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you got your words
but they make you stuck
now you can't feel
now you can't want
it's just too messy
it's just too thick
is it too scary
or just too real?
\
Becky had a list of people she wanted to murder.
Well, she had to backtrack. Maybe not murder—she wasn’t insane, after all. But she had a list of every single girl that had ever done her dirty.
The girls in the locker room, the naysayers that didn’t believe in her, the newsperson for predicting the weather wrong, even the damn person that cut her off in traffic this morning. She would slap the heads off of every single one of them, and tell them that she was The Man.
But for some reason? Yeah, she had reserved a small spot for a special few. Maybe even one person.
She hadn’t wanted to admit it, of course. The Man had a reputation to uphold, and the girl herself was not a pleasant person to be around. The girl was unbearable, downright nasty, and deceitful as hell. She was selfish and just the right kind of annoying to keep one from sleeping at all—in fear that she might try and sway you just enough to make you jump off a fifty-metre cliff. The girl was everything Becky hated, and more.
And of course, that was the problem.
Because Becky couldn’t help but challenge that notion.
And over the past few months, it became undeniably clear that there was an attraction, a gravitation that made Becky come closer and closer to the girl to know just why that was the case.
Of course, she realized it later after their date, it had been obvious. She liked her. Liked her liked her.
The Man almost wanted to smack herself on the forehead over the absurdity of it all. Why her, of all people? A girl that made her look the fool the entirety of the time they were both on SmackDown? A girl she had no problem teasing and outsmarting for the sake of making a point, of proving she deserved to be champion?
Naturally, she sought advice whenever something was troubling her.
“Finn,” she asked her friend and mentor for all things in life, “I need help. It’s about someone.”
“Judging by the expression on your face,” her old friend said, “it’s about a girl, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“A girl you absolutely can’t stand?”
“Yeah.”
“A girl that has you at your wits’ end?”
“Yeah.”
“A girl you just want to murder and hide the body because that’s how much she annoys you?”
Becky rubbed the back of her head. “Look, I may talk big game, but I’m The Man, not The Sociopath.”
“Oh. Well, that narrows it down by a lot. It’s Alexa, isn’t it?”
“...”
So much for discretion.
But of course, it must have been obvious to him in more ways than one. She had told him about her, and he had been aware of their history together as well as their resentment for another. Initially wary of Alexa, he had become intrigued by their interactions over the course of several months, until finally it had seemed obvious that there was something going on beneath the surface.
But of course, Becky was in denial.
“Finn,” she said, squeezing her temple in exasperation, “I can’t possibly like her.”
“Would it be so surprising considering the circumstances? You’re both finally on the same page.”
“All she does is tease me.”
“That’s called flirting, lass.”
“She tried to take my WrestleMania spot.”
He shrugged. “Old habits die hard.”
“She would kill me if she had the chance.”
“But she hasn’t killed you yet, has she?”
“No...”
“I’m just saying. You two literally went on a date.”
Becky glared at him. “I needed a favor.”
“And yet, you asked Alexa of all people for it.”
The amount of scary energy that Becky exuded from deep within her core made Finn cower back for the locker rooms.
But he had made a point, and it was hopeless to deny it any longer. Since arriving on Raw, there had been more than one occasion where Becky had spoken to Lexi, and despite trying to play it cool, despite trying to be cunning about it, it had been Becky that sought out Alexa in the end.
Reciprocating her advances, and playing that game of theirs.
Every. Single. Time.
Being clueless suited someone else, but not The Man. The more and more she mulled over this revelation, the more she tolerated the idea of this weird and strange relationship she had with Little Miss Bliss.
Perhaps, she had been more than okay with it in the end.
Until it reached a fervor point. All thanks to herself.
Becky sighed. They were going to have to talk about that soon. If only she could find the puny brat first.
It had been easier than she thought when she heard the girl make her announcement tonight on Raw.
She came across the girl, now host of WrestleMania, walking with a spring in her step as soon as the show was over. Becky had worn a pleased smile, maybe caught staring too long at her former rival and the outfit she wore tonight. She would have to let her know that she was always on point when it came to her and her terrible show. Becky at least liked to think The Man wasn’t that mean. She had waited until the girl was close enough within hearing distance.
“Hey, Alexa—”
Who then quickly walked past her. As unassuming as she could be in her situation.
Becky blinked at the sudden dismissal.
Well that’s a first, she thought glumly.
