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The River
The first time Hoseok sees him, it's around two in the morning one Misty night alongside the Han River.
Hoseok had just come from work, covering his friend Jimin's shift so he and his boyfriend Yoongi could celebrate their two year anniversary together. He wasn't expecting to see anyone else out this late, and he certainly wasn't expecting to have to move out of the way of a nighttime biker who didn't even have the common sense to wear anything reflective.
It's enough of a surprise to make him stumble, to have him gape after the retreating form almost stupidly in his disbelief. It's still cold out for God's sake. Certainly too cold for night time bike riding.
Shaking his head, Hoseok is just about to put it out of his head, to call the figure clad in black a minor hallucination, when there's a soft sound of a bell dinging in front of him.
And there he is.
The man that nearly ran him down (It's an over exaggeration, he's tired , okay?) Is paused on the sidewalk, seemingly waiting for Hoseok to catch up to him, which would be nice if Hoseok wasn't suddenly terribly afraid this man might be a murderer. Not that he thinks a murderer would necessarily be using a pedal bike or wearing what looks to be a Navy cardigan, soft looking slacks and a bucket hat.
After all, Hoseok is wearing some multicolored sweater, skinny jeans and converse, and he doesn't exactly think he looks intimidating but he'd still kick this guy's ass if he does end up being a murderer. Or he'll try at least, but now that he's closer, it's very very clear that this guy has a few inches on Hoseok.
“Please don't murder me, I'm too tired to die.” Hoseok practically pleads, trying to peer under the bucket hat to get a good look at this guy just in case .
Just in case of what, he isn't exactly sure.
“I was actually just going to say that I was sorry for nearly hitting you back there.” Potential murderer says, and Hoseok wonders briefly what it says about him that he thinks this guy has a nice speaking voice.
“Oh.” Hoseok kind of feels like an asshole now, maybe he should apologize. “I'm sorry for assuming the worst of you,I guess.”
He's not really sorry, but what bike guy doesn't know won't hurt him.
Bike guy barks out a laugh, quite literally, a loud HaHa! that Hoseok isn't sure he's ever heard from someone unless they were being sarcastic. Hoseok isn't sure he's ever heard someone sound so much like the definition of laughter before.
“Don't be sorry, it's probably for the best anyways.” Bike guy is quick to reassure Hoseok, not that he has to, really. “ You never know who you'll run into this late at night.”
Speaking of late-
“ Sorry to cut this short,” Hoseok isn't, he really isn't, “But I really need to get home. It's late.”
“Shit. I'm sorry again, I'll let you get going.” Bike guy pushes himself back onto the seat of his bike, turns the handlebars and starts heading back in the direction that he came from. “Get home safe!”
“You too?” Hoseok calls back much too late, hears another bark of laughter and a gentle dingding from the bell that much have been hidden in the shadows. It's both comforting and silly enough to make Hoseok laugh incredulously, enough to have Bike guy stay on Hoseok’s mind well after he makes his way home.
In fact, Bike guy stays on Hoseok’s mind for the better part of a week, especially after Jimin begs Hoseok to cover his shift one more time.
When Hoseok walks home that night sweaty, wearing baggier clothes than before and cursing Park Jimin's name, he isn't aware of just how much he was hoping to run into Bike guy until nothing happens.
There's no dinging of bells, no blunt loud laughter, no rushed apologies or thoughts of murder.
There's Hoseok, there's the darkness, and he's alone.
It's stupid, but as Hoseok heads home much quicker than he had last time, he finds that he's-
Disappointed.
--
The Library
Jeon Jungkook is sometimes the bane of Hoseok' existence.
He loves the younger boy like a brother, would do absolutely anything for him, including and not limited to letting Jungkook live with him when dorm costs at college got too expensive, and Jungkook stopped by after weeks of Hoseok, Yoongi and Jimin wondering where the hell he had been.
They'd opened the door to find Jungkook skinnier than they'd ever seen him with bags under his eyes, his skin paler than it should have been, and a desperate look in his eyes.
(“ Please, Hobi-hyung.” Jungkook had whispered while Jimin and Yoongi started a meal in Hoseok's kitchen, a quiet desperation in his voice, “Can I Stay with you?”
Hoseok had said yes right away and never looked back, would never look back.)
Days like today make Hoseok miss the calm that had come with living in an apartment by himself, when he didn't have to do things like make sure the kitchen stayed fully stocked (Jungkook is just barely 22, and still insists he's a growing boy) upgrade the internet, or have to catch a bus to the school campus to bring Jungkook a book he needs for his English tutoring.
Hoseok loves him though, wants him to be able to grow and succeed, so here he is, walking through a campus he hasn't been to in almost three years to bring Jungkook his book.
It's easy enough to find the Library, harder though to find Jungkook in the middle of the absolute chaos that the library holds.
There's a line of students almost completely out the doorway that Hoseok has to squeeze through which is easy enough, but once he's inside it seems like every table is full and he can't find Jungkook. Only when he searches around in the back where they keep the comfortable chairs does he have any luck.
“Hyung!” A familiar voice calls from behind him, and it has Hoseok turning with a grin. “ Thank you so much for coming.”
“Like I would let my little Jungkookie go without,” Hoseok teases, stepping closer to ruffle Jungkook's hair even if he is taller than Hoseok now.
Jungkook allows the petting for about ten seconds, then starts swatting Hoseok's hand away, instead pulling his Hyung close and smushing Hoseok’s beanie into his hair so when Jungkook pulls the hat off, Hoseok's hair is standing on end.
When there's a stifled chuckle behind them both, Hoseok remembers that Jungkook wasn't going to be alone in the library, feels his cheeks redden like he just downed a beer. It's the hardest thing he's had to do in a while, turn around and face the person who just caught him acting half his damn age. He's an adult for fucks sake, he should know better
“Sorry about that,” Hoseok says before turning, surprised to find a man that looks around his own age grinning at the two of them. Jungkook sits down next to who must be the tutor, who is looking at Hoseok like he's seen him before. “Do I know you?”
The man smiles in a way Hoseok can't really explain, but it shows off the hidden dimples that make Hoseok a little bit weak in the knees.
“I don't think so, not really.” The man admits, running a hand sheepishly through his dark hair. His voice sounds vaguely familiar to Hoseok, but he can't place it. “I'm Namjoon, Jungkook-ah's tutor for this semester.”
“He's also my friend, he just always leaves that part out. Namjoon-Hyung, that's my Hoseok-Hyung, he takes good care of me.” Jungkook snorts on a laugh, opening the book that Hoseok brought for him and pulling out his notebook. “I'll see you at home later, Hyung.”
“You live together?” Namjoon looks between the two of them almost curiously, Hoseok chokes down the sudden urge to tell Namjoon that they aren't like that, that they'll never be like that, but Jungkook beats him to it.
He elbows Namjoon In the ribs and mumbles something about there being someone else, realization dances across Namjoon's face. It's a good face, Hoseok has to admit.
He feels like he's overstayed his welcome though, so he mumbles out a quick goodbye that Jungkook returns and turns to head out when he's caught off guard by a laugh he's been thinking about for the last two weeks now.
Its enough to have Hoseok turn back immediately, but when all he sees is an almost exuberantly happy Namjoon, he makes himself leave the library, makes himself go home and stop thinking about that damn late night biker.
--
Hoseok, when he isn't busy working with Jimin at the dance studio works part-time at a pet store on the weekends. Usually one of his friends stop in and bring him dinner, which is always nice.
It's why he isn't exactly surprised to see Namjoon walk in one afternoon, but he is surprised to see a very beautiful man wrapped tight in Namjoon's arms, tears streaming down his face.
Without thinking about it, Hoseok pulls out the small container of tissues he keeps in his pocket and slides it over the counter when they approach.
At first, it doesn't look like the man will let go long enough to wipe his face off, but he slowly peels himself off of Namjoon and grabs the tissues, tries to smile at Hoseok, but his lips are wobbling too hard. Before he can open his mouth to offer his help, Namjoon starts talking instead.
