Work Text:
Kakeru took in a deep breath, then knocked on the door.
“Come in,” he heard from inside the room. Haiji’s voice.
He exhaled, moving his hand to the doorknob. Turning it open, he entered the room, knowing the sight that would greet him inside.
Knowing didn’t make it any less painful.
There was Haiji on the white bed, his legs lifted up, crutches leaning on the wall next to the bed. There was a book on his lap, one of those that Prince brought from Haiji’s room on their visit, yesterday.
“You didn’t have to come, I’m getting discharged today,” Haiji teased with a smile.
“My last class was off, so I thought I’d pass by,” he explained, settling on the empty chair near the bed. I would’ve skipped it if it wasn’t, he didn’t say.
He didn’t want Haiji to stumble back home on his own.
Home. Chikuseisou. It probably wouldn’t be Haiji’s home for long, he thought, feeling a grip on his heart.
“Kakeru,” Haiji called out, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Yes, Haiji-san?”
“Thank you for coming,” Haiji said, his smile warm.
Kakeru tried to smile back. “It’s nothing.”
—
That day and the next were surprisingly uneventful, except for Shindou and Musa leaving to visit Shindou’s hometown in Yamagata.
Haiji settled back into his role as the dorm supervisor, the only difference was the presence of his crutches next to him. It did not change his bright presence at all.
Kakeru did not know why he thought it would, this was Haiji, the one who had faced every obstacle with a smile.
The one who had shared the doubts that he had kept within for months at end, if not years, that day on the train, surrounded by their sleeping teammates, Kakeru thought.
He heard a crunch as his grip on the grocery bag tightened.
Kakeru rounded the corner that would lead him to Chikuseisou, seeing a middle-aged man leave their dorm. He blinked. They don’t get visitors often, to his knowledge.
He hurried to the dorm, curiosity getting the best of him, seeing Haiji outside, getting out of an awkward-looking bow with one hand on his crutch.
Haiji straightened up, then, upon spotting Kakeru, let out a sigh, followed by a tight-lipped smile.
Kakeru tried to ignore the way his stomach dropped at the sight as he approached Haiji.
He heard a bark, startling both of them. They both looked down at Nira, Haiji reaching his hand out towards Nira then stopping it mid-air as he realised that he couldn’t lean down with his crutch in the way.
Kakeru averted his eyes.
“Kakeru,” Haiji called out. “Let’s go for a walk.”
He dragged his eyes up, shocked. “Now?”
“Nira’s been pretty impatient,” Haiji answered, smiling down at Nira. “Can you get his leash from my room?”
Kakeru nodded, quickly. He rushed inside the dorm, leaving the groceries on the kitchen table, then made his way to Haiji’s room. He tried not to look too closely at Haiji’s belongings, as he grabbed the red leash.
He rushed back outside, not wanting to keep Haiji waiting any longer.
Kakeru offered the leash to Haiji on instinct, then realised his mistake, feeling blood rush into his face. He leaned down to attach it to Nira’s collar.
He has never been this close to Nira, before, he thought. Even Fujioka seemed to have a closer relationship with Nira than Kakeru did, and Kakeru has been living here for nearly a year.
Was Nira going to live with Haiji after he graduates? The thought made his chest tighten, and he faltered in attaching the leash.
“Who took Nira on walks while you were away?” Kakeru wondered out loud, feeling guilty for not noticing before.
“Hana-chan was. She’s been busy with all the prep for the entrance exam, too. What a sweet girl,” Haiji said, sounding fond.
Kakeru’s guilt intensified. He busied himself with attaching the leash, keeping his head down.
“Don’t worry about it, she volunteered,” Haiji reassured, his tone warm, as though he had noticed Kakeru’s guilt. Kakeru wouldn’t put it past him. “Nira loves going out with Hana-chan, too. Right, Nira?”
Nira barked enthusiastically right in Kakeru’s face, startling him. He fell backwards on his butt.
