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“So why the fuck did Freddie choose the furthest away studio to record again?” Roger asked Brian for the 4th time in the span of their journey that commenced only 20 minutes ago. They were currently cruising on the motorway, like they would be for another ten minutes, before the sat nav told them to turn left to begin the painfully long 40 minute journey until they arrived at Rockfield farm. When Freddie first suggested the peace and tranquility of farm life to record their next album (one that Freddie promised to bring fame), it was met with protests from both John and Roger, who were the groups designated drivers, however, it was Brian that managed to convince them, arguing that peace and quiet would do the quartet some good.
“Shut up moaning,” Brian rolled his eyes fondly, leaning his head against the cool glass of the passenger window of Roger’s Alfa. Brian knew deep inside that Roger wasn’t actually bothered about driving- he actually enjoyed it, especially when sat behind the wheel of his beloved vintage car, however, Roger was also a free spirit, and sticking to a rigid speed limit for the whole journey angered the blond no less, especially when Brian would scold him if he speed up just a little.
Despite this, Roger was a very safe and cautious driver. He passed his test with no minors on the first try. It also meant that he was the band’s taxi when it came to gigs- however Brian regularly stayed sober with him so he wasn’t the only one missing out on the fun.
“We have a perfectly good studio in London, Bri, and you know it” Roger shot back, his voice upping a few decibels to its signature whiney tone, one that Brian could never say no to. “It’s where we recorded our last one. Deaky only agreed because he is in love with Fred.” Roger muttered the last part under his breath and angrily rolling his eyes, causing Brian to smirk and rest his hand teasingly on Roger’s jean-clad thigh.
“And you only agreed because you’re in love with me.” Brian hummed lightly, as Roger scoffed half heartedly. It was true, he was head over heels for his poodle lover, and he had been since he joined smile a few years ago. That love only strengthened when they officially got together 10 months ago. ‘Long time coming’ Deaky teasingly laughed when he and Brian broke the news to the other pair of lovers that night. It was argued that Deaky and Freddie were a lot smarter when it came to their feelings. They got together when they both drunkenly confessed their feelings a mere month after the former joined the band. It took Brian and Rog a good few months of them dancing around their feelings (and a few stern words from John) to get over themselves. Roger took the first move. Openly staring at Brian’s lips whilst they were sat at the back of their van one night waiting for Freddie and John, before leaning in and shamelessly capturing them in his own.
And now here they sat, domesticated like an old married couple, bickering over Roger’s choice of playlist for the road (he insisted on the high school musical 3 soundtrack in the hopes Brian would be his Troy) and every so often, stealing soft looks at each other. Roger couldn’t wait until they arrived at the blasted farm and spent the night curled in Brian’s embrace. The thought of spending the next few months with just his band members made him smile.
“It’s the 7th July and it’s pouring it down,” Brian commented, taking a swig of Roger’s iced frappe that he had made them stop off to get. It was true. Living in England, they were used to the regular drizzle during the summer months, however this rain just didn’t seem to stop, getting heavier and pelting angrily against the windshield. “Are you sure you don’t want to stop off baby? We can wait for the rain to clear.” Brian asked. Roger shook his head.
“Nah, I don’t mind driving in the rain. Trust me.”
Brian did.
And Roger proved himself right as he turned into one of the country roads that would lead him in the right direction. All was well.
That was until the rain got heavier.
Roger was finding it increasingly difficult to see. He was wearing his contact lenses of course and his hair was tied back, but he was still leaning forward in his seat, squinting to make out the flashes of light from other cars, seemingly in a similar position to Roger.
High school musical had long since been turned off, and in it’s place, a traffic report blared through the speakers. The rain was causing the roads to be hazardous and drivers were warned to drive carefully.
Roger always did.
They got to a long winding road, steeping higher than the ditch at the side of the road. A typical cliff side road.
“Look at this, we get the whole road to ourselves!” Roger smiled brightly, but still not letting his eyes flicker from the road. Brian looked up from the book he was reading to see that Roger was indeed correct. The road was twisty and winding but as far as they could see, there was no one ahead.
That was until a lorry pulled behind them and Roger scowled at the novelty being taken from him. Roger now felt he had to pay even more attention, especially with a 50 tonne monster behind him, edging closer every moment.
“What is this twat doing?” Roger huffed at the vehicle that was practically riding his coattails behind him. Roger scowled through the wing mirror, trying to find the reason why the lorry driver was right up his ass.