But then she saw the other girl pause, contemplating one thought—maybe one too many thoughts—before groaning in defeat. Becky had wondered just what was going on in that little blonde head of hers, when Alexa slowly glanced over her shoulder, as though her neck were a crank that wouldn’t budge unless you forced it through sheer strength. She glared at her.
“Well? Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna follow me?”
Becky bit the inside of her cheek. On second thought, maybe it was better if they left this alone…
But curiosity was a dangerous game that Becky loved to play, and unfortunately this had been no exception. Last week had only left her cranky to try and fill her standard Lexi quota, and it felt like forever since they were alone together, even if it had only been some days.
And then, Becky thought, maybe she could finally focus on the bigger task at hand—like winning her big match at WrestleMania—rather than mull over tedious matters like this.
At least, she hoped to.
She cursed under her breath. With that, she followed Alexa where she went.
\
Some time ago, just before their feuding days, Becky remembered when Alexa came to SmackDown for the first time. Just hot off the heels of her grand debut, she had gained the upper hand on the Lass Kicker when she wasn’t looking, and snuck a surprise win on her.
Looking back, it was a dumb way to win, a total fluke. But Becky was a girl scout back then, and she liked to get along with people when she could. She decided to congratulate her afterwards.
“Hey Alexa!”
The other girl glared at her. She was much different from before when they were in NXT. The pixie dust was gone, for one. And Becky was aware of the attitude change she had undergone since she left the yellow brand. But just how much she had changed had gone unnoticed to Becky, and perhaps for that, it was naive of her to have thought she could get along with someone so problematic.
Still, it didn’t stop her from trying.
Becky grinned. “Just wanted to say congrats on your win. Great finisher, too! I look forward to fighting you again.”
She stuck out her hand. Alexa continued to glare at her sideways, displeased at the entire encounter already. She gave her a once over before shaking her head.
“It was my pleasure putting you in your place. Maybe next time you’ll give me something to actually work for. I’ll see you soon enough.”
She left Becky hanging, her hand feeling a little less warmer than before.
The Lass Kicker remembered replaying the moment again and again on her way home. She had a lot to prove to everyone—even the newcomers. It was going to be tough now that she was with so many good wrestlers.
You’re the least relevant out of all of us.
What have you ever done? Nothing.
You don’t deserve the opportunity.
Becky gritted her teeth. The words came like a flood, overfilling reservoirs of her memory bank. These were things she had already heard a thousand times before. Back at NXT, back at the academy, back in Ireland.
The words were like an anchor, sinking and weighing into her ceaselessly.
Maybe next time, Alexa smirked, a brewing fire in her eyes that was not unlike her own, you’ll give me something to work for.
Challenge hanging carefully on her curved lips. Gazing over her shoulder, with a hint of anticipation.
I’ll be seeing you soon enough.
Becky smiled.
She was the first woman to be drafted to SmackDown for a reason. Becky was going to make sure they remembered why. And she was determined to show Alexa—to show all of them—just exactly who the Irish Lass Kicker was.
\
Becky blinked back the memory again. She and Alexa were both outside in a quaint little coffee shop just outside of town. Because according to Lexi, “I’m gonna need plenty of coffee before we get started, Bex.” And an immediate sigh of understanding left her body before she could even register it.
Because finally, that was something both she and her could actually agree on for once.
It should have felt typical now that they’d end up in each other’s graces—they had a knack of doing that as of late for the past several months—but Becky had almost begun to feel raw just being in her presence again.
Whether it was one of bitterness and anger or not was out of the question.
Because let’s face it, Becky always had a bit of resentment over the girl for a lot of things. And that made her realize that perhaps what had happened between them last week was a big mistake on her part. And all kinds of fucked up in her head when she really had to think about it.
But ever since the fallout between her and her former best friend, Becky like to think all the sensibilities she had left in the world had been cast aside a long time ago, like measly sand down a lonely sieve and into an empty abyss.
Perhaps in part thanks to several people she met along the way.
Namely, Alexa Bliss.
“Here,” the girl handed her a cup of coffee, and Becky took it with earnest. Still, that didn’t mean it didn’t amuse her from time to time to see just how different Alexa could be outside the ring. The Man smirked.
“You shouldn’t have.”
Alexa rolled her eyes at her, a blush creeping its way up her cheeks. “Don’t even start.”
Ironically she was amazed at how far they both had come.