“One of my Hyung's pets passed away,” Namjoon explains softly, but the way the other man tenses shows that he heard anyways. “We've been to a few pet stores and none of them have been able to help us. Jungkook said to come here.”
“I'll do my best to help you,” Hoseok says to Namjoon's Hyung. “My name is Hoseok, how can I help you?”
“One of my sugar gliders-” The Man's eyes close briefly before he visibly shakes himself. “My name is Seokjin, do you have any Sugar Gliders available?”
“We have one left, a cream color.” Hoseok steps out from behind the counter, ignores the way Namjoon looks relieved and gestures for Seokjin to follow. “We actually only have him because he's a return. His previous owners didn't realize they'd need two for Gukmool to really thrive. Do you have another glider?”
“Yeah, Odeng.” Seokjin sucks in a shuddering breath, but when Hoseok risks a glance, he's surprised to find him smiling. “He's lonely and sad, you were really my last hope.”
“I'm glad I could help then,” Hoseok admits, stopping in front of Gukmool's cage. It takes a dehydrated yogurt treat to get him to stick his nose out, but once he sees Seokjin, the little creature crawls out of his hidey hole and presses his nose against the bars, snuffling softly. “He must smell the other glider on you.”
Seokjin presses his fingers to the cage, offers Hoseok a smile when he and over the treat bag to him. They both hold their breath while Seokjin offers the treat and Gukmool sniffs around Seokjin's fingers for a while. Eventually he takes the treat and goes about his business, but there's a determination that wasn't there before on Seokjin's face.
“I want him.” Seokjin turns to Hoseok, eyes swollen and with the most serious look Hoseok has seen from him yet. “Please, can I take him home today?”
“If you come sign the paperwork then you can take him home in ten minutes,” Hoseok offers, momentarily blinded by the bright smile Seokjin sends him.
“Yes please,” Seokjin heads for the counter, leaving Hoseok blinking after him almost stupidly, left in the metaphorical dust.
“That's the first time I've seen him really smile this whole week,” Namjoon mumbles from somewhere next to Hoseok.
Hoseok practically jumps out of his skin. He hadn't even known Namjoon was next to him, and he spins around clutching a hand to his chest. Apparently, his face must be doing something hilarious, because Namjoon barks out that same familiar laughter and Hoseok is blindsided for the second time today.
Instead of answering Namjoon, Hoseok practically runs to the front of the store to get the paperwork for Seokjin, who seems to be feeling more and more excited as time goes by.
Luckily the paperwork is pretty self explanatory because Hoseok really isn't paying attention, is way too wrapped up in the realization that Namjoon and Bike guy are the same person. Hoseok has so many questions that he can't ask, and before he knows it, he's putting Gukmool in a cardboard travel case and handing Seokjin complementary yogurt drops, and before Hoseok decides to ask Namjoon about it or not, they're walking out the door together.
It only occurs to Hoseok when he watches the two of them walk away arm in arm, that maybe Namjoon wouldn't remember him from that night anyways. That would probably be the more logical situation anyways.
That doesn't explain why it makes Hoseok so disappointed.
The Party
It's the surprise of a lifetime when Yoongi's the one to invite Hoseok to a party of all things.
“ You want me to go to a party with you?” Hoseok frowns at his oldest friend, shaking his head in disbelief. “Hyung, are you sure ?”
Yoongi rolls his shoulders in a shrug, and anyone else would think he looked absolutely calm, but Hoseok isn't just anyone.
Hoseok was Yoongi's first serious boyfriend, they spent four years of their life together before they realized that their love had faded to something gentler, more friendship worthy than lovers. They'd had an amicable breakup, and a year later Yoongi met Jimin and learned what love was for himself. Hoseok loves Jimin, but mostly he loves how Jimin makes Yoongi feel.
Which is why he just knows that Yoongi still isn't entirely comfortable with the idea of a party.
Too many people, too little inhibitions make Yoongi a little bit anxious, and sometimes having a few people he knows can make it better, which is why he's asking Hoseok.
“Will you go?” Yoongi's voice is soft when he asks, not quite pleading but not too far from it, but he'd still understand if Hoseok said no.
“Of course I'll go,” Hoseok clasps a hand on Yoongi's shoulder and beams, the smile that let's Yoongi know he's perfectly fine. “ Like you could stop me from going to a party.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes and bats Hoseok's hand away, “Like I could stop you at all.”
They both know he could.
They both know he would never would.
Hoseok simply grins, because they both know that Hoseok is the same way. It's how they always have been, how they probably always will be.
It's better this way.
--
The party is crazy by the time Hoseok finally makes it there. There are people dancing on the front lawn of someone's house, the front door is wide open, and the bass is thumping so loud that Hoseok can feel it a street over.
He'd gotten a text from Jimin not even a half hour ago letting him know where to find them in the mass, so Hoseok grabs himself a drink (promises himself that it'll be his only drink, he's a lightweight) and attempts to find his friends.
It doesn't end up being that hard to find them, not when Hoseok spots Jungkook in the middle of a dance circle doing something obscenely indecent while being practically on top of Namjoon's Seokjin. Hoseok is about to head over to make the kid stop, but he realizes that Seokjin seems okay with the attention, and decides to try and find Namjoon instead.
What he ends up finding after pushing through the writhing mass of bodies however, is an almost relaxed Yoongi dancing up against Jimin, the two of them swaying side to side and stuck together like they're the only two in the room. Neither of them notice him, so Hoseok downs the rest of his drink and decides to dance instead. He can say hi later, he doesn't want to interrupt.
Instead, Hoseok loses himself to the music in ways that make him feel like the bass is inside him, until his body is dripping in sweat and he loses track of the hands that have been on him, or the bodies his hands have touched until someone is whispering in his ear.
It's slow to come back to himself, it always is when he relaxes into dance, but he comes back to find hands lightly gripping his waist, his arms around someone else's neck, callused thumbs rubbing against hipbones Hoseok doesn't remember showing as much as they are right now, to familiar hooded eyes staring intently down at him.
While Hoseok blinks slowly, Namjoon's lips curl up into a soft smile that Hoseok hasn't seen from him yet, but finds himself wanting to see it more and more the longer he stares.
Namjoon leans down to speak into Hoseok's ear, “Are you okay? You looked a little bit out of it.” It's hard to ignore the warmth from Namjoon's breath, or the subtle woodsy smell of him when they're pressed this close, and Hoseok can't help but wonder if Namjoon rode his bike here or not.
When the room doesn't stop spinning after a few more seconds, Hoseok finds himself blinking up at Namjoon a little more unsure than he had known he was feeling.
“I feel a little weird.” Hoseok admits softly, surprised when Namjoon's smile drops, replaced with a small concerned frown instead.
Namjoon releases the hold on Hoseok's waist, takes one of his hands instead and starts leading him towards the front door, Hoseok's steps wobbly and unsure.
He knows this feeling, knows this foggy headedness more than he would like to admit, remembers nights of Yoongi having to try and peel him off the bathroom floor.
“I'm drunk!’ Hoseok cries, shaking his head incredulously, which is a huge mistake, because now he's clinging to Namjoon in an effort to keep himself upright while struggling not to vomit and he's so fucking embarrassed, oh my God.
“ Don't be embarrassed,” Namjoon is quick to reassure, Hoseok must have said that out loud, his steady hands keeping Hoseok upright, “It's why I asked in the first place. Taehyung makes some brutal party punch. How much did you have?”
“One glass,” Hoseok moans, fanning his cheeks while Namjoon supports most of his weight. “I don't drink often.”
“I guess not,” The amusement in Namjoon's voice is offset by the concern that Hoseok can see on his face even in this state. “That's not a bad thing, but maybe you should stay away from hard liquor and stick to beer.”
“I bet you like craft beer,” Hoseok muses mostly to himself, but still out loud. He starts to cackle when Namjoon blushes and refuses to agree or deny the allegation, sags against the taller man.
Namjoon grumbles something that Hoseok can't hear, and when he pulls back to ask what he said, Hoseok spots a worried looking Yoongi heading their way.
