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Maria didn't feel old, per se. Sometimes, she still felt like a teenager when Carol was around, though it probably had a lot to do with her sunshine of a girlfriend who'd never grown up past the age of fifteen. Or at least it felt like that from time to time. But she did feel old whenever Monica told her about something college related. Because the fact of the matter was, her little baby was in senior year of high school, she was taller than Carol and she would turn eighteen in a couple of months. It was depressing. It made her feel much older than she was.
One evening, she came home to Carol and Monica seating in the living room, a bunch of old cassette tapes spread out all over the carpet from three cardboard boxes.
"What's going on?" she asked as she took off her jacket.
Carol stopped ordering the tapes and stood up to make her way over, while Monica remained focus on the many tapes piled up all around her.
"Your dad was cleaning their attic and he found those old boxes of tapes from when Monica was young. You know, the ones I filmed?"
Maria stopped taking off her shoes to consider Carol's words for a moment. She thought those tapes had been lost when they'd moved, and she didn't remember giving them to her parents, but apparently, she did.
Carol kissed her on the corner of the lips quickly and took her hand to lead her to the couch.
"I didn't remember there were that many," Maria confessed as she kneeled on the carpet and began looking over a pile. Those were all dated from 1986, around the time Monica was 2-3 years old.
Carol shrugged.
"I remember spending a fortune on that recorder!"
Monica finally stood up, after placing another tape on one of the piles.
"Wait, you bought the recorder?"
Carol shrugged.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I just thought you already had one."
"Nope, I bought it especially for you, so I could record everything you did as soon as you were born."
"Speaking of," Maria intervened.
She showed a tape labeled 'June 1983 – Birth of the baby frog'.
"The baby frog?" Monica asked in disbelief as she read the label.
"You did look like a baby frog," Carol said.
"You do know that a baby frog is a tadpole, right?" Monica asked back.
"So, you looked like a little frog. Whatever, you looked like a frog."
Carol quickly got a hold of the tape and moved over to the TV. She put the tape in the VCR and they all sat on the couch, a sea of tapes still piled up on the carpet in front of them. Carol moved to sit right beside Maria, leaning against her.
After a few seconds of black, then off jumping images, the grainy video began.
They were in a small hospital room, with only the neon on the ceiling to light it up. The washed-up colors of the walls and floor didn't translate well with the low quality of the tape. In the hospital bed, a young Maria was trying to open her apple sauce.
"Are you filming?" she asked.
"Hey, I spent $300 on this baby, I'm going to use it as much as possible!" Carol replied from behind the camera.
"Then why are you filming me?"
"Because you're gorgeous, obviously!" Carol replied instantly.
Monica looked at her moms on the other side of the couch.
"Where you two dating already when I was born?"
"Yes," Maria confessed. "We started dating two months before you were born. I started suspecting something when Carol kept saying that I was gorgeous even though I looked like a whale."
"I said you were gorgeous because you were. And you still are," Carol added with a kiss on Maria's cheek.
Monica rolled her eyes. She looked back at the TV.
Carol had moved closer to the plastic crib. She filmed the sticker glued to the side. It said Monica Susan Rambeau, born 6th of June 1983. Then Carol moved to film inside of the crib. There was a tiny baby in a red onesie sleeping on her back, her toothless mouth hanging open slightly. A messy tuft of black hair fell on her forehead. A small teddy bear and a soft square of blanket rested beside her, as her tiny little fists couldn't grasp anything yet.
"She's adorable," Carol squealed from behind the camera.
"Don't wake her up," Maria warned.
"I'm not going to wake her up, look."
Carol poorly zoomed in on Monica's sleeping face.
"Baby frog is sleeping."
"Don't call my baby girl a frog."
"But she is, though! Look at those little legs."
Carol zoomed in on one of Monica's leg, which was entirely covered by the pajama leg. Then, she stood up, and the camera jerked away from the baby. It took a bit of time for it to stabilize once again on Monica's sleeping form.
"She's a cute little baby frog."
The camera moved back to Maria who was looking at Carol with a glare, though it didn't have much effect as she was also trying to hold in a smile.
"Just accept it, you made a baby frog."
Carol looked back at the crib and almost jumped back. Monica was awake and staring at her with giant dark eyes.
"Oh my god, she's awake!"
"I told you not to wake her up!"
"It's okay, I got this."
The recording turned off, then turned back on. This time, it was Maria who was filming from the bed. Carol had picked up Monica and was holding her extremely carefully as if she were the most precious thing on the planet and a single wrong move could shatter her into a thousand pieces. She was tentatively rocking her back and forth, and Monica was still very silent and contemplative.
"See? No cries," Carol said softly.
Monica's tiny fist rose up and caught one of Carol's blond lock in her hand. She just held onto it, probably because she didn't have the strength to pull on it just yet.
"Haha, taking care of babies is easy," Carol chuckled.
"Continue like that and I'll leave you to take care of her for a week."
"I'm sure Monica and I would have a lot of fun. Wouldn't we, Monica?"
Monica suddenly started squirming, which made Carol hold onto her even more strongly. Behind the camera, Maria sighed.
"Here, pass her over."