Haiji burst out laughing, bright and loud.
Kakeru looked up, seeing an upside-down Haiji struggle to keep standing, leaning on his crutch for support as he continued laughing. He felt blood rush into his face in embarrassment as he rushed to stand up, a smile stealing its way into his face as he dusted his pants. It was good to hear Haiji laugh again.
“Shall we go, then?” He asked as Haiji’s laughter died down, hoping to leave this incident behind them.
“Yes, yes,” Haiji said, wiping his eyes.
Kakeru felt a tug on the leash, then looked down to the source. Nira was trying to head out, his tail wagging. Nira must be really eager for his walk.
Haiji looked down as well. “Let’s not keep Nira waiting any longer.”
They headed out, Nira leading them onwards.
The leash felt weird in his hand, he could feel each of Nira’s movements along with his eagerness to walk ahead to their destination, trying to set the pace. Kakeru felt cruel as he responded to Nira’s tugs with his own, fearing that he might be pulling too hard.
Patience, Nira, he thought, Haiji-san can’t keep up with your usual pace. He hoped that Nira could somehow sense his thoughts, feeling silly as he did.
Thankfully, after Nira’s initial spurt, Nira seemed to slow down, his fluffy tail raised as he walked leisurely. Kakeru let out a relieved sigh, relaxing his grip on the leash.
Kakeru looked up for the first time, wondering where they were headed. Nira seemed to know the way, and Haiji hasn’t mentioned anything to the contrary.
Haiji-san.
Kakeru whipped his head around, his heart beating fast as he stopped in his track, trying to locate Haiji.
Haiji blinked at him, two steps behind. “What’s wrong?”
“Uh, no, nothing,” he quickly answered, turning to the road ahead as he resumed walking. He tipped his head down, his lips forming a tight line as he tried to focused on his breathing.
After a short walk, they eventually reached a park. The same one that he had met Haiji in, that early morning following his first night at Chikuseisou. It almost looked like a different place with all the barren trees.
Haiji approached that same bench, leaning his crutch on its nearest side. Kakeru quickly ran up to him, holding his arm as he helped him sit down on the bench.
Nira came over to Haiji as well, and he looked down with a warm smile, eyes crinkling as he rubbed Nira’s fur. He reached out and unclipped his leash, then continued to rub Nira’s head as Nira whined, chuckling.
Kakeru settled down next to him as well, smiling at the sight. It really was almost the same as his first morning here. Kakeru’s smile dropped as he raised his head, taking in the trees around them. Soon enough, these trees will grow their leaves back.
Will he get to see Haiji like this again?
Sometime during his musing, Nira wandered off to the other side of the bench, sniffing around the ground. Kakeru looked back to Haiji, finding him kneading his knee, his lips pulled into a tight line.
This was the second time he had seen him like this today, Kakeru thought, recalling Haiji’s expression when he first came back home that day.
“Haiji-san, who was that man?” Kakeru found himself asking.
Haiji’s hands stopped their motion for a moment. “I was wondering when you’d ask,” he said, his lips tugging upwards in one direction. “That was an inspector, sent by the university.”
“Inspector?”
“They want to renovate Aotake.”
Kakeru’s eyes widened, his mouth opening then snapping shut.
“They came to visit me at the hospital, saying that they were expecting an increase in applications in time for the centre exam, especially after our display at Hakone. That old building won’t be enough to host all the potential runners, they said.”
“Did you agree to it?”
“I told them it wasn’t my decision to make. My role as captain was done the moment I crossed the finish line,” Haiji answered. Turning to Kakeru with an apologetic smile, he continued, “Sorry for not telling you guys earlier. I wanted to say something after getting back from the hospital, but then Shindou and Musa announced that they would go to Yamagata for the weekend.”
“You didn’t want to ruin it for them,” Kakeru concluded.
“Shindou deserves this break,” Haiji said, closing his eyes. His smile turned bitter.
