Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Agent Melinda May (Level 1, first summer out of SHIELD Academy) wanted to be a licensed pilot by the time she turned 25.

She was 24 and a half.

She knew it was childish to count like that but she was getting frustrated. Not only was her ambition not taken seriously, but any instructor who was willing to train her had no patience for her arbitrary deadline.

It took at least three years for a pilot to get trained and certified, they said.

Carol Danvers said she could make a pilot out of her in three months. But only if she busted her ass and listened.

Melinda was under the (ridiculous) impression that SHIELD training ended once you graduated academy. She found the lessons tedious, so on the days where Agent Hand left her unit in the hands of agents far less observant, Melinda would sneak off and meet Captain Danvers for flight lessons.

It took three weeks in the simulator and eight in the air before she was ready to take her test.

Agent Hand was pissed, but said nothing further when May’s results came in and she passed with flying colors.

Director Fury was solemn as usual when he handed her her pilot’s wings, but May could have sworn she saw amusement flicker in his eyes when he looked at Captain Danvers.

She would try to ask Fury and Danvers about that later, but neither of them ever gave her an answer.

Agent May had to whisk a team out to Morocco at five in the morning.

As she picked up her duffel bag she noticed a note hidden in one of the side pockets.

“Good luck out there May. And happy birthday” – Carol Danvers, Ace Pilot Instructor

Chapter Text

“You are Agent May of SHIELD, correct?”

Melinda was awestruck by the God of Thunder. He was taller and even more beautiful in person.

She couldn’t talk to him yet, not when she was so afraid that whatever she tried to say to him might come out as a squeak. And who the hell wants to embarrass themself in front of an Asgardian?

She nodded numbly.

Thor smiled.

“Lady Sif has told me much about you. She said you were, and I quote, ‘quite admirable’. That’s basically her way of calling someone the best person she’s ever met, ever. Even she never described me as quite admirable, just simply…admirable.”

He took a look at her face and stopped rambling, smiling shyly now.

“I’m sorry. She also mentioned you are quite reserved. I’ll stop talking if it bothers you.”

Melinda took a step closer to him and smiled softly.

“It doesn’t.”

 Thor was a little bit dorkier than she expected and not dumb, but…humble. Down to earth, or at least more than she thought the demi-god Avenger would be. And she loved it.

He seemed to love something about her too as he floated into her personal space, stretching an arm down to brush a lock of her hair.

“The Lady Sif also said you were beautiful. But even that does not do you justice.”

“Sif talks about me that much?”

“Well statistically speaking, Sif doesn’t talk much at all. But if anyone is worth it, Lady May, it would be you.”

“Just May is fine. Would you like to…talk more over a drink?”

She peeked up at his face and was relieved to find Thor beaming.

“Sure. But I should warn you I can handle large amounts of alcohol quite well.”

She raised a challenging brow.

“So can I.”

Chapter Text

Few things could surprise Tony Stark.

He made sure he had either Jarvis or a hired team to make sure of this, and whatever managed to slip through the cracks and surprise him anyway typically rolled off his shoulders until it was pawned off to someone else.

He was expecting a check in from SHIELD today. He was not expecting the agent that showed up in place of Coulson.

The elevator dinged and before she could step off the platform he yelled, “Security bre – you’re not Agent.”

She took a step inside the penthouse and crossed her arms. Objectively she was very pretty, gorgeous even. She was in what he guessed was standard-issue SHIELD clothing: all black, eagle patch on the arm, impressively tight black pants (he wasn’t sure if that was part of the uniform or a personal choice, but he approved), heeled leather boots that were definitely not standard issue. All of that in a five-foot-nothing frame haloed in dark hair and almond eyes and a heart shaped mouth currently set in an unamused glare.

“Coulson called in sick. As his partner I was sent to monitor you in his place.”

“Really? He seems like the type to never use his vacation days.”

That was two surprises for today.

“I just need to take an inventory of the property for contraband technology”, she continued without hearing him. “It shouldn’t take long.”

She looked like she could kick his ass if she wanted to.

“Do you wanna come inside, Agent Not Agent? You won’t monitor much from there.”

She reluctantly stepped into the loft and began to sweep the area. He followed her around as she swept the perimeter looking for tech that was safely hidden away.

“Coulson never told me he had a partner. Maybe if you showed up last time I would’ve been more receptive.”

She didn’t spare him a glance.

“You’re a tough crowd, huh?”

Agent Not Agent narrowed her alluring brown eyes at him now.

“Babysitting Tony Stark was not at the top of my to-do list. I’m sure both of us wish Coulson was here instead.”

“Not me, no. Not in the slightest,” he cleared his throat. “Do you have a first name, Agent Not Agent? Or a last one?”

“I do.”

That seemed to be all she was going to say.

“…Okay. Can you…tell me what it is?”

“No.”

A straight answer this time. Progress.

“So you said you’re Coulson’s partner - ?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking.”

“So you’re single?”

She sighed and seemed to give up indulging him at all.

“The check’s done. Agent Coulson will be back in two weeks.”

Her heels clacked up the marble steps back to the penthouse entrance.

“Wait, come on. Not even a name? Or a phone number. Relationship status? These are things I need to know, Agent! I can call Fury right now and he’ll tell me.”

“No he won’t.”

True. Fury hated talking to people more than this strange lovely woman did. He especially hated dealing with Tony.

The elevator doors closed. Tony sighed. He noticed something on the floor.

It was a small pocketbook with a SHIELD badge inside.

Melinda Q May, Level 7 field operative of Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division

“Wow. That’s what SHIELD stands for?”

There are several things that surprised Tony Stark that day: the tiny enigma known as Melinda Q May, and the fact that someone in the organization had really wanted their initials to spell shield.

Chapter Text

She was a force to be reckoned with.

People say that, right? Like…that is an actual thing that people say to describe someone awesome?

Good.

Because that’s my girlfriend. And I don’t even mean that in a super sappy way (she would hate that), but yeah, my girlfriend Mel is pretty badass.

Remember that sick move I pulled with those goons on the freeway where I took them all out with twelve bullets? She did it with five.

The rest she destroyed with her (super rockin) body. Her lips are moving right now. I think she’s talking to me. She wants me to do something….

“WADE, DUCK!”

What…?

She just shielded me from a fucking bullet, you guys.

“What the hell were you thinking?! I said we were under attack!”

“Oh. Um…didn’t hear it, babe, I’m sorry.”

She cocks her head. (She’s still on top of me by the way, even though she just shot the last Nazi goon in the face.)

“Were you doing that stupid thing where you narrate everything to an imaginary audience in your head?”

Shit.

“Uhhh no?”

She sighs. A few strands of her hair tickle the side of my face.

“We’re lucky neither one of us got shot. Let’s go.”

“Lead the way, Xena.”

She rolls her eyes.

“You have got to find a newer reference.”

We roll over and get up at the same time.

“But I feel like no other duo describes our relationship more than Xena and Gabrielle.”

I try to hold her hand and she lets me, curling her small fingers around my suit.

“You talk too much, Gabrielle.”

“You talk too little, Xena.”

And then she laughs, and I ended the story right there because I knew we were about to have some super hot sex that would be unsuitable for people under 18 to see.

Bye!

Chapter Text

They were stationed in Sokovia.

The gunfire hadn’t reached her campsite yet but explosions could be heard going off and Melinda knew it was only a matter of time before they got here.

Coms were dead and her quinjet was parked in a remote location in the mountains. She would have to drive directly through enemy fire to get to it.

“Need a ride?” Melinda pulled her gun and looked around for the voice, but she couldn’t see anyone else with her in the clearing. Until she looked up.

“Steve told me we had a man on the ground surrounded in enemy territory. And while you obviously aren’t a man, you look like you could use a lift.”

Sam’s wings were impressive. Melinda knew they were made with some of Stark’s savviest technology but seeing them up close was different.

The man hovering above her on said wings wasn’t so bad looking either.

“I have a quinjet hidden in the mountains past the bridge. I’ll fly us both the hell out of here if you take me to it.”

“Say no more, Agent May. There’s not exactly a seatbelt on this thing so we’re gonna have to cling pretty tight. Is that okay?”

“Yeah”, she nodded, “it’s fine.”

Sam landed on the ground and gently circled his arms around her waist. She locked her fingers inside his and took a deep breath. Flying a plane was not the same thing as actually flying through the air. Sam noticed her discomfort and squeezed his arms around her tighter.

“You can close your eyes if it helps.” His voice was low and soothing in her ear. Melinda shook her head.

“I’ll be fine.”

If Sam still doubted Melinda he didn’t show it, and a moment later he powered up his wings and took the two of them through the mountains. He flew high enough to avoid the gun shots and explosions of down below, but low enough to keep his passenger from getting altitude sick.

He saw the quinjet parked expertly inside a little nook in the mountains and flew them right next to it.

 As soon as their feet touched the ground she lifted the hood and ushered him inside.

He took a seat in the copilot’s chair and watched with awe as Melinda slipped back into her element, placing her headset on and preparing the jet for takeoff with ease.

They were up in the air in minutes, and Sam knew she saw him staring out the corner of her eye when she glanced up at him and smirked.

“This one does come with seatbelts, but if we’re anything but smooth sailing you have permission to parachute us out of here.”

Turns out they didn’t need seatbelts for that ride, either.

Chapter Text

Melinda was nursing a shot of whiskey in a bar that used to double as a SHIELD safehouse.

It was taken by the government when the team went to space and abandoned again after half the universe disappeared.

She didn’t look up when the door opened.

Nat sat next to her without a word and stole the bottle from her lips.

“No use for shot glasses at the end of the world.”

Melinda nodded. Without looking up still she commented, “You changed your hair.”

“Yeah. Do you like it?”

Melinda stared at Nat’s platinum blonde bob.

“Honestly…”

Nat strangled out a laugh that strangely sounded like cry for help.

“I can always count on you to tell me the truth, Mel.”

Melinda heard the words for what they really were: I can always count on you, Mel.

She steals the bottle back from Natasha while the other woman leans her back against the counter.

“The Black Widow and the Cavalry”, Natasha said, “calm even in the face of the apocalypse.”

Melinda snorted at that. “It would be nice to feel nothing like they said we did.”

“Yeah.”

They pass the bottle back and forth until it empties, gradually leaning closer towards each other with each passing swallow.

When they drank all the whiskey Natasha tried to drop it on the wooden floor, but Melinda held her wrist before she could.

“Just let me drop it, Mel. There’s no one left to clean it up.” Natasha had tried to make the sentence sound like a dare, but the alcohol in her system wasn’t allowing her to hide anymore and her voice came out broken and shallow to her own ears.

Melinda’s brown eyes found hers, hazy and slightly unfocused, but steady. Warm.

“We’re here, Nat. We’re here.”

It was like a dam broke inside of Natasha. She leaned her head against Melinda’s shoulders and sobbed for everyone they lost, for the people left behind.

Natasha couldn’t hear her, but she knew Melinda was crying on her shoulder, too.

Chapter Text

She returned to the base two days after it happened.

The night of Phil’s death she’d just wanted to be alone and wallow in solitude, as pathetic as it sounds.

She’d told the team as soon as it happened, though.

She and Daisy cried on the phone together for felt like – what probably was hours.

Daisy offered to stay on the phone with her until morning, maybe do a video chat along the way.

She said no.

She said to send a quinjet to pick them up in the morning (they still wanted Phil to have a proper SHIELD burial, even though there wasn’t a proper SHIELD to go back to, yet.) But for the right now it was best for the team to grieve alone.

She doesn’t ask about Fitz; if there was any information to tell regarding their search, Daisy would have told her already.

Davis steps off the quinjet the next morning and offers to carry the body.

This time, she accepts the help, but only on the condition she fly them back to the Lighthouse.

Melinda takes one last glance at their Tahiti cabin.

Phil lasted 196 days on this island, and she was right by side the whole time.

Nearly seven months.

They had gotten more time than they thought they would, really. But thinking of all the days she would have to spend soldering on without him, continuing as the Cavalry, 196 days would never be enough.

Chapter Text

“Dude, there’s gotta be some kind of mistake here.”

“For the last time, Eleanor, The Good Place doesn’t make mistakes.”

Eleanor rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“Oh really? So it’s possible to have two soulmates that I have nothing in common with? Look Michael, I can barely handle being around a singular person that’s hotter and way better than me.  But two? How exactly is this ‘good’ for me?”

Michael sighed. It was attempt number….oh dear, he couldn’t even remember at this point, and he was clearly running out of ideas. He thought that if he tweaked the pairings just a little, and kept Chidi and Eleanor the fork away from each other than maybe, maybe, this reboot just might have a fighting chance.

But, as usual, the blond trashbag in front of him asked too many questions, and it was getting really hard to keep up the ‘nice architect guy and not literal-demon-sent-to-destroy-all-your-puny-hopes-and-dreams vibe.

Luckily Eleanor blabbered on, completely unaware of his nefarious intent.

“I mean don’t get me wrong, they are hot. Melinda’s got this whole sexy brooding vibe going and Tahani has legs for days but seriously, we’ve tried talking and none of us like each other.”

That’s it. That’s how they torture each other! Oh, it’s brilliant!

Michael put on his best imitation of a sympathetic face and patted Eleanor’s hand.

“And I’m sure you’ll figure it out, dear. We’re all rooting for you.”

No we sure as heck are not!

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Eleanor I must be off, there’s um…architect business I must attend to at once.”

Michael vanished from thin air and left the three women in their house alone.

A loud, obnoxiously British voice came running over to where he stood. “Was that Michael? Where on earth did he go?”

Eleanor sighed. “He left us alone, babe. It’s just us and that hot broody lady over there.”

“Oh that’s disappointing. Not that I ever judge anyone on first appearances, but that Melinda is quite frightening. I tried to boop her on the nose this morning and she threatened to rip my finger off!”

Melinda was reading a book and drinking tea. Every so often she would look up and silently dare the two of them to try to join her on the couch.

Eleanor leaned her back against the counter as they both stared at their soulmate.

“Dang. Now that’s something I wanna see.”

Tahani’s eyes bugged out of her head and Eleanor added, “No offense to your finger or anything.”

Tahani pouted melodramatically. “This is simply a conundrum.”

“Hey”, Eleanor poked Tahani on one of her freakishly long arms. “I dare you to go over there and talk to her.”

“Me?! Not a chance, Melinda already hates me!”

“Yeah, that’s why it’d be funny.”

“I can hear you talking over there.” Melinda spoke for the first time, not looking up from her book. Her voice was smooth and lilted and…amused? Was she forking with them?