The recording stopped once again, and when it started, Carol was once again the one filming. Maria was holding Monica in her arms and the little baby had stopped squirming.
"Something tells me she doesn't like band tee-shirts," Maria joked.
"Are you saying that just because you want me to get rid of them? Because I seem to recall you liked my band tee-shirts on Sunday mornings after crashing at my place."
"I liked that they were tee-shirts because mine reeked."
"It's not that she doesn't like band tee-shirt. Hum? Don't you, Monica? She likes band tee-shirts, she just wanted her mom."
Maria had a moment of silence, where her expression became completely neutral. It was as if everything was dawning on her. She was a mother. She had given birth to this wonderful little human being in her arms. This was her daughter. All of this seemed to go above Carol's head, as she zoomed in on Monica once again.
"Baby frog is happy now."
The rest of the tape was more or less the same. Carol had filmed an excessive amount of footage in that hospital room, to the point that Monica felt compelled to pick up the remote and fast forward. It was no wonder there were so many of those tapes.
"Hey!" Carol complained as she fast-forwarded the tape.
"Come on, it's all the same!" Monica replied.
"Alright then, let's change tape! You pick one."
Monica stopped the tape and rewound it. She slid off the couch and began looking through all the tapes there. Most of them were just labeled with a month and a year, sometimes a day when it was something important, like a birthday or the 4th of July. Some, however, had other little bits and pieces of information. Soon enough, Monica was tied between two she really wanted to check out. One said 'March 1988 – Monica and her bike'. The other said 'June 1984 – First word'.
"Come on! No time to waste if we want to watch them all!" Carol declared with excitement.
"We're not watching every single tape tonight, Carol," Maria replied.
"But this is exactly why I bought the recorder for! So we could watch all the tapes when Monica's older and feel old and all."
"Well, you've succeeded."
Carol pressed another kiss on Maria's cheek.
"Aw! If it makes you feel better I feel old too."
Carol placed her arm around Maria's shoulders and pulled them closer. Monica looked back at both tapes and decided on the oldest one. She ejected the previous tape, placing it on the shelf beside the VCR and inserted the new tape. She then hurried back on the couch.
Carol was once again the one filming, except that very quickly she placed the recorder on the coffee table. She made sure it was pointed in the right place, then went back to Monica and Maria. Monica was seating on her playing mat, a bunch of toys and plushes spread around her. Her frizzly black hair had grown a lot, and it now looked like she had a big pompom above her head. She was in an adorable pink onesie with a little rabbit on it. Maria was seating in front of her, her legs crossed. Carol came to sit between them.
"You ready Monica? Just like we rehearsed. Who is that?"
Monica looked at Carol's hand, pointing toward Maria.
"Mama!" Monica declared, her high-pitched voice seemingly bursting out of her mouth.
"Yes, that's right," Maria said, obviously on the verge of tears.
"Mama!" Monica said again.
"Good Job, Monica!" Carol replied.
She then moved her hand to point at herself.
"And who am I?" she asked with a smile.
"Mama!" Monica replied.
Carol frowned.
"No, Monica. Who am I?" she said again slowly, articulating every syllable.
"Mama!" Monica shouted.
Carol shook her head.
"No, I'm Auntie Carol! Remember? We rehearsed it today."
"Mama!" Monica continued to say.
Carol looked at Maria.
"I'm sorry, I swear the didn't call me like that before."
Maria frowned.
"Why do you apologize?"
"I don't want you to think that I'm stealing your place. You're her mom and I'm not."
Monica had already scampered off, quickly walking on all fours to get to one of her toys. Maria moved closer to Carol and took her hand in hers. Their eyes met.
"Hey. You've been taking care of her just as much as I have. You're her mom too, and she knows it. She wouldn't be calling you 'mama' too if she didn't."
"You're okay with her calling me mama?"
"I'm more than okay. You are her mom."
In the video, Maria placed a kiss on Carol's lips. On the couch, Carol placed a kiss on Maria's lips. Either way, their kiss was interrupted by Monica. Whether it be seventeen years old Monica rolling her eyes at her moms' antics or one-year-old Monica hefting herself up to the coffee table to look at the expensive recorder like it was her new toy.
"Monica, no!"
Carol rushed up to the recorder and pressed pause, stopping the recording. It changed to something else, more of Carol filming Monica, but Monica paused it. She turned to her parents who looked at her expectedly, waiting for her to talk.
"I don't remember ever calling you mom."
"We made you stop when you entered kindergarten," Maria explained. "We didn't want people to think of you differently because you had two mothers, so we told you to call Carol 'Auntie Carol'."
"Hum. It's kind of sad," Monica said.
Carol shrugged.
"It's how things are. Not much we could do about it. We wanted you to have a normal childhood."
Monica smiled.
"Normal isn't really the word I would use."
Carol held out her free arm, proposing a hug to her daughter. Monica hesitated for an instant before she moved along the couch and side-hugged Carol, who held her back.
"Just so you know, I do consider you like my other mother. Even if I never say it."
"I know, Lieutenant Trouble. I know."
Monica pressed play on the remote and they watched as another scene unfolded, as Carol tried to teach Monica how to speak and the only thing Monica wanted to say was 'mama'.