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In her time knowing him, truly knowing him, Tsuyu has realized that Bakugou is act pretty calm person. Okay, so maybe he still screams over small things, and is sort of nuts, but he's pretty calm when unprovoked. It amazes her how much of the time he's just sitting quietly, tranquil.
He's totally losing it right now, but that's besides the point.
"I'm not—you can't make me go in there!"
Tsuyu you and Bakugou had been standing outside the counselor office for ten minutes. In all that time, Bakugou had not budged at all in his stance that he did not need to see anyone. More importantly, he was refusing to go inside at all. They had decided they would go together, ease into the process.
It seemed Bakugou was losing his resolve.
Toga was always like that. When she had her mind made up she would always stick to it no matter what. It was annoying, but Tsuyu missed her whining.
No! No! She had to get those thoughts out of her head!
"C'mon Bakugou," Tsuyu rubbed his shoulders, "We can get this over with super quickly, just—"
"Don’t touch me!" he slapped her hand away roughly, "Don't...!"
Tsuyu stood extremely still as he continued to tremble. She was partially hurt (he had hit her rather hard) but mainly stunned and rather worried. She had never seen him to frantic, so unsure of himself.
Before she could speak up, try to rectify the situation, the door to the office opened up and a cheerful looking woman stuck her head out, "Bakugou! Oh, and you must be Asui! I’m ever so pleased to meet you both! Please do come in!"
Tsuyu didn't typically go along with strangers like this, but she supposed she could make an exception, "Um, I'm sorry, but who are you?"
"I seem to have left my manners at home!" the woman adjusted her thick rimmed glasses. She was..strange. Violet eyes that radiated warmth, yet chilled Tsuyu to the bone, "My sincerest apologies for that! I'm Dr. Tanaka. Oh, it's such a joy to meet you! Feel free to take a seat!"
"Maybe before she helps us out, she should get some for herself," Bakugou whispered to which Tsuyu elbowed him sharply.
"So, my notes say that you both are here for trauma counseling! Is that correct?" Dr. Tanaka spun in her chair.
"Um, yes, ribbit."
The woman nodded furiously, "Good, good...yes, wonderful! I am quite unorganized you see! I wanted to make sure I was correct!"
"Can we just get this over with, freak? I've got more important stuff to do than listen to you ramble," Bakugou grumbled.
Dr. Tanaka ran a hand over her neck, she couldn’t seem to stay still, "Nicknames already? Oh my! Well, I don't want to waste anyone's time of course."
"Tch. Whatever."
"Bakugou," the doctor crooned suddenly seeming much more serious, "You're rather closed off, aren't you? I can see it in your body language. I knew you didn't want to come, yes, your file did say that. But this is just shocking...Well! I can work around it!"
He stilled, seeming slight unnerved.
Dr. Tanaka turned to Tsuyu, once again all smiles, "This session I merely want to establish some goals. It's important that you both know what you want to get out of this. Now, remember, so long as you aren't planning on or hurting someone or yourself, everything here is confidential. So know you can speak with me about anything at all. Even if you don't like the direction of the conversation, feel free to redirect it"
"Feel free to redirect it, she says," Bakugou huffs out a laugh, "Please, it’s your job to root around in our heads.""
"Since you seem more...uh, willing," Dr. Tanaka giggled, a sweet, soft sound, "Would you like to start, Asui?"
Tsuyu's tongue felt dry. What was she looking to get out of this? She wanted to get better, that's for sure. What would that mean, though? Getting Toga out of her head, being able to move on? "I don't...I don't know what I want."
"Perfectly understandable," Dr. Tanaka hummed, "I suppose as a general goal...would you like to come to terms with the situation?"
"Ribbit?"
"Understanding exactly what has happened is a good start, and knowing how you feel about it is even better. Is that alright with you? We would have to discuss the incident at length."
"Better than any of my ideas," Tsuyu shrugged.
Dr. Tanaka looked pleased, "And you, Bakugou?"
"I want you to see what a damn waste of time this is!" he huffed, "I don't need any help! Especially from an ugly four-eyed freak like yourself!"
"Oh dear," Dr. Tanaka's smile didn't falter, "I'm not saying you need help. Why, we've hardly met! If you cooperate though, maybe you could show me you don't need this. By acting out you're only troubling yourself."
Bakugou kicked over his chair, "I knew this would be shit! Goddamn waste of my time! Making me talk to this dumbass!"
Before either of the girls could stop him, Bakugou stormed out, yelling all the way.