“It wasn’t me”, said Eleanor. Tahani cleared her throat. “We were just…um…”

“You don’t have to lie.”

The two of them stopped talking. She stood up from the couch.

“I’m going to bed. I’m calling the big room.”

“Um before we bid you goodnight, Miss Melinda, did you have any…ground rules you wanted to share?”

Tahani shrank back after asking her question and Melinda smiled.

“Yes. Never touch me without my permission…and don’t drink my tea. Goodnight.”

Eleanor and Tahani looked at each other as Melinda climbed the stairs (wait, there are STAIRS?!) to her new room.

Maybe getting along with each other wouldn’t be so hard after all. She was totally still scary and Tahani was completely annoying, but they could still make it work. Right?

Chapter Text

Captain Holt emerged from his office with a short Asian woman wearing aviator glasses at his side.

“Attention everyone. There’s a new detective I’d like to welcome to the nine-nine today. Her name is Melinda May. She transferred over from Vice Los Angeles last night. Please give her a warm welcome. That’s all.”

May made no moves to introduce herself to anyone, instead settling into an empty desk by the copier and getting started with her work.

Jake walked up to Boyle and Santiago.

“She’s from Vice LA, guys. I bet she’s badass.”

“Jake are you kidding?!”, Boyle said. “She’s wearing aviators in doors. Of course she’s badass!”

“Man, I’d give anything to do something so cool. Wonder why she gave it all up and came here.”

“Maybe she’s cray cray, like Pimento”, Amy whispered.

Jake blinked. “Did you just say cray cray? It sounded so weird coming from your mouth and honestly, Amy, it kinda turned me on.”

Rosa walked up the gang. “What are you guys talking about?”

Jake and Amy were about to yell “nothing” at the same time and awkwardly stare at the coffee stain on Boyle’s desk when Boyle said, “Jake gets turned on by Amy calling people crazy.”

 “Gross”, Rosa replied. “Anyway, what do you guys think of the new detective? I think she’s hot.”

Amy cringed. “Rosa, are you sure you wanna get involved with another person who transferred out of Vice? It didn’t well last time.”

“I know that, Santiago, I was there. Besides this woman seems different...like, emotionally stable. I think I’m gonna go for it.”

“Buddy, if she was emotionally stable then you wouldn’t be attracted to her.” Jake hid behind Amy and waited for Rosa to hit him.

“Shut up, Jake. And screw all of you. I’m gonna go ask her out.”

Rosa left them to go to May’s desk and was back in less than 30 seconds.

“She said yes. We’re dating now. In all of your faces.”

Amy glanced over at May’s computer screen and was shocked to see her on Facebook. The corners of her mouth formed as smile as she silently changed her relationship status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship’.

Chapter Text

She orders herself a shot and glares daggers at anyone dumb enough to approach her.

She was there for a job, nothing more.

Except this one was personal. Klaus Mikaelson, the infamous hybrid of New Orleans, set fire to an entire town in the late 90’s to clean up one of his killing sprees. Found amongst the wreckage was the brunt corpse of her seven year old daughter, Skye.

So when his father Mikael hired her to rid the earth of his wretched son once and for all, Melinda felt all but compelled to say yes.

She was dressed to blend in, a sleeveless band t-shirt stolen from an ex-girlfriend hanging loosely on her shoulders. Tight, formfitting black jeans and flat-footed combat boots.

She’d neglected to wear a bra.

The few men that did try to approach her were sent on their merry way with a shard of glass in whatever area they’d tried to touch her.

It took more time than she liked, but eventually they stopped trying to touch her.

He approaches her one day after watching her knock a handsy asshole’s head on the counter from his spot in the shadows.

He pulls up a stool without a fear and sips his bourbon. She glares back at him and he smiles arrogantly.

“I don’t think we’ve met, have we, love?”

She shakes her head, knowing it’s a lie.

“I’d thought not. A woman like you is hard to forget, and I’ve met many women.”

Her daughter Skye would have been a woman by now, if not for him.

“You’re not afraid of me.”

Klaus shakes his head. “I’m afraid of nothing, as you seem to be.” His hand slides up her knee and she allows it, learning her body towards his. The white oak stake burns in her jacket pocket.

When she kisses him his lips are soft, and not entirely unpleasant. He sucks at her bottom lip when she comes up for air. “All the times I’ve seen you in this shite establishment, and I don’t even know your name. A tragedy.”

She moaned. “Sorry, sweetheart. I don’t kiss and tell.”

She shoves the stake in the place a heart should be and watches in satisfaction as his eyes glaze over, surprise forever etched on his ghastly features. His body falls to the ground and she pulls out a lighter. For Skye.

The flames reflect in the black of her shades as she rides her Harley away from the scene. The filthy bar and its most bloodthirsty, murderous patron are no more.

Chapter Text

The Ant Man and the Wasp and the Cavalry were in the middle of a very heated game of Uno.

That sounds of the intro of a joke, Scott knows, but after an entire whisper-convo with Melinda, whose lap she was comfortably snuggled on, Cassie decided to hit him with another draw 4 card, and she changed the color to red, which, thanks to Hope’s last play, they all knew he didn’t have.

Scott sighed. “Really, peanut? Whose side are you on here?”

Cassie giggled playfully and Scott couldn’t even pretend to be mad at her.

Hope snickers from her spot on the couch. “Not yours, apparently.”

Cassie shrugged. “You shouldn’t have skipped Mel.”

Melinda smirks at him and high fives Cass on a job well done.

“Honey that was five turns ago!” Neither of them is sure who exactly Scott is talking to and it makes them laugh harder.

Hope just shakes her head. “Meanwhile…”

She places a skip and draw 2 on the rug and Melinda scowls.

“Ha!”, Scott laughs. “Cosmic karma, I love it.”

She turns to Cassie. “What’s the next move baby?”

Cass thinks for a moment. “Sorry Mel. Hope’s got you beat.”

Melinda scoffs, but there’s only fondness in her tone. “Traitor.”

Cassie sighs and leans dramatically into Melinda’s arms, which automatically start smoothing her hair.

“This is getting too intense for me guys. I think I have to sustain myself.”

Hope chuckles and Scott and Mel can’t hold back their smiles.

“You mean abstain?”

Cassie yawns. “’S’what I said.”

Scott leans over his daughter and kisses her head. “Go to sleep, peanut. We got this.”

“Okay”, Cass whispers, nodding off to sleep, “don’t kill each other.”

Hope grins and whispers back.

“No promises.”

Chapter Text

Domino tied her curly hair in a bun.

“I’m gonna jump into the river,” she said. “You coming Wade?”

“Uh…yeah. Yeah of course Doms. I just gotta, you know, put on sunscreen. Not all of us are immune to sunburns.”

She gave him a funny look. “Black people aren’t immune to sunburns, Wade.”

“No! I know! I know that. I just…gotta do something first. I’ll catch up with you though.”

Her brows furrowed for a second and she shrugged it off. “Okay. I’ll meet you guys down there.”

She turned her back to him and walked up the cliff’s edge. She turned around and caught his eye and waved.

Wade gave her a thumbs up.

“I’m right behind you, sweetie,” he told her.

Domino smiled back then did a perfect backflip into the river.

Lucky, as always.

It wouldn’t take her long before she wondered what his holdup was, and uh, that would be bad.

“You can’t swim, can you?”

She snuck up behind him like a ghost and he squeezed the sunscreen bottle. He squinted as lotion landed on his eye.

“What makes you say that, Melinda? Because it’s not true. Whatever made you say what you just said…it’s a lie.”

She crossed her arms. He folds.

“Fine, I can’t swim, alright? You caught me.  Now go, join Dom, have your girl time. Make fun of what a loser I am. There’s a lot of options for you right now, I’m kind of jealous.”

She uncrosses her arms and comes closer.

“I’m not here to make fun of you, Wade. I wanted to teach you.”

Wade stared at his girlfriend, feeling gratified. “You want to teach me how to swim?”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Can I?”

He reaches down to hug her, feeling choked up.

“Hell yeah. As soon as I dive in.”

She scrunches her face. “Most people learn to swim before they try diving into deep water.”

“Yeah but what came first: the chicken or the egg?”

“That metaphor doesn’t even make sense in this situation. Neither does you diving into water you won't be able to swim in!

“Hello?!” Domino calls from below. “What’s taking you guys so long? Also did you guys know this lake is freshwater? We can fill our canteens here, which is super lucky because I drunk all my water on the way here.”

“We’re on our way down Doms,” Melinda said.

They jumped into the water together, and as luck would have it, Domino was too busy filling their canteens to see Melinda save Wade’s ass from drowning the moment they got there.

Chapter Text

Melinda’s brows were etched into a V.

Bobbi tried unsuccessfully to hold back a smile. “You’re gonna strain your muscles if you keep glaring like that, babe. It isn’t healthy.”

Her face didn’t change.

Bobbi snickered.

“You know, maybe if you asked me nicely I’d willing to give you what you want.”

Still, Melinda glared.

“Or not. It’s your call.”

Melinda fumed. “I can just kick your shins and make you bend over.”

Bobbi laughed. “You could do that. But then that would start a fight and we’d be at it for hours.”

They both knew they could never back down from a challenge. It was their greatest flaw, and the reason they worked out so well as a couple.

“Mel,” Bobbi’s voice turned gentle, “Just say you want me to bend down so you can kiss me.”

Melinda’s glare lessened and she pouted. “It’s embarrassing.”

Bobbi brushed a lock of her girlfriend’s hair. “No, it isn’t. You have nothing to prove to me. You already got me, remember? Besides, I know you secretly love being the little spoon.”

Melinda tried to object but Bobbi stopped her with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s okay, Melinda.”

Melinda sighed. “Can you….can you please…”, she trailed off and Bobbi waited with a smile.

Melinda glared again as she realized her girlfriend wouldn’t make things easy for her, so she started again in a rush.

“Can you please bend down so I can kiss that smug grin off your stupid sexy face.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely….”

Bobbi leaned down and Melinda caught her in a ferocious kiss, finally dragging her down to where she could reach. Her fingers tugged on Bobbi’s blonde locks and she moaned. Melinda growled and led them to the couch, where she punish her girlfriend once and for all with her talented tongue.

Bobbi grinned. Here was a style of torture she was totally fine with.

Chapter Text

“Melinda May. You are in The Bad Place. Would you like to know why?”

Melinda shook her head. She couldn’t lie and pretend that she always believed in the concept of heaven and hell during her time alive, but if there was one thing she was certain of, it’s that she didn’t belong in the good place. She couldn’t, not after –

“Oh dear. You think I’m talking about Bahrain, don’t you?”

Melinda looked up, confusion evident on her features. “Why else would I be here?”

“Oh Melinda…” Michael shook his head and chuckled. “No dear. I-I know you feel bad about it, but killing that girl saved hundreds of lives. Your actions in Bahrain actually gave you 50 points, with around 5 or so each year as sort of a…compensation, if you will, for the trauma you suffered afterwards. You are not here because of Bahrain.”

Melinda blinked and leaned back in her seat. “Okay. Why am I in the Bad Place, then?”

Michael cleared his throat. “Well, do you remember that prank you pulled on John Garrett back in the academy? The one that resulted in him being the laughing stock of Shield?”

She gaped at him.  “That’s it? I’m in hell for playing an amateur prank on a chauvinist dick that turned out to be a Nazi?”

“This isn’t hell, but yes. Also, the other pranks you pulled, including telling Phil Coulson that Captain America would want Phil to watch him in his sleep like a creeper. He didn’t. He thought Coulson was weird after that.”

She shook her head. “I can’t believe this. Out of all the things I’ve done, this is what I go down for. If you want my opinion, this place is a joke.”

“I don’t, but if it makes you feel better, Grant Ward and John Garrett are currently getting their insides turned to mush and redistributed into cat food.”

It did make her feel slightly better.

“I just feel bad for the cats.”

Michael laughed. “Oh, the cat food isn’t for cats. It’s for kraken-like creatures who go on wacky galactic adventures with iconic female superheroes in major comic franchises.”

Melinda smirked. “They would hate that.”

“I know! But anyways, there was something I needed you to help me with concerning the three losers who are here with you. They don’t know that is the Bad Place, I need to help me keep them in line.”

“How would helping you torture these people torture me?”

“Because you hate helping people.”

She nodded. He had a point.

Michael clapped his hands in excitement. “Right then! So it’s settled. Torture buddies?”

Melinda rolled her eyes. This guy was incredibly obnoxious, and she would have to spend the rest of eternity playing a giant prank with him on the poor schmucks who thought they’d made it to the Good Place.

She sighed. “I hate this already.”

Michael beamed. “That’s the spirit!”

Chapter Text

Peter had two aunts named May.

It happened in a super weird, almost Lifetime-movie-ish way. No wait – Lifetime is the one where the ex goes crazy or there’s like, a murderous stalker who’s obsessed with the main character and murders anyone he thinks isn’t good enough for her…no wait – that’s that new Netflix show.

Well, anyway, Peter Parker had two aunts, they were both named May (Aunt Melinda was always called by her first name in the house, though most people outside the family just knew her as May or Agent May).

Peter’s life was practically a superspy flick these days, which leads us back to his two Aunt Mays.

After Nick Fury showed up in his room telling Peter to pack a bag for Italy, a woman who introduced herself as Agent last-name May met Peter and Aunt first-name May at JFK the next morning.

She was a pilot, and she was here to take Peter to meet with Fury as part of his next mission. Fury told them over FaceTime (it took Peter 10 minutes of non-stop calls to get Fury to vid-chat, mumbling something about how kids never want to have a normal conversation anymore, they always have to do a damn video) that May was one of the best agents he had, and he completely trusted her to fly Peter safely to their meeting point.

“Huh”, Aunt May said. “That man never trusts anyone.”

Agent May smirked. “It took him twenty years to trust me.”

Aunt May smiled back. “You must be really good at what you do.”

Agent May looked down almost shyly before she got back to business. “I’ll have Peter call you as soon as we land.”

Aunt May nodded. “Great.” She cleared her throat and smiled at Agent May again. “Maybe, once everything is settled and you’re back in the neighborhood, I could call you, and we could…do lunch?”

Agent May’s face didn’t change that much, but the corners of her lips arched up and her eyes lit up with eagerness. “I’d like that.”

“Great. Its kind of weird to meet someone with the same name, even though we don’t technically have the same name…I’m sorry, did any of that make sense?”

“It did.” Agent May smiled for real this time. “And both of you can call me ‘Melinda’, if you want. It might avoid some confusion.”

