Work Text:
Peter giggles as he uploads the first video of his Master Plan.
The news has gotten rough lately; accusing Tony of his usual things, mocking the Hulk for his usual destruction, but also nudging in small pieces of offensive statements after they’d found out Loki and Thor were related.
So he was gunna do something about it, the YouTube channel called “SpideyTube” being created three days after the reveal about the sons, Loki now restricted to the tower after Odin had lost it at his youngest in front of the entire Asgardian Court.
But he’d start simple…
With Tony’s socks.
It had been easy; Tony and Clint always left their socks about the place, like little claims of ownership.
So Peter had tucked one of Tony’s favourite socks into the pillows of a couch, whilst leaving the other in plain view.
“Hey, FRI!” Peter hisses, “Give Tony five minutes before telling him where his socks are, OK?”
He turns to go and hide, before turning back, “And don’t tell him I moved it or told you to do this or whatever!”
“Of course, Peter,” FRIDAY says, as Peter quickly hides, hitting record.
It takes twenty minutes, but he switches to live streaming when Tony comes in, flopping on the couch as Clint makes a sound, easily plucking a pair of his socks from the seemingly-mostly-clean carpet.
“That was such a cold river! Why can’t we have a fun beach mission some time?!” Clint whines.
“I hate beaches, plus the only times there’s a beach mission lately it either involves a lot of water or a lot of fire…” Tony spies his sock on the table, making a cheerful noise in his throat, before looking around, grabbing the first.
“Now where is it…” he mumbles, immediately looking around, including under the couches.
They watch for two minutes, as Clint is flopped on his stomach.
Then Tony looks up at the ceiling.
“Hey, FRI, where’s the other sock?” he asks.
He doesn’t need to specify.
“I am currently looking through footage, yet since three months ago you have always left it in this room,” FRIDAY says.
“Huh?” Tony pauses, before crossing his arms.
“Hey, FRI! Were you told not to say anything today?” he asks, crossing his arms.
“Yes,” FRIDAY says, as Peter starts softly muttering “FRIDAY what the hell?”
Tony overlaps Peter with a “And what was that?”…
The camera feed changes at that second, showing Spiderman now in front of Tony, now in his fluffy socks with his arms crossed, Clint has snuck away to watch from beside whoever was filming, as Spidey had his head drooped.
“And I honestly don’t give a damn about what people think about me, you hear? They’re just rumours and words gathered, sometimes without any context. Like those papers that call you a menace when you literally helped eighteen little old ladies cross the road and six people home yesterday and this morning ‒ though you were ten minutes past curfew, but since it’s Saturday I’ll let is slide.”
Peter nods, before looking up.
“They’ve been getting extra-harsh, though… At least one program pokes you or Thor and Loki and it’s just… It’s not nice , especially when you’ve been really amazing with your own work, like the fact that when you realised how much people have to go through for good prosthetics and you even created a solution to the way walking means a false leg’s holder can affect the user’s leg because the movement knocks in and tears out air, as well as making it hard to keep balance, seeing as that’s ll in the toes… A-and you improved my suit! You took one look at the baggy jumper and slacks and flipped .”
“Well, that was only common sense; that was cotton and polyester, bullets, fire and water could affect that too easily and you’re less than half my age; I’m not seeing you, with the skill and heart you have, diving into a flaming building or getting thrown off a bridge again , with that flimsy thing, even if you did excellently on your webshooters and made an entirely new chemical for them that I bet very few of my researchers could have come up with.”
Spiderman’s eye-pieces widen, before crinkling with a smile.
“W-well, wouldn’t really have done that without getting spurred on by you and Dr Banner; your work encouraged me to continue my work, to find what thrown electronics people had chucked out and either mend them or make them into something else, to get invested in the lessons that all the bigger kids sometimes picked on me for,” Peter shrugs, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.
Tony visibly crumbles, raising a hand towards his face as a smile stretches across it.
“Jesus, kid, that lazer-blasted right through my chest, I’m meant to be Mr-Made-of-Iron Stark!” he ruffles Peter’s hair, “Though I’m not forgiving you entirely about the socks; they’re my favourite pair and the guy we fought managed to get enough water below my waistline that I was practically a fountain when getting out the water, I am seriously glad the quint jet had showers installed.”
“Oh, uh, Sorry Mr Stark,” Spidey says, before noticing the filmer, “M-Miss Romanov! W-what the hell?!”