Once Yoongi sees Hoseok he seems to relax a little bit, until he notices how Hoseok is swaying and that Namjoon is holding him up.
“Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi doesn't say more than that but he doesn't have to, Hoseok can hear the disappointment and the concern in only his name, and he hangs his head.
“M'sorry, Hyung.” Hoseok sighs, wringing his hands together in front of himself. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Yoongi worry, he'd always hated making him worry. “Didn't mean to.”
“ He said he had a cups worth, but he had the punch and spent a while dancing after. I took him outside to get some air.” Hoseok must imagine the way Namjoon's hands tighten briefly where they're holding him, because when he glances up at him, Namjoon is smiling pleasantly.
“You're so good, Namjoon-ah.” Yoongi grins gummily, the only tell that he's more close to tipsy than it seems.
“I was going to be heading home soon, I figured I could drop off Hoseok-ssi at his place.” Namjoon shrugs, gestures over at a tree. “I brought my bike and I didn't drink.”
Hoseok giggles, tried to cover it up by coughing. He doesn't think either of them fell for it.
“Hoseok can take himself home,” Hoseok grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly when it's clear neither of them are going to ask if it's okay that Namjoon helps him home.
When Namjoon let's go of him without a warning, Hoseok finds himself tipping over, stumbling to the side a few steps before Namjoon grabs hold of him again.
“Whoever Taehyung is, he's the actual devil.” Hoseok complains, stomping his foot so Yoongi and Namjoon know he's serious. “ What's in that punch?”
“Vodka. A lot of vodka.” A voice Hoseok doesn't recognize answers, a man he's never seen before walks over to Yoongi and drapes an arm around him. “I'm Taehyung, by the way. Jungkook says you're my Hyung.”
“Nice to meet you I think,” Hoseok blinks blearily at Taehyung, tries to ignore how suddenly exhausted he feels and how warm Namjoon is.
The warmth seeps into him and Hoseok let's the world fade into the background where it belongs, and everything is at once blissful and pleasant.
“I'm so sorry, Joon-ah.”
Hoseok vaguely registers Yoongi's voice, feels the rumble of a reply against his ear, smells the scent of a forest in the middle of Autumn and fades into the darkness.
--
Hoseok wakes up comfortably warm in a blanket that smells amazing, a radio turned down low in the background, and a raspy voice singing along to the music.
It's a wonderful way to wake up, so perfect that Hoseok would almost think that he dreamt up the situation.
Except-
Bits and pieces of the night before start coming back to him, the drink he practically inhaled, the dancing and the random bodies, the way Namjoon took him outside. Yoongi showing up, someone named-
Taemin? Tannie? Taehyung?
Something.
And then he woke up here, and Hoseok is starting to realize that he's not entirely sure where “here” is. He knows Yoongi wouldn't have let him go home with just anyone , but the list is short, and he's pretty sure he's not in Jimin's apartment.
The voice hasn't stopped singing, and if he listens hard enough, Hoseok can hear the clickclickclick of dog paws on the floor.
Eventually, he makes himself open his eyes, squints against the sunlight streaming into the room and just-
Looks.
There's a picture smiling at him from a bedside table, her eyes sharp and familiar, her arms wrapped around a man that Hoseok assumes is her husband. There's an Epik High poster on the corner of one of the bedroom walls, a bonsai tree in wonderful health, a large aquarium that seems to have nothing in it except for hermit crabs, and a bookshelf full to the brim of every genre of book Hoseok can think of off the top of his head. On the other wall are photos of some of Hoseok's friends, Jungkook and Yoongi are there, Seokjin and Jimin too, and a slightly familiar looking man with a box smile.
If there was any doubt before, it's not there now.
He's in Namjoon's place, potentially in Namjoon's room and he doesn't know what to do .
Does he just leave, does he stay and thank Namjoon for not being a creep and taking care of him?
Does he apologize for being an inconvenience and vow to make it up to him?
Does he sneak out and pretend nothing ever happen?
The decision is made for him when the bedroom door starts to open from where it was pulled closed, but not latched. All that happens though is that a white and fluffy dog head peers into the bedroom, and Hoseok relaxes back against the bed.
The dog enters the room and trots over to the bed happily, jumping up and completely ignoring Hoseok, curling up into a ball at the end of it and groaning in content.
After inwardly cooing for a moment, Hoseok makes himself get up out of the bed, realizes he doesn't recognize the clothes he has on and tries to ignore the shame stirring in his stomach.
It's easy enough for Hoseok to head for the door, but once he's there it's like there's a barrier stopping him from heading towards what must be Namjoon singing down the hallway. Eventually, he gathers the courage and follows the noise until he finds himself in the kitchen, but that's not what has him pausing in the doorway.
It is Namjoon singing, and it's Namjoon wearing an apron and shaking his hips with a spatula in his hands and his hair sticking up in all directions.
It's Namjoon heating rice for two, frying four eggs and wondering out loud if Hoseok likes his yolk runny.
It's Namjoon wearing a complete set of fuzzy pajamas and somehow looking good while doing it, and it's Namjoon that smiles over his shoulder when Hoseok clears his throat to let Namjoon know he's awake and here.
“Good, you found your way alright.” Namjoon grins at Hoseok briefly before turning back to the food, humming now instead of singing, and Hoseok is a little overwhelmed.
“ I just followed the music,” Hoseok admits quietly, taking a step into the kitchen. “Look, Namjoon-ah-”
“I hope you don't mind that I brought you here.” Namjoon plates the food and gestures for Hoseok to join him at the table, and when he does, Namjoon continues. “You kind of passed out on me, scared the shit out of Yoongi-Hyung. He probably blew up your phone, but I assured him that I wouldn't let you choke to death in your sleep.” Namjoon snorts, scooping up a mouthful of food and taking a massive bite.
Hoseok hadn't realized just how hungry he was until he started to eat, he thanks Namjoon for the food and practically inhales the bowl of rice and the two eggs.
When he finishes and Namjoon is still eating his own, Hoseok takes the opening.
“ I'm really sorry about yesterday.” It's not as hard as Hoseok thought it might be to get the words out, he feels better once he apologized.
“Don't be, we've all been there.” Namjoon is quick to reassure, “I can guarantee I've seen worse.”
Hoseok doesn't answer, simply quirks a brow.
“Taehyung rarely drinks, but when he does it's about ten times worse than yesterday.” Namjoon shudders, standing to collect their dishes and heading over to the sink. “It's messy, and he's not always lucky enough to wake up in a friends bed.”
“We're friends?” The question is out of his lips before Hoseok can stop himself, but before he can backpedal, Namjoon is laughing.
“Seems like it.” Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head. “Our friends are all basically dating, and we've run into each other enough.”
“Three times is enough?”
It's been four, really. Hoseok just doesn't know if Namjoon remembers-
“Ah, it's actually been four.” Namjoon is red faced when he turns back to Hoseok. “ A few weeks back, you saw a guy at night on a bike? That was the first time we met.”
Relief.
“You're Bike guy?” It feels awfully good to ask that out loud, to finally have confirmation that he's been right this whole time.
“Yeah, I am.” Namjoon shuffles nervously and the kitchen falls into a slightly awkward silence until:
“ How did you know I liked craft beer?” Namjoon asks, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Hoseok can't help it, doesn't even try to stop himself.
He laughs.
And laughs.
And laughs.
The Competition
Jimin and Hoseok have spent the better part of the last three years dancing together in the studio, but they've always been partnered with someone else for the little competitions their studio would have with other studios in the city. It's part of the reason why they're both caught so off guard when they see their names paired together for the next one.
“This is good though, right Hyung?” Jimin is practically vibrating with energy next to Hoseok, his eyes crinkled with the intensity of his smile. “If they want us together then it must be for something important.”
“Maybe the other studio has some new recruits they want to show off.” Hoseok sighs heavily, drapes an arm over Jimin's shoulder and tries to absorb some of the excitement Jimin is quite obviously feeling. “Competitions make me a little antsy, Chim.”