Peter stepped eagerly between the two Mays. “We need to have a codename for you guys. What about…May Squared?”

“Why would we even need a codename, Peter?” Aunt May asked.

“Because you guys like each other and we need a way to talk about you as a couple. And it sounds cool.”

Aunt May rolled her eyes. Agent May gave him a tiny smile. Peter took that as a yes.

“Cool. May Squared. I ship it, guys.”

Chapter Text

She really hated going to these things.

Her shoes were impractical as hell, stupid silver things with straps that crisscrossed all the way up her calves.

The actual dress wasn’t metallic this time, thank god, but the bright red frock Melinda was wearing made it hard to blend into the background.

Mack said he needed her there with him, Elena, and some of their recruits. Since Coulson was gone, hers was the only familiar face to the outside world since SHIELD’s rebirth eight months ago.

Half of the Avengers knew her by first name basis, and the other half knew of the legends surrounding her name, as both the Cavalry and the one who stood by Phil Coulson until he took his last breath. To them, she represented the old SHIELD, and they would trust her more easily than if Mack came alone.

Melinda could see past the bullshit and knew Mack was just trying to make her get out more. There was maybe some unspoken agreement between him and Coulson that wouldn’t allow her to shut down the way she did after Bahrain.

They weren’t that surprised to hear he’d survived Loki’s staff. Leaving out the more disturbing details, the Avengers had assumed that Phil’s death was somewhat of a ruse by Fury, who conveniently let his best man walk into a battle he knew he couldn’t win in effort to get them to fight.

They didn’t need to know the truth.

The Avengers were told that Phil’s second death, his real death, happened in a similar fashion, except this time, they won the fight. Just not without consequences.

“I don’t know why Stark bothers with these things anymore “, a voice next to her said. “Anyone who still wants to help us is either dead or a galaxy away.”

Melinda chuckled without humor at that, thinking of Daisy and Simmons and their so far fruitless search for Fitz in deep space. She looked up to find herself staring into the sad blue eyes of Steve Rogers.

“Yeah”, she said. An unexpected amount of air forced itself into her lungs, making it hard for her to say anything else without choking up.

She thought she’d been grieving well.

She cleaned Phil’s bunk, put what was left of his collectables in storage, and resumed command of a training unit. She’d even started doing Tai-Chi with YoYo.

But Captain America’s eyes were so blue, and Phil wasn’t here with her, and the only other person who could understand her grief was a galaxy away.

“Are you alright, Agent May?” It wasn’t until Steve Rogers asked her that question that Melinda realized that the loud, ugly sound that reverberated in her ears was the sound of her own choked sob.

Steve took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around her trembling shoulders. He slowly pulled Melinda into an embrace she’d have flinched away from five years ago.

She saw Mack glance warily at her from over Steve’s shoulder and felt a little self-satisfied in her grief. Serves him right for trying to drag her out of self-imposed isolation.

“Um, do you want to leave, Agent May? I could tell Stark to send a car to take you home or, whatever base – “

“Stop. Call me Melinda. And no, I don’t want to leave.”

She leans away from his shoulder and wipes her eyes. She doesn’t take off Steve’s jacket.

“You were what SHIELD was supposed to represent to him. He died twice for an organization that screwed us all over at every turn.”

Steve turned to her, shocked to hear her say that, and she scoffs and takes a long sip of the bourbon she’d nearly forgotten. Melinda looked back up at Steve with heartbroken eyes.

“But it mattered so much to him and I’m not”, she holds back a sob, “I’m not ready to let go. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be.”

Maybe if was easier to confide in Steve Rogers because he was Phil’s hero, or the chances of them meeting again were small, or perhaps the bourbon had had a bigger effect on her than she thought.

Maybe it was because Phil’s perception wasn’t real. It was a fairytale created after years of comics and memorabilia and card collecting.

Maybe it was because she knew a little something about being a legendary hero in a tale where all the not-so-legendary but scarily sad, beautiful shards of humanity laid untold of underneath. Because those parts of the story are too ugly for any child to see.

Maybe Steve Rogers just had really nice, tragic blue eyes.

Chapter Text

This was the third time she caught them this week.

The first time had been indirectly, when she just happened to be monitoring the CCTV from the parking garage when a suspicious movement caught her eye. She scanned the screen for a threat and audibly sighed when no such thing popped up.

Instead, Lance Hunter’s back was pinned on a black SUV while Bobbi Morse was squatted down, giving him a blowjob.

The second time they were bent over Mack’s construction table, Hunter pounding into Morse from behind and covering her mouth his hand. Apparently she was a screamer.

And now here they were again.

They’d finally upgraded – or, in Melinda’s opinion, downgraded, to fucking inside the vehicle this time. In her favorite van, no less.

They needed to be stopped.

Melinda opened the side door without warning and stared Bobbi and Hunter down.

“This is the third time this week,” Melinda said flatly.

Bobbi shifted uncomfortably on Hunter’s lap. Hunter smiled.

“Hello to you too, May. Would you like to join us?”

She raised an eyebrow and Bobbi gazed at her apologetically.

Bobbi smacked his arm. “Did you seriously just ask her that, Hunter? What the hell is wrong with you? That’s so disrespectful!”

Hunter gives her a so what shrug and looks again at Melinda. “Well…do you? I promise we won’t bite, angel…unless you’re into it.”

Hunter winks and Melinda finds herself growing hot. “Are you sure?”

Bobbi and Hunter both looked shocked, as if they weren’t expecting her to actually take him up on his offer.

“You…you really want to May?”

She nods, feeling embarrassed suddenly. It probably just a joke. She turns away hotly. “Nevermind.”

“Oh honey, wait!” a feminine voice calls out to her. She turns around and gazes into Bobbi’s eyes, still feeling hurt.

“We didn’t think you’d want to have sex with us, May”, Bobbi explains. “But we’d definitely like to. Climb in.”

Melinda blushed slightly and climbed inside the vehicle. Bobbi shifted into an empty seat and allowed Melinda to take her previous spot on Hunter’s lap.

“Apologies for hurting your feelings, sweetheart. We thought you were here to scold us, is all.” He rubbed circles across her back and placed a gentle kiss on her shoulders. Bobbi played with her hair.

“I was”, Melinda said.

Hunter slid his hands over her breasts and began unzipping her uniform. “Well, I’m glad that’s over.”

“Who said it was over?” To her side, she saw Bobbi smirk as Hunter squinted his eyes in confusion. She snorted.

“Did you really think having sex with me would stop me from telling you that using SHIELD resources like this is forbidden?”

“I was hoping for it, yeah.”

Hunter’s cocky attitude deflated some, but he never paused his slow exploration of her body, tweaking one of her exposed brown nipples absentmindedly.

Bobbi snickered. “You owe me five bucks babe.”

He pouted, and then smiled again as thought of another way to win his money back. “Five bucks says May is a screamer.”

“You’re on.” She turns to May. “You’re not a screamer are you, baby?”

“Nope. Never screamed during sex in my life.”

Hunter gropes her ass in a way that makes Melinda gasp.

“Well fret not, gorgeous. Turns out there’s a first time for everything.”

Chapter Text

As soon as Phill said, “There was one more thing on my bucket list that I really wanted to try,” Melinda was sure it’d be followed by a cheeky come-on about the sex they were sure to have later. But Phil surprised her by saying something totally different.

He curled his hand around her fingers, rubbing his thumb gently along the sides of her palm. He stared at the sunset before removing his sunglasses and gazing directly into Melinda’s eyes.

“We’ve wasted so much time, Melinda,” Phil began. Melinda looked down guiltily and Phil used his other hand to brush her cheek and steady her warm gaze back on him.

“It’s not our fault”, he continued softly. “We took an oath a long time ago to be the shield, and that’s exactly what we’ve been doing for the better part of thirty years. I’ve always been in love with you, Melinda. From the day we’ve met you’ve been my rock, my right hand, my partner…and my much sexier, kickass better half. You never gave up on us, Melinda, even when I made it hard for you to believe in me. You’ve been my partner in more ways than one and nothing will ever change that. But before I go, I just wanted to give you one last reminder.”

Melinda took a few steadying breaths before she spoke again, knowing where he was going. Her voice still came out breathy when she asked him, “Are you proposing to me, Phil?”

Phil was awestruck and for a moment Melinda was worried she stunned him into silence again when he let go of her hand and got on one knee. Tears came to her eyes before he even started to speak again.

“Yeah, May. I guess I am. I’m sorry I don’t have a ring or anything, but I bet I can buy one from someone on the island. I didn’t bring any money, though, and SHIELD’s technically been seized by the government, again, so I’m not sure how we’ll be able to work out a transfer of funds with the team. I can offer you my arm if you want – “

“Phil. I’ll marry you. But please stop talking.”

Phil didn’t move from his spot on the sand. “So that was yes on the proposal, no on the arm right?”

Melinda nodded, grinning wider than Phil had seen in years. “Yes. Yes!”

Melinda hauled Phil up and he gave her a dorky smile, not letting go of either one of her hands.

“Great”, he said cheerily, “that was starting to get uncomfortable.”

Melinda snorted and launched herself into Phil’s arms, and he carried her like that for the rest the walk to their cabin. He crossed the threshold of the cabin and sat down on the bed. Melinda was still draped over his arms, her small, sturdy hands gripped tightly around his neck.

She bit his earlobe and sighed. “So marrying me was the only thing on your bucket list, then?”

Phil smirked. “There was one more thing…”

Melinda licked her lips. “And what’s that, Coulson?”

Phil leaned forward and touched his lips to her collarbone. Melinda’s breath hitched. He parted her lips with a gentle kiss and nuzzled his chin against her jawline.

“Snorkeling.”

Chapter Text

They spent their honeymoon (and several hundred dollars on SHIELD’s seemingly endless dime) in Vegas.

Fury was not going to be pleased about that last part, especially since Melinda bailed on teaching a tactical fitness class to elope with the psychiatric consultant she’d met six months ago at an otherwise stuffy company mixer. Melinda had no doubt her and Nick were going to have words when they got back, if the seven missed calls she’d declined in the last three days were any indication.

They were at a jazz bar tonight, fingers entwined on the countertop as they listened to the live band. They savored their last day of freedom with a black label Merlot, curtesy of SHIELD.

Melinda’s white summer dress swayed softly around her legs. Andrew couldn’t take his eyes off Melinda as she listened to the music with a smile on her face. She looked peaceful and happy and Andrew wished to capture to moment forever. He took enough photos of Melinda to run out of film twice, and her beautiful face became an annoyed stare every time she caught him snapping pictures.

He would grin and tell her he couldn’t help it and she’d smile and forgive him.

He thought about snapping another photo when a greasy looking guy took a seat on Melinda’s other side. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

The man sucked his teeth and leered at Melinda. Andrew he ignored entirely.

“A pretty thing like you shouldn't be here all alone.”

Melinda snorted and looked up from her drink. The guy’s skin had a sickening yellow tint, and when he talked Melinda spotted several rotting teeth in his mouth. He looked like a meth head, and Melinda decided to trust her judgement and assume he was one.

She deliberately flexed her wrist to show the creep her wedding ring and gazed lovingly at Andrew. She turned back to the wretched man with a smirk.

“It’s a good thing I’m not alone then.”

The meth head sized Andrew up and sighed. “That’s a shame. I bet I could show you a better time than this guy. He looks boring.”

Melinda clenched her fist. Her hand started moving to shove his head on the counter and maybe under the heel of shoe when she felt Andrew’s gentle touch on her arm. “Honey,” he crooned into her ear.

“I already know what you’re gonna say, Drew. That I shouldn’t let this dumbass ruin our night and that we should focus on each other instead. Did I get that right?”

Andrew rubbed slow circles around her bare back and pressed Melinda to his chest. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat over the solid skin on his chest, his abs showing plainly on the cheesy Hawaiian shirt he’d left unbuttoned specifically because she told him to. He pressed a kiss to her collarbone and chuckled.

“Actually, I was going to suggest you wait til later to beat his ass in this club. Fury’s gonna have my head already, we should at least finish this bottle of expensive ass wine before he does.”

Melinda learned into Andrew’s arms. “It’s cute you think we’ll get kicked out of a Vegas bar for fighting, honey. Or that Nick will want your head instead of mine. But I guess I see your point.”

Melinda turned back to their harasser, who was clenching his fists in envy. Melinda smirked, knowing his punk ass couldn’t hurt her or her husband if he tried.

“If you leave right now I might just have mercy and leave the two teeth you do have in your mouth. If not,” she shrugged comfortably in Andrew’s arms, “I’ll show you how I normally treat people who disrespect me and those I love, without even messing up my outfit.”

Andrew pressed a kiss on Melinda’s lips.

“This is your chance to get out, man”, he said, an easygoing smile on his face. Only the small clench in his jaw betrayed his seriousness. “You really don’t want to see what my wife can do to people who piss her off.”

The meth head looked between them and turned pale.

“You guys are crazy, man.” He shook his head and got up from the bar, finally leaving the newlyweds to enjoy each other.

Melinda sighed and looked up at Andrew with pouty eyes. “I really wanted to beat his ass, Drew.”

He kissed her hair in sympathy. “I know, sweetheart. And I wanted to see it. But if you’d done that then we couldn’t do this.”

He kissed her again, taking her hand in his and rubbing his thumb over the large ring on her finger. She smiled devilishly at him and broke the kiss.

“We can always do that, babe”, Melinda purred seductively. The kissing and the music was so good, Andrew and Melinda almost forgot to drink the $4,000 Merlot down to its last drop. Almost.

Chapter Text

Melinda had never seen anything like this woman.

She was fast, faster than her, even, and she was very well trained. Her body was long and slender, and the outlines of her abs were visible through her semi-translucent training top.

Her lips were plump and full, and they sat below a wide nose with flaring nostrils and a set jaw.

Melinda knew that look, of defiant, relentless anger and determination, because it was often the same face she saw reflected in herself. A wide, shadowy set of eyes that held a spark of wildness to the trained eye under layers of laser sharp focus. Unusual silver lines above her cheekbones and brows that glittered as she fought with air, with nothing.

Oh, and her skin was green. Melinda thought it best to save that observation for last, lest she come off as judgmental.

“I hear you’re the fiercest woman on Earth,” Gamora said by way of greeting, not even looking up from her routine. Melinda tensed, knowing she’d been caught. She let out a breath and chuckled.

“A bit of an overstatement. I hear you’re the fiercest woman in the Galaxy.”

Gamora pauses her workout and walks up to Melinda, looking her dead in the eye. She smirks.