“Relax baby, you’re doing great.” Brian soothed, placing a gentle hand on Roger’s forearm, just as a crack of thunder erupted from the clouds.
“Jesus Brian I don’t like this.” Roger uttered. He still had his foot on the pedal, trying to get away from the lorry whilst still being careful of the winding cliffside roads.
“We can stop off honey.” Brian decided, and just as Roger turned his head to agree, it happened.
It happened in slow motion.
Roger didn’t see it coming. One moment, the lorry was behind him, a little annoying but nothing too dangerous. As the thunder cracked, a screech of brakes were heard behind the Alfa and Roger watched through the rear view mirror as the driver pulled out from behind him to slip onto the opposite lane, ready to overtake Roger. The blond gulped. He could finally see it coming.
Just as the lorry edged to the side of Roger, a flash of amber let the two drivers know that there was indeed a car coming in the lane that the lorry was speeding in. They were heading straight towards each other.
“Fuck Bri,” Roger whispered, his words catching in his throat. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach when he heard the telltale squeal of brakes yet again. With approximately 2 seconds to spare, the lorry swerved back into Roger’s lane.
It happened.
The back of the lorry came colliding into the Alfa, with enough force to sweep the car straight off the road. Roger screamed as the force hit, throwing a hand in front of Brian in a desperate attempt to save him from falling into the ditch. It wasn’t enough.
They flew, suspended in the air for a brief moment, before the car came crashing down. It spun, one, twice as it hit the cliff edge and eventually smashed to the dirty field below.
It went black.
Nothing could be heard except the laboured struggles of Roger’s breath. Nothing could be seen, except the windshield decorated red. And for the second time within a few seconds, Roger screamed again.
His voice bounced off the walls that trapped him in the machine. The car was upside down, more or less ready to crush Roger and Brian. Brian- Brian!
“Bri?” Roger’s hoarse voice croaked out. His seatbelt was digging angrily into his neck and his shoulder hurt too much to turn fully and face him, especially when the airbag practically hid Brian from him. But all it took was for Roger to take in Brian’s form slumped over, legs bent inwardly and gushing red blood seeping from him to know that something was very wrong.
“No.” A broken sob escaped Roger’s throat. He ignored the shooting pain in his shoulder as he shoved back the airbag, desperately trying to get a glimpse of his lover. Desperate to see if he was still breathing. “Bri.” Roger whispered, tears steaming down his face as stinging his wounds. He reached a scratched and bruised arm out to brush back the mane of black curls. He almost wished he hadn’t.
Roger was almost certain Brian was dead. His eyes were shut, his face deathly pale, and a huge gash on his forehead was seeping, likely from the smash of the car windscreen. It was dark in the car, all light being blocked from the cars upside down state, however it wasn’t dark enough to hide the angry red that just wouldn’t stop flowing.
“Jesus fuck,” Roger whispered in disbelief. “Please God.”
Roger felt dizzy and sick, yet a piece of advice his father had given him many years ago swirled around in his head. Roger had been involved in a much smaller car smash when he was 17. When he called his father, he said that he must get out of the car as soon as possible- in case of explosion. Roger was lucky to alive, but he had to get out- and he had to get his boyfriend out- whether dead or alive.
Roger examined the position he was in. He was upside down, the ground crushing the ceiling of the car. His seatbelt was digging into him- a sharp shooting pain reminding him of the situation he was faced with. The radio had long been turned off, and Roger could only hear the muffled cries of pain as he wrestled his way out of the sacred seatbelt, hearing the signature pop before the blond relaxed, feeling the belt unravel until it was no longer constructing him.
Roger now turned to the door. He knew the doors would lock automatically as a result of the force, however he exhaled a shaky sigh of relief as he examined the broken glass of his window. He was just about small enough to crawl out.
“Fuck.” He swallowed, raising one arm to tentatively reach out of the window and letting his blood soaked hand grasp onto the roof, hauling his body through the tight gap. He had to stop for breath for a second, letting out a slight cry as his arm, which was trapped between his body and the steering wheel had to be carefully manoeuvred in its obviously broken stage.