"Go on ahead," Dr. Tanaka took some notes, biting her cheek, "He really could use a friend right about now. I'll see you two next week."
Tsuyu briskly thanked the woman, before she started down the hall towards him. Where could he have gone? God, why was he always like this? After running around some, she finally spotted Bakugou slowly stalking off.
Sighing in relief, she ran up to him, "Bakugou, ribbit! You can't just run off like that!"
He stayed quiet, walking just a bit faster.
Tsuyu increased her own pace in keep up with him (curse her short legs), "Bakugou! can't you at least talk to me? I was worried."
He's quiet for a few beats, but turns to her, and then, "I'm...tired."
Bakugou begins on his away again after that. He had said it as if it were some revelation, something deep and profound. Then again, for him to say how he felt in any way was pretty big for him, huh? Besides, he did seem really exhausted. Not quite fall asleep tired, but just done with everyday life tired. Tsuyu was certainly no stranger to a feeling like that, although it was a rather recent feeling. For him to say something like that, it was rather vulnerable of him.
"Hey Bakugou," Tsuyu says tentatively, hands brushing against his wrist, "Are we friends?"
"What the hell kind of dumb question is that?"
"Oh...I just...I thought—"
"Would I just talk about this stuff to any random person?" Bakugou sneered at her, "What kind of guy do you think I am?"
He snagged her hand and began to complain about how late they would be getting back to the dorms. Tsuyu was...floored. He hadn't really answered her question but that was Bakugou, wasn't it?
She wouldn't change him.
"I'm proud of you, ribbit. I'm sure you'll do even better next time."
"Yeah...you too."
Suddenly Toga is the farthest thing from her mind.
You know, Tsuyu couldn't quite place it, but something had changed in her relationship with Uraraka.
It was...softer, more intimate somehow. There was something deeper blossoming, and Tsuyu couldn't quite understand how she felt about it. Were they dating? No, not quite.
Uraraka very clearly still had a crush on Midoriya, and Tsuyu herself was trying to get over that little....misstep with Toga. They were instead just feeling out their relationship, seeing where it took them. If Tsuyu was honest, it wasn't as exciting as she would have wished. It was nice, yes, but it didn't provide her the excitement that exploded in her chest every time she saw Toga. It was wrong, but so very true.
Maybe the taboo had been part of the appeal.
For that reason, she is actually very thankful for Uraraka's consideration to take it slow. She didn't want to rush anything when Tsuyu's last relationship had gone so sour. It amazed Tsuyu just how good her friend was. She always thought before she acted, she did her best to help people...she was astounding, and so very selfless.
Maybe she needed someone like that.
"Hey Tsu?" Uraraka looks to her, tightening her grip on her hand, "How was the therapy session?"
Tsuyu laughs, "Interesting. Yeah, that's the word for it. It was...good too. I think we, Bakugou and I, we're doing better."
"Oh! That's awesome! I was worried about Bakugou but I didn't think I could really talk to him, since we're not close and this is super personal," her cheeks go pinker than normal, "Not that I wasn't worried about you! I was! I stayed up all night cause' I was so scared about you! No, that's creepy! I...!"
"You're not creepy," the green haired girl caressed Uraraka's cheek (that somehow continued to get even pinker), "You're sweet."
"What? No I'm...no I'm not! Ah! You're just flattering me, huh?"
"You know I don't say things I don't mean," Tsuyu leaned her head on the other's shoulder, "Ochako."
Uraraka all but exploded, "Eek! Don't say things like that...it's embarrassing..."
Tsuyu really shouldn't tease her friend (possibly more) like this. She was still going to, but she certainly should have stopped. Once more, she had no intention to, ever.
Her laughing was cut off by a sharp pain in her stomach. raising her eyes, Tsuyu saw what she assumed to be an upperclassman staring down at her.
"I-I'm so sorry!" she chirped, although she looked thrilled, "I'm late and in a rush, so I wasn't watching where I was going!"
Uraraka stuttered, "O-Oh, It's no trouble. We b-best let you get to it, huh?"
Aw, she was still flustered.
"Oh yes," the older of the three grinned, "I'm certain you would just love to get back to this wouldn't you?"
"Huh? Wh-Wh-What do you mean?" Uraraka continued to stammer.
"I see," the girl laughed, placing a hand on Tsuyu's shoulder and giving it a squeeze, "I guess you want to be alone, hm? Stay safe now!"
She left then, Uraraka began to hum, "What a strange girl. Right, Tsu? Tsu?"