“Not an overstatement.”

They look each other over. Gamora speaks again, still smiling at her.

“So, do you plan to keep watching me all day, or did you want to join me?”

Melinda’s eyes spark with interest and she quirks her lips up in a smirk that matches Gamora’s.

“Are you ready for it?”

“You don’t know how ready I am to finally face an equal”, Gamora laughs. Gamora takes her hand and leads Melinda to the sparring mats.

“Ha, ha! You see that? Told you they’d go for it, Rocket. You owe me, buddy.”

Rocket growled. “All right Quill, fine, you win. I’ll get you your beer just as soon these ladies are finished.”

Peter squirmed uncomfortably. “Are you sure we should be watching? I mean, they would both literally kill us if they caught us.”

Rocket gave Peter a look designed to make him feel like a dufus.

“That’s why they don’t catch us, idiot.”

Groot nodded from behind Rocket’s shoulder and the three of them slinked further into the shadows.

The sounds of sparring and kissing inside the gym stopped.

“Leave or I will kill all of you,” Gamora’s voice demanded angrily.

“I am Groot?”

“No not you, sweetie.”

Groot smiled.

“But Peter and Rocket, you two need to get the hell out before we come over there and hurt you.”

Rocket opened his mouth for a smart retort before Peter thumped him on the head.

“Of course Gamora, Agent May, we’re so sorry. We’ll uh… yeah we’ll go now.”

Rocket snickered, muttering something about a “beta male” as he, Peter, and Groot, exited the gym.

Gamora gave Melinda an apologetic smirk. The ends of her burgundy colored hair tickled Melinda’s cheek as the other woman straddled her.

“Idiots, all of them. Now where were we?”

Melinda’s lips parted. “Something about finally meeting your match.”

“I don’t believe those were my exact words, May.”

“I paraphrased.”

“An understatement.”

Chapter Text

When May wakes up the walls around her are white and sterile.

It’s a bit funny, she supposes, that the calmness of her surroundings is what alerts Melinda that something has gone very, very wrong.

She’s learned to establish sort of a morbid sense of humor these days.

She rolls/ crawls out of the bed she wakes up in and slowly advances towards the door, which is just two white panels separated by a solid line. No doorknobs.

She’s in what functions as a bedroom, although the room is totally devoid of any personal features aside from the generic potted plant on the left nightstand. There’s not even an alarm clock.

There is, however, a small white remote with ten or so controls. Melinda decides to experiment.

She pushes the first button and right-side wall splits open, revealing a two-door closet. Only one outfit is hung up inside.

Melinda changes into the black slacks and shirt, and zips herself into a purple and black jacket. She thinks it may be a uniform of some sort.

She presses another button and the room’s doors slide open, revealing a kitchen suite and living room area. She notes the second pair of shoes in the closet before lacing up her boots and heading out.

**

Kelly was rather anxious today.

She had already talked to Ed about her plan to move in with Lt. Wang, and after a long hour of him essentially reciting the Orville’s security protocols and cohabiting with someone of lower rank than you, etc.., he decided to grant their request. She could finally share an apartment with her wife of two years.

Lydia was ecstatic when Kelly told her the news, but since last night her wife/lieutenant was nowhere to be found.

Ed assured her that she was probably running late, but Lydia was never late when reporting for duty (or anywhere else really) and it put Kelly even more on edge.

“Ah. There you are, Lieutenant.” Ed’s voice said moments later. “Someone was starting to get worried.”

He nudged Kelly’s shoulder. She glared at him in return.

But the Lieutenant did not move from her spot by the door. Instead she narrowed her eyes and crouched into a defensive position. When Lydia spoke her tone was sharp as ice.

“Where am I?”, she demanded. Ed blinked.

“You’re on the Orville, as we all are. Are you feeling alright, Lydia?”

“Who the fuck is Lydia?”

The room got silent.

Kelly turned in her chair, facing her wife with confused eyes. Lydia’s brown eyes were as confused as everyone felt right now, competing with the anger and fear Kelly saw on her slight features. Her eyes widened as soon as she saw Kelly’s face.

“Bobbi? W-where are we? Who is this guy? And why the hell does that girl in the corner have gills?”

Kelly gasped and got out of her seat.

She walked towards Lydia(?) slowly and spread her arms in surrender, subtly encouraging the rest of them to do the same.

“I have no idea who Bobbi is”, she responded honestly. “But I know this: your name is Lieutenant Lydia Wang and you’re the best pilot the Orville has ever had. My name is Commander Kelly Grayson and you and I…well….”

She holds up her left hand and smiles through teary eyes.

“You’re my wife.”

Chapter Text

Guarding a doctor shouldn’t have been this hard.

Then again, when you were up against a vengeful ghost lady after a satanic all-knowing book that could only be stopped by a flaming skull demon, the stakes were entirely different.

22 years at SHIELD and Melinda was still shocked by just how damn weird her job could get sometimes.

Melinda found the book responsible for this drama and had sent Phil packing with it. She sent the strike team with him too, thinking she could get Morrow out of there and face whatever threats left on her own.

She entered the abandoned lab with a cautious eye, both hands gripped tightly around her ICER. The only sound that could be heard was the muted sounds of her footsteps as her boots clacked across the concrete floor.

“Agent May?”

She lowers the gun as Eli Morrow comes out of the shadows, looking surprised to see her there.

“Dr. Morrow”, she greets curtly. “Lucy Bauer is still looking for you. We think she’s using you to build some kind of doomsday device. We need to get you out of here, now.”

“You mean that device?”

Morrow points to the strange chamber behind them. She nods.

 Morrow purses his lips. His expression is unreadable, even to Melinda, and she furrows her brows slightly at his lack of reaction to her news.

“Did you hear me, doctor? If Bauer powers up this device, it could potentially kill thousands of people! If you don’t want those deaths on your conscience, then you need to get the hell out of whatever trance you’re in and come with me now!”

“Do you have the book?”

Melinda blinked, surprised again by his flat tone. “N-no, I…” she trailed off just before stating the truth and narrowed her eyes at the mechanical engineer.

“Why?” Her fingers twitched and her hand gripped her ICER automatically.

Morrow debated with himself over something before pulling out his own gun – a real one – aiming it right between Melinda’s eyes.

“You’re a formidable woman, Agent May”, Morrow said.  “And quite a perceptive one. But I’m gonna need you to back away before someone gets hurt.”

Melinda’s eyes widened. “It was you,” she gasped. She pulled out her ICER and the two of them were trapped in a showdown. “All of it was you. You’re the one trying to play God. Why?”

She took a step closer to Morrow and narrowed her eyes. He kept the gun pointed at her but his stance was shaky. It was obvious to her that he didn’t have a ton experience with loaded firearms.

Morrow’s brows raised at her question and he actually chuckled, making Melinda flare her nostrils at him and advance another step.

“You of all people should know why, Agent May. A smart, capable woman of color like yourself should see how stifling it is to be in a field where no one takes you or your work seriously. I was smarter than anyone here, worked harder than those entitled pricks ever did, and after years of working beside them they all still treated me like the help! The Bauers see me as some egomaniac because I want to use my science to create things they lack the skill to even imagine.”

Melinda fought to keep her brows level throughout Morrow’s whole tirade.

The guy was out of his damn mind.

“It’s not even your science, Eli! You used a book to do your dirty work for you! And yeah, I know your story. I’ve had people underestimate me entire life, I’ve had to fight to get them to respect me. And sometimes they still don’t. But you know what never crossed my mind after all these years, not once? Building a doomsday device and becoming a supervillain! So if you’re looking for empathy from me I suggest you look elsewhere, Dr. Morrow. Because I think you sound like a fucking lunatic.”

He stepped closer to the controls on the machine and Melinda’s tone turned pleading.

“We can still help you, Eli. There are other ways to get what you want, playing God is not the solution.”

Morrow smirked. “You sound just like the Bauers”, he said. “Telling me what I can and can’t do. Acting like you understand. That you can help me. I don’t need SHIELD’s help, Melinda. Or yours. Now get out of here before you get killed by the blast, or worse.”

“Not gonna happen.”

She took a step closer to the mad scientist and prepared to knock him out with her ICER when he shoved her back and locked himself inside the chamber.

“Suit yourself, sweetheart. But know that I warned you.”

“No!” She banged her hand on the chamber window and tried to kick the door with her heel. No budge. Her pressed a button inside and the thing started to power up. It was going to blow at any second.

She took cover under a broken desk and prayed her team had made it out with the book. That was all that really mattered.

She was knocked over by the blast and when she got up, nothing looked different. For a second she thought Morrow’s experiment failed until he came out of the chamber, twirling a black substance in his hand with an evil gleam in his eye.

Melinda growled and launched herself at the man.

“Bastard!”, she screamed.

Except she fell hard on the ground when she should’ve been right on top of him. Melinda took another experimental swipe at the doctor and her eyes widened with horror when her arm went right through him. 

She was invisible. 

Chapter Text

Her mother used to tell her that a warrior’s heart was just as important as her armor.

Sif had thought it cliched and scoffed at her mother’s grand speeches of love even as a child. But Sif had come to realize, in time, that her mother was right, as they tended to be.

And who better to teach her this lesson than the beautiful Melinda May?

The great female warrior of SHIELD who had saved 100 men by sacrificing the deepest part of herself. By doing something none of her comrades had the strength to do not in the absence of her heart, but because of it. How lovely was the damaged soul that lay underneath her slight and delicate looking frame.

Her Melinda May was a marvel for her humanity, shining bright as a beacon of hope in a Midgardian world where the fantastic realities of the rest of the galaxy were nothing but myths and fairytales. Where Sif herself was a fairytale.

How fantastic was it, then, that the woman who aspired such a legendary aura on her home planet be nothing more than a human woman tiny even by Midguardian standards bringing men to their knees with nothing but a few simple twists of her body?

If Sif were more skeptical of Melinda’s fortitude she’d have guessed her a sorceress. But no. Melinda May was everything good in the universe all on her own.

And she was hers.

Chapter Text

Wynonna swung her fist out and connected with something solid.

She almost let out a whoop and cheered. 30 minutes of sparring and she hadn’t been able to land a solid hit on May, who was way too damn fast and adept for Wynonna to have a fighting chance. She grumbled to herself as she tried – usually in vain – to dodge an attack from May that always landed her flat on her back.

Wynonna’s premature celebration was cut short when she realized what it was her fist connected to.

She barely had time to see May smirk before she was lifted in the air by a single flick of the dark-haired woman’s wrist and tossed on her ass yet again. May climbed on top of Wynonna and straddled her waist, looking smug.

“Don’t look at me like that”, said May in response to Wynonna’s pouty glare. “I told you what would happen if we sparred and you insisted to try anyway. I’m surprised you lasted this long, to be honest.”

“Yeah well, we can’t all be ninjas. Besides,” Wynonna paused to gaze appreciatively at May’s chest, which was bare except for a sports bra, since Wynonna had dared her to workout without covering herself in a tank top that morning and May obliged, shocking Wynonna. She suspected that was the real goal here, among other things.  

A thin sheen of sweat glistened on May’s chest and Wynonna couldn’t help but stare. Powerful thighs kept her from squirming under May’s feathery weight and those, sadly, were clothed in stretchy black material to her shins.

“The view down here is spectacular.”

“Is it?”

“Mmhm.”

She placed her hands on May’s thighs and slowly began working her way towards her ass. Wynonna cups May’s ass and starts to pull down the material between her underwear when quick hands stop her and pin both her arms above her head. May leans down until her boobs are almost in Wynonna’s face and smiles.

“Shower first.”

Chapter Text

She was deep undercover in the middle of some backwater Canada town called Purgatory.

Don’t ask her why she’s here – she’s still trying to figure it out herself.

This sorry excuse of a town only had a single cell in the Sheriff’s station that seemed to only be used to house drunk men who caused a fuss in the pub overnight, or to stand as a timeout corner for those who attempted to cheat in the Sheriff’s nightly poker games.

Underneath the sleepy day-to-day routine of Purgatory was the scary stuff. Or so they said. The Black Badge Division was nothing but the poor man’s SHIELD, in Melinda’s humble opinion. And they did a pretty crappy job at fulfilling their purpose of protecting one small town from demons and various other supernatural threats. SHIELD wasn’t perfect, but they always contained threats, and their reach was now intergalactic.

Xavier already hated working for Black Badge. Being their science experiment. It wouldn’t be hard for Melinda to convince him to leave once it was time to pack this mission up.

He deserved better, and Melinda planned to give it to him.

That, and she was pretty damn tired of the two of them being the only non-white residents of Purgatory.

She shakes her head and continues packing up her things.

Dolls embraces her from behind and Melinda fights her instinct to attack and sinks herself into his warm embrace instead. She tilts her head up and greets him with a kiss.

“Hi,” Melinda says softly.

Dolls smiles back. “Hi love. You leaving somewhere?”

She nods. “This was just a mission. I’m loyal to SHEILD, Xavier.”

Dolls nods. They had already talked about this. He knew Melinda had to go back, he’d just thought they’d have a little more time together before she left.

“I want you to come with me.”

Dolls looks down at Melinda’s pretty brown eyes in confusion.

“To SHIELD?”

She nods.

“Hmm. Xavier Dolls…Agent of SHIELD. I think I like that.” Dolls tastes the words on his tongue and smiles.

“When do we leave?”

“Right now. I sent our coordinates out yesterday, a quinjet should be here to retrieve us at any second. And when Davis gets here, I’m kicking his ass out of my chair and flying us to base myself. I think you’re really going to like SHIELD, Xavier.”

Dolls brushed his knuckles along her cheek and they smiled at each other.

“As long as I get to be your copilot, I’ll be fine.”

Chapter Text

When Tony Stark entered SHIELD’s headquarters at the Triskelion, agents parted like the Red Sea to let him pass.

He planned to charm the receptionist into leading him to Fury’s office, but one mention of the Director’s name and the girl paled and shook her head. She explained that Fury had to buzz in every guest who wished to see him through a direct line in his office.

And his name was on the top of the Do Not Call list.

Tony sighed and tried the next best thing. Ten minutes later he was seated in front of a glaring Maria Hill.

“You know,” she began, unbuttoning her blazer and sliding wearily into her leather chair. “When you do these things, these…Tony Stark-like things, I have to deal with Fury’s moods for the rest of the day.”

“Oh?” Tony raised his brows. “And what, does he um, does he furrow his brows, sorry brow, a teeny bit deeper during these moods? Does his blank look take on a different shade of blankness when he’s mad? Because if so,” he shook his head in mock sympathy. “I don’t know how you deal with it, Agent Hill. I mean God, that just sounds miserable.”

