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Ten finger, ten toes, and a button nose. Little blonde curls, big blue eyes, and soft yawns. Perfect, perfect, perfect. She was perfect.
Barbara smiled as the heavy heat of tears pressed against her eyes again. Her baby was more than she could’ve ever hoped for. She was the most perfect baby ever born, Barbara just knew it, and she was hers. She was her baby. No matter what anybody else had to say about it.
There was a loud sound from outside of the room and Barbara felt her grip on her baby tighten just a little bit. She knew what was going on outside her door, what words were being exchanged, even if she couldn’t hear anything other than the vague sounds of Jim’s deep voice being met with Oswald’s screech. She hated to admit it (hated it) but she felt a surge of appreciation for ol’ Pengy. After everything that had happened, everything that they’d done to each other, he was out there screaming at Jim on her behalf. Maybe this one of those universal things, a shared moral that none of them knew they held so deeply until they were met with this situation; Oswald and Ed had a rough relationship with her, but they both knew that Jim was in the wrong.
For a brief moment, she let her eyes shut and her body sink into the pillows as the fantasy took over. The one where she wasn’t alone in her hospital room, where she had the mother of her baby beside her, and Jim Gordon had been strangled to death by a whip and left to rot in the hallway. Tabitha would be pressed against her side right now, the pair of them would be exchanging tearful looks of love and awe over the little bundle against her chest, and, what the hell, Oswald and Ed could be here too, giving her little one gifts and taking pictures of the happy little family.
Barbara didn’t get to stay long in that world though, as she was forced out by what sounded like “My baby too!” exclaimed from the hallway. She pulled her baby closer. She didn’t care what Jim thought, or what bullshit fantasy he and Lee had conjured in their minds, this was her baby and she’d be damned if they took her from her.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Barbara was gripped with a breathless fear. But, instead of Jim trying to force her to hand her baby over, or Lee pretending to need to examine her, or some other GCPD bullshit, in came Selina, with Bruce right on her tail.
“Hey,” Selina said quietly with an awkward smile, “We came as soon as we heard.”
“Hi,” Barbara said, feeling soft despite everything that was happening in the hallway outside her room.
“Are you alright?” Bruce asked, ever attentive.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” Barbara said with a small smile, “Come meet Tabitha.”
The two young adults dutifully shuffled over and bent over (keeping a respectful distance, of course) to see the small bundle in her arms. After a moment, both of their even expression broke into small smiles, and Barbara knew she wasn’t biased when she called Tabitha perfect.
“She’s cute,” Selina said, Barbara unable to keep herself from preening at the praise of her baby.
“Do you want to hold her?”
Selina recoiled quickly, shock and fear taking over her expression in equal measure.
“No, no, no. Thanks for the offer, but no,” she said, taking a steps back as if Barbara was going to force the baby into her arms. Barbara just chuckled slightly and shrugged; not everybody was partial to babies, and it came as no surprise that Selina was one of those people.
“You said her name was Tabitha?” Bruce asked, doing Selina a favor as he pulled the attention off of her.
“Yeah,” Barbara said with shining eyes, “Tabitha Kean.”
There was another loud sound from outside the room and all three of them jumped; Barbara now happy she hadn’t handed Tabitha over when she’d offered. Selina and Bruce exchanged a glance before the former started to stalk towards the door.
“I’m going to tell them to shut up,” Selina said, shaking her head in disbelief, “I mean, you were pushing a baby out an hour ago, are they animals or something?”
“Selina?” Barbara called after her, “Could you get me a glass of water while you’re out there?”
“Sure,” Selina said with a small smile before she disappeared back out the door.
It was quiet for a moment. Quiet and awkward. Barbara had known Bruce for as nearly as long as Jim had, but they really didn’t know each other. He’d been around the Sirens a few times during his brat phase, which hadn’t exactly endeared him to her, but Oswald spoke very highly of him and, for the most part, he seemed like a perfectly fine person. If a little too like Jim for his own good.