Kakeru stayed silent for a while, trying to take it in. Renovating Chikuseisou, what would that entail?
He glanced sideways, noting that Haiji went back to massaging his leg in the ensuing silence.
Kakeru stood up, picking Nira’s leash. “I’ll continue Nira’s walk on my own, after all.”
“Kakeru?”
“I’ll call a cab for you. It’s too soon for you to walk this much, Haiji-san,” he said, turning to face him with a smile.
Haiji opened his mouth a bit, then closed it, letting out a light, bitter laugh as he tilted his head down. “Yeah, you’re right.”
As Kakeru brought his phone out, Haiji piped up, “Hey, Kakeru.”
“Yes, Haiji-san?” He answered without looking up.
“They offered me a job,” Haiji let out in a rush. “They want me to become the assistant coach for the team. Officially.”
Kakeru’s fingers halted.
“That’s...” Kakeru started, then trailed off, his heart skipping a beat then pounding fast. That’s great, he wanted to say. You won’t have to move out, you can stay here with us. We won’t have to say goodbye. He opened his mouth to say this as he looked up from his phone, stopping when he noticed Haiji’s expression.
It was the same one from that day on the train, when Haiji first shared his doubts with him.
“Do you not.. want to?” Kakeru found himself asking instead.
Haiji turned to face him, his eyes wide and frenzied. “I.. I don’t know.”
Nira barked, and Haiji blinked before looking down at Nira, almost like he had forgotten about Nira’s presence. Nira rubbed his head on Haiji’s right leg, making him chuckle as he reached out to stroke the top of Nira’s head.
“Haiji-san,” Kakeru called.
Haiji glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. “Kakeru—“
“Maybe you should share this with the rest of the team,” Kakeru interrupted, smiling.
Haiji’s head turned to face him more properly, his eyes widening. Then, he looked down, smiling almost sheepishly. “You’re right.”
Kakeru‘s smile stayed on his face as he turned his attention back to the phone. He could feel Haiji watch him as he made the call.
When he was done, Haiji spoke up.
“Man, what great advice, that was. Where did you get that from, Kakeru?”
“Yes, yes. You’re very wise,” Kakeru replied, resigning himself to a wait full of jokes on his expense.
It was worth it, though, if it meant that he will get to see Haiji smiling, wide and carefree.
Good thing Yuki and King were not here to hear it, too.
—
When Shindou and Musa came back the next day, the team gathered for a dinner party in the twins’ room for the first time since Haiji announced their sections. Haiji had dismissed Kakeru’s concerns earlier, as they prepared dinner. He could go up the stairs, he reassured Kakeru. It would be weird to have a party in the kitchen, it’s a tradition to have it in the twins’ room, at this point.
Kakeru tried his best not to hover as he helped bring the food up there.
He listened to Shindou and Musa recount their trip, Shindou’s face already red from the single beer he had. He looked healthier now, Kakeru noted, even with his face flushed. He sounded coherent, at least.
Kakeru glanced in Haiji’s way, wondering when he would start talking. It wouldn’t be too long until Shindou lost that coherence.
Haiji held his own beer in hand, staring down at the can, his face neutral. Suddenly, he snapped his eyes open, slamming his beer down on the table. “Everyone, listen up. I have something important to say.”
All the guys looked up, startled. Even Kakeru, and he was observing Haiji.
“You’re not going to spring another Hakone on us, are you?” Nico asked, laughing.
“It’s related to that. Or rather, a consequence of it,” Haiji answered, sounding completely serious. “The university board wants to renovate this place.”
Everyone started talking at once. Kakeru resisted the urge to bring his hands up to his ears to block out the sound.
“Does that mean we’ll get AC?” Joji shouted over everyone, sounding excited.
“What? That’s not fair,” King complained. “We suffered through this hellhole for 4 years.”
“How can you even think of summer in this cold?” Yuki wondered.
”But what would the renovation entail?” Musa asked, frowning.