She narrowed her eyes at him from above the rim of her coffee cup. “What are you doing here Stark?”

“Actually I come bearing gifts. But not for you.” He plopped the SHIELD badge on her desk. “One of your agents left this at my penthouse during one of SHIELD’s standard totally non-invasive checkout procedures. Figured she might need it back.”

He saw Hill’s interest pique at the mention of a she, and her eyes widened in shock when she read the name inside. Hill set the badge down and schooled her expression.

“Thanks Tony. I’ll give this back to May the next time I see her.”

Tony shifted in his seat. “Actually I wanted to give it back to her in person.”

Hill’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why?”

He shrugged. “Seems like that badge is pretty important. And I think your girl May may have left it on purpose.”

Hill’s glower deepened for a moment before she lifted a brow in amusement. “You think May left her badge for you on purpose? God, Tony. I needed a laugh today, actually, thank you for that.”

Tony gave her a disbelieving look. “I’ve known May for five minutes. You’ve clearly known her a lot longer. Do you think she’s the kind of woman that does anything by accident? Because despite the fact that I have met this woman exactly one time I have the surest feeling that the answer to that question is no. She’s here today, right? Where’s her office?”

Hill pursed her lips for a moment. She debated with herself briefly and then sighed.

“Melinda doesn’t get a lot of visitors,” Hill said quietly. Something in her tone shifted. Something sad. She shot Tony a wistful look. “She prefers it that way. She…” Hill stopped herself from speaking and trailed a hand across her face. She lands her eyes back on Tony, doubt and something that looked like hope flickering on her gaze.

“She’s this way.”

**

Hill led him down a darkened corridor and two flights of stairs to a solitary office underneath the compound. Tony normally would have had a joke ready to loosen the tension in the air, but when he opened his mouth it was dry.

Maria once more looked at him with suspicion. “Don’t break her heart Tony,” she warned him. “I’m not sure how much pain she can take anymore. I’d like to never find out.”

Tony nodded earnestly. He had no idea what he was walking into. The woman that seemed untouchable to him yesterday now sounded so delicate.

He pushed open the door and looked around. He’d almost thought that Hill had led him to an empty storage room when he saw her.

A dark-haired head was barely visible above the large tower of papers and manila folders stacked around her body like a fortress.

She didn’t look up, even though Tony knew she felt his presence.

“How you get in here, Mr. Stark? This room is for authorized SHIELD personnel only.”

If her clutter was the castle then her voice was the moat, cutting soft and icy through the room’s steady silence.

Well Tony Stark had his armor forged in iron. And while he doubted he could ever become a model knight, he at least wanted to try to get past the icy exterior of the princess before him.

“Melinda Q May?”, he said her name just to observe her response, knowing already that he’d found the right woman. When her head quirked up in response he smiled at her and continued.

“You left this at my place yesterday, Agent. Thought you might want it back.”

She nodded silently and it felt like a brush-off, so Tony kept talking.

“What’s the Q stand for by the way?” He walked up to her desk and held the badge up to his face, twisting it so he could read the small print on the bottom. A small hand reached up and snatched it out of his fingertips. When he looked down at Melinda May her chocolate brown eyes were staring him indignantly in the face.

“It’s Chinese. You wouldn’t be able to pronounce it anyway”, she replied with just a touch of smugness.

He beamed and took a seat on the corner of her desk, shifting some papers and earning him another glare. “I’m a worldly man, honey. Try me.”

She didn’t kick him out, much to his surprise, but she did threaten to kick him in the ribs if he called her honey again. She didn’t take too kindly to sweetheart either.

His armor was rusty and her moat was deep and dangerous, but in time, Tony thought, they would make a great team. He wondered absently how much he would have to pay Agent Coulson to make sure he stayed on sick leave for the rest of the year.

Chapter Text

She didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Though to be fair, she’d had her hands full trying to rebuild SHIELD and the broken fragments of her team.

But Natasha?

Fuck. And what could she even say? They hadn’t been in contact with each other for years.

They saw each other only once after SHIELD fell, days later, just checking in. They made sure that the other was okay for a few hours and went on with their separate work. Something similar happened after The Snap.

Nat called this time, sounding oddly more open and hopeful despite the circumstances, and they chatted for a good fifteen minutes before parting ways once more.

 If this was anyone but Nat and she was anyone but May, this friendship would’ve seemed lacking. And to an unpolished eye it did.

But they were each other’s last safe house. The world was safer because of Nat’s sacrifice and Melinda honored that.

Still, she couldn’t help the cold emptiness that threatened to pierce her heart when she scrolled past those three little letters programmed in her contacts: NAT.

She didn’t normally consider herself a coward, but reading that name over and over while Mack still projected holograms of Phil in his office was…even she had a grief limit.

She deleted the contact without remorse.

Clint didn’t come to the base (she knew he knew where it was, despite their location being hidden for security reasons) and she wasn’t hurt or surprised. She was surprised he even pulled himself out of his grief enough to have her on his mind and call her with the news before she read it online somewhere, and for that was grateful.

Out of everyone Melinda May has lost, at least recently, she has always gotten a chance to say goodbye, whether she ultimately decided to take it or not.

She didn’t get to say goodbye this time, through nobody’s fault but that headless bastard’s.

But she wishes she could have. Dammit, she wishes she could have.

Chapter Text

Elijah marveled at her sleeping form.

Melinda was not usually a peaceful sleeper, as they both had enough bad memories to keep them awake at night. When he would dream of his father raining down fiery hell against him and his siblings, and other scares such as the many atrocities he himself has committed, he would wake up gasping for air. She didn’t touch him; she simply waited calmly by his side until his breathing slowed, her eyes never breaking contact with his.

Her nightmares caused her to be deathly still. Elijah heard in painstaking detail how her heartbeat would slow, and her breathing barely audible even with his vampire hearing. Her face would break into a cold sweat and her acute facial features would knot up in terror. She liked to be touched, then.

Elijah would rub circles around her shoulders and smooth her hair from her brow with his fingertips. He pulled her close against his waist and murmured in her ear until she would wake.

“Calm now sweetheart. You’re awake. You’re safe.” He kissed her collarbone. He touched her everywhere except her hands, knowing that would trigger more unwanted flashes of a demented little girl begging for her pain. Melinda stirred.

“She wants my pain…”, Melinda whimpered. Elijah curled her small body against his.

“No Melinda. You’re dreaming, my darling. I need you to wake up.”

Her eyes flit open and after a few moments her breaths returned to normal. He didn’t say anymore as they looked up at the ceiling locked in each other’s arms.

Chapter Text

Gina imagined they were quite the sight.

Well, she didn’t really have to imagine, since her followers told her so as she livestreamed the whole thing.

Rosa and May rode the streets of Brooklyn on their Harleys like the badass biker chicks they are. The two of them thought they were racing against each other. Gina’s electric JUMP scooter whizzed by them both.

(She had a cousin who knew certain things. Let’s leave it at that.)

When they crossed the finish line (an alleyway by the precinct that was “closed for police investigation”; not technically a lie, as seeing who was the fastest and most badass between Detective’s May and Diaz was a very important police matter) she threw her helmet down and did a celebratory cabbage patch.

Rosa and May were not pleased.

“What did you do Gina”, Rosa growled when her and May crossed the line at the exact same time. “There is no way in hell you beat the both of us in that thing.”

“What can I say, Rosa”, Gina waved her hands you-cant-see-me style. “I’m just that good.”

“You cheated.”

“You can’t prove that.”

Rosa narrowed her eyes. “May, what do you think?”

May just shook her head and left.

“See? May hates you. You’re a cheater.”

“I can’t help it if my success makes others uncomfortable, Rosa.”

Rosa raised a brow. “You really want May mad at you? She does all your paperwork.”

“Shit,” Gina sighed. She crossed her arms. “I really should’ve thought this through. Time to grovel and beg for her forgiveness.”

Rosa makes a face. “That won’t work on May. I know something better.”

**

The next morning, May walks into the station looking angry (not unusual) and confused (very unusual). She corners Gina at her desk.

“Gina why the hell is there a scooter in my parking space?”

Gina folded her hands across her lap and smiles. “A gift from me to you, Melinda. I felt bad for beating the crap out of you and Rosa yesterday and I thought: why not share my gift with the most awesome half of two of the women I love most. I also did my own paperwork for the first time since November, as an additional present.”

May’s brows lift in surprise and Gina nods. “Yep. You’re welcome, honey.” Melinda rolls her eyes but Gina absolutely swears she sees the ghost of a smile flicker across her face.

“Thank you for finally doing your own paperwork Gina”, May says dryly. She heads over to her desk and shares a secret smirk with Diaz.

Throwing the race worked like a charm, just as they had imagined.

Chapter Text

M’Baku, leader of the Jabari tribe, normally considered himself an unflappable man. When the impossible showed itself before him he responded with indifference. When his patience was tried he responded with humor. His new bride, Melinda Qiaolian May, co-leader of both the new and old factions of SHIELD and new resident of Wakanda, always left him stumped.

Melinda admired the King’s Dora Milaje warriors so much that her first act as Jabari Lady in Chief was to establish a female division of Jabarian warriors.

His people loved it.

She led them in training early each morning and taught them a bizarre series of exercises that she named Thai Chi. They loved that too.

And at night, when her team of warriors was done for the day and he retired from the throne room, she would crawl into his lap and shrink her very tiny form into M’Baku’s arms.

He stroked the shiny strands of her hair with a large hand, his thick fingers brushing along the side of her cheek. She purrs and leans into his touch like a demure kitten instead of the fiery bobcat that she was to all who didn’t know her.

“I see my little kitten has finally put her claws down tonight,” he would say. Melinda sighed against his chest.

“This kitten would be very unhappy if you made me bring them out again.”

Cats and dogs famously did not get along, but M’baku decided early on that it would be a very bad idea to pick a fight with this ferocious little kitten. And as long as she was purring, he wouldn’t have to worry.

Chapter Text

“Just try not to get too drunk Jess, okay? We still have to crack the case on this IGH thing and you’re a lot less focused when you’re hungover.”

There was a pause on the other line and Trish added dryly, “Granted, I’m usually the one doing all the work anyway, but at least when you’re only mid level drunk you actually try to be helpful.”

Jessica rolled her eyes as she turned the corner of the block, drawing closer to her usual destination: the dimly lit, barely crowded bar on H street.

“Yeah, OK Mother Hen, I got it. Don’t get too shitfaced to the point where I can’t even remember my quest to research the hidden depths of my origin story. Anything else?”

Jessica hears Trish pause and knows that she is tying not to smile.

“Don’t start a bar fight.”

She smirks. The entrance of the bar is in view.

“No promises on that one. Love you, Trish.”

“Love you Jess.”

She hung up the phone and went inside. Jessica goes straight to the counter and orders herself a shot of cheap, disgusting whiskey. A dark haired woman is seated to her side, minding her own glass of (much nicer) whiskey and engaging with no one around her.

Jessica smiled to herself. It seemed she finally in the company of someone who understood the importance of solitude. Not a lot of those people in New York.

They sit there for hours. The only thing that changes is the refilling liquid in their glasses and the position of the sun from the window.

The woman gets up once to use the bathroom. And then she is back, another glass in her hand, tequila this time, and staring serenely at the tiled wall in front of them.

Its time for Jessica to pay her tab and she realizes blandly that she may have (purposely) forgot her debit card. Oops. The woman next to her soundlessly offers to pay for her and shockingly isn’t deterred by Jessica’s glower once she registered what was going on.

 She stares boldly back into Jessica’s eyes in a silent challenge. Jessica absently admires how pretty this woman’s eyes are. They were very…symmetrical…and deep. Uncomfortably analytical and a tad too understanding.

“No.”

The woman furrows her brows and irritation starts to creep into her face. Its messy and impatient and there is nothing pitying about it. Just a no nonsense woman wondering why a drunk was wasting everyone’s time at the bar by not having her shit together.

She speaks for the first time. Her voice is as feminine and commanding as the rest of her is.

“How did you expect to –“

Jessica cuts off her smooth, melodic, forceful voice with her own, paper thin and sharp as nails.

“I had a plan, ok. I was gonna drink and – and…”

“ And what? Start a bar fight?”

She balked. This woman held up one perfectly arched brow and Jessica leaned back in her stool. Looks like she was disappointing Trish tonight. What else was new.

“Eh, why not.”

The woman smiled as if that was the answer she wanted to hear all along and it made Jessica curious. She downed the nearly full glass on the counter and threw it at some guy’s head.

For her part, Jessica scared of the man and his friends by tossing a bar stool in their direction. She picked up a bottle from the bar and drank it down with her left hand while her right tossed the pissed off bartender into some biker dudes at the pool table.

The whole bar was thrown into chaos after that. The woman lifted her brows at her indicating that if Jessica wanted to skip her tab and run out, now was her time. She brushed the sweat glistened strands of hair out of her eyes and shook her head.

“Hell no. I think we’re just getting started.”

Chapter Text

Rage wasn’t an uncommon feeling for Melinda May.

Every day for years she had learned to live with the rage of seeing Katya, a little girl with a mind warped by powers she couldn’t understand. (or maybe a twisted mind that understand her actions too well; Melinda never liked going over the details. It always left her feeling sick to her stomach no matter what) Three dozen bodies scattered around an empty Barainian compound. A hundred more possible casualties if she didn’t take action how she did, when she did.

Rage at what happened in the Battle of New York, knowing that her cowardice and reluctance to join Coulson in the field was probably (definitely) what cost him his life that day.

Rage at Ward, Garrett, Cal, Jiaying, HYDRA, Hive, AIDA, the Kree, Thanos, and whatever other monsters that threatened the safety of the world she had vowed to protect almost three decades ago.

And wasn’t she just doing a bang up job.

Melinda May was angry almost all the time, but instead of unleashing a monster against the world she kept her demons deep within.

Bruce Banner was angry almost all the time, but he didn’t have the option to kill himself from the inside in order to shield the world from his incessant anger.

There was no hiding when the slightest provocation turned you into a 20 foot green monster.

Melinda May was angry almost all time, and she couldn’t stop hurting inside because that meant hurting others.

The Avengers craved the power of the Hulk, but they shied away from Dr. Banner.

It hurt, and it made him angry, but Bruce Banner was becoming quite skilled at concealing his feelings.

Chapter Text

Maria slammed her tray down on the table. “John Garrett is such an ass!”