Although, the obsession that Ra’s had had with him made Barbara wonder if maybe there was a little bit more to Bruce Wayne than what appeared on the surface.
Right now, though, he was neither the heir to the League of Shadows or a stick-up-the-ass GCPD lackey, he was a young man smiling slightly at the baby Barbara held in her arms.
“She really is beautiful, Ms. Kean.”
“Would you like to hold her?”
Both of them looked at each other with surprise on their expressions. Neither one of them had expected those words to leave Barbara’s lips, but they had, and now Bruce was nodding and pulling a chair nearer to her bed. And although Barbara was not a woman with many reservations and she would feel no problems with rescinding her offer, she found herself handing Tabitha over to Bruce anyway. Like her body knew better than her mind did.
For a moment it was quiet as Bruce looked down at the little bundle in his arms and Barbara waited in breathless anticipation (for some reason) for his reaction. Suddenly, any stoicism that Bruce had been holding onto disappeared, and his face softened completely; that small smile becoming a full-fledged grin.
“I wouldn’t have expected you to like babies,” Barbara said, Bruce shrugging without ever taking his eyes off of Tabitha, “You saw Selina’s reaction, so I’m not certain if you should be looking to her for a future with children.”
“I’m not sure if I want children, bad things tend to happen to those around me,” Bruce said simply, still not looking up, “And I doubt I’ll have a future with Selina like you’re implying. She will always be my best friend, but I don’t think either of us wants something like that anymore.”
“Because there’s someone else?” Barbara asked, unable to keep that knowing tinge out of her voice, and Bruce glanced up at her for the first time since he’d started holding Tabitha. It was quiet for a moment, and Barbara wondered if he was just going to disregard that question.
“Have you been discussing my private life with Mr. Cobblepot, Ms. Kean?”
Barbara smiled at Bruce’s tone; maybe Oswald was right, maybe she had been missing out by not talking to this kid sooner.
“Nothing personal. There’s only so much to talk about on this island.”
Bruce snorted softly before he replied, not bothering to try to deny what he undoubtedly knew Oswald had told Barbara.
“There aren’t children down that path either,” he said before tipping his head slightly, “I’m not sure if there’s even a future.”
“Maybe not,” Barbara allowed, shrugging, “But, there might be happiness. Love. And who needs a future when you’ve got that?”
It was quiet for a moment as Bruce and Barbara considered her words. She hadn’t been lying when she said that, but she’d omitted something important. Not having a future had been nothing to her when she’d had Tabitha, but having to face a future once she’d lost her… She had a Tabitha again, though; her own little Tabby. And the future that stretched out unbearably long ahead of her didn’t seem so bad anymore.
“One day…” Bruce said, breaking Barbara out of her reverie, “One day I’m going to come across Tetch in the Dark Zone, and before he hypnotizes me, he’s going to rhyme about how I might find happiness if I forget my morals and make out with Jeremiah.”
Both of them chuckled at Bruce’s words and maybe Barbara was starting to get what had attracted Selina, Jeremiah, and Jerome to this kid in the first place. Although, she might be the only one who really knew about that last one.
Bruce’s laughter suddenly cut short and Barbara looked over to see Tabitha’s eyes slowly blink open. Either the sound or the movement had woken her, so Bruce stilled both, probably hoping she’d go right back to sleep. But, she just looked up at Bruce with those big blue eyes, and Barbara sat up slightly in preparation for a crying baby to be handed back to her.
Tabitha smiled.
It was opened mouth and was soon destroyed by a yawn, but both of them saw it, Tabitha had looked at Bruce and smiled.
Bruce and Barbara exchanged shocked glances, both with eyes a little shinier than usual, but Bruce soon looked back down and replied with his own sweet smile.
“You know…” Barbara said softly, thoughtfully, “Lee only held her when she delivered her, and she passed her to me right away, so that doesn’t really count. Which means that you’re the first person other than me to hold her.”
“Really?” Bruce said, surprised but pleasantly so.