“They want to keep the place looking like it is. Incoming first years will expect the same place that they had seen in the documentary, so they don’t want Chikuseisou to lose its charm, or so they said,” Haiji explained. “It’s an offer, though. You guys don’t have to accept it.
“Keep in mind that if you do go with the renovations, they’ll have to expand the place. Even if you choose to train a core group for the next Ekiden, you’ll have to go with more than 10 people,” Haiji said, then trailed off, his gaze focusing on a spot on the table. “You can’t have a 10 person squad like we did this time, in case something happens.”
“Like me getting sick,” Shindou interjected, his face neutral.
Haiji closed his eyes. “Yes,” he confirmed. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and continued, “If you do go for it, then you must be prepared to temporarily move into a different place until they’re done with this place. That might get in the way of practice,” Haiji said, looking each of the remaining team members in the eyes.
When Kakeru’s turn came, he felt the hairs on his neck stand on end. Those intense eyes of his were back, full-force.
Only when they left him to find their next target could he breathe.
Shindou broke the silence. “What did the coach say about this?”
Right, Kakeru thought, his eyebrows rising. This should be his decision in the first place.
“I haven’t told him yet.”
“Can you do that?” Yuki asked, frowning. “He’s the landlord, you know.”
“He mentioned before that the first thing he’d do with funds is to renovate this place. I wouldn’t be surprised if this entire thing was his idea, or if the board got a hold of his wishlist somehow.”
“That’s the ogre lord, alright,” Kakeru heard Prince mumble next to him.
“That’s surprising for the coach, he isn’t very coach-like, is he?” Jota piped up.
“He did seem a bit coach-like during the Ekiden,” Musa said.
“Not a very strong defence, Musa,” Nico commented.
“Even then, he was mostly relaying Haiji-san’s orders, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah, Haiji is more of a coach than he is,” King said.
Kakeru looked towards Haiji at that, noticing the lines between his eyebrows and his pulled in lips. In any other circumstances, Haiji would have defended the coach. The offer must be eating at him, if he was staying silent.
Haiji looked back at him, and Kakeru nodded in reassurance. Haiji’s lips relaxed at that, tugging upwards in a hint of a smile, then he breathed in.
“Speaking of which, the university offered me a position as the assistant coach,” Haiji announced.
A chorus of ‘What!’ and ‘No way!’ followed his announcement, and Kakeru, who had heard this before, looked around. Yuki and King looked like they just got punched in the guts.
“That’s great, Haiji-san!” Shindou said, smiling brightly.
Haiji smiled back, tight-lipped, then looked down. “I’m… not sure if I’m going to say yes.”
“What do you mean?” Musa asked.
“I’m proud of you guys, but thinking of having to watch over you guys run, day in and day out, while knowing that I can’t run there with you?” Haiji looked up with watery eyes, then continued with a tight smile, “I think I’m too selfish for that.”
Kakeru heard Nico-chan-senpai huffing next to him. “Come on, if anyone deserves to let it out, it’s you.”
Haiji’s lips trembled. “What, here?”
“You can always blame it on the alcohol,” Nico replied, raising his own beer as he smiled at Haiji, eyes fond.
“I barely drank, though,” Haiji retorted, letting out a wet laugh.
“You’re not a lightweight like Shindou, huh,” King said, laughing as well. His eyes were red, too, Kakeru noted.
“Me? I’m a lightweight?” Shindou asked, sounding surprised.
“Musa had to physically restrain you at the Christmas party,” Nico said, incredulous.
“I… really?” Shindou blinked, turning to face Musa for confirmation.
“It’s okay, you’re very light,” Musa reassured him.
“I’m not sure if that’s what he wanted to hear, Musa-san,” Jota teased.
Kakeru laughed as Shindou inquired more about his lightweight shenanigans, his face turning even more red with each shared story.
“You’ve been oddly silent,” Prince suddenly said next to him.
“Uh, yeah, I guess.”
