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“Away Team to Enterprise, emergency beam out, notify Sick Bay, one injured. It's the Captain.”
“Aye, sir.”
*~*~*~*
“What the hell happened down there?” McCoy demanded as he rushed into the Transporter Room, two medics and a nurse trailing him with a gurney.
“The Captain was scanning a body of water when, when that, lept out and attached itself to him,” a nervous Ensign replied.
“Bones, I feel queasy,” Kirk looked up at him from the floor of the Transporter Room, blue eyes hazy with pain and a hand over his neck.
“Hold on, Jim,” the doctor said gently, squatting down next to him. “Move your hand so I can see. That? “ he addressed the Ensign. “You mean that thing on his neck?”
'That' was a small, brilliant green, worm like thing with its head buried in the skin of the Captain's neck. There was a small smear of bright red blood on the side of Kirk's neck where it was attached and it almost looked like it could be removed with tweezers, but McCoy's scans were showing it was much deeper than it looked. He wouldn't know how deep until he got him into Sick Bay.
“Y-yes sir.”
“I don't feel good, Bones.”
“I can put you out, Jim. Hold on.”
With the hiss of a hypo spray the Captain was out, falling over onto the doctor who cradled him against his body as he lifted him up with the assistance of one of the medics. Together, they placed him on the gurney and the team wasted no time in getting their Captain to Sick Bay.
*~*~*~*
“Scans are showing that it's attached to his spinal column, Doctor.”
“That's odd,” Bones mused. “It's clearly parasitical, and it seems to be feeding off his brain waves. But it honestly doesn't seem to be harming him. All it's doing is pumping a very low grade cortical stimulater into his spinal column, very mildly increasing his brain activity, which is probably what was making him ill. He should be adjusted to it by now, though. Go ahead and wake him up, nurse.”
“Aye, sir.”
*~*~*~*
Jim Kirk opened his eyes to the view of the ceiling of Sick Bay.
“Well, that's not unusual,” he thought.
“What's not unusual, sir? Are you feeling any pain?” the nurse replied.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“Yes, sir. Please tell me if you're feeling any pain.”
“Yikes, Nurse Ratchet, why do I always get her?” Kirk sighed.
“Sir?!” The nurse in question gave an undignified huff.
“Whoa, wait, did I say THAT out loud?” Kirk was beginning to panic.
“Well, I'll be damned,” Dr. McCoy laughed. “It's feeding off your brain waves and spitting out some of what you think as waste. I always knew most of what you said was garbage.”
“Haha, Bones,” Jim responded, turning towards the doctor, only to be facing his backside. “Wow, those uniform pants really cling to your bottom.”
McCoy turned around to face him, one eyebrow raised into his hairline, while Kirk clamped a hand over his mouth.
“I'm going to do my best to figure out how to safely remove this thing from your neck as fast as possible, but it may take a few days. It doesn't seem to be doing you any real harm, unless you count blurting out your thoughts as harmful, which it might be. I'm taking you off duty. I think it might get you in trouble if I don't. But I think you can recoup in quarters.”
Jim wasted no time in hauling himself off the biobed and rushing towards the door, hand still clamped over his mouth, eyes wide.
“Jim! You're not going to argue with me about taking you off duty?” McCoy asked, his brow creased in suspicion.
Jim just shook his head, eyes wide as whatever he would have said was mumbled behind his hand.
“Are you sure you're ok? That thing is increasing your brain activity a bit. It might give you a head ache and make it hard for you to go to sleep. If that happens I want you to come down to Sick Bay and pick up a pain killer or a sleep aide.”
Kirk nodded, more muffled words trying to make a break for it while he angled his body toward the exit, also trying to make a break for it.
“You better call me if anything, and I mean anything, changes. And stay off the bridge!” McCoy yelled at his finally retreating back as he dashed out the door and into the turbo lift. Only then did he risk removing his hand and taking a deep breath.
“Bones, you are sexy as hell when you yell and I am so screwed.”
*~*~*~*
“Captain,” Spock greeted when he had been let into Kirk's cabin the next morning. “I have brought the pain killer you requested. Nurse Phillips was able to requisition it but did warn me that once Dr. McCoy reports for duty, he will want to speak with you about the headache. Why did you not just go to Sick Bay?”
“Because then I'd see Bones and would probably tell him I love him and want to bend him over the nearest surface.”
Kirk clamped his hand over his mouth at the same time that Spock's eyebrow shot up in an undignified expression of shock.
“This is the side effect of the parasite that the doctor mentioned,” Spock stated, clearly fascinated. “Do you say aloud everything that crosses your mind?”
“I'm not sure,” Jim sighed. “I don't usually have to edit myself to begin with. I mean, remember when poor Pavel got that horrible hair cut on Cignus IV? I told him it was bad while I escorted him to the ship's barber. And when he came out? I let him know it would grow back. If there was ever a time to lie, it was then. But Bones...”