Tony turns, brows rising.
“Nat…” he growls.
“I’ll send you a copy, don’t worry,” the person behind the camera says, as it shuts off.
It takes a week for anyone to notice, and even then it’s because Ned had given Betty the page to look at and, in a rich-kid school, that meant everyone saw it in less than a day, be they in school or out of it.
It’s during this time that Peter finishes his compilation of Thor and Loki, having actually asked for help this time, taking things such as Thor letting the others try and lift his hammer, then visibly being terrified when, angry at Thor for destroying part of the building with the bifrost again , Pepper had quite literally snatched Mjolnir off the table and stuck the head very close to Thor’s nose. Thor and Loki had visibly stiffened , so when she realises and drops it into his lap, Thor can only lift it away and start congratulating both her and Stark ‒ though then a calmed-down Pepper couldn’t lift the Hammer, which had Loki just slooowly raising his book in front of his face again.
Another time had been when Spidey, ( out of costume, yet with his face blurred out ) was sitting between Thor and Loki, had introduced the pair to poptarts.
Thor had to only take a bite and he was delighted , whilst Loki only nodded politely in thanks and snapped off the unbitten half, handing it to Thor when Spidey isn’t looking, Thor happily scoffing it down like a humanoid wolf-hound.
Loki lets Peter go on about other types of food, Loki glancing over at the mention of “raw fish and salad wrapped in rice”.
“What are those again?” Loki asks.
Spidey brightens once again, as he explains “sushi”.
A spongebob-styled-time jump has the Avengers eating round an entire spread of Asian foods, Peter happily explaining each one, with aid from the others, Black Widow even explaining a few Russian dishes as it’s Loki’s turn to look blissfully happy, plate holding a blend of sushi and a heap of chinese food, chopsticks in his mouth as he enjoys his food. Thor likes the chinese, but he’s ended up using a fork, not able to handle the chopsticks Nat, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Tony, Loki and Peter were wielding skillfully, leaving Steve, Bucky and Thor floundering as Rhodey was already using a knife and fork.
And, yes , the many attempts of the three chopstick-challenged supers eating with chopsticks had been recorded, Steve determined to master it so, should they need do anything in Japan, he wouldn’t seem offensive, ended up getting it on his eleventh try. Bucky figured out swapping to his new, metal hand (from Tony) and asking politely about how to hold the chopsticks meant he could “cheat”...
Thor was just useless ; he wasn’t able to hold them properly as easily, but when he did, he was accidentally a bit too strong and first, dropped his noodles on his face, stabbed a piece of maki, only for it to flop off. He gave up when he accidentally snapped the chopsticks by thwacking them together too fiercely, the top bit flying over his elbow into Sam’s plate as the bottom bit just hung by a fine layer of fibre.
Loki, meanwhile, had used the sense of ask Peter to show him; Peter first held one chopstick like a pen with three fingers, then used the other two and the nook by his thumb to hold the other below it, fingers about halfway down the chopsticks for better control.
When they’re done, Thor hums.
“It tastes delicious, but I think I prefer your pizza and burgers,” he says,, Loki cackling .
“He’s just sore about the chopsticks, I love it!” he grins.
(Twenty minutes later Loki was using Rhodey’s abandoned chopsticks and his own chopsticks to teach Thor how to use them, demonstrating, before summoning a plate of nigiri for them to try it with. Thor is successful on his third try, giving a booming laugh as Loki takes the opportunity of joy to steal more food from Thor, floating in a little cloud of food-joy quietly as his brother continues to practice…)
The HR department actually calls Tony, then Pepper, who calls Tony, who calls Peter, about his little addition to the Inter-webs.
It had blown up, and the comments sections for both videos were crazy.
"We will pay you!" the HR head had told Peter, "Just make more!"
Peter had gawked like a fish, before nodding.
"If everyone else is OK with it... But what about me? Will I have to do a face-reveal or something?" he asks.
"That is up to you," the Director replies, "Tony should be able to answer that question well enough, or maybe Mrs Potts."
"Uh... OK..."
"Good."
Peter only returns to himself when the door closes behind him, eyes widening as he realises what he's done.
"Loki's gunna kill me!" Peter shrieks, "And that's if Mr Stark doesn't get me first!"...
(Little does he know...)
(Loki and Tony couldn't be mad at Peter and his reason for it...)