“So Haiji told you about this before.”
“Yeah,” Kakeru replied. “You don’t sound surprised either.”
“It’s the natural order of things.”
“Natural… order?”
“In sports manga, most of the protagonists are first years, but the stories tend to end in two different ways depending on the focus,” Prince started explaining. “If the focus is on the team as a whole, then the story would end with them reaching their assigned goal.”
Hakone, Kakeru thought.
“Mine and Haiji’s stories ended there. Even though Haiji was the catalyst of our story, he isn’t the protagonist. Seniors never are.”
Thinking of Haiji’s story ending made something twist inside him. “What about the second end?”
“The story doesn’t end when the team reaches their goal because the focus is on the protagonist and his character development. Like Onoda,” Prince provided as an example. “You too, I guess. Though you’re more of an Imaizumi, but not as tall.”
“Huh. Which one was that again?”
“The bike one.”
“Oh, that. Haven’t read it, the art looked weird.”
“You have no taste,” Prince stated as he flipped his manga to another page.
—
“Haiji-san, can I ask you something,” Kakeru said later than night, stopping Haiji in his tracks before he could get back into his room.
“Sure,” Haiji answered, smiling, his hand leaving the knob.
“I know that you don’t want to coach us anymore, and this might be selfish of me to ask, but Hana-chan is busy with the prep for—“
“Kakeru, ask already,” Haiji interrupted, smiling patiently despite his words.
Kakeru, to his own embarrassment, nodded a couple times too quickly. Taking a deep breath, he said in a hurried voice, “Can you look over the notes after practice tomorrow?”
“Okay,” Haiji simply said, his smile still in place. “Good night, Kakeru.”
“Ah, yes, good night,” Kakeru replied, blinking as Haiji closed the door behind him.
He let out the breath he was holding in. Well, that went easier than he had thought it would.
—
Kakeru stopped in front of Haiji’s room, reaching his hand to knock, only to stop when he heard murmurs inside.
There was Haiji’s voice, its tone soft and warm, along with another, higher pitched voice that Kakeru was familiar with.
Hanako was inside Haiji’s room, too.
Kakeru frowned, then knocked on the door, putting more force into his knocks than intended. He winced, then tried to put his face into a more neutral expression as Haiji called out for him to get in.
He found Hanako and Haiji sitting in the low table in the middle of Haiji’s room, books filling every surface on the table, with the odd snacks scattered around, along with two cups of tea.
Kakeru’s wince came back on his face, this time with sympathy. Right, Hanako had the National Centre Test to prepare for.
Hanako looked up. “Hello, Kakeru-san,” she greeted, her usual smile edged with tiredness.
“Sorry, do you need me to leave?” He said with a low voice, hesitant.
“If you’re back, then so are the others. It will get noisy here soon enough,” Haiji said, smiling.
Hanako stretches her arms over her head, looking towards the window, then slumped down on the table. “It’s evening already, huh. I’ve been studying for hours.”
“Hana-chan, posture,” Haiji lightly scolded, sipping his tea.
“Posture isn’t going to help me with the exam, Haiji-san,” Hanako replies, voice muffled by the table.
“Your back is going to thank you during the exam, believe me.”
Hanako straightened up at that, pouting as she did.
Kakeru took all of this in, still standing in the doorway, his hand on the handle. He felt like he was intruding on some sort of family dynamic.
Haiji was going to say goodbye to more people than just the nine of them, he realised.
“Kakeru, take a seat already, you’re not a stranger,” Haiji interrupted his thoughts with a teasing smile.
Hanako had a matching smile on her face, too.
Snapping out of it, Kakeru hesitantly nodded as he took a seat across Haiji.
“How are your studies going, Hana-chan?” He attempted to ask.
“Haiji-san promised he’d help me, but…” she trailed off, laughing.