“I see. I was aware that your feelings for the good doctor were strong, but I was unaware that they were of a romantic nature. Or, whatever nature you would call 'bending him over the nearest surface.'”
“Oh, it's romantic, and lustful. I want to hold him close, sing him love songs, and do nasty things to him that would make him cry out for more, oh my god please make me stop.”
“Perhaps it would be best if I leave.”
“Yeah, thanks for the hypo, don't tell Bones, it's not that important, bye!”
Jim heaved a despondent sigh once the door to his quarters closed on his First Officer.
“I'm so done for.”
*~*~*~*
“Jim! Glad you finally picked up your comm. I was going to head down there if you didn't in another chime.”
“Hey, Bones,” Kirk said to the doctor on his monitor, and then immediately covered his mouth.
“Are you ok?” McCoy asked with concern. “First you need a pain hypo for a reported headache and now you're freaking out before you've said something off putting. How long have you had the headache?”
Jim braced himself and opened his mouth.
“Since yesterday when I got this thing but I thought it'd go away on it's own,” and promptly covered his mouth and squeezed his lips together making what ever else was trying to explode from him incomprehensible.
“Oooo kaaaay,” McCoy replied carefully. “Are you having any other symptoms? Anything else that feels off? The littlest thing could be important.”
“Nope!” Hand back over mouth.
“Jim,” McCoy rolled his eyes and leaned closer to the monitor. “I doubt you're spitting out anything I haven't heard from you before. It's slow right now. Why don't I come down there and have a drink, keep you company?”
Kirk frantically shook his head in the negative, his eyes wide in panic.
“Well, alright, you don't have to be so adamant,” McCoy chuckled, “I know when I'm not wanted. I'll talk to you later, hopefully to arrange surgery.”
McCoy ended the transmission with another chuckle. Once the screen was blank and Jim knew the transmission had terminated he uncovered his mouth.
“You are so wanted. I want you in my life, in my bed, on my ship, on your knees, on MY knees, for the rest of our lives, even I didn't know how much I think about this, Bones, Bones, Bones, this fucker eats a lot and is pooping out my mouth, isn't that disgusting? Worst first contact ever.”
*~*~*~*
James Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise, lay in the surgical ward of Sick Bay with both hands clamped over his mouth. He was looking up into the hazel eyes of his Chief Medical Officer. Said CMO was leaning over him with a hypo in his hand and an amused smile on his face.
“It's ok, Jim. This little creature really is harmless. Turns out it's simple to remove it, but it's not going to be comfortable so I need to put you under. We'll have him off in a jiffy and back on his home planet feeding off his natural food source. You're probably giving him a tummy ache. But kid, you gotta put your hands down. I need a clear shot for the hypo. Come on, now.”
With much trepidation, Kirk lowered his arms to his side. Just as Bones leaned in, Jim realized he probably should have just lowered one of his arms. But, it was too late.
“You are so beautiful. It's hard every day to not tell you that, and how much I love you, and how you've been my best friend and so very important in my life and how I've dreamed that we would retire together and be together forever and I've always wanted to bang you on a biobed.”
For a moment, McCoy looked surprised, then he rolled his eyes.
“Well, it started romantic, but you had to tell me about wanting to bang me. Not on the Captain's chair?”
“Yes, but it's impossible, the Bridge is always occupied. We could get privacy here.”
“Good to know you're not that big of an exhibitionist.”
Before Jim could say anything else, McCoy pressed the hypo home and blackness came up to claim him.
*~*~*~*
When the blackness receded, Jim became aware of the distant sounds of Sick Bay which meant he was in a private room, and a large, warm hand holding his own. He opened his eyes and looked over to find McCoy next to him.
“There you are,” the other man smiled. “Was wondering when you were going to wake up. Trying to get in some extra sleep before you have to go back on duty, huh?”
“Guess so,” Kirk smiled sleepily, then squeezed the hand in his. “What's this?”
“What? You don't remember what you said before you went under?”
“Well, yes, but I didn't think you'd appreciate it. Hell, Bones, I was hoping you'd pretend it didn't happen.”
“Is that what you really want?” Bones asked, starting to pull back, his demeanor becoming guarded.
“No,” Jim stated with sincerity, clutching the hand in his tighter before he could pull away. “I just thought that's what you would want. I never thought you'd want the same things I want.”
“Well, maybe not everything,” McCoy smiled. “You're not bending me over a biobed. But everything else...”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So, you'll retire with me? Maybe get a little place with a garden? And a dog?”
“How about we start with dinner?”
“Sounds good,” Kirk leered, already thinking of afterwards. “Your place or mine?”
“Mine,” Leonard replied flatly. “My Sick Bay. You're not leaving until tomorrow.”
“What?”
“It's ok, Jim,” McCoy grinned, climbing onto the biobed to hover over the other man. “I'll be here to keep you company.”
Bones kissed Jim, and they started living happily after.
The End