Hoseok has been a dancer his entire life, even before he started getting the lessons that helped get him to where he is now. But he never managed to grow out of the neurosis that came with the desire to be better , to push himself harder each time until he was battered and bruised but ultimately on top. Already, Hoseok was focused more on what would be more impressive, how convenient it was that his and Jimin's style were so similar and still so different because they could show off and still work together . They know each other well enough to be able to do that, and it means they don't have to waste time teaching new tricks to their partners. They've already been doing that for years.
Hoseok blinks back to himself just in time to watch Jimin's lips turn down into a pout that's only a little bit exasperated.
“You weren't listening to me at all, were you?” Jimin raises a brow, looks at Hoseok like he's daring him to say otherwise.
Hoseok sighs, shakes his head apologetically. “Let Hyung buy you dinner? I'm sorry, Jiminie. You know how I get when this happens.”
Jimin does know, has been the only one able to pull Hoseok out of the practice room, has been the one to help him into a tub of warm water and rub medicated lotion on aching muscles. Jimin knows , and that's what has him softening.
“We're in this together, Hoseokkie-Hyung. I won't let you forget that.” Jimin's worried, there's a crease on his forehead that makes Hoseok automatically feel guilty. “Raincheck on dinner though? I told Hyungie that I'd be home so he could cook for us.”
“Yoongi-Hyung is a really good cook,” Hoseok nods, playfully ushering Jimin towards the doorway. “You don't want to be late.”
“I'm sending Jungkookie after you if I don't hear from you.” Jimin threatens, waggling a finger in Hoseok's direction. “Don't think you can distract me with talk of my boyfriend and food.”
Hoseok rolls his eyes, squeezes Jimin back when he wraps Hoseok in a hug, and sends him on his way. “You don't have to do that Jimin, I have self control.”
“Sure, so save some choreo for me, okay?” Jimin agrees a little bit mockingly, so Hoseok sticks his tongue out, listens to Jimin laugh all the way down the hall until he disappears into the outside world and Hoseok quickly shuts the door behind himself.
There's already the perfect track playing in his head that Hoseok can picture the perfect dance for them to work on.
He puts music on, closes his eyes and let's the beat pump through his body until he feels like he's floating, until he's grinning and Hoseok begins to move.
Until he dances.
--
Time passes fluidly in the studio, it always does and it's always hard for Hoseok to come out of that heady feeling, especially when it's more likely than not that full hours have passed without him taking a break.
At first he's not sure what has him stopping, what has him bending over until his hands are braced on his knees and he realizes he's practically gasping for breath.
What Hoseok does realize is that he's absolutely dripping with sweat, he tugs off the long sleeved shirt and nearly moans when the air hits his damp skin.
“Christ, Hyung.” A voice mumbles from the doorway, but Hoseok is too tired to even think of jumping in surprise, so he settles for flopping a hand in the direction of the door.
By the time Hoseok feels steady enough to glance over, he finds Jungkook, which isn't too surprising since that's exactly what Jimin threatened him with.
What is surprising is that Jungkook isn't alone like he usually is when he visits the studio. Instead, Seokjin is behind him looking more worried than he should be, and behind him is none other than-
“Namjoon?” Hoseok pushes himself up so he's mostly standing now, and breathing is coming a little bit easier to him. “What are you all doing here?”
It's glaringly quiet in the studio, Hoseok wonders when the music stops and how he managed to miss it. He also thinks that he's grateful Jimin knows him well enough to send an actual cavalry after him.
“We're collecting you,” Jungkook crosses his arms and takes a step further into the studio u til he's closer to Hoseok, wrinkling his nose when the heat (and probably the smell) hits him. “Jimin told me to make sure you didn't kill yourself dancing too hard.”
“Jimin Hyung ,” Hoseok chastises gently, swatting away Jungkook's worried hand trying to take hold of his elbow. “I'm fine, Kookie. Honest, I already feel a little better. I just need some water and-”
Hoseok doesn't even finish speaking before Seokjin is handing him a water bottle and a towel that seems to appear out of nowhere, with Namjoon hovering in the back looking oddly nervous and out of place.
Unwilling to bring it up in front of the others, Hoseok takes a long pull from the water and thanks Seokjin breathlessly, risking a glance outside. The sun is still out, which means he hasn't been dancing nearly as long as he was worried he might have been, and he can already feel his body relaxing.
Placing the bottle on the floor, Hoseok begins to stretch himself out, Jungkook grumbling about how Hoseok must really be feeling okay, Seokjin talking loudly and happily about what he wants to make for dinner that night, and Namjoon being quiet and avoiding Hoseok's eyes.
Hoseok's everything, really.
The only thing Hoseok can think of is that maybe Namjoon is feeling embarrassed about what happened last weekend with breakfast and it's just kicking in now, but that doesn't make sense. He shakes his head and tries to ignore how much Namjoon ignoring him bothers him, focuses instead on how he's going to have to put on a disgustingly sweat-damp shirt and kicks at it.
At least he'd remembered to wear a tank top underneath his shirt this time so he's not half naked in front of two new tentative friends.
“Kook-ah, do you have an extra shirt Hyung could borrow?” Hoseok picks up the gross shirt on the floor, heading over to his bag and dropping it in. “ I really don't want to wear that sweaty shirt all the way home.”
“Sorry, Hobi-hyung.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders and looks genuinely sorry, but there's a gleam of something in his eyes that Hoseok just doesn't trust, and he can't explain why.
“I-” Namjoon clears his throat when Hoseok turns to him, his cheeks red. “I have something you could use if you want.”
“Really? Thank you so much.” Relief practically drips from Hoseok when he speaks, Namjoon just nods and pulls the bag on his back that Hoseok hadn't noticed closer to him before pulling out a shirt and offering it to him.
Hoseok takes it gratefully, pulls the tank top off and wipes off as much of his chest as he can before pulling on the shirt Namjoon lended him while Seokjin talks about how cool Hoseok looks when he dances.
“We didn't see much,” Jungkook admits, like he knew Hoseok was going to ask about it, “ But the choreo looked hard.”
“You move like you're the music,” Namjoon muses, pulling out a notebook and jotting something down, and something flits across Seokjin's face.
“Ah, I see.” Seokjin nods a few times, like something finally makes sense, and whispers something into Jungkook's ear. Jungkook reddens, but Hoseok doesn't really want to know, he doesn't think.
Instead, he grabs his bag and heads over to a still writing Namjoon and gently bumps their hips together. Namjoon startles, hastily scribbles something down and pockets the little notebook before smiling lopsidedly over at Hoseok.
“Thanks again for the shirt.” Hoseok says, straightening the material against himself, “It's comfortable, I like it.”
It smells like you, Hoseok thinks, it reminds me of waking up in your bed, of seeing you dance around in pajamas and singing in the kitchen.
Oh no, Hoseok thinks only moments later, when Namjoon smiles at him and Hoseok feels butterflies in his stomach that usually only occur when he's about to go on stage, Oh no, I like him.
“You can- You should keep it.” Namjoon leans against Hoseok for the briefest of moments, presses their shoulders together gently, like Hoseok is something to treat cautiously. “For the next time you over exert yourself. Jimin seems to think it happens often.”
“Often enough that he knows to send people after me when I don't answer my phone I guess.” Hoseok agrees, running a hand through his sweaty hair, grimacing.
Namjoon opens his mouth to speak but is ultimately cut off by Seokjin.
“Seok-ah, you should come to dinner with us!.” Seokjin clasps his hands together before draping an arm around an enamored looking Jungkook.
“After you shower though,” Jungkook admits, pinching his nose and sticking his tongue out at Hoseok. He doesn't blame him really, Hoseok is sure he smells disgusting right now.
“Sure.” Hoseok should probably come to terms with the realization he just had anyways, but when he risks a glance, Namjoon is frowning.
“I can't tonight.” Namjoon looks apologetic, but also like he won't budge on the matter, do Hoseok just shrugs.
“Maybe next time.”