“I just don’t know this stuff,” Haiji finished for her, chuckling as well. “I thought they were planning to make the centre test easier, but it’s still as hard as ever.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you study, Haiji-san,” Kakeru mentioned, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to remember.
“I’ve been really neglecting my studies since the whole Hakone thing started, I’ve only been doing the bare minimum to pass,” Haiji answered. Turning to Hanako, he said, “Don’t be like me, Hana-chan.”
“No wonder you couldn’t help with this,” she said with an innocent-sounding tone, pointing at one of the many books on the table.
“Hey, that’s science-y stuff. I’m a literature major, what did you expect?”
Kakeru took a look at the book Hanako had pointed to, shuddering as he glimpsed at all the scientific terms. He would offer help, too, except he had barely gotten in, himself. “Musa-san is probably good at this,” he remarked.
“Musa-san was travelling with Shindou-san all weekend, I didn’t want to interrupt their vacation,” Hanako replied with a light laugh as she started clearing up the books on the table.
“So I wasn’t your first choice?” Haiji gasped with a mock-offended expression.
“No, you were!” Hanako tried to explain, flustered, waving her hands in front of her in a pacifying manner that was too energetic to be pacifying. “Just not for the studying part.”
“I don’t know whether to be touched or offended,” Haiji said, chuckling.
Hanako chuckled as well, letting her hands down to continue clearing up her books. “I didn’t mean it like that, Haiji-san,” she elaborated.
Feeling useless, Kakeru helped her as well, earning a bright smile from Hanako.
Shoving the last of her books into her bag, Hanako stood up. “Well, I should get going, it’s getting late.”
“Take care, okay?” Haiji said, looking up at her with a smile.
Stopping at the door, she turned around, her face settling into a neutral look that Kakeru had never seen on her face before. “Haiji-san, will you..”
Haiji’s smile softened. “I will, sorry for worrying you, Hana-chan.”
She shook her head, her usual smile was back in full force. Its edges seemed to shake slightly as she said her goodbyes, hurried.
They could still hear her fast steps as she left Haiji’s room, along with Joji’s voice piping up in greeting, their voices mixing together for a few moments until they heard the front door slide shut.
Haiji settled down his teacup with a barely heard sigh, drawing Kakeru’s attention back. “So, what do you have for me, Kakeru?”
“Aren’t you tired?”
“You heard her, I was barely helping,” Haiji said with a self-deprecating smile.
“I’m not sure about that,” Kakeru said, distracted, as he opened his notebook. “She seemed to appreciate having you around.”
“You think so?”
“Haiji-san’s support always makes me feel better,” he answered as he found the page he was looking for, handing it over to Haiji.
Haiji blinked at him for a moment as he reached out to get the notebook, then, looking down at the notebook, he smiled.
Kakeru found himself smiling as well even though Haiji wasn’t looking. As Haiji took in the numbers on the page, Kakeru started, “Jota didn’t show up to evening practice.”
“So he ran this morning, huh.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“Are you?” Haiji asked as he continued reading Kakeru’s notes.
Kakeru hesitated, thinking back to morning practice. Joji outperformed Jota then, the gap between their times getting larger than ever before. Jota looked perfectly fit, then. It was not due to physical ailments, Kakeru concluded.
Thinking back on it, Joji always had better records than Jota, despite them being identical.
“Do you think they talked about this?” Kakeru asked, instead.
“Probably,” Haiji answered, smiling. “Anything else?”
“Musa-san got a new best record, he’s getting closer to me than ever.”
Haiji beamed. “That’s amazing!”
“Yeah,” Kakeru said, his own lips lifting up as pride swelled inside him. “Shindou-san also got close to his old record.”
“So he’s better now,” Haiji said, sounding relieved.
“He is,” Kakeru reassured. “He and Musa-san were probably training even in Yamagata.”
“Those honour roll students,” Haiji sighed, sounding both annoyed and fond.
“I don’t think Musa-san would let him run if he wasn’t feeling better,” Kakeru said, trying to cover up for them.