Once Roger’s almost lifeless body fell to the ground on the outside, only then could he assess the soreness of the situation. He himself was in a lot of pain, with a broken arm, glass digging into his other forearm, as well as bleeding cuts on his forehead that he discovered when he winced as he brushed his hair back and felt the warm liquid trickle onto his fingers. As well as this, he was severely dizzy. He was afraid he would pass out from the slightest movement.
How he felt however was not the most important of his issues at that moment. He felt tears brim as he surveyed the destroyed Alfa, knowing the love of his life was currently trapped in the death machine, on the brink of life or death, and all because of Roger.
“I’m so sorry baby.” He hoarsely whispered, before beginning to make his way around to Brian’s side of the car the best he could, crawling when limping proved too difficult with his wounded body.
Once he got to Brian’s side, realisation sunk in about the severity of the situation. Roger thought his side of the car looked bad but it was nothing compared to Brian’s side. The passenger window was smashed in, angry jagged glass poking out. A certain shard was poking straight into Brian’s arm. Brian’s pale, lifeless arm...
And then there was the rest of him. Roger couldn’t suppress a whimper as he surveyed the slump unconscious body. His limbs were twisted in odd angle that left both of his legs trapped. It was a figure that was totally unlike Brian, yet horrifyingly, was Brian.
Now Roger wasn’t stupid. The man had gone to university to study dentistry for goodness sake, and so, he quickly acknowledged that it was going to be no easy feat getting Brian out of the car, especially in the state he himself was in. So he reached into his pocket, shaky fingers trembling as they grasped the mobile phone and pulled it out. The lords seemed to answer his prayer when the screen lit up, still surprisingly working despite the smashes and cracks that now adorned it.
Roger could barely type out the four figure password he was shaking so hard. He was fortunate enough that the had 2 bars of signal and prayed to a god he had never believed in before as he pressed John’s number, whilst reaching out to clasp his lovers cold hand.
It rung twice before Roger heard a click and his ear was no longer filled with deathly silence but instead, the voice of his best friend. Roger breathed a shaky sigh of relief, squeezing Brian’s hand tighter as if to awaken it, and let two lonely tears slip down his cheeks.
“Roger, you were meant to be here by now, what’s up?” Deaky’s voice asked. Roger could hear Freddie in the background talking about some lyric changes or something, but he blocked it out, using all of his strength to perform a coherent sentence.
“Deaky, there’s been an accident.”
The voice was quiet, broken and afraid, and that was all John needed to know that whatever happened was not good.
“Accident, what do you mean Roger?” His voice asked, quickly and loud enough to silence Freddie on the other side. Roger let out a loud sob.
“There was a lorry. An-and the cliff- the car and it slipped. And Brian, he’s...he’s...” he couldn’t bring himself to say it, instead, letting angry tears and whimpers flood the space, wishing this was all a dream. Wishing for his boyfriend to just wake up. ‘Haha got you!’ He’d say. But Brian didn’t even flicker an eyelid.
“Right, where are you Roger? Are you and Brian out of the car?” John asked urgently, fear clearly evident. If John was afraid then there was no hope for the rest of them. “Are you hurt?” He added, a little bit quieter, as if afraid of the answer.
“I don’t know where we are.” Roger confessed, quickly swiping off the call screen and onto google maps where he clicked to share his location with John. He heard said man instruct Freddie to quickly call an ambulance to that location. He heard John order Freddie out the door and the sound of a car starting immediately let Roger know they were on their way.
“Rog, are you hurt?” John said lowly.
“Yes.” Roger whispered. “But not as much as Bri.”
Despite the fingers over the microphone, Roger could hear John let out a muffled ‘fucking hell.’ “I don’t want to hurt him Deaky, his legs are trapped!”
“I know darling, I know.” John soothed. “But if you don’t get him out now, we might not be able to help him.”
Roger nodded, understanding the seriousness behind Johns words.
“Stay on the line sweetheart, I need you to talk to me and Freddie whilst you’re doing this so we know you’re okay.” John added, urging Roger to put his smashed phone down on the wet grass. The rain wasn’t stopping anytime soon, but the droplets that were freezing his skin were the least of his worries.
Roger emerged his head back through the smashed windscreen. As the car currently was upside down and on its side, it was impossible to use the door to get Brian out, and so, it was with shaky hands and laboured breathing, the blond wrapped his arms around his boyfriends torso and tried to drag him out. To his dismay, Brian wasn’t budging.