“Yeah,” Barbara said, “The first man to. Hopefully the last.”
Both of them laughed even though it was kind of a lame joke. Before either of them could say anything else, though, the door opened and Barbara felt hot panic strike her chest. But, it was just Selina with a glass of water and an expression tinged with concern.
“Alfred wants to talk to you,” she said, Bruce giving her a curt nod before he returned his attention to Tabitha. It was quiet as he appreciated the baby in his arms for one more moment before he handed her back over to Barbara, who smiled at him slightly.
“You can hold her again later, if you want.”
That made Bruce smile, and he nodded (much more open than the quick one he’d given Selina a few moments ago) before he turned and headed out of the room. For the split second, as the door was open, Barbara could see how the group outside was tightly knit now. They were obviously hissing at one another in low voices and she realized that they’d only gone quiet because Selina had told them to, not because the argument had been resolved.
The sun was setting on Gotham when Oswald and Ed burst into her room.
It had been quiet; Barbara had just gotten Tabitha back to sleep after she’d cried for what had felt like an eternity, and Selina was dozing like a cat in the sun on the windowsill. But, all of that had been interrupted when Oswald and Ed had hurried inside with frenzied but determined expressions and a wheelchair.
“Time to go.”
Barbara’s face hardened and she allowed the two men to help her into the chair without a question. Although her time knowing these two fools had been full of strife, she knew that what they were doing now was what had to be done to get them out of Gotham. To keep Tabitha safe.
“Right now?” Selina asked, concern painting her expression as Barbara winced when she fully sat on the chair.
“It’s now or never,” Ed replied.
“Jim and Harvey won’t be distracted for long and then they’ll go right back to trying to take the baby,” Oswald added, Selina’s jaw tightening before she nodded.
“Then let’s go.”
Selina went first, then Oswald, then Barbara with Ed pushing her chair. For a moment, it was silent as the four (plus Tabby) made their way down the hall; all of their attention on being as quiet as possible, Barbara particularly trying to ensure the baby in her arms didn’t wake and alert everyone to what they were doing.
The door was in sight now, they were almost there, and it was only a few minutes from the dock. Soon they’d be out of here, out of Gotham, and Barbara would be able to raise her daughter without fear of anyone trying to take her away, if only until reunification. But, hell, who knew when that was going to happen, or even if it would. Besides, Barbara would have the time and the money to carve a piece of the world out herself and Tabitha. Somewhere no one had ever even heard the name Jim Gordon.
“Stop.”
The group froze as the path between them and the door was suddenly blocked; Jim and Harvey coming from around the corner with guns drawn, Lee on their heels. There was a single moment of shocked silence before the levee broke.
“Are you going to shoot the mother of your child?!” Oswald exclaimed, wildly gesturing towards Barbara and Tabitha, “While she’s holding said child?!”
“Oswald, Ed, Selina, you’re all free to go,” Jim replied with that damned even tone of the Captain of the GCPD, “But, I won’t let you leave here with that baby, Barbara.”
“She’s not that baby, she’s my baby,” Barbara spat out in response, Jim’s jaw clenching, “And her name is Tabitha.”
“Barbara, give Tabitha to Lee,” Jim said, his voice slightly gentler but not leaving any room to argue, “Barbara… Barbara, we all know you’re not fit to be a mother.”
“No, no, no!” Barbara exclaimed, clutching Tabitha to her chest as Lee took a step closer, “She’s mine. You can’t take her from me!”
It came as no consolation to Barbara that Jim wasn’t taking any pleasure in this, because at the end of the day, Jim’s feelings didn’t matter; whether he liked it or not, he was ripping a newborn out of her mother’s arms. Lee took another step towards Barbara, who bared her teeth in terrible sneer at her, and Oswald, Ed, and Selina moved towards her slightly before Harvey made a warning sound.
But, before Lee could get close enough to even touch Tabitha, or the two cops could get a little twitchy, Barbara’s view of Jim was interrupted. Instead of seeing the stone faced expression or the barrel of the gun that belonged to the man trying to steal her baby away, all Barbara could see was a great mass of black, as if a shadow had stepped between her and Jim.