Melinda smirked and set down her plastic fork as her friend took a seat across from her.

“What he do this time?”

She took a sip of her energy drink and listened as Maria launched into a rant about Garrett’s behavior. Apparently he tried to hit on her during her Coms class, and when Maria told him she was gay, he just grinned and told her that one night with him would make her change her mind.

“Can you believe that bastard?! I swear to God that man thinks he’s god’s gift to humanity. I don’t like to question our superiors but I wonder what the hell Director Carter was thinking when she let his chauvinist ass in.”

“I heard it was Commissioner Pierce that accepted him”, Melinda supplied. She wasn’t offended or surprised by the latest round of garbage that found its way out of Garrett’s mouth. He was Coulson’s first year roommate and she had two Special Ops classes with him, and he seemed intent on needling anyone within a five mile radius of his presence. Especially the females.

That meant he was getting his ass kicked quite often.

But he wasn’t letting it slow him down.

Melinda bit her lip. “I think I know a way to get him back.”

Maria narrowed her eyes at her friend. “No. No way.” Melinda pouted and Maria interrupted her before she could start pleading. “Your plans always end with someone getting suspended, Mel. Besides, you’re still on thin ice from the last one, remember?”

“Fury overreacted”, she answered matter of factly..

“You put talcum powder in his favorite jacket!”

Melinda smirked, then let it fall when Maria glared at her disapprovingly. She still thought Agent Fury had overreacted. Besides, it was pretty funny watching him try to look stern with a jacket full of itching powder. She sighed.

“Look, do you want John off your back or not? Because I have a way to make sure he gets the message. It involves us making out.”

Maria straightened up in her seat and raised a brow at Melinda, who smiled to herself. She knew that would get Hill’s attention. She leaned over in her seat and the two of them started plotting.

**

Maria lingered outside the door of her coms class the following afternoon. This was the most crucial part of the plan. It was also the hardest, because it meant having a conversation with Garrett that didn’t include threatening to throw him off a hellicarrier.

“Hey Hill.” He greeted her a smirk and she smiled back.

“Hi Garrett. I was thinking about what you said earlier and well…maybe you’re right.” She made a show of twirling her short brown locks like an idiot. “Meet me at my bunk at 7.”

Garrett fell for her lies hook, line, and sinker and came barreling down her hallway at 6:45.

Maria and Melinda giggled as they sat on her bed. Melinda nodded once and they started kissing loudly, groaning and laughing as they made out on the bed.

“Remind me why this part had to happen” Maria whispered in between kisses. They could have skipped the makeout session altogether or fake the noises as Garrett stood outside, but that wasn’t what Melinda had in mind.

She knew Maria would agree to this part of the plan. And getting to kiss one of her best friends didn’t hurt. She made sure her and Maria looked properly disheveled as she stood up to leave. And according to plan, Garrett was right outside the door, ear practically glued to the action Maria was getting inside.

His eyes widened when he saw her.

“Oh, hey Garrett,” Melinda said nonchalantly. She straightened her top. “Maria said you can come in.”

“I didn’t know you were into chicks, May.” The cheeky grin was back. “I wish Hill told me earlier, we could have made it a threeway.”

She made a disgusted face. “I think not.”

She brushed past him and on cue he turned to look at the writing on her arm. “The hell is that?” She held her arm out to him and smiled. “It’s my new tattoo. Check it out.”

The writing on her arm was clear as day. It was temporary tattoo that read in blocky letters: Property of Maria Hill.

Garrett squinted his eyes in confusion as Melinda walked off to her dorm. He pushed himself inside Hill’s room without knocking and was greeted with a dismissive stare. The joke he was about to make ran cold as he processed her abrupt change in attitude.

“Yes?”

“Uh…so you and May, huh? That’s new. I get you wanna stake your property Maria, but branding the girl’s a bit much, don’t you think? I mean if it were me – “

“What do want, John? Haven’t I already told you I’m not interested in men?”

He gawked at her. “Well you sure as hell seemed interested earlier”, he huffed angrily. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “This better not be another one of May’s little plots. I’ll report her tiny ass to Fury so fast, I swear to God – “

“Get out of my room John," Maria’s voice was icy and dangerous. Garrett left her room feeling angry and dejected. He flicked on the lights to his dorm and he wanted to throw something. All along the walls someone (May) had covered his side of the room head to toe with posters saying No does NOT mean try harder and Lesbians: Not here for men’s enjoyment.

They were also found in the men’s locker room.

Every third year recruit had to undergo mandatory consent training for a week after that.

Someone was suspended as a result of this prank, and even given a one-on-one talking to from Director Carter herself. But that someone was neither Maria Hill nor Melinda May.

Chapter Text

Damn. Agent May could get it.

I mean, Trip already knew she was attractive. Even when she was dressed in a simple black tshirt and her signature tight pants, or a black tank and leggings while she worked out with Skye (she oughta wear sleeveless tops more often. Covering arms like that in a uniform all day was just a crying shame) May was a vision on the worst of days.

But on the best of days…on days like today, where Coulson could convince her to abandon her eagle vest for a shimmering dress that wrapped snugly around her fit little frame…man oh man.

The kids might have been uncomfortable with May’s undercover flirtation, but not Trip. Trip cheered her on from inside the Bus, where she couldn’t even hear. And then he sees her back on base later that night, wearing nothing but fancy purple lingerie and a triumphant smirk.

Damn. Agent May could get it.

Chapter Text

“This is stupid” May growled.

“Melinda, Kant is never stupid. In his teachings – “

“I don’t give a dang about his teachings. Electric stovetops didn’t exist in the eighteenth century and they do now. So does Postmates. Forgot I can’t say dang. Dang this place is stupid.”

Chidi sighed. “Last night you burned water, Melinda. WATER.”

She shot him a dirty look that he just barely didn’t flinch from. “The box said bring the water to a boil.”

“After you add the spaghetti!!”

She glowered deeply at the stove. “They should’ve made that clearer.”

The look on her face was quite adorable, to be honest. Chidi had heard stories about the great Melinda May when he was alive and here she was, bested by spaghetti.

Oh yeah, and she was also his soulmate.

The only drawback (besides her obvious lack in cooking skills) were her volatile moods. Upsetting Melinda was a very dangerous game and Chidi Anagonye valued his private parts too much to be anything less than patient with her.

“It’s just a hard boiled egg, Melinda. You can do it. I know you can.”

The smoke detector started beeping and Melinda dove under the sink for the extinguisher. Chidi clutched his chest.

“On second thought…maybe we should just get frozen yogurt.”

Chapter Text

Melinda May was jogging along the sidewalk when she saw it.

The sky changed from sunny blue to thunderous gray in a heartbeat.

Frowning, she pulled out her phone and checked the weather. Her app reported sunny skies for the next 10 days and a warm temperature. She squinted back up at the darkened sky.

Her eyes widened as thunder cracked in the distance.

Melinda reattached her phone to her fitband and jogged briskly in the other direction, towards her house.

She was crossing the street to her neighborhood when she saw a woman perched on a picnic table.

If today was a regular day, Melinda wouldn’t have thought this was unusual, but the sky was ten seconds away from an outright downpour and this woman didn’t seem to mind the least.

She also had a striking appearance of white hair that starkly contrasted with her dark brown skin. She sat casually on top of the table looking peeved and Melinda couldn’t help it when her curiosity was piqued.

“Hey”, she jogged up to the stranger. Her tone was conversational. “Looks like there’s a storm headed our way. You should get somewhere safe.”

The woman raised her head in confusion and stared at the sky. An odd look of embarrassment crossed her ethereal features and she took a few breaths.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized earnestly. “I get a little carried away sometimes.”

Melinda blinked at the woman in confusion and tried to figure out what in the world she was talking about. Just as the odd stranger apologized the static in the air seemed to loosen up. Melinda looked up in awe and bewilderment as the blackness above her disappeared and was replaced again by the sun.

It was like nothing even happened.

She gaped at the sky. Her eyes landed slowly on the woman in front of her, who still sat casually on the table.

“I really am sorry about ruining your workout. I brought the sun back just so you can finish.”

“Th-thank you,” Melinda sputtered. “I…” she trailed off and the powerful woman raised a brow. “I’m…my name is Melinda. You should call me.”

The woman chuckled and smiled brightly at her with piercing eyes that were the same color white as her hair. Her breath hitched when they brought their hands together for a shake.

“My name is Ororo Monroe, but I am called Storm. I would love to call you, Melinda. Just as long as you don’t call for a rain check.”

Melinda’s eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Even if I did, you could clear the skies and change my mind.”

Ororo laughed and winked. “I will always clear the skies for you, Melinda.”

Chapter Text

Jefferson was being followed.

She was at least a foot shorter than him and nimble. Quick on her feet. Soundless in the night, her tiny form dressed in all black like a shadow.

He clears his throat and uses a transmitter to disguise his voice as Black Lighting.

“You can come out now.”

Its not a threat, its an invitation. Superpowers or no, he wouldn’t dare threaten her.

She’d still kick his ass to Sunday.

She eases from the shadows and her piercing brown eyes scan him hungrily. He laughs.

“You wanna play, don’t you.”

She smiles like a Cheshire cat. Her hair is as black as the night, as the rich taste of coffee, as his moniker.

He is wearing a suit but not the suit and when he steps closer to her, she all but shivers in anticipation. She runs her delicate hands up and down his chest and those dark eyes fill with lust at the sight of him.

“Your place or mine?”

She gave him a look. He kisses her hand.

“Yours it is.”

Her place is against the alley wall, quick and rough and tender.

She doesn’t kiss him goodbye.

He knows she’ll be back.

If he’s gotta create a storm for her to chase than so be it.

He’s never been afraid of a little lightning.

Chapter Text

“You look familiar.”

Melinda hadn’t meant to say the words out loud but in her drugged up haze they tumbled out of her lips, anyway.

She fiddled with the IV in her nose and glared when the doctor gently but firmly swatted her hands away.

“I’m sorry, Agent May, but you need to stay away from these IV’s. You remember why you’re here, don’t you?”

She nodded.

Some idiot lab tech had left the door to one of the pod doors open and a pod kid came out and went berserk on everyone in the lab. She had to act fast and shoot them with a neutralizing dart before they could hurt anymore of her colleagues.

But not before she had two of her ribs telepathically fractured from inside her body.

Now she was in the hospital wing, being tended to by the pretty doctor in charge of the program whose name was just past her tongue.

“It’s Weaver, right? Dr. Weaver?”

Melinda knew her voice sounded half delirious and to be honest, she was pretty far gone, but somehow that name just seemed right.

“No”, the doctor answered, her kind smile politely hiding her confusion. “Dr. Stewart.”

“Oh.”

Melinda fell back into her sheet. She glowered at her uncomfortable hospital gown, wondering when and how the hell someone forced it on her and wishing the stupid thing and all these tubes would get off her. She took a breath and sighed.

“Sorry, I…I’m not concussed, I promise. Just a little disoriented.”

Dr. W…Stewart smiled at her again and though still concerned, seemed to believe her and went back to checking Melinda’s vitals on her tablet.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve told Agent Odell a million times to update our systems so that the kids can’t be tampered with so easily, but all he and Doctor Jace seem to care about are their shady experiments. You didn’t deserve to get caught in the crossfire.”

 “It’s not about what I deserved, Dr. Stewart”, Melinda said matter of factly. She sat up straighter in her bed.

“There was a dangerous situation and someone had to act, before things got worse for all of us.”

Dr. Stewart’s brows raised in awe then lowered in confusion. “But that person didn’t need to be you, Melinda. We have security that could have handled it.”

Why would a biologist throw herself in the line of fire to defend everyone against a supernatural threat? Why was she treating this whole thing like it was nothing?

Like she was meant to protect everyone?

Melinda looked directly into Lynn’s eyes and shook her head. “They would have made things worse. Some of those kids may be dangerous but they don’t deserve to be there and they sure as hell don’t deserve to be executed over something they can’t control.”

Dr. Stewart was looking at her with an unreadable kind of intensity and Melinda shifted in her hospital bed.

“People were in danger”, she whispered, staring at her hands. “And I was right there. If a few fractured ribs were the price for saving everyone in that lab, I’d pay it every time.”

“I hope you don’t.”

Lynn’s reply was just as quiet. And earnest.

The two of them shared an intense look that felt way too intimate for work colleagues/ almost strangers before a flush washed over and they both looked away.

Lynn gathered up her things and was prepared to leave the room before Agent May cleared her throat. Lynn turned.

“Thank you, for putting up with me, Dr. Stewart. I hate hospitals and I know I’m a pain in the ass when I’m injured so…thanks.”

Lynn smiled warmly at her and barely resisted the urge to lay a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve realized that”, she answered without malice. In fact, her eyes were amused. “But I hope you don’t make a habit of doing this, Agent May, for your sake. You’re too good in the field.”

Melinda looked down shyly before peering boldly into Dr. Stewart’s eyes.

“Honestly, Doctor, if I get to see you more often then it may just be worth it.”

Chapter Text

The last remaining Valkyrie, named Bruunhilde but informally called Valkyrie, sat perched between the muscular legs of Lady Sif. Thor’s new companion and his forgotten one grew close as the prince disappeared once more, chasing the bottom of a bottle with more determination than Valkyrie ever has on Midgard.

“Let’s go to Midgard.”

Sif raised one of her immaculate brows and chuckled lowly. “And do what, my Bruunhilde? Visit Thor?”

“No,” Val sighed. “The new king must deal with his problems on his own. I grow tired of space, Sif. Don’t you wish to see Midgard?”

“I have already been, my love. More than once, actually.” Val didn’t comment, so Sif continued. 

“Though when I was there, it wasn’t for any pleasurable business. Perhaps I would like to go back”, she murmured. “I have some friends in Midgard that I have not seen in awhile…”

**

Melinda didn’t know how she ended up in a bar in LA with Lady Sif and her new Asgardian friend, Val (or Bruunhilde? She introduced herself as Val, but Sif referred to her almost exclusively by the former.) But she was a little exited to see her dark-haired Amazon friend again after so long. Meeting two Asgardians for drinks was probably the most normal thing she’s done all week.

Sif looked as powerful as ever, if a little less confident. Val had confidence in spades, though, and Melinda was attracted to her instantly. She didn’t have the stifling formality that most other Asgardians did, but she held her head high and shook her hand with a firm squeeze.

Melinda smirked and squeezed back. 

‘Welcome to Midgard, Val. Sif,” she regarded the other woman warmly. “Welcome back.”

Sif smiled. “Hello Melinda. I hope you’ve been well.” 