Jungkook makes a soft noise, tugs on Hoseok's sleeve in excitement. “ You can meet Taehyung for real!”
While Jungkook talks about Taehyung, Namjoon talks quietly with Seokjin, his face reddening the longer they talk together until eventually Namjoon shakes his head and takes a few steps back, waving at Hoseok and calling a goodbye to Jungkook before heading from the studio and leaving Hoseok wondering exactly what just happened.
--
There's no real explanation for why Hoseok puts Namjoon's shirt back on after he's showered and done his hair up nicely, he just really liked the shirt, okay?
It has nothing to do with the fact that he happens to like how the shirt smells, or that there must have been a reason Namjoon had a second shirt in his bag, but for the life of him Hoseok can't think of a reason for Namjoon to give the shirt to Hoseok in the end. It just doesn't make sense to him.
Still, when Hoseok heads a few streets over to the restaurant Seokjin (“Call me Jin-hyung”) and Jungkook had chosen, he's not surprised when Seokjin zeros in on the shirt. He is surprised when all Seokjin does is raise a brow and smirk, but then Jungkook comes in with someone who must be Taehyung.
Taehyung is tall, scarily beautiful and wearing a button up ruffled baby pink blouse and bright red slacks. He's got thin wire framed glasses on and a friendly smile on his lips.
“Ah, Hyung. It's good to see you upright.” Taehyung is grinning when he sits next to Hoseok, holding out a hand for him to shake. “I'm Taehyung.”
“Nice to meet you when I can see straight.” Hoseok teases back, taking his hand and shaking it. “I don't know what you did to the punch but please never do it again.”
Seokjin and Jungkook laugh across the table and things just get easier from there. Time passes easily and pleasantly, they eat well and in abundance, and by the time they're saying their goodbyes, Taehyung has been invited to Hoseok and Jimin's competition and Hoseok has plans to stop by Taehyung's dorm room next week.
It's a good way to end the day.
--
The day of the competition, Hoseok wakes up feeling unsettled and petrified, but there's a message from the group chat Jungkook and Jimin made that's full of support and helps ease the heaviness in his chest and let's him take a full breath.
He and Jimin have a rule, no practicing the day if the competition to keep their energy levels high, and they've been practicing nearly non-stop the last few days regardlessly, they know what they're doing.
It doesn't stop Hoseok from being too nervous to eat much, but he has plans with everyone to go out after the competition for a celebration no matter what happens.
Hoseok showers and pulls on the shirt that smells more like himself than Namjoon now, tucks it into the front of his ripped black jeans and heads for the arena where the competition is being held. It's easy enough to find Jimin dressed similarly, with Yoongi by his side.
“Hey, Seokkie.” Yoongi smiles reassuringly, pulling away from Jimin to tug Hoseok into a hug so tight that Hoseok has no choice but to feel grounded, and he clings back to Yoongi just as hard.
With a Huff of hot air, Hoseok pulls himself out of Yoongi's hold with a more honest smile. “Thanks Hyung.”
“Always, Seok-ah.” Yoongi reassures him, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing just shy of too tight. “ You two are gonna be great.”
“Hell yes we are.” Jimin grins viciously, glancing around at other groups. It seems like the other studio has more than seven people in their group, and they're all practicing, some are already sweating through their stage makeup.
Jungkook heads over to them with his bag and starts cleaning Jimin's face before he starts with putting his makeup on. Jungkook has been their makeup artist for as long as they've known him, and he's really good at what he does.
By the time Jimin is done, Hoseok is much more calm and a few solo dancers have gone up to do their routine and Jungkook starts with him.
It makes time pass quickly, and soon enough his makeup is done and the other studio heads up to the floor for their performance and Jimin and Hoseok are left pleasantly surprised.
The group is talented, and it's clear that they love what they've done, but one or two dancers are a step out of time, and they've worn themselves out practicing so hard that by the time they've finished, even the better dancers look a little unsteady on their feet.
Still, the crowd roars their appreciation, and the group leaves the floor laughing, arms wrapped around each other tightly.
When their studio is called, Hoseok and Jimin head to the middle of the floor and spot their friends in the middle, shouting and holding up signs with their names on them. They break routine and offer smiles and waves before the lights settle, Jimin fades behind the curtain and the light is on Hoseok kneeling on the ground.
The music starts and Hoseok lifts himself up as fluidly as possible while he stalks forward. The crowd is hushed while he moves his body sinuously, and when he leaps into the air there's a soft gasp that ripples through. It's when he does the move that has him touching his right leg to his head that the cheering starts, and when he resettles from his one handed backflip, he makes sure to stay crouched and to catch his breath when the light switches to the curtain and Jimin emerges.
Jimin moves like his body has no bones, moves deadly and sinfully until the music crests and Hoseok finally joins him. Jimin slips on a blindfold and they perform a mixture of their dances together, moving easily, moving as one until the music stops and so do they.
The crowd cheers for a while, and all groups have to wait to see whose studio is going to win after all.
When their names are called as the winners, Hoseok wonders what it means when his eyes find Namjoon before anyone else's.
Open Mic
Hoseok hasn't had a night off since the day if the competition, but this Friday he'll have freedom and he mostly has plans to sleep. In fact, sleep is what he's daydreaming about when Jungkook comes into the pet store close to Hoseok's shift ending.
“Hyung?” Jungkook is biting his bottom lip and look uncharacteristically nervous when he approaches the counters, drumming his fingers along the glass when he gets there.
“Whats up, Kook-ah?” Hoseok takes one of Jungkook's hands and links their fingers together, stroking a thumb over his knuckles like how Jungkook likes it.
“Are Jin-hyung and Namjoon-Hyung dating?” Jungkook blurts out, his cheeks reddening. “They're really close, and I just- do you know? I don't want to make an idiot out of myself.”
“I'm sorry, Jungkookie. I have no idea if they're together or not. But I thought you two were on your way to something.” He hadn't even really thought about the possibility before Jungkook brought it up, but it's not...it's not impossible to imagine.
In fact, it's impossible to stop imagining it now. The way Seokjin looked so small in Namjoon's arms the day the came here, the way they barely needed words to communicate, how wrapped up in each other they were at the studio the other day.
“I thought so too, but I'm not so sure anymore. If I find out, I'll let you know. I just-” Jungkook takes a deep breath, dark eyes wide and determined. “Is it wrong of me to hope they're not together?”
“As long as you don't do anything to tear them apart if they end up being together.” Hoseok is quick to answer, pleased when Jungkook just nods, takes his hand back from Hoseok.
“I'll let you know,” Jungkook repeats himself, pulling away and heading for the door, leaving Hoseok wondering when the hell he became so transparent.
--
The thing is:
Hoseok isn't really sure if he wants to know if Namjoon and Seokjin are together or not. Hell, he's not even sure that he's sure he feels something more for Namjoon just yet, but-
The thought of him being with someone to else makes Hoseok feel physically ill, like something is sitting on his chest cavity and constricting his breath. It's hard for him to think about it.
So he doesn't.
Hoseok focuses on other things instead, like taking care of Jungkook when he comes down with a cold from being stubborn and skipping sleep.
He focuses on taking extra shifts from Jimin again, and not once does he hope to see that now familiar figure on a bike in the dark. (Hoseok also likes to himself, he checks the shadowed streets too many times to count.)
In fact, Hoseok is so busy not focusing on the Namjoon/Seokjin fiasco, that when he nearly runs into Seokjin at the grocery store, it all hits him at once, and Hoseok finds himself hiding down an aisle he doesn't need to be in just for the sake of avoiding his Hyung.
It's ridiculous, he's ridiculous.
For God's sake, he's a grown ass man. He can deal with the potential of a crush not liking him back, he can. He can handle seeing Jin in a store and be polite to him, he can-
“Hoseok?”
It's Seokjin because of course it's Seokjin, and when Hoseok turns around, it's to find Seokjin standing there looking awfully amused.
“Something you needed?” Seokjin teases, gesturing towards the aisle where Hoseok had just been standing.
Only then does he realize he's spent the last five minutes with his face nearly pressed into the shelf holding condoms and lube.
