Chapter Text
A second...it was just a second and we were getting under the wheels of a humongous trailer truck with the speed of miles per last second of our lives...
His screams were echoing somewhere in the back of my head, words choking under the pressure of consideration.
Looking at the mirror I knew that the destructive tsunami in his eyes will end before it gets a chance to get started.
I tried so hard to erase the frightened look from his face.
I tried to speak novels with my eyes because I knew words would be useless.
I tried to burry the last I love yous deep down in his soul.
It happened so fast but I felt each milli second and I cursed myself for relying on time.
I let the hard metal bend on my chest, break my bones, leave me weak and defenseless.
I tasted the metallic flavor of blood mixing with saliva in my mouth as my teeth tore my lips apart.
I choked my screams in my head cause I didn't want them to be the last thing he had heard from me.
And I let my heartbeat line go flat, matching with the endless horns of the truck in my ears.
***
Soft skin of his was the right spell to push me out of my darkness.
My blurry eyes met his white, pale lips trying to catch the words leaving his mouth just before they hide behind the buzzy sounds ringing in my ears.
His cold fingers were sudden relief to my burning skin.
"You're fine...stay with me baby...you are fine. I promise. Don't close your eyes. " he managed to let out between aggressive hiccups.
A large shadow slowly covered his face and as soon as it succeeded to get his attention from me I felt nauseous.
His voice with his thick American accent made me think of his probably large figure and his big chest. A big chest which may or may not carry a big heart. It was hard for me to concentrate and understand his words.
"I know you're scared kid but you have to get out of the car so we can call and ask for help "
"I can't leave him alone " his sweet low tenor voice cracked due to emotions.
"We'll get back to him. You don't think straight right now so I need you to hear me out without arguement. Get out of the car and be fast so I can keep at least one of you...safe. "
Safe was a polite word considering our situation but I appreciated that he didn't use the word "alive" . It was for louis' sake and I truly would appreciate anything to give the light of his eyes back to them. The shadow moved away from his face and I couldn't risk a blink. His fingers danced on my face once again and pulled some of the curls out of my face.
"I'm coming back to you, okay? Harry. Do you hear me? Just a second and I'll be right by your side. Don't close those beautiful eyes...keep them open for me, yeah? I love you so much..."
"C'mon kiddo the faster you are the sooner help will be here. "
He left and I couldn't hear their small talk from distance anymore. I had nothing to do. Something in my mind was broken I couldn't think of much, I was just there pressed in between metals on the roof of my car waiting for pain to settle in my veins. But I felt nothing. Shouldn't I feel something? This feeling is making me want to throw up.
I remembered those freezing days in England which me and gemma used to play with snow balls in our back yard.
I remembered the weird numbness on my fingertips when I put them next to our old fireplace.
I remembered the fine line between pain and numbness...I was right there. On the line.
It's funny how everything changes when you're dying. All my life I was trying to stay away from pain. I'd always loved to accept the warm invitation of the darkness behind my eyes. But I guess I can forgive myself.
Good nights have always been sweeter than goodbyes.
Between broken glasses cold wind was spoiling me with gentle rubs. Helping me remember where my skin ends and to not go any further.
I saw his small figure next to the big shadow's. He was holding his right arm with his left hand. He was hurt. I couldn't keep him safe. For once it's me who's breaking his promise.
I couldn't help but laugh at my weird angle. I used to look at him from high now I can officially confirm that he looks beautiful from every possible and probably impossible angle. My gaze made him turn and stare back at me. He smiled but it wasn't one of those smiles he puts on which makes his eyes squeeze shut and narrow lines to appear near them.
It was a forced smile and for me only.