“Deaky it isn’t working!” Roger cried, his voice rising in octaves when his brain thought it was the perfect opportunity to tell him that he would never get Brian out, and the pair of them would die alone in a ditch in the middle of-
“Roger!” Deaky firmly shouted, immediately calming Roger’s panicking breaths. “Have you checked his seatbelt?”
Sure enough, the seatbelt was indeed what was locking Brian in pace, and a firm push from Roger’s part let the belt unbuckle free and Brian slumped forward, resting against Roger’s chest. The blond managed to catch his breath. Step one was complete.
“Rog? You there?” Deaky’s voice called out. “Sweetheart can you hear me?”
Roger let out a weak yes, before peeling away Brian’s limp body, glancing quickly before crying out in shock.
“Oh god!” He let out, before a sob escaped his throat, immediately startling Freddie, who was shouting for him over the line. Roger couldn’t bring himself to reply. Not when he was staring at the blank and broken face of his lover.
Brian’s curls had obviously been hiding the worse of it. The brunets nose was clearly broken, bleeding heavily onto the pale cracked lips below. Digging into his cheek was a sharp piece of glass that Roger had to remove quickly. Further up the face, his forehead was bearing a deep wound, most likely from the impact of the smash when it first happened. As Roger carefully traced his finger down the face, he couldn’t help but clench his eyes shut with tears. He had done this. He had hurt his beautiful angel.
“Roger, darling, it’s me Freddie!” Freddie’s voice broke the trance Roger was in and made him snap his head back up. “Can you get yourself and Brian safely out of the car for me darling?” He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice with soothing words. Roger swallowed down his guilt and hummed in response. He knew he was on borrowed time already, and with the risk of explosion, he couldn’t take any more chances.
And then Roger saw something that made his heart jump out of his chest. Something that helped him hold onto a tiny bit of hope.
“He’s breathing!” He shouted breathlessly, letting out a laugh of disbelief. Hope was not lost.
“He is?! Oh he is!” Freddie let out what sounded like a sob on the other line. All 3 were to afraid to even speak the D word. Roger couldn’t imagine his life without his Bri by his side and so it was a huge relief to find out there was still a chance. Roger just now had to get him to safety and as quickly as possible.
As Freddie was shouting out instructions of how to wiggle Brian out as carefully as possible, whilst being mindful of his obviously broken limbs, Roger heard Deaky come to the line, shouting something that made Roger stop his actions almost immediately.
“The ambulance are on their way Rog, but they won’t be able to get down the cliff. You need to try and get Bri to higher land darling.” Deaky announced and Freddie muttered something intelligible on the line. Roger heard the words ‘weak’ and ‘dangerous’ come from the singer’s voice and he swallowed thickly.
“Okay.”
He had already hurt and possibly killed his precious Bri, there was no way in which he was leaving him now.
“Roger, sweetheart, don’t hurt yourself-“ Deaky began, but all sound was cut from Roger’s ears as he breathed deeply through his cracked ribs and with an animalistic growl, heaved the rest of Brian’s limp body from the wreck.
Roger lay on the ground, his boyfriends body a dead weight on top of him. He was exhausted. The moment of pure adrenaline was wearing off and Roger could feel his vision going white at the edges as he gazed at the cloudy sky, rain pattering down softly on his face. Everything was getting lighter and lighter and the sun was providing a white light that left Roger spiralling. In the distance, Deaky’s voice was growing softer and softer.
“Roger!” Freddie screamed, enough to shake Roger from his trance. “Roger darling please!” Freddie let out a choked sob as Roger lazily reaches for his phone, ready to let Freddie know he was still alive- barely.
“I can’t Fred-“ Roger whispered, his lips barely moving as he spoke the words.
“Roger baby. You might not be able to do this for yourself. But you need to do it for Brian.” He urged. “For Brian, and for John and me. But for Brian. He needs you. We need you.” Freddie sobbed, sounding utterly broken. Roger could hear John gently kissing his head to calm him in the background like he always did when Freddie got stressed.
Brian. His poodle. His beanpole. The very man who was on the border of life and death. One moment longer and he could cross the border. That’s when Roger decided that he was going to use every last fucking molecule in his body to get Brian to safety.
Roger slowly sat up, blinking away the white light that was growing bigger, and the numbness that was beginning to take over his body subdued and he was left with an angry pain reminding him of his injuries.
He could do this. For Brian.
“I’m gonna do it.” He whispered.