“Bruce, move.”
Jim’s voice was confused, and the expressions of those around her mirrored that, but Barbara wasn’t. Actually, for the first time since she’d met him—since she’d heard countless people speak so intensely about him—Barbara understood just why so many people cared so deeply when it came to Bruce Wayne.
“This is wrong, Jim,” Bruce said, his voice low; steadying, but also a warning.
“Bruce…” Jim recoiled slightly as if he’d said something harsher, and Barbara was able to catch his conflicted appearance over Bruce’s shoulder, “What’re you—?”
“I won’t let you do this.”
It was silent for a moment once Bruce’s full intentions were revealed. No one said a word, either because they couldn’t or were scared of what would happen if they did. Instead, they all stayed with their attentions locked on the two men that stood opposite each other; Bruce standing tall, without a hint of hesitation, and Jim, whose expression quickly dashed through a million different reactions to this betrayal.
Jim’s eyes stayed on Bruce for a second longer, searching for something, maybe weakness, maybe signs of hypnosis. When he found none of that, he snapped over to look at the man standing beside him. He almost seemed to implore him to remove Bruce from this situation; to talk some sense into the boy that he’d raised. Alfred simply shrugged.
“Sorry, Mate.”
“Alfred…” Lee said in that soft, hurt voice that made Barbara want to kneecap her on principle. It didn’t anger Alfred, though, it also didn’t make him yield.
“Sorry, Lee,” he apologized, much more genuine than before, “But, I don’t think I’d be able to sleep quite right if I let you take this baby.”
That’s when it hit Barbara; just because Bruce was the one to make the first move to stand between Jim and her baby, didn’t mean he was the first one to realize how wrong this all was, and she realized exactly why Alfred had wanted to speak with him earlier. And now that she knew that, Barbara also knew that nothing Jim said or did would get Bruce to back down. Nothing could topple Bruce Wayne while Alfred Pennyworth was behind him.
Bruce turned his head slightly and sent a side eye towards the mob bosses, thieves, and criminals that he was protecting.
“Selina, backdoor.”
That seemed to wake Jim out of his stupor, and the arm that had been lagging suddenly stuck out straight—aimed directly at Bruce’s chest.
“Bruce, move,” Jim repeated, Bruce’s chin tipping upwards in challenge.
“No.”
Oswald smacked Ed on the arm and that was enough to break him away from the unbelievable scene taking place in front of them. He turned Barbara around and followed Selina, who led them to the exit that Bruce had mentioned. Now that she was being pushed away, Barbara could no longer see Jim and Bruce, but she was able to hear one last exchange before they burst outside.
“Bruce, I’m serious.”
“You’ll have to shoot me.”
Barbara sent nervous looks towards the doors of the clinic, expecting to see Jim and Harvey burst through them at any second to try to steal her baby once again. But, they remained securely shut as everyone loaded into the car Oswald had obtained.
“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Selina asked, also sending a nervous look towards the doors.
“Jim would never shoot Bruce, and they both know that,” Oswald offered, sitting down in the passenger seat, “The worst that could happen is them getting thrown in a cell for a few days. He’ll be fine.”
No sooner did Oswald say that did the doors swing open and, for a moment, everyone’s hearts stopped in their chests. But, there was no reason for fear; instead of Harvey and Jim with guns drawn, it was Bruce and Alfred, barricading the door. Before Ed could take the driver’s seat, Bruce ran to that side and slid in—quickly starting the engine and pausing only a second for Alfred before speeding off.
For a moment, it was silent as they barreled down the street and the outrageous events of the past ten minutes just barely began to sink in. Specifically, what Bruce had done—the line that he’d crossed and the bridges he burned— just to get them here.
“What?” Bruce said, glancing around the car slightly and making everyone realize that they’d been staring at him as they tried to process this. They all quickly looked away and pretended like they hadn’t been, even though they all knew otherwise.