She shrugged. “I’ve been well enough. I hope we don’t have another intergalactic crisis on our hands, though. I’m fucking tired of space.”

“Us too”, Val laughed, goodnaturedly. She was instantly taken to Melinda as well. “Midgard will be a nice and quiet vacation for us, I think.”

Sif and Melinda exchanged a look and Val laughed again. “Or, maybe not. But…that sign over there says it is happy hour, and though I’m not clear on every term from this planet, I know that that one at least says we’ll have a very good time.”

Melinda smirked and raised her beer to the tip of her lips. “Ah yes,” Sif said, reading the sign over herself. “Good times guaranteed, at least until 11:30.”

They clinked their beers together and Val predictably drained her bottle in one swallow. Nowhere near satiable, she eyed her two companions.

“What’s 11:30?”

Chapter Text

The interrogation room looks like something out of Beyond Scared Straight.

A single overhead lamp, one-way mirror that she knows no one outside is looking into, grey exterior…it’s all a bit cliché, if you ask her. She kicks her feet up on Hale’s unoccupied chair because really, what goons would be stupid enough to leave her feet untied, and stares at the ceiling.

She absently wonders which base is greyer: HYDRA’s secret military base, or the Lighthouse.

God, she hates the Lighthouse.

Do you know how much it sucks to escape a post- apocalyptic alien fascist state only to be greeted by the same scenery back home? She cursed that damn robot for the fifth time this hour for blowing up the Playground.

Hale enters the room. Melinda stretches her feet. Hale looks down at her legs and Melinda has a fun time watching her face go from smug to furious as she glowers at her henchmen.

“Why the hell aren’t her ankles tied to the chair?”

One squirms. The other looks away.

“Ma’am – ?”

“Just do it!”

The chastised HYDRA agent ducks under the table and starts trying to locate Melinda’s legs. Their found a second later, wrapped tight around his throat. She squeezes her ankles and thrusts his head underneath the table.

A toe connects with his nose for dramatic effect.

Groaning and grunting, the HYDRA agent crawls from under the table with a simpering look of defeat on his face. He looks at his boss for instructions.

Hale smiles. “And that, soldier, is why you should’ve tied her ankles. Dismissed.”

He stumbles out of the room and his partner trails behind, whether in fear or to help his buddy set his broken nose, Melinda gives no fucks either way. She stares up at Hale with tired eyes and waits.

“That was quite a show, Melinda.”

Hale surprised her. This was not the villain monologue she expected to hear right out the gate.

“I’m starting to think you left me untied on purpose, General. You don’t seem too bothered by your stooge getting hit.”

Hale shrugged. “He didn’t follow proper lockup protocol,” she said. “He had it coming.”

Melinda snorted. “For being a Nazi or for leaving me loose?”

“You’re awfully chatty today, Agent May. Or did I catch you on a good day?”

Melinda leaned back, suddenly bored of the conversation. “What do you want, Hale? A kiss?”

“To save the world from complete and total destruction. But now you mention it…a kiss would be nice.”

Melinda chided herself in her head. She knew she shouldn’t have volunteered herself to be here.

Stupid, stupid…

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Hale’s face was mocking. “I can tell its been awhile since you’ve had any. You get twitchy when you’re touch-starved, Melinda.”

Anger surged inside Melinda. She remembered suddenly that this was an interrogation, that Hale has been lying to her for decades, that nothing they had at the Academy was real.

She was so fucking sentimental these days, and she hated it.

“Go to hell, Char.”

She hated Charlotte Hale.

For being a lying, manipulating bastard who still looked so good despite the age that showed plainly on her face. She hated that Char was HYDRA and that, by proxy, everything they had was a lie. She hated that her hatred of this woman showed plainly on her face, and most of all…

She hated that, after all these years, she was still in love with Charlotte Hale.

Chapter Text

She twirls the glass of whiskey in her hands. She’s buzzed enough to drown out the intense sadness and grief that’s crippled her soul since this morning, but that’s still too damn sober for her liking. She just wants to forget. And the only thing in her way is the stupid patronizing bartender who keeps shooting her worried glances every few minutes and the cloaked stranger at the end of the bar.

He’s been staring non-stop since he skulked in around twenty minutes ago.

In that time he’s nursed about the same amount of alcohol as she has, but his icy blue gaze remains unwaveringly trained on her. Its unnerving, and Melinda doesn’t get shaken easily.

With careful calmness Melinda stands up from her seat and moves towards the ladies room, ears alert as she turns her back on the icy eyed stranger. Sure enough, she hears two wooden stools scrape against the floor. A second, heavier set of footfalls enter the small hallway where the bar hid its restrooms.

She slams him against the wall face first and narrows her blazing brown eyes at his chilly blue ones.

“Why the hell have you been following me?” she hisses into his ear. She grinds his face against the wall when he chooses to smirk instead of answering right away.

He held up his hands and laughed. Laughed! At her!

“Recruitment trip. I’m almost positive you’ll say no, but seeing as my boss kicked me off the ship and forced me try anyway, I figured I may as well give it a go.”

The stranger’s voice reminded her of melted butter. The lackadaisical sarcasm so palpable on his tongue Melinda could feel the ghost of it dripping onto her jacket. She straightened him up so they were eye to eye and peered into him suspiciously.

“Who the hell sent you? What ship? Don’t you assholes know I’m out of the field? I’m not taking any more missions.”

He straightened himself up like he wasn’t afraid for his safety and repositioned the lapels of his coat. He stuck his hands his pockets and fucking stared.

“Okay”, he said simply. She stared at him like he was crazy. “Okay?”

He shrugged. “Do you want to be a time traveling hero on a quest to undo the damage a big, purple tyrant unleashed nine hours ago with six magic gems?”

“No.”

“Okay then. Would you like to sloppy sex with me in this bathroom instead?”

Melinda raised a brow.

**

Leonard unbuckled his pants as Melinda May shoved him against a bathroom stall. She turned over and bent at the waist and it was in that inopportune moment that his phone started ringing. His partner scowled and turned away.

“That better be your phone ringing.”

He kissed her neck enticingly and spoke in her ear. “It is this time, darling. I’ll show you my other tricks soon, though, don’t worry.”

“Kinda in the middle of something, Rip”, he greeted the captain with no preamble.

“I’m sure hoping that that something is recruiting Agent May, as you were instructed to do on the ship, Mr. Snart.”

“Something like that.” He smirked and winked at Agent May, who glowered back.

“Wha-are you- are you having sex with her?!” He could practically feel Rip stewing over the phone. it amused him to no end.

“Look Rip, the whole recruitment thing is a no-go, alright? She doesn’t want in on the adventure, but in an unrelated agreement, she said yes to me. Now can you please hang up and let me accept this win?”

“This is hardly a win!”, Rip exploded, “and you are directly defying my orders! You will here more about this when you get back on the ship.”

He rolled his eyes. Melinda could apparently hear the time master’s shouting through the phone and so she rolled hers too. “Well as riveting as that dressing down sounds, Melinda and I have some rather pressing business to attend to here. See you on the ship, Rip.”

“This is unacce -!”

The call disconnects.

“Sorry about that, darling.” His lips are on her throat again as an apology. “Now where were we.”

She keels into his touch and grinds her bare bottom on his jeans. “You were just about to take me from the back”, she whispers, who voice smooth as silk. She bites his ear. “And if you ever call me that again, Mr. Snart, I will bite your dick off and feed to you, do you understand?”

Leonard grunts in arousal. She turns him on beyond belief. His cold eyes stare into the fiery depths of hers.

“Yes ma’am.”

Chapter Text

He dodges a kick to the chest. Then she goes for the ankles; he grabs them and speeds out of the way. She is irritated now. A blow to his head, heart, stomach, eyes. None of them land.

A hit to his groin – that connects, because of course it does.

Scratch that – she’s pissed.

When he doubles over, she tries to cartwheel over him and drag him down; she gets halfway through the move before his foot flashes between her ankles and they both crash down on the mats.

Melinda growls and shows her fangs. Marcel traps her angry form beneath him and rolls his eyes.

“Anybody tell you you’re a sore loser, Melinda?”

She huffs and flares her nostrils. “No, because I never lose.”

His response is rolled eyes. "Look, with all the hand to hand skills you acquired in your human life, beating my ancient ass would be a piece of cake. Except,” he pauses and she narrows her eyes. “You’re a baby vamp. And baby vamps are notoriously overemotional.”

“I’m never emotional.”

He chuckled and kissed her lips. She growled into his mouth and bit him, causing him to laugh.

“Melinda, all newly turned vampires have trouble controlling themselves at first. Hell, Klaus Mikaelson has been like this over a thousand years and he’s got the worst impulse control in history. Just because you can’t whoop my ass right now doesn’t make you weak. It just means you need training. That’s all, babe.” He tucks a flyaway strand of hair back into her ponytail.

“So train me then,” she says.

Her typical breathing techniques aren’t as foolproof now that she’s gained extra senses. Her strength was always in her speed, and the confidence that no matter how much bigger or stronger her opponents were than her, physically, that her training and agility would always put on her on top.

Now she was pinned beneath Marcel Gerard.

His fighting sense wasn’t as sharp as hers, but he had centuries of experience fighting other vampires. Her human specialist training wasn’t enough, anymore. She had to be taught not only how to hold a fight against one of her own, but how to stay stealthy amongst humans. To minimize harm, to cause the least amount of bloodshed and human suffering as un-humanly possible.

That was her own philosophy, anyway.

And it was a hard adjustment, for sure. But just because circumstance had made her into monster didn’t mean she had to truly become one. She never wanted to become like Klaus, or Stefan and Lily Salvatore, or any of the Mikaelsons, really. But for the undead life of her she also really wanted to win a fight again. Especially against her boyfriend and his perpetual tranquil arrogance.

Smiles up at Marcel, pretending to acknowledge her own defeat.  He doesn’t buy it and the hold on her shoulders gets stronger. Melinda decides to follow his advice and embrace her new vampire side.

Her veins pop out and she bites Marcel’s shoulder. His stance above her remains and he smirks. She smirks back.

She isn’t finished yet.

Melinda thrusts her legs around Marcel’s neck and rolls them over, biting him in the same spot before the wound can heal. He winces now and his firm grip on her shoulders falters momentarily. She uses this as an opening and launches into her next attack, scratching his back with her newfound claws as she settles on top of him. His hands reach for her hair, trying to drag her back down beneath him, but Melinda ducks out of the way.

She speeds over to the other side of the cage and launches herself twenty feet in the air. She draws on her combat knowledge and predicts his next move.

She times her descent for the exact moment Marcel moves underneath her. Melinda looks down at her target and falls.

“Damn.” Marcel says from under her. She smiles as her chest heaves with air she no longer needs, but feels uncomfortable without. Marcel looks up at her and smiles.

“Seems like anger is the best motivator after all.”

Chapter Text

“Agents May and Carter, you have a new mission.”

Sharon and Melinda kept their heads down as the authoritative English voice carried on with the briefing.

“What’s the clearance level, ma’am?”

Peggy tsked. “That is none of your concern, Agent May. But this mission is for our eyes and our eyes only, is that understood, ladies?”

“Yes, director”, Melinda and Sharon replied in unison. Sharon peaked up at her great aunt from below her bangs. “Director Carter?”, she asked timidly. Peggy raised a brow.

“Yes dear?”

“Did you want two creams in that or three? Or…is the milk supposed to be taking place of the cream?”

Peggy’s brow crept higher and Melinda stifled a giggle behind her very authentic looking SHIELD sketchbook. Sharon pouted and stared at her shoes.

“British lady tea is very complex, Aunt Peggy! There are so many layers to everything. I’m just trying to keep up, Auntie!”

Peggy’s signature cherry lips split into a heartwarming smile. She repeated the order to Melinda, and the older girl nodded along as she read the neatly written words she’d scribbled on the page.

Peggy touched her six-year-old niece on the shoulder.

“You don’t have to overwhelm yourself, darling. I’ll be right here with you until you get it right.”

“And Melinda?” Sharon glanced at the dark haired girl on her left.

Peggy nodded. “And Melinda. Now off with you, girls. And I want a full mission report when you return from the cafeteria. See to it to annoy Colonel Fury as much as possible.”

Melinda's lit up with mischief. She smiled and leapt out of her chair with hardly contained energy. “Yes ma’am, Director Carter! But promise not to tell my mama.”

Peggy threw a hand to her mouth in mock offense and the girls giggled. “Why, my darling, I would never! This mission is classified and absolutely no one, not even the esteemed Miss Lian May could ever disobey my rules.”

Chapter Text

Melinda wakes up to a knife pressed to her throat.

Her legs come up on instinct. The male body lightly straddling her waist is thrown into the wall by the sheer strength of her calves. She flips over just in time as the knife flies over her head.

It embeds itself deep into the wooden bed frame. Melinda pulls it out, twisting its handle between each of her fingers, deliberating. If she throws it, he’ll throw it right back, and though she was excellent at ducking and weaving, she knew he never missed his target, and she didn’t want to take that chance.

While she thought about this dilemma, he hadn’t stopped tossing random objects her head. Finally he’s left with the body pillow that lines the bed. She smoothly ducks the blow. Melinda throws herself across the bed’s length and threatens to push the knife into the bare skin of his shoulder.

He answers her smug look with one of his own. He throws something small into the living room and the lamp on the coffee table shatters, thirty feet away.

“That was the toothpaste.”

Melinda raised an eyebrow. “That was our only tube.”

He doesn’t laugh; in fact his face stays painfully straight as he faces forward, the knife’s edge still pressed against his throat.

“I’ll buy you a new one.”

She scoffs. The knife is released, though still clutched firmly in her hands. “You better.”

Now he chuckles. He grabs the knife hand and presses a kiss gently into the calloused skin of her knuckles. “Whatever you say, sweetheart. Can I have my knife back?”

“No.”

“No?” he blinks. Her eyes light up with mischief.

“No. Take it from me.”

He kisses her lips this time. Her legs slide around his feet and he hikes them up around his waist. His feet fall under the scattered blankets and they land on the bed, Melinda straddling him gracefully.

“With pleasure."

Chapter Text

Amaya awoke groggily from her bed. The walls of the Waverider were unfortunately quite thin, and it was easy to make out the two voices at the bar.

She was quite positive who the voices belonged to. They were both feminine, but one was airier, slower, reminding Amaya of a feline preparing to strike. The other voice was sharp, lilted, low and quick like it was used to doling out commands in a way that was both powerful and distinctly feminine.

And they also happened to be the only female legends, not counting herself.