One thing that made Roger count his blessings was that his boyfriend was a lanky thing. Roger could remember one night back when they had first got together, when the pair was so drunk that they decided it would be a good idea for Roger to give Brian a piggyback all the way home back from the pub. If a pissed Roger could do it then surely a half dead one could as well.
A cold clammy hand wrapped around a desolate rock as Roger shakily brought himself to standing, giving himself a few moments to catch his breath. He then leant down, starting his mission by positioning his hands under Brian’s armpits, hoisting the man up who was as limp as a rag doll.
Roger let out a grunt as all the breath left his body as he tried to slowly lift Brian up onto his shoulder. He thought his small size would be a problem however Brian managed to balance there no problem.
With Brian safely over his shoulder, Roger now turned to face the monstrous task of climbing the small mountain back onto road side. He swallowed thickly.
“Roger sweetheart we are nearly there. We just need you to get yourself and Brian as far up the cliff as you possibly can. Can you do that for me?” John asked softly but with urging in his voice.
“Yes.” Roger whispered, taking a tentative step forward, ignoring the stab in his chest and taking a few more, his phone safely in his back pocket so he had the boys voices with him every step of the way.
“Good boy, you’re doing so well Roggie.” Freddie said loudly, just as Roger’s fingers brushed the rocks, one hand steadying Brian and the other dragging his body as he stepped onto one that began his ascent.
“Argh!” Roger growled out in pain as a certain step made his breathing stop for a moment. He heard his friends panicked voices as he continued into a coughing fit. Roger cringed when he spotted the red flecks of blood painting the rocks after his wheeze. He too, was knocking on deaths door.
But he continued forwards like the warrior he was and only stopped for another coughing fit when he was about halfway up. He was exhausted that the white light was threatening him yet again, but the sound of slamming car doors and Freddie’s distressed wails about ten metres above him was enough for him to steady his breathing. The worst was over.
“Oh my fucking god!” Freddie burst into tears as his face appeared above Roger, looking down into the abyss of the wreck and Roger’s exhausted stance. “Oh darling, you’re safe now baby!” He assured Roger, shouting down to him as the blond took the opportunity to lower Brian’s body, and he himself leaned against the pointy rocks, the sharp stab distracting him from the other pain.
“Roger dear, they’re lowering a stretcher, can you manage to get yourself and Bri on it?” Roger heard John shout down from above, and true to his word, a bright yellow stretcher lowered to the large rock the pair were resting on. A few instructions on how to get on safely were shouted down by a paramedic but Roger ignored the precautions, rolling Brian on first and letting his own body fall on top of his, wanting it to be over already.
“Okay, we are pulling you up Mr Taylor.”
And as he felt the movement and strain of the stretcher, he let his eyes close for a brief moment, letting everything finally catch up on him. Tears spilled over as he still felt the steady thump thump thump of Brian’s heart. It was enough for him.
And then he was on land again. With people crowding around the pair like they were an exhibition at a museum. He faintly heard Freddie and John push through the crowd angrily and before he knew it, a calloused hand entwining with his let him know that they were there.
“Roger darling we are so proud of you, you saved Brian’s life. You are a fucking hero.” Freddie shakily whispered, tucking a blood stained strand of Roger’s hair behind his ear and pressing a kiss to his forehead. John didn’t say anything but from the way tears were silently steaming down his face and he was beaming at Roger as he shifted the blond so he lay next to Brian rather than atop him let him know he was thinking the same thing.
“I nearly killed him.” Roger mouthed, too tired to form words as his eyes fixed on a cloud above him. The scent of Brian next to him kept him grounded.
“Roger, you’re the reason he’s still with us” Deaky said quietly, just as a doctor shoved an oxygen mask on both their faces. As Roger closed his eyes, he smiled at the sound of Freddie furiously arguing with the doctor who wanted to put them both on separate stretchers, whilst John sweet talked the other nurse into letting them both ride in the ambulance.
The steady rise and fall of Brian’s chest was enough to calm Roger into shutting his eyes as they got carefully lifted into the back of the vehicle that would whisk them to safety. The worst was now truly over and with Freddie and John’s hands protectively over the pair, Roger felt himself dozing off. That was- until something made him snap his eyes open.
“Love...you-“ Brian weakly whispered.
Maybe he imagined it, but for that moment, it was all Roger needed to know it was going to be okay.