Except for Barbara.
Barbara’s eyes remained locked on the back of Bruce’s head and—even though they were going at frightening speeds and making sharp turns—she reached out and placed on hand on his tense shoulder. A part of her wished she could do more to express how she felt in that moment (she was never very good with gratitude), but when Bruce glanced at her in the mirror and she caught sight of his dark eyes, she knew that it was enough. He’d understood.
“The docks?” Bruce asked, Barbara nodding.
“The docks.”
They pulled to a stop in front of the submarine, everyone sending Bruce looks again. Only this time, it wasn’t because he had gone against Jim Gordon and the GCPD to do something he believed to be morally right, but rather that he’d elected to drive right on the dock, which really fell in line with what Selina had said about him being a maniac driver.
Barbara sent a grateful look to Alfred, who helped her out of the car as everyone else hurried over to the sub; she’d anticipated she’d be in quite a bit of pain after giving birth, but she hadn’t exactly expected such a frenzy. Then again, this shouldn’t be that surprising—Gotham had always found a way to make her life as tense as possible, she’d be glad to be rid of it.
“How long will it take to get this thing out into the river?” Alfred asked, Ed grimacing slightly as he opened the hatch.
“Less than four minutes.”
“I think four minutes is pushing it,” Selina replied, everyone turning to see how she looked out at the end of the street that led to the dock. Although the car was barely visible, there was no mistaking it’s fast pace for anyone else. And everybody knew that more would be joining them before too long; saving Jim Gordon’s child from the evil woman trying to steal her would be the most self-righteous rallying point the GCPD ever had.
“I’ll prepare the sub for launch,” Ed said, sounding very nervous before he disappeared down the hatch. Oswald rolled his eyes before turning and gesturing towards Barbara, who peered down into the submarine and winced. She knew that climbing down the ladder in her state while holding a baby would be impossible.
Even though the last thing she wanted to do was be parted from Tabitha for any amount of time, Barbara steeled herself and spun around; placing her baby in Bruce’s arms and beginning her descent down into the sub before anyone could say a word. Once her feet were flat on the metallic floor, she reached up and Bruce gave her Tabitha back without any further prompting.
Next came Oswald (swearing under his breath as he navigated the ladder with his leg), then Selina, who descended faster and easier than anyone else. Bruce placed his hand on the ladder next, but before he could swing into the submarine, he paused and looked down at the opposite end of the dock. The car was coming to a stop now. Soon enough Jim and Harvey would be stepping out; guns drawn and ready to do everything in their power to stop them from leaving.
“How long, Mr. Nygma?” He called out, not bothering to look down.
“Three now, if everyone would get in,” Ed replied, the annoyance in his voice thinly veiling his approaching panic.
Instead of replying, Bruce glanced over to Alfred with a serious expression and communicated his thoughts without a word. In response, Alfred simply shrugged and smiled; his words a little melancholy, but mostly filled with familiar camaraderie.
“I go where you do, Master Bruce.”
In a moment, Bruce’s stoic façade broke and his lips curled into a smile; it only took a sentence to remind him of Alfred’s steadying strength. He gave him a quick nod before he turned his eyes down into the submarine, where Selina watched him with lost eyes.
“Go.”
The sound of the hatch slamming shut seemed horribly final.
Selina’s eyes widened and she rushed over to the ladder; making it up two steps before Oswald grabbed her around the middle and attempted to wrestle her back.
“We can’t leave him,” she exclaimed, the hatch sealing shut, “We can’t leave him!”
“Selina,” Barbara said, calm as Selina continued to frantically struggle against Oswald, even though she wouldn’t be able to get out now.
“Let go of me!”
Oswald hissed in pain as Selina unsheathed in her claws and slashed him across the arm, causing him to release her, although it wasn’t deep enough to be too concerning. Before Selina could scramble up the ladder and start scratching at the hatch, a sharp voice cut through the agitated air in the tiny vessel.
“Selina!”