See, she would have loved to answer, but she was far too busy freaking out.
Ever since the kidnapping, Tsuyu had been extremely wary of just about anyone and everyone. It was Toga's quirk, after all. She could be anyone, anytime. All she needed was one singular drop of blood. Every time Tsuyu had an interaction with someone she wasn't sure about, she couldn't help the fear that Toga was just having a go at her. There were even times where she feared her whole escape was just another one of Toga's schemes.
Tsuyu could feel her blood pumping, her face swelling. She felt every bit of her hair standing on its end. She hated it. Toga had made her so hyperaware of everything. Tsuyu could all but feel the T shaped scar in her wrist throbbing. Ghosts of a pain felt long ago cutting her once more. She wanted to run but she couldn’t see. She was useless, a weak shell of a hero. Toga had her, she owned Tsuyu down to her skin. She had been tagged like an animal Tsuyu's insides began to burn. Why couldn’t she just breath?
She's launched back into the present by a kind hand threading through her hair, "O-Ochako?"
"Are you feeling better?" Uraraka asked, "You started...shaking, and crying so, I pulled you into the bathroom."
"I'm fine," Tsuyu assures, and tries to stand, before she’s overwhelmed with a dizzying feeling.
Her companion sat her back down, "No, you’re not. Tsu, let me help you, tell me what’s wrong. What was that?"
"I don’t—I don’t know. Th-They’ve just been happening."
"Does something trigger it?"
Tsuyu swallows thickly, "Sometimes, only sometimes, I think Toga might still be here. That she still knows my every move, that she’s just masquerading as someone else, waiting for the perfect moment."
Nothing anyone said can help that deep fear in her gut. It was a new constant in her life.
Uraraka understood this, and merely rubbed her back as Tsuyu bawled her eyes out. Maybe Tsuyu would never be the same, maybe Toga had embedded herself deep in her soul. Even still, she had people who could help her move on.
Yeah, Tsuyu would be just fine.
The days had been hard. Things had been difficult, Tsuyu often found herself in a stupor. Yet, she thought she may have finally been in a good place.
Tsuyu walked into her room, falling face first onto her bed. She was tired, yes, but also really happy. Life was going well. No good thing came easily, so surely this was truly deserved.
Sitting up slightly, she saw a small present sitting on her desk. It was a messy thing, tape and wrapping jutting out at every corner. Not that she was judging, since she could hardly wrap a gift herself. No, she was instead panicking as to how it ended up in her room.
Did she leave her door unlocked? No, Tsuyu had become far too fearful, too cautious to make such a careless mistake. That means someone had to have broken in.
Standing up to examine the box, she found a letter was hastily attached to it. looking at it sent a shiver down her spine. She knew exactly who it was from. How could she not when that very same handwriting was scarred onto her skin?
Finding she had no other option, Tsuyu began to read Toga's letter.
Dearest Tsu,
Or Tsuyu, or whatever you want to be called now. It has been a long time, huh? I've missed you, which is why I'm writing this letter.
Now, I know things got a bit...out of hand the last time we were together, and I take responsibility for that. I really was just trying to do what was best for you, though! I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, we could try again. We could be better. I promise, no stabbing without your permission this time!
Was that joke in poor taste? You kinda' were my moral compass for a while.
We both messed up, and I totally understand if you never want to think about me again. I will respect whatever you decide (Dabi was telling me that's good. Is it? he's sort of weird when it comes to that stuff.)
In any case, I have a small present for you.
With all of my love,
Himiko
It was nothing even close to an apology. In fact, it was rather insulting to a point. 'We both made mistakes?' Please. At the same time, it was so uniquely Toga. So contradictory, and sweet and strange. Tsuyu had missed that.
Tsuyu felt herself shake. In the box was a burner phone, no doubt to be used to call Toga.
She knew what she had to do. She should contact Aizawa, report the package and block this temptation from her mind. She had been doing so well, she would not let Toga ruin her.
Not again.
Besides, what if she did go back (purely hypothetical of course)? She would be betraying so many people, Uraraka, Bakugou, her whole class. Then again, people probably wouldn't suspect her either.
She'd go back outside, show it as a sign of healing. no one would think she was meeting with the villain. Since she was becoming involved with Uraraka, no one would be any wiser.
No, she had to get those ideas out of her head. She was strong now, Toga had no hold of her anymore.
Looking down at that lovingly wrapped present, Tsuyu felt her resolve crack. She could be satisfied with what she had now, instead of longing for the past.
Couldn't she?