Slipping on a woolen cardigan and slippers, Amaya made her way around the hallway. The voices were unmistakably theirs. Mostly they sat together in silence, but occasionally one of them would say something brief while the other listened with rapt attention.

Two nearly empty bottles of whiskey sat on the counter between them.

Soon though, their attention shifted to her. Sara downed the rest of her glass and addressed Amaya directly.

“Hey Vixen. What’s up?”

Despite herself Amaya smiled and padded into the room. Melinda nodded towards the stool next to her and she took a seat, grabbing the bottle they commandeered from the ship’s cabinet but not making moves to pour herself any.

“You woke me up”, Amaya says, a simple statement of fact.

Neither of them looked sorry, so neither of them said it.

Melinda pushed a glass of water in her hand, so that was something. Amaya doesn’t take it right away. Instead she folds a sweater-paw under her chin and stares into space.

“You should go back to bed Amaya,” Melinda says, glancing at her sideways. It isn’t a rude look though, more concerned than anything else. Amaya shakes her head.

“I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

Tentatively, Melinda reaches over and brushes a loose curl behind Amaya’s ears.

“Bad dreams?”

Amaya nods. Melinda’s hand stays on her cheek. Traces the edge of her jaw, stopping just before the curve of her upper lip. Sara looks on at them with a smile on her face. “Feel free to tap me in at any time ladies.”

Amaya sticks her tongue out. Sara laughs. It’s a sarcastic comment, but it was said in good spirit, and Sara genuinely doesn’t seem to mind as her and Melinda continue to gaze into each other’s eyes. Amaya finally tears her eyes away.

“Nothing’s happening tonight”, she says firmly. “For one thing, neither of you is sober.” Sara concedes to that with a quirk of her brow and a symbolic drink of her whiskey. “And for another we are out in the open. I think you two have had enough. Let’s go.”

Sara grumbled something that resembled “you’re no fun” and Melinda simply glowered, but they both followed her orders well enough. Amaya took their grumbling in stride, placating them with the fact that when they all woke up later, they would be sober. Deciding that they were well enough to sleep in their bunks alone, Amaya sent them away and told Gideon to prepare fresh aspirin and tea for when they woke up. They grumbled more about how hangovers were for the weak and they never got them. Amaya kissed them on the cheek and said goodnight.

The next morning she found a note on her dresser from Melinda and Sara. It didn’t have their names on it, but she knew it was them, because it only had two words, very straightforward.

It said thank you.

Chapter Text

She wasn’t allowed to volunteer when Annie got reaped the first time.

She would have done it in a heartbeat, and not just because she was the top volunteer tribute in the district. To Melinda’s anger, the district had actually forbade her from volunteering for her best friend because of her mother’s status. Lily Lian May was the winner of the 27^th Hunger Games, and District 4’s first victor. Melinda had gone through Career tribute training at the insistence of her mother.

She had been training since the age of ten, and now at sixteen was easily one of the best tributes in her class. Her mother insisted she be trained a well-rounded tribute to make up for her small size, and she became skilled over the years in several hand-to-hand martial arts styles, as well as general areas of expertise like long and short distance weapons training, survival skills, arena strategizing and District 4’s specialty: aquatics training.

They had no right to pick the girl who could do none of those things, just because the Capitol audience had some sick fantasy of seeing an already damaged girl completely break in front of the country.

Melinda couldn’t cry when she went to the Justice Center to say goodbye to Annie. It would only make her more nervous. In fact when she got there, Annie’s pale face was already stained with tears.

She had to watch and comfort the girl who couldn’t fight as the Capitol prepared her for slaughter. She didn’t want to let the girl go. When Peacekeepers started banging on the door she told Annie to be strong, to make sure she tried to win.

“You could do it if you tried, Annie. You could come home to me. Please try.”

Now she wished she hadn’t made Annie make that promise. It had destroyed her, broken that little piece of sanity she’d had before the games left a million shattered pieces that couldn’t even be cleaned up by Finnick Odair.

Older and hardened, Melinda Lian May watches the assassination of President Snow with hard eyes. He died exactly the way he lived: as a snake in the grass, trampled by the circus he created to hold himself up as poison dribbles from his sinister lips, twisted up in a smile.

Annie returns to District 4, alone except for the baby growing in her stomach.

Melinda never could let the girl go, and she welcomes her and Finnick's child into her home with open arms.

“I’m so sorry Annie,” she whispers as they embrace again. Tears are streaming down her face, and she notices that this time around, their positions are switched. Annie’s voice is strong when she rubs her back and replies:

“It’s okay Mellie. I’m home. You brought me home.”

Chapter Text

Melinda frowned at the stack of papers around her desk.

Hill finally convinced Fury to have SHIELD’s oldest files transferred onto their new online database, and Melinda’s hands have been busy all week typing up the large boxfuls of old mission reports, special ops requests and budget filings.

It was grueling, time-consuming work, and as Melinda’s manicured nails clicked against the ancient keyboard, she told herself that she loved every bit of it.

Lying to herself was becoming easier now, with no one else to tell her different.

She passed the hours well enough, going through a box and a half before her lunch hour. Melinda sat at her desk, twisting a pen in her fingers absentmindedly.

She was halfway through her Tupperware full of noodles when she heard footsteps at the end of the hall.

“Knock, knock.” Felix Blake’s voice filtered inside her little sanctuary. She squinted at him, because she hasn’t used her voice in a full week and needed to take a few sips of tea before she could properly tell him to leave. She raised an eyebrow at him from above her mug.

“Wow,” Blake looked around, whistling at the stack of boxes lined up around her. “Hill’s got you updating the files, huh?”

Melinda swallows her tea. “Someone has to.”

Blake chuckles, and its nervous but genuine. The eyebrow stays raised.

“Why are you here, Agent Blake?”

The corner of his mouth quirks briefly. “Always to the point, Agent May. I wanted to come by earlier, but I see like you’ve already started your tea. Maybe you can drink this one on your dinner break then, since I know you’re here til eight, as always.”

Melinda glances up at Felix’s hands, where he’s clutching a green tea that was evidently meant for her. She regarded him suspiciously, a playful glint in her eye as she met both of his.

“Have you been spying on me, Agent Blake?”

His eyes crinkle and he leans down on her desk, elbows propped on an unopened box of files. “No, Agent May. You just happen to be a creature of habit. Very un-Scorpio like. Reminds me of a Sagittarius. Reminds me –“

“Of you?”

“Precisely.”

Melinda gives Felix a long look before reaching out for the tea. Wordlessly, he hands it to her. Their fingers brush. Melinda notes that her hand feels rough against his and inwardly sighs. Apparently two years of menial desk work aren’t enough to overcome a decade and a half of fighting with her hands.

They’ll be soft someday. Hopefully on the same day that she is.

She brings her eyes back up to Felix Blake’s face. “Did you come all the way down to Admin just to flirt with me, Felix?”

She leans closer, closer to the only other human being she’s seen since Natasha strolled in and perched herself on her desk last week. Two weeks before Maria brought her her favorite pastry from the yuppie place next door she would never admit she liked.

“Oh, Melinda May,” he said while fiddling with the knickknacks on her desk. He straightened the loose papers that she had already finished typing and tucked them into a folder. One of his hands reached out towards her hair before he thought better of it and put it down. “You were never ‘just’ anything. Enjoy your tea.” He knocked on wood and left the room. Melinda went back to typing.

Hours later she stared at the now cold tea. Her name was written in the corner, in Felix’s handwriting, along with a little hand drawn scorpion. She shook her head and smiled, sipping the tea while her other manicured hand typed in an ops report from 1977.

Chapter Text

Protecting people is what they do.

It’s in their blood, in their heart of hearts, and in their souls.

Diana of Themyscira and Melinda May of Earth. Tangled together in the twists of time, the legends of old, and the silk linen sheets of their timeshare in Paris. Two sets of smoky brown eyes set on each other. A tan hand stroking through the long coils of shiny dark hair, sharp noses touching as they lay in each other’s arms.

“I could stay here with you forever, right here in this moment,” says Diana, her voice a deeply soothing rumble as she whispers in Melinda’s ear.

Melinda answers coyly, a smirk playing on the corners of her lips, voice a powerful command in the darkness, “do it.”

Diana chuckles, and the lasso at her hip ties their bodies together on its own accord. Melinda looks at the glowing gold rope in wonder, running her fingers along the sides. Diana presses her lips against her shoulders.

“I already did,” she says.

Chapter Text

After she played her part in Hunter’s disastrous master plan – which was successful in the end, hence the disaster – Melinda decided to cool off in a little hole-in-the-wall pub she’d found not far from their motel.

It was low-key but far less seedy than the one they were at earlier, the popular Hydra hangout where that large idiot Spud had picked her up and attempted to crush her bones in an unwanted hug.

Where his hands had strayed to her ass and Melinda’d nearly blown her clover by launching a foot in his groin.

It was strange to think about how dead he was now, killed by Hunter in that sadistic sparring ring so that they get closer to Ward and… oh yeah. The particulars of that plan hadn’t been laid out yet.

Melinda sighed and rolled her eyes. Leave it to Hunter to leave the planning part in the air as she risked everything – again – to get him closer to revenge.

She sauntered over to the bar and assumed the mannerisms of her current persona: the vodka-loving, eye-liner and skinny jeans clad barfly, Gina. She sat down at the bar with a don’t fuck with me expression and ordered a cheap shot.

Okay, so maybe Gina was supposed to be more personable than this, but sue her, she’s had a really long day.

She feels eyes on her as she waits for her drink but after beating up those fuckboys back at Ward’s thing, Melinda was no longer in the mood to play the flirty barfly.

That’s why she doesn’t notice until a feminine hand sets the glass on the counter that the eyes she was avoiding belonged to the bartender, who wasn’t a creepy thug after all, but a gorgeous brunette with a soft smile on her face.

“One vodka, straight.” Melinda’s eyes slid from the woman’s face, where a small scar accentuated the curve of her upper lip, to the black nail polish on her fingers, chipped in some places but shiny and immaculate in others, to the lime balanced on the edge of her glass.

Melinda stared at it.

“I didn’t order the lime,” she said blankly.

“On the house,” one corner of her mouth lifted up – the side with the scar – and she winked. At Melinda’s blank look she flushed and immediately backtracked. “I – I’m sorry. I should have asked if you wanted it. Citrus allergies are apparently a thing and I cannot afford to get sued right now. I’ll pour you another –“

“I want it,” Melinda interrupted, staring plainly at the woman’s lips. She allowed herself to smile as she tossed the shot down her throat. A second later she sat the empty glass down and looked into the woman’s eyes, a hypnotizing brown that seemed to pulse and flicker under Melinda’s gaze.

 “I want it,” she repeated.

Understanding flashed in the woman’s brown eyes and her pupils dilated. At the other side of the bar, a patron waved for her attention. Before turning to them she leaned into Melinda, the low-cut swoop of her sleeveless grey top dipping into supple breasts. She can feel those brown eyes on her as her gaze travels downwards, down the slender skin of her arms, to the regal curve of her chin and the dignified curve of her lip, practically preening over Melinda’s open appreciation of her figure.

It was odd, for the hoop-wearing, curly haired bartender to look so delicate, and it was the mystery of this woman that drew Melinda in, the inner spy trying to figure out what the other’s woman’s game was.

Or so she told herself.

In reality, the mission had left Melinda frustrated, and what perfect cure was there to frustration than fingering a pretty woman in the storage cellar of a pub?

When it was all over, the bartender was trying to get her name, and after a few minutes of prodding (no words necessary, just tongue) Melinda reluctantly told her it was Gina.

“Gina,” she murmured, tasting the words on her tongue as she wiped the last of Melinda’s juices off her lips with a forefinger. “That’s a nice name. I like it.”

You can have it, Melinda didn’t say out loud. These sleeveless tees are itchy as hell.

She smiled and thanked Roni (the name fit and yet it didn’t; it was weird) before sliding on her jacket and heading out the door.

Roni sat back against the bar, wondering why the name Gina sounded so familiar…

Chapter Text

There is only one way to save the rest of their team.

To save Phil.

It isn’t the Darkhold. But the magic calls to her just as fiercely, black tendrils grabbing hold of her weary limbs and begging to be let inside her. It had tried to jump into Mack but his pain wasn’t enough. The pain of losing his infant daughter was only a drop in the bucket compared to what she suffered. Is suffering. If he was a midnight snack to the Devil, then Melinda May was a full course meal.

She let the thing feast on her pain and dine on her soul like the very child she had taken out so long ago had tried to do. This felt better, somehow, like the Devil was channeling her sorrow to bring fiery justice onto those who deserved it.

Those who were already afraid of Melinda’s strength and power practically worshipped at her feet now. And the others, the ones who had doubted the destruction that a tiny little Asian woman like her could cause even without summoning the Ghost Rider, well, they never usually lived long enough to regret that choice.

She refuses to be pushed around, not even by the Devil himself, and she makes a deal to save Coulson, Robbie, and Fitz’ souls in exchange for hers. The Rider almost agrees when Reyes shows up and makes a better deal instead. Settling every score, forever, before retiring back to the depths of Hell. Melinda can’t figure why this deal makes her so angry, until it hits her: the Rider’s pain had made her feel whole, useful, and without its fire as a driving force she felt like a sad, empty vessel surrounded by her own darkness.

But, she got to keep Phil. The team was saved. AIDA was found out and Radcliffe placed under indefinite custody for violating SHIELD’s code of conduct.

She looks at the Darkhold, wondering if she made the right decision. Robbie meets her eyes and takes her hand, gently steering her away from the book towards the cargo ramp, where Phil and Daisy hang back, gazing at her with matching worried expressions.

“You made the right choice, Melinda. That kind of darkness, it eats at your soul til there’s nothing left but dust.” Melinda nods, for no other reason than give her mind something else to besides dwell on what-ifs and never-was. But that’s what she’s done for years now and its comfortable, so she can’t stop herself from asking, “What about you? What if I just forced you into something worse?”

Robbie’s hands squeeze hers, Melinda feels a comforting warmth in the gesture that has nothing to do with the monster that lies in wait in his head. “I’m already dead and I owe him a debt. This is me serving penance.”

But what about my penance, she wants to say. What about my debts.

“The only thing you owe yourself is happiness,” says Robbie. “Let go of the pain that’s holding you back, so when the Devil comes knocking again you can slam the door in his face and live your life. No one deserves to live with this kind of pain,” Robbie pauses before adding wryly, “not even someone who looked as good with a flaming head as you did.”