“Yeah, Musa’s too responsible to let him run recklessly after what happened at Hakone,” Haiji replied, smiling mirthlessly down at the notebook. “He would make a good vice-captain.”
Vice-captain, huh. That was also one of the things that the remaining team members would have to discuss, Kakeru thought, feeling his stomach drop at the reminder.
“Kakeru,” Haiji called out, snapping Kakeru out of his thoughts. “Please support them.”
“Shindou-san and Musa-san?”
“Shindou helped me with leading the team, and even then it felt overwhelming for both of us,” Haiji said, his eyes distant. “I didn’t even notice that he was pushing himself too hard until it was too late. It was the same with Nico-chan-senpai, too.”
Kakeru looked down, guilt eating at him. That was his fault.
“The board hasn’t approached me about this, but they probably will, soon. You’re all gonna have to choose a captain to lead you, and it won’t be you,” Haiji started, looking at him with a hardened stare.
“Haiji-san?” Kakeru looked up, shocked.
“The team chose you to lead when I couldn’t, and we’ve all witnessed you grow stronger by each passing day,” Haiji said, his eyes growing softer as he continued looking Kakeru in the eyes. His lips lifted up at the corners. “You’re amazing, Kakeru.”
Kakeru’s eyes widened.
“But the university board only sees you as a star athlete with a potentially damaging background. You’re going to be a second-year too. A second-year captain is almost unheard of.”
Kakeru nodded, his hands clenched into fists under the table.
“Shindou is the only option for them. He’s going to be a fourth-year, and was there with me when we handled that article. He left a very good impression, you know?” Haiji said, sardonically.
“And I didn’t,” Kakeru simply stated, closing his eyes.
“You’re still the star athlete, they’re gonna keep a close eye on you. You’re gonna bring in lots of sponsors, too, so that will soften them up,” Haiji responded, his voice losing its hardened edge. “You’re strong now, Kakeru, and you’ll get stronger and stronger still. Supporting Shindou now will only help you later, when you can finally become captain.”
He nodded, determined, already seeing visions of that future. There was a tug in his heart when he couldn’t see Haiji in it, but then the visions clear up, and Haiji is right here, in front of him, looking at him with such warmth and pride that made that tug turn into a tight grip onto his heart.
Haiji smiled, and Kakeru found smiling back.
“Haiji-san,” he called out.
“Yes, Kakeru?”
“Haiji-san, you seem so focused on me getting stronger, as a runner, and as a captain. All the things that you were.”
Haiji blinked, his gaze turning curious.
“Even if I manage to surpass you, The times you’ve failed, the mistakes you’ve made along the way, they would all help in getting me stronger.”
Haiji continued looking at him, patient as always, waiting for Kakeru to finish his train of thought. Kakeru was reminded of his spring days in Chikuseisou’s kitchen, choosing his words as carefully as he handled the knife Haiji trusted him with, slow and with little rhythm.
Now, the words were flowing out.
“Whether you decide to stay or leave, please never forget that you’re my inspiration,” Kakeru finished with a smile.
Haiji opened his mouth, leaving it open for a moment, then closed it, all while staring at Kakeru with wide eyes.
Kakeru’s smiles stretched out, feeling warmth spread inside him. Haiji has been showing him that face a lot lately.
Haiji finally chuckled, closing his eyes. “King is right, you’ve gotten witty, lately. Now I’m the one who’s speechless.”
“That’s pretty rare for you, Haiji-san,” Kakeru found himself teasing, his smile gaining a hint of mischief.
“Hey, I’m still your senior, you know,” Haiji retorted, laughing as he reached to lightly smack Kakeru’s arm.
Kakeru laughed as well, his eyes crinkling as he took in the sight of Haiji laughing, the warmth inside him spreading even further.
Maybe saying goodbye won’t be the end, Kakeru thought as their laughter dies down. Maybe it will be the beginning to another life, for Haiji, free of his shackles at last.