Honestly, fuck his entire life at this point.
“Hyung, how much do I have to pay you to never speak of this again?” Hoseok asks, covering his very red face in his hands. Vaguely, he wonders how many people walked by him and wondered if the young man in the condom section needed some help.
“I've already texted the group with photographic evidence.” Seokjin admits, not bothering to hold back these little squeaks of laughter.
Hoseok just groans, thunks his head against Seokjin's shoulders and rues his existence. “Anyone ever told you that you're evil?”
“Only the ones that really know me,” Seokjin is quick to tease, gently patting Hoseok on the head. “Do you want to die of mortification now or finish shopping first?”
Hoseok takes a minute to think about it, sighs and hefts the shopping basket higher on his arm. “Shopping first, death later. Jungkook might be good at a lot of things, but grocery shopping isn't one of them.”
Seokjin just laughs, following after Hoseok and helping him find good prices on different food and household items until the basket is full. Hoseok doesn't ask when Seokjin mumbles about grabbing some of Namjoon's favorite snacks, or when he picks up a practically industrial sized bottle of banana milk when Hoseok mentions that it's Jungkook's favorite.
He wants to ask, but he doesn't because the thing is?
Seokjin seems genuinely nice and it's ultimately not up to Hoseok to ask the hard questions here, not when Jungkook is clearly ready to charge full speed ahead and do it himself.
“Seok-ah?” Seokjin finished bagging his own groceries, offers Hoseok a gentle smile. “Would you and Jungkook like to come to Namjoon's open mic this weekend?”
“Open mic?” Hoseok pays for his groceries, thanks Seokjin when he offers to take him home. “I have Friday off, I'd love to go. Is he singing?”
“Ah, I'm afraid that's a secret.” Seokjin teases, ushering Hoseok over to a dark blue truck, placing their groceries in the back. “Will you ask Kookie for me? He hasn't answered my texts yet.”
“Sure,” Hoseok reassures him, and the conversation fades from there. They make small talk until they reach Hoseok's apartment, and he thanks Seokjin, grabs his groceries and heads into the building.
Seokjin waits until Hoseok has reached the door before he pulls away, and Hoseok sags against the wall inside and stays that way until Jungkook comes downstairs to grab some of the bags.
“You said you were going to find out, not avoid him. He knows something's up.” Hoseok sighs, following a quiet Jungkook up the stairs and into the apartment where they put the groceries away silently, and they head to Hoseok's room where they both lay on his bed silently .
Hoseok knows better than to pressure Jungkook into speaking though, can practically see the gears turning while he figures out exactly what he wants to say.
“Have you ever been so scared to know the truth that you think you're better off not knowing?” Jungkook asks eventually, his brows furrowed.
Blindly, Hoseok reaches out and links their hands together, squeezing Jungkook's hand in his own and smiling brightly.
“All the time, Kookie. All the damn time.” It's hard to admit, especially when he's supposed to be the older one, the one who's supposed to have all kinds of advice for Jungkook when he needs it most.
“How do you get over it?” Jungkook wonders, like he just knows that Hoseok doesn't have the answers this time, like he's not expecting any advice at all, just needs an outlet for his thoughts.
“Bravery I guess.” Hoseok shrugs, wonders if he's clinging to Jungkook, or if Jungkook is clinging to him .
Maybe it's possible that they're clinging to each other, that they're both just as scared for the unknown as the other is.
“Seokjin wants you to answer his texts.” It's the only thing Hoseok can think of to say.
“Okay.” Plain and simple, just like Jungkook likes it.
“He also wants us to go to Namjoon's open mic this weekend.” Hoseok adds after a few minutes pass.
“Do you want to go?”
It's the one question Hoseok had really hoped that Jungkook wouldn't ask him, so of course he does in the end.
“I don't not want to go.” It's as much of an answer as Hoseok has right now, it's just going to have to be enough for Jungkook.
“Then we'll go.” Jungkook nods once, squeezes Hoseok's hand and climbs off the bed, heads for the kitchen to start on dinner, and Hoseok continues to lay there, blows out a breath.
If only it was always that simple.
--
The week passes unnecessarily fast, until it's Friday morning and Hoseok has until nighttime to get over himself and his stupid crush long enough to see Namjoon in person, and to hear whatever he has to say at this open mic night, whatever that entails.
Yoongi had texted him last night to let Hoseok know that he and Jimin were also going tonight, so at least Hoseok will have someone else to talk to, since it's almost certain that Jungkook will end up talking with Seokjin for most of the night.
Hoseok spends his morning and part of the afternoon cleaning while Jungkook is in class, and has just come out of the shower when Jungkook shouts that he's home. Jungkook heads for the shower while Hoseok gets ready and suddenly darkness has fallen and they're on route to a little cafe a few streets down.
There's more people than Hoseok anticipated, and while he's looking around, Jimin finds them.
“Hobi-hyung, Jungkookie!” Jimin beams, hugging both of them briefly and tugging them over to where Seokjin and Yoongi are deep in conversation.
For a minute it looks like they're fighting, Seokjin has a fierce look on his face, and Yoongi looks more angry than Hoseok has seen in a while, but once they all walk over, the tension disappears.
In fact, Yoongi scoots over a seat so Jungkook can sit next to Seokjin who pulls him into a tight hug, so Hoseok sits on Jimin's other side, talks with him and Yoongi while Jungkook and Seokjin whisper to each other until the lights dim further and the first performer comes out.
Hoseok sits up in his seat, ready to hear some music, but that's not what happens. Instead, the girl on the stage starts speaking self written poetry , and Hoseok is more interested than he thought he'd be.
The girl finishes and there's light applause, a few people whistle and cheer, but quickly calm when the next performer comes out.
And so it goes, until-
“Yeah, Namjoon!” Seokjin shouts, and their whole groups cheers loudly until Namjoon shakes his head at them and he begins his own poetry.
“If I'm like the moon, then he's like the sun. We're close enough to be near, but never be one.” Namjoon speaks slowly, clearly, and Hoseok couldn't look away if he wanted to. “If my love's made of shadows, his is the light, shining through my darkness, forever in flight.”
Namjoon pauses, his eyes scanning over the crowd. For a moment, just one single fleeting moment, their eyes meet, Hoseok feels himself blush and is just about to raise his hand and wave, to let Namjoon know that he's here, when-
Those eyes leave Hoseok, trail from friend to friend until they land on the last person pressed tight against the wall. It's so obvious , the way Namjoon's face softens, the way his entire body relaxes when he zeros in on Seokjin.
It's clear that Seokjin must be feeling some of the same as well, he's grinning at Namjoon, nodding his support, and Hoseok is suddenly having a hard time catching his breath.
He never expected it to feel like this.
Hoseok thought he was ready, thought he could handle this, could handle sitting here in the dark and listening to Namjoon potentially pour his heart out for someone else, but he-he can't . It makes his own feelings choke him, make his eyes well with unshed tears. It hurts him, all he wants to do is run away, but Hoseok finds himself rooted to the spot, unable to look away from Namjoon.
“If-” Namjoon pauses, takes a deep breath and frowns, and only then does Hoseok notice that his hands are quivering, the notebook in his hand shaking like a leaf. “If my tears fall like rain-”
Another pause.
Namjoon frowns down at the paper in his hands like it's the one to blame in all this, and Seokjin is leaning and saying something to Jungkook, tense and ready.
Seokjin is pushing to his feet before the mumbling in the crowds starts, before Namjoon's shoulders raise until they're nearly at his ears and before Hoseok can even think to get to his feet, Seokjin is wrapping his arms around Namjoon and tugging him gently off the stage, whispering in his ear and pressing-
Pressing sweet kisses against Namjoon's temple and his cheek.
It's too much.
Hoseok isn't proud of himself for what he does, but he's halfway through the door before it really registers, barely hears Jungkook's confused “Hyung!” following him out the door, Namjoon's soft and weary “Hoseok?” haunting him long after he's home, in pajamas and curled up under his blankets. In fact, he hears that voice while he sleeps, imagines callused fingers brushing his hair off his face.
