her rational mind said no; her emotional side said he wasn’t close enough. Maybe he also thought about that and it was why he was always invading her space. Funny how she sometimes easily indulged in this unspoken game they played and let her emotional side win. She felt like indulging it just now.
“Laura says thanks, both for the necklace and for the compliment.”
She wasn’t expecting his blush but, when it came, she couldn’t help smiling. At least she wasn’t the one feeling things she shouldn’t.
His blush didn’t prevent him from speaking, though.
“Rob pays attention to Laura, I guess. He did it even before she had a death scare. He’s paid attention to her for longer than he cares to admit, to be honest.”
The feelings his answer caused in her were just more proof that this was dangerous ground. They had to change the subject fast before they ended up saying things for which they weren’t ready yet. It was a complicated time they were living already, she didn’t want to complicate things even more. She tried her best to keep her voice clear of any emotions when she spoke.
“Well, tell me about Rob, then. I mean, if we’re going to go undercover, we have to have a solid background beyond what the bureau provides and both of us have to know each other’s stories.”
He bit his lower lip and looked at her suspiciously, as if wondering why she had changed the direction of the conversation, but he didn’t make any mention of moving away and going back to his desk so they could discuss it properly. Instead, it seemed to her that he moved slightly closer. He seemed focused though, so maybe it had been an unconscious act on his part.
“Rob works from home,” he finally said, “but I’m still not sure what he does. A freelance journalist, maybe?” She nodded. It sounded plausible. “What about Laura?” He asked.
Was he just trying to see if she had indeed thought about it, or did he really think she had thought about it? She hadn’t, but it wasn’t a difficult answer anyway.
“Laura is a pathologist,” she let out matter-of-factly.
He nodded, apparently agreeing that was a nice choice.
“I should have known you’d stick with science.”
“Well, it helps with the cover,” she shrugged. “What does Rob like?”
“Rob likes basketball… hm, let me see…” he thought for a few seconds “…gardening…”
She couldn’t help giggling at this and he looked at her in a funny way. He paused for a few more seconds, as if he were trying to decide if he should speak his mind.
“Rob also likes it when Laura laughs, when her nose wrinkles and all her freckles come together in the middle…” he tucked a lock of hair behind Scully’s ear and shivers ran through her body as her eyes locked on his.
“What else…” she tried to speak, even though air seemed to have disappeared from her lungs “…does Rob like…” she swallowed “…about Laura?”
Her voice was so low she hoped he had heard her. She was just barely aware of her words as she spoke them, and she wondered if that was what people felt when they said they had been possessed by a spirit or an entity or whatever it was that possessed people sometimes.
Her heart was pounding inside her chest as she waited for his answer, as he seemed to analyze her every feature before speaking. She was expecting to hear a full sentence, maybe a joke, but what came out of his lips was only one word.
“Everything.”
He moved his hand from behind her ear and traced her whole jawline with the tips of his fingers, so slowly she thought hours had passed in that single touch. She would have gasped, but there was still no air – just him and his intoxicating self.
She knew doing anything right now was wrong and it went against every rule and regulation she had set for herself, but his lips were so close she thought she wouldn’t resist finishing what they had started a year ago in his apartment hallway. That would have been a hell of a kiss, hadn’t a bee interrupted them.
There were no obstacles now, though. Would she dare closing the gap between them? Would he?
But before her questions could be answered, a voice that came from just outside the office broke the spell; a voice that sounded just as unpleasant as a bee buzzing.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come unannounced.”
Mulder immediately turned his head to the door, but he didn’t move away from Scully.
“Diana, we were just… rehearsing for our new undercover case and…”
“Keep rehearsing, then, it wasn’t important.”
Diana faked a smile and then turned around the way she had come. All they could hear for a while was the sound of her heels clicking towards the elevator and their own breaths, as they both tried to piece the past few moments together in their heads.
Mulder turned to Scully slowly, and she could read confusion all over his face. She, on the other hand, had been brought back to reality. Mulder was not hers, he had never been. There was a time when she thought she and Mulder were inseparable, and until recently she still thought that way. But when Diana came back from his past, she started wondering how large her share in Mulder’s heart really was. A past can destroy a present if you’re not careful. So, careful she would be from now on.
She had just recently started thinking that she might love him, and not just in the way that friends love each other, but whatever it was that she felt and that she thought he also felt would have to be buried deeper. Their partnership was too precious to be caught in the way of a storm of repressed feelings. She would have to find a way of putting some distance between them from now on, at least until Mulder figured out where his loyalties lied and for what reasons. This had gone on long enough.
But how do you keep your distance when you’re about to go on a case where you have to pretend to be married to the very person that’s causing you so much confusion?
She sighed because she was really tired of life and its frustrations.
Mulder was still looking at her and he probably realized something had changed in her, because he tried to say something.
“Scully, I…”
She didn’t know if he was going to say he was sorry and leave it to her to figure out if it was for the second almost-kiss, for being interrupted, for saying they were rehearsing, or for crossing lines he shouldn’t have. What she did know was that he was about to apologize, and she didn’t want any apologies.
She placed a hand on his chest to physically put some distance between them, but she immediately regretted it. She could feel his heart beating fast under her palm and she was having a hard time interpreting it, interpreting him, interpreting it all. Her way of trying to push him away had actually made her feel more connected to him and more willing to give in. But she couldn’t, she knew she couldn’t.
“Mulder…” she took a deep breath before saying her next words “Let’s not get carried away by this case, okay?” If she kept looking into his eyes, she might do things she might regret, so she lowered her gaze to where her hand was and slowly dropped it to her side. Then, she slowly got away from the nest he had created by surrounding her like this, murmuring as she passed, “It is safer that way.”
She didn’t know if he heard her, but he kept standing there in the same position for a few more seconds, seeming to take a few deep breaths before he followed her back to his desk.
“Okay,” he said as he sat down, but he didn’t meet her eye. “Let’s do what we do best, partner.”
She wasn’t sure how to take his words, but she was sure her message had gotten across. Still, it didn’t make things any easier.
It was only after a few minutes of pregnant silence that she decided to speak.
“Mulder?”
He looked at her then, his face not giving away his thoughts. He didn’t answer, just waited.
“Thank you for the birthday present.”
He smiled, seeming relieved everything was well enough they could communicate.
“Didn’t you just thank me less than five minutes ago or am I having a deja vu?”
She chuckled, realizing what he had just done.
“No, that was Laura thanking Rob. Now this is Scully thanking Mulder.”
He nodded appreciatively.
“You’re welcome. I hope it matches Laura’s outfit.”
She wished he didn’t have this power of making her smile so easily, because right now that was all she could do.
“I’ll find a way, don’t worry.”
She wasn’t sure if she was saying this to herself or to him, but she guessed it served both purposes. Finding a way of making the necklace match the outfit would be easy; the difficult part would be finding a way of not getting carried away by the case. She could only hope Mulder would keep his promise and try his hardest to remember they are just partners trying to solve a case, no matter how married they would have to look. Knowing him, though, would he really?
Well, maybe he wouldn’t, but she didn’t have a choice. All she could do was brace herself for whatever it was that might happen and for what already looked like the longest case of her entire life.