That one word was enough. For a moment, Selina was still, but when she slowly turned to face Barbara, everyone in the submarine was able to see her wide and watery eyes. It was quiet.
“He was the one who wanted to leave,” she finally said, her voice hushed, “He was the one who was supposed to…”
No one said anything for a long, long moment.
“We’re going under,” Ed finally broke the tense silence, “You might want to sit down.”
Those words woke Selina out of her stupor and she jerked around to stalk to the other side of the sub; the young woman leaning against the wall for a moment before she slumped all the way down to the floor.
On Oswald’s part, he took a deep breath as he battled down whatever pain was invading him—Barbara knew he had a soft spot for Bruce, so there was undoubtedly a lot of it—and he walked past her to sit beside Ed.
Barbara pulled Tabitha a little closer before turning on her heel and heading to the end of the submarine closest to the docks, where a large porthole offered a distorted view of the city. She leaned her head against the thick glass as she took in the last image she’d have of Gotham, but she paid the cityscape no mind. Instead, she focused on one of the figures she could just barely see standing on the docks; the man in all black, who stood tall and proud as he faced down the barrel of Jim Gordon’s gun. And, even though she wasn’t paying any attention to the view of the city, she knew she was saying goodbye to the best thing Gotham had to offer.
But, Barbara’s last memory of being in Gotham would not be the image of a strong young man taking a stand against one of his mentors to protect her and her baby, because as bubbles overtook the porthole, everyone in the submarine could clearly hear the sound of a gunshot.
It was just an alley.
That’s what killed Bruce; no matter how much this place tormented him, how many nightmares he spent trapped here, it was always just going to be an alley. No better or worse than any other alley in Gotham.
Bruce took a few more steps before stopping and taking a deep breath. He had no confirmation other than a seven year old memory, but he knew that this was it. The spot where it had happened.
Sometimes Bruce wished he was religious, so he could have something that he could do when he was in moments like this, rather than just experience the deep pain that coursed through him.
Once the peak pain passed and it returned to the terrible, but familiar, throb in his veins, Bruce glanced to his right to confirm that the alley hadn’t changed since he’d been here seven years prior. It hadn’t and he slowly stepped over to the fire escape before sitting down on the second from bottom step, just like he had before. For a moment, he wished that he had a blanket over his shoulders like he did that night; even though he was past shock by now, he still felt like he could use one.
He stared down at his boots for longer than strictly necessary, knowing that when he lifted his eyes he would have to relive the single moment of light from that terrible night. The one that once brought him comfort, but he knew would only hurt now.
Finally, he steeled himself and raised his eyes to look at the end of the alleyway. He remembered when he sat here seven years ago and had seen him there; not paying a single mind to the cops as he searched for him. He’d been there when he’d lost everything. He’d always been there. He was the only person who could’ve possibly made Bruce feel like he might survive this horrible, horrible ordeal.
“Tonight’s the anniversary, isn’t that funny?” Bruce said, looking back down to where he tugged at his own gloves, “I lost my parents seven years ago, and this year I—.”
The words caught in his throat and he had to shut his eyes to shove it down enough so he could speak without his voice breaking.
“I wonder if it was this moment—when I sat here and Jim promised me he’d find my parents killer… If this was when I condemned him to be Alfred’s.”
Bruce’s voice trembled and he reached up to roughly brush away the few tears escaping his eyes, although nothing he did could stop the emotions that were overflowing.
“Alfred is… Alfred is dead.”
Just saying it out loud was too much and a sob wrecked through Bruce’s frame before he could pull himself together enough to continue.
“Alfred is dead,” he repeated, just barely able to keep it together this time, “My parents are dead, Selina is gone, and Jim… And Jim Gordon killed the last family I had left. I have lost everyone on this night.”
It was quiet for a moment before it was broken by the sound of the fire escape groaning in protest to added weight. But, Bruce paid it no mind as he looked over and his dark brown eyes connected with impossibly pale ones.
“Oh, Darling,” Jeremiah whispered, “Not everyone.”