Work Text:
“Admiral! Hi, hello. Lovely to see you!”
Kat looked up, startled, as her arrival on the bridge was greeted with a blur of blue and orange. Ensign Sylvia Tilly, hair pulled back but still flying, had sped across the bridge and was now in full flow, tangents bouncing off each other as the words fell out of her mouth. Katrina smiled, amused. Before Tilly could get too far into the subject of her teen years, however, Captain Pike interrupted and Tilly refocused her attention on Kat, pinning her with eyes that were both startlingly intelligent and yet still very young. She had always suspected the younger woman had a slight crush on her, whether it be from hero worship or something more, and thought she saw confirmation there today. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a fond look pass between Detmer and Owosekun, as if the two bridge officers had noticed too. She smiled again; she did happen to have observed how attractive the younger woman was as well. Even if she’d never dream of acting on it.
Her message delivered, Tilly returned to her station and Katrina regretfully turned her attention to Captain Pike and the mission at hand. Enough fun for one day; it was time to get serious.
The door chimed, and, curious, Kat got up to answer it. Outside was Ensign Tilly, her eyes puffy and swollen and her face a splodgy red mess.
“Can I come in?”
Kat studied her for a moment, then stepped back wordlessly. Tilly stepped past her into the room and flopped down into a chair, looking up at the Admiral with distress all over her face.
“I’m so sorry for coming here like this, but I just needed to get away for a minute. I know everyone else is sad too, and they’re all being so lovely, but I can feel them looking at me and I can’t take any more pressure!” Tilly bit back a sob, burying her face in her hands.
Katrina lowered herself into the chair opposite. “Pressure?” she asked gently.
Tilly lowered her hands again. “Airiam,” she said, simply. “She and I were so close to getting together. I think. I was going to ask her out. I’m sure she would have said yes. And now I’ll never know.’ Fresh tears started running down Tilly’s face, and Kat felt her heart twist for the young woman in front of her. She leaned forward slightly in her seat, keeping her voice soft and level when she spoke.
“And all your colleagues and friends knew this? So they’re expecting reactions from you and you feel like you’re under a microscope when you’d rather be left alone to process how you feel first.”
“That’s exactly it!” Tilly burst out. “What do they want me to do?! Declare my undying love for her? Shrug my shoulders and get on with it? I’ve barely had time to realise she’s gone, let alone work out how I feel other than really really fucking sad! And kind of angry. But mostly just… sad.”
Kat shifted her chair and put her arms around Tilly; for a split second she questioned the decision but then the younger woman burrowed into her and began to cry in earnest. For a long while they stayed like that, Kat rocking Tilly slightly and occasionally making soothing noises while the other woman shook in her arms. Eventually, her sobs began to subside and Tilly sat up straight, pulling her hair out of her face and wiping her eyes.
“Oh gosh I’m so sorry, I’ve made such a mess of your uniform!” she stammered.
“Don’t worry about it,” Kat replied with a smile, passing a box of tissues over to her. Tilly took it gratefully, pulling a tissue from the box and blowing her nose loudly before dabbing at her eyes.
“Thank you,” she smiled weakly.
“Anytime,” replied Kat sincerely. “My door is always open.”
Tilly smiled again and stood, wiping her hands awkwardly on her thighs.
“I should, uh, be getting back,” she gestured towards the door. “My friends will be worrying about me.”
Kat nodded, getting to her feet as well. “Will you be ok?”
“Probably not.” She shrugged, half smiling. “But yes, eventually.” She hesitated, then turned to leave, before hesitating again.
“What?” asked Kat, curious.
Tilly turned back, facing her fully and fidgeting with the hem of her jacket. “This is probably a terrible idea, and a terrible time. But I just lost someone I loved, and I’ll never know now what could have happened with her. So I think it’s sometimes important to just say things, and then you won’t regret never having said them.”
Kat nodded slowly. “Ok…”
“So yes, I liked Airiam. But I like you too. And I’ll never get to explore how I feel about her, and I don’t want to make that mistake again. So I know it sounds crazy, but would you maybe like to get a coffee with me sometime?”
Kat couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her. “You’re right, that does sound crazy, and yes it is a terrible time.” Tilly’s face fell, and she turned again as if to leave. “No, wait, I’m sorry.” Kat reached out to grab her by the shoulder, and Tilly looked back up at her, her face a mess and her eyes shining again. Kat took a deep breath.
“Sylvia. Now is not the time. You’re mourning your friend, and don’t forget we also happen to be fugitives. But I understand why you wanted to tell me now, and I appreciate the courage it took for you to speak up when you’re still hurting. So when the time is right, yes, I would love to take you for coffee.”
A smile started to spread across Tilly’s face as she nodded. “Ok. Yes. Running for our lives from Section 31 and possible other people out to get us, not the most conducive environment for romance. Got it.”
Kat grinned. “Then again, you’re pretty adorable whether you’re running for your life or not.” Without stopping to think too much, she stepped forwards and lightly kissed Tilly on the cheek. “Go find your friends. But I’m glad you came to see me.”
Tilly, who had raised a hand to her now slightly pink face, nodded again. “Sure. And thanks. For…” she waved her arms randomly, “all this.”
Kat nodded too and stepped back. “Like I said, anytime.” She pressed the button to open the doors. “I’ll see you soon, Tilly. Look after yourself.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good. Because I’m looking forward to getting to know you better, when all of this has blown over, so you’d better keep that promise.”
“Noted! Goodnight… Katrina.” Tilly blushed a little again at her boldness, and Katrina felt her tummy flip slightly at how adorable the girl was.
“Goodnight, Sylvia.”
The doors slid shut behind her, and Kat was left to wonder what on Earth she was getting herself into.