That voice helps him sleep, and not for the first time, Hoseok wakes up and feels immensely-
Guilty.
The Aftermath
There's no other word for it, Hoseok wallows.
When he's not at work, he's at home, and when he's not at home, then he's at the studio dancing.
Most of the time, Hoseok ends up at the studio until early in the morning, sleeping only a few hours each night before his shift at the pet store.
Even Jungkook is getting sick of him, saying that Hoseok misunderstood what happened that night, that if he just talked to Namjoon then he'd understand, but Hoseok refuses to do that, and Jungkook is clearly getting sick of trying.
He's also been sneaking off somewhere lately, smirking when Hoseok asks where he's been.
“You're not asking the right questions, Hyung “ Jungkook repeats for the hundredth time this week. Clearly, wherever he's going is making him snarky and brattish.
“I don't know what the right question is.” Hoseok growls, throwing his shoes by the door and slumping onto the couch. “I don't get why you won't just tell me.”
“Because when it mattered, you ran away and I didn't.” Jungkook, who had been untying his shoes, ties then back up and heads back for the door. “You need to get over yourself, this isn't just about you.”
Hoseok is too caught off guard to say anything when Jungkook slams out the door and leaves Hoseok alone.
He doesn't have time for this, he's got to be at the studio again in a few hours, and Hoseok is exhausted. It's all too easy for him to push Jungkook's attitude out of his mind and to fall asleep.
--
It's late, later than when he usually leaves by, but Hoseok is honestly just happy to be out of work. He can't keep doing this, can't just keep accepting all the shitty schedules just to avoid seeing people (Namjoon,) when he doesn't want to see them.
It's stupid, he's being stupid and irrational, and kind of (very much so) a dick.
Currently, Hoseok is so tired that he feels nearly drunk, but he manages to lock the door to the studio and stumble to the sidewalk.
Hoseok has barely made it a few steps forward when there's a dingding of a bell behind him, and a silhouette Hoseok is sure he's imagining pedals past him, making him stumble. He hears the person swear, watches them nudge the kickstand down and slip off the bike, watches them turn around.
Feels an unsettling amount of deja-vu.
“I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to- Hoseok?”
Namjoon. It's Namjoon, and Hoseok hasn't seen him in nearly an entire week because he's been stu pid and he's almost giddy with how much relief he feels at seeing this man who wormed himself under Hoseok's skin.
“Namjoonie, You nearly ran me over again, you really are trying to murder me.” Hoseok smirks, or at least he thinks he does, he's not exactly sure what his face is doing, but he knows Namjoon is frowning. “I must be dreaming.”
“Do you dream of me murdering you often?” Namjoon rolls his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his words while he crosses his arms protectively over his chest.
“Yeah, kind of.” Hoseok readily agrees, lightly swaying where he stands. “Not the murder part, just you.”
He's always more honest when he's tired.
For a moment, Namjoon looks surprised, he stands there and blinks at Hoseok, his mouth drops open before it warps into cautious concern. “Hoseok, are you drunk right now?”
“I wish.” Hoseok snorts on a laugh, making himself move forward until he's past Namjoon and walking away. “At least if I was drunk I'd have a reason for hallucinating you.”
It takes a few minutes for Namjoon to catch up, Hoseok can hear him swearing at his bike, but eventually he sidles up and walks next to Hoseok, starting at him oddly.
“ Why would you hallucinate me of all people?” Namjoon asks, looking curious and guarded all at once.
“You know the answer to that question already,” Hoseok sighs wearily, trudges forward until he can see his apartment building in the distance.
“Humor me?” Pleading isn't a good look on Namjoon, Hoseok decides, hallucination or otherwise
“Joon-ah, please.” Hoseok feels his lip quiver, he's just so tired of this. Tired of dreaming of this over and over again, tired of missing his chance, he's just so tired. “ You're with Jin-hyung, I'm not going to tell you anything.”
Silence.
There's always silence.
It hurts worse every time.
Hoseok makes his way into the building, hears a soft snick of something behind him and heads up the stairs. Punching in the code for the apartment, Hoseok opens the door to a dark room, figures Jungkook must be out again.
Closing the door behind him, Hoseok kicks off his shoes and heads for the kitchen to grab a drink when there's a knock on the door. He groans loudly, swears under his breath but heads for the door regardless, and twists the knob, pulling the door open.
“I'm not a hallucination,” Namjoon reassures him, sounding both sincere and like something is too hilarious for him to keep his face impassive, “Will you let me in?”
“I'm going to fall asleep the minute I stop moving.” Hoseok blinks slowly before standing aside, allowing Namjoon to walk into the apartment. “Consider it a warning.”
“I'll sleep on the couch.” Namjoon shrugs, pulling off his shoes and placing them neatly by the door, following Hoseok to the living room.
There's a blanket on the back of the couch that Hoseok cuddles with sometimes, and now Namjoon takes it and wraps it around himself before sitting on the couch.
“ We're going to have a conversation in the morning.” Namjoon says it like a warning, and Hoseok figures it must be for Namjoon to look this serious.
“Sure. In the morning. Goodnight, Joon-ah.” Hoseok turns, ignores the way his stomach feels fuzzy and warm when Namjoon mumbles his own goodnight.
Hoseok crawls into bed without changing his clothes, bundles up under the covers and almost immediately falls asleep. He wonders if he'll remember this dream in the morning.
The Morning After
Hoseok yawns as he wakes, stretches himself out from where he'd been curled up into a ball in the middle of his bed, and he takes a moment to spread himself out and just-
Be there for a minute.
For the first time in the better part of this last week, Hoseok woke up feeling fully rested. It's enough contentment to make him smile lazily, to have him pulling himself out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom.
Treating himself to a long shower, Hoseok changes into a baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts, considers heading down to the studio today and immediately tossing that idea aside.
He's going to have a day off and enjoy it , for once.
There's a thought in the back of his mind that makes Hoseok feel like he's forgetting something, but he makes his way into the kitchen with no problem, and starts taking out ingredients for omelettes. Hoseok can hear a soft rumbling noise that sounds like it could be construction work down the street, so for now he ignores it, gets to work making food instead.
He feels good, like he just woke up out of one of the best dreams he's had in a long while, so Hoseok dances around his kitchen, ignores the niggling in the back of his head that's screaming that there's something important he's supposed to be dealing with, but the odd noise has finally stopped, Hoseok feels good and he doesn't want his veggies to burn.
Still, the choreo in his head is calling for a spin, so he checks the veg, shimmies a little bit and twirls-
And screams.
In all his exhaustion the night before, Hoseok had really thought it was his guilty conscience pulling Namjoon out of thin air, not that he was actually here. So now, instead of acting like a normal person, Hoseok is standing in his kitchen, clutching his chest dramatically while Namjoon stands there, still sleep heavy and confused.
“You snore like a goddamn diesel truck, ” Hoseok gasps, saying the first thing that came to his mind. “I thought I was hearing construction.”
“You forgot I was here.” Namjoon doesn't look mad, though to be fair, Namjoon doesn't look like much except for swollen and halfway asleep. “Coffee?”
“Eggs?”
They speak at the same time, both staring at each other until Hoseok cracks and smiles.
“I'll make the coffee, don't you worry.” Hoseok takes Namjoon by the elbow, leads him over to the the table. “Just sit before you fall over. I'm making omelettes, is that okay with you?”
Namjoon sits at the table, hums his agreement and pillows his head in his arms, peering blearily at Hoseok.
It's cuter than it should be, Hoseok feels himself blush so he turns around, starts on a pot of coffee and saves the vegetables.
Everything's done before Hoseok has the time to think over what he wants to say, what the best way to apologize would be. He sets down a plate and a mug of coffee next to Namjoon, sitting himself down across from him.
“I really need to say-” Namjoon cuts Hoseok off with a lift of his hand and a warm smile.
“Food and coffee first, talking later.” Namjoon takes a purposeful sip of his coffee while Hoseok rolls his eyes, shoves a piece of his breakfast into his mouth.