If you had asked Becky two years ago that she’d be friends with Alexa Bliss, of all people, she would have laughed in your face. Because that idea was almost as hilarious as her beating the piss out of the annoying elf. But life had a funny way of bringing people together, and the mutual understanding that they both came to ended up being in the form of a mutual hate for a certain bad bitch.
Perhaps it was true what they said about the enemy of your enemy.
But maybe they had inadvertently taken that to the next level.
She looked at Alexa, who refused to look her in the eye. Every now and then, she awkwardly brought her lips to the coffee cup. Becky had to blink away the memory once more just to function.
“I’m surprised we haven’t once shared an insult in the last half hour,” Becky chimed, mainly to fill the void with something else that felt a little like discomfort and more like them. “Nice, breezy evening—”
“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?”
Becky pursed her lips to the side. “By all means.”
“I don’t like you.”
“Okay.”
“In fact, I hate you.”
“Right.”
“And the only reason I kissed you was because you kissed me.”
Becky rolled her eyes so hard, she could almost feel them rotate off their axes.
“You are truly oblivious, aren’t you, love? I mean, being a blonde and all, I always knew you were a bit empty from the neck up, but I thought you still kept some of your wits about you. I guess Ronnie must have beat the rest of it out of you some time ago.”
Alexa chuckled. “That’s cute. Especially coming from the girl who actually believed her bosses would give her everything she wanted and more. Real smart trusting the McMahons there, ‘love.’”
“God, again with this?”
“You started it!”
“I beg to differ, you insufferable child!”
“Self-centered halfwit!”
“Unbearable wretch!”
“Ego-brained troll!”
“Spoiled brat!”
“Dumbass!”
“Bitch!”
Alexa stared at her. Then laughed bitterly, shaking her head.
“Should have known this was a stupid idea,” she muttered, before getting up to leave. “I guess I am dumb. Looks like you were right after all, congrats.”
Becky was speechless. At any other time, The Man would have been proud of herself for winning their battles. But there was something in the other girl’s eyes that Becky didn’t want to see, and she was taken aback by the brief window of vulnerability.
As though Alexa knew that things would never change between them.
The door of the shop chimed behind her, and Becky sat alone in disbelief.
You done fucked up, lass.
She cursed under her breath. When she heard the door close, she didn’t think twice about it.
“Alexa, wait!”
The girl paid no attention. She was already across the street from her.
“Fuck!” Becky said, barely dodging traffic. “Alexa!”
“Don’t bother.”
“Just wait a damn second.”
“Go away.”
“Lexi...”
“Can you not?” She pushed Becky’s hand off her shoulder.
“Look. I just... I can’t, alright?”
Alexa scoffed, her voice sounding bitter and dry, so unlike the blue in her eyes that shimmered slightly. “Why? It’s not hard.”
Becky was starting to believe that wasn’t true anymore.
”You can just leave me alone and not bother with any of this,” Alexa said. “We could just pretend we don’t like each other and move on. We could forget that any of this even happened.”
She was right, Becky thought, they could just forget it all—Lexi was even being kind enough to do that for her just this once. They could have just continued where they left off—loathing each other like they always did, like they pretended they did without a hint of admiration—and just allowed the world to sit right and balanced. It would have been sense, because the way things were now? They weren’t right at all. And they were confusing and messy and all kinds of wrong—even The Man, or the Lass Kicker, or whatever she was now, could see that clearly.
So why wouldn’t she let this go?
Old habits die hard, she heard Finn say.
Give me something to work for, she heard Alexa say.
Becky slowly shook her head, and stayed quiet.
The other girl looked away, hands balling into tight fists.
“I don’t know how to do this, Becky. You could make my life easier, for crying out loud. So why won’t you let me?”
“Because you like me too.”
She expected a slap, a punch to the gut, anything really that deserved the words that came out her mouth in that instant.
But she had found none. And instead, found something else far more astounding.
The words of protest were lost on her when the other girl practically threw herself on her—Becky almost had to hold them both together from the offset of weight on her lap. But in an old and dusty alley, just outside the arena they left, across a quaint little coffee shop where their drinks sat cold and alone, both Becky and Alexa were sprawled in a tangle, staring wide-eyed at each other.
“D-did you just—”
But Becky couldn’t finish what she wanted to say. The other girl had leaned in far too quickly for her to do anything about it. Her lips met hers again, soft but harsh, like two opposing forces, like two vines wrapping together in itself.
Finally connecting. Finally attuned to the other’s nature.
//