They eat and drink in silence, Namjoon thanks Hoseok for the food, Hoseok asks if Namjoon wants cream and sugar for his coffee, and that's that.
It's remarkably simple, and even easier than Hoseok could ever expect. But the time eventually comes when they're both finished with their food and their coffee.
“You've been avoiding me,” Namjoon starts, catching Hoseok off guard for a moment. “Could you tell me why?”
Hoseok busies himself with picking up the dishes and bringing them over to the sink. His heart pounds hard in his chest, he braces himself against the countertop and takes a huge breath.
Where does he even begin?
‘ It all started the night you nearly ran me over’?
‘I realized I was falling for you at the pet store’?
'It hurts more than it should, thinking of you with Seokjin.’
“I was caught off guard, I think.” Hoseok settles on saying, hanging his head and staring at the bottom of his sink. “I wasn't expecting any of this.”
“Any of what?” Namjoon asks, not unkindly. “I'm trying to understand, Hoseok. Help me understand.”
Hoseok breaks.
“ Any of this, I wasn't expecting you that night we first met, or that time in the library. I tried to stop it when you came into the pet store with Jin-hyung, but I couldn't.” It's like all his emotions are exploding all at once. “You were there for my dance with Jimin, and all I wanted was for you to see me at your poetry reading, but you kept looking at Hyung.”
“You think Jin-hyung and I are together, you said it last night.” Namjoon nods like something makes sense suddenly, and Hoseok groans to himself.
“Of course I do, because you are together.” Hoseok grumbles, feeling simultaneously frustrated and embarrassed. “So I want to apologize-”
“No.”
Hoseok turns, frowning at Namjoon's interruption and gesturing wildly with his hands. “No?”
“No,” Namjoon agrees, standing up and taking a step towards Hoseok. “No to your apology, first.”
Namjoon walks until he's next to Hoseok, his face calm and empty of the anger Hoseok had expected.
“ And no to your assumption about me and Hyung being together.” Namjoon adds, the smallest of smiles quirking the side of his lips while he studies Hoseok.
Hoseok is-
Well, Hoseok is experiencing some technical difficulties, because he can't seem to make himself say anything, can only stand there and gape at Namjoon.
“Did you know that Hyung had been pining after Jungkook ever since they took that acting class together last year?” Namjoon wonders, leaning up against the countertop beside Hoseok. “Did you know they started seeing each other the night of my open mic?”
Jungkook's taunting of “you're not asking the right questions” makes a lot more sense to Hoseok now.
“I didn't know.” It's easy to admit with Namjoon so close, so accepting. “I didn't know at all.”
“Did you also know,” It comes out in a whisper, Hoseok finds that Namjoon is closer than he had originally thought, their bodies nearly touching. “That I haven't been able to stop talking about you since before I even knew your name?”
“I called you Bike guy in my head until I figured out that Bike guy and tutor Namjoon were the same person.” Hoseok is barely breathing, barely feeling brave enough to look up at Namjoon, and yet he still somehow knows that the man is smiling.
“I wrote that shitty poem for you,” Namjoon reaches out, trails a finger tip down the curve of Hoseok's jawline, “Do you remember the party? I danced with you for three songs before I realized you were drunk and had no idea it was even me. I stayed because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I remember the feeling of your hands on me,” It's getting harder to breathe, Namjoon is close enough now to press Hoseok back against the counter. “I like thinking about the morning after the party when I'm sad.”
Namjoon hums in agreement, leans closer and stops before his arms or any part of his body even touches Hoseok. “Can I hug you, would that be alright?”
Hoseok nods, leans himself in until Namjoon is wrapping around him, tucking Hoseok's head into the crook of his neck, wrapping those long arms around him and holding on. It's all Hoseok can do, to wrap his arms around Namjoon's waist and cling.
They don't talk.
Hoseok is surprised to find that they don't need to.
--
For a while, they don't talk about it.
For a while, all they do is sit together on Hoseok and Jungkook's couch and just be .
Eventually, they have to say something, and it goes a little bit like this:
Namjoon explains all the times he's tried to let Hoseok know that he had feelings for him, and Hoseok shyly tells Namjoon about all the times he's stopped himself from saying anything.
After a while, Namjoon admits that he has stage fright, that that's why he couldn't finish his poem he wrote, and that it was hard for him to get up there in the first place.
Hoseok laughs, tells Namjoon about the dance competition and how all he wanted to do was end up with Namjoon in the end.
Then, they just sit.
Slowly, Hoseok slides his hand over until his pinky is almost touching Namjoon's, and he waits. It isn't long before Namjoon reaches out with his own pinky, linking their fingers together. The both of them blush and look away when they catch each other's eyes, but they somehow end up gravitating together until their sides are flush, and they're leaning heavily against each other.
Hoseok takes a risk, leans his head lightly against Namjoon's shoulder and practically holds his breath until Namjoon sighs happily, leaning to rest his head against Hoseok's.
It's exactly what Hoseok didn't know he wanted, everything he needed right this very second, and somehow it's still-
So much more .
The River Part Two
Hoseok is just leaving the late shift at the studio when he notices him. He's just finished covering another shift for Jimin, it's late, it's foggy, but still-
He's there.
He's always there. No matter how late it is, if it's raining or not. He's there.
With a sigh and a weary shake off his head, Hoseok walks over to the figure parked on the sidewalk, wrapping his arms around the man's waist, nuzzling his face into the back of his neck.
“Please don't murder me,” Namjoon mumbles, sounding far too awake for this time of night, and far too chipper for Hoseok's tired brain. “I have a boyfriend to bring home safe.”
“What does it say about me that I'm both annoyed and endeared?” Hoseok wonders out loud, pleased when it makes Namjoon laugh that literal laugh of his.
Namjoon turns in Hoseok's hold, pressing his lips to Hoseok's only briefly before nudging the kickstand on his bike up.
“It says that you love me,” Namjoon exclaims with false bravado, “What else could it mean?” He smiles too big, with no dimples at all, one of his many tells that he's nervous.
They've been casually dating for the last few months or so, and Hoseok hadn't wanted to scare Namjoon off too early, but the look on his boyfriend's face makes him take pause while Namjoon fumbles with his bike.
“Yeah, it does.” Hoseok agrees easily, gently tugging the handlebars from Namjoon and starting down the sidewalk.
Namjoon splutters loudly behind him, jogging back to Hoseok and taking the bike from him, resting it against a wooden fence.
“Seok-ah, you can't just walk away with my bike ,” Namjoon mutters incredulously, shaking his head in slight disbelief. “We're having a moment.”
“Oh, we are?” Hoseok widens his eyes, stares up at Namjoon in surprise.
“Don't be mean, Seok.” Namjoon pouts when he speaks, and the pouting makes the dimples pop out, and the dimples make Hoseok weak. “ Tell me properly.”
“Tell you what?” Hoseok's asks, and his acting must be getting a little too good, because Namjoon's face falls, leaves Hoseok scrambling to recover. “Tell you that I love you?”
Silence.
Namjoon's eyes are closed, there's a softness to his face that Hoseok isn't sure he's ever seen before, but makes him feel so complete that he can't stop himself from smiling.
“Joon-ah. Look at me.” Reaching up to cup Namjoon's cheeks, Hoseok waits until Namjoon is completely focused on him, and he grins. “I love you.”
It's instantaneous.
Namjoon let's loose one of his happy laughs, leans down to press his lips to Hoseok's before pulling back. He looks more excited, more happy than Hoseok has seen him before, and suddenly all he wants is to make Namjoon this happy for as long as he can.
“Seok.” Namjoon breathes his name out like it's something special, something worth the awe laced in Namjoon's voice. “Hoseok-ah, I love you so much.”
He thinks he knows how Namjoon felt hearing Hoseok say it for the first time. Hoseok is full to the brim of butterflies, something light and happy flowing through him while he grins up at Namjoon.
Hoseok loves Namjoon.
Namjoon loves Hoseok, too.
That's just the way it is.