Work Text:
To Ha Sooyoung, Kim Jiwoo always wore her heart on her sleeve.
One could always guess what was going on through the petite girl’s mind at any given moment. Or at least, Sooyoung could.
Because Sooyoung looked. A lot.
Even without Jiwoo knowing, Sooyoung was always looking, to the point that every tiny bit of emotion reflected on her face was already registered on Sooyoung’s own “Jiwoo database”. She would know when the younger girl was happy, truly happy, because her pupils would gather the light of thousand stars and her lips would draw that magnificent grin that rendered Sooyoung unable not to stare.
Gray clouds would cover those very same eyes if the girl’s mood was down, a complete contrast to the fiery ball of energy she was in her normal days; and with a single glance to assert her mood, Sooyoung would wordlessly drag Jiwoo to the closest ice-cream parlor in a attempt to bright up her spirit that was successful most of the times.
Anger was a feeling that Sooyoung wasn’t used to see on Jiwoo’s features; but she could recognize it as well. Tears would swell in her eyes and run down her cheeks, already rosy with an angry blush, and her teeth would bite her own lower lip; as if she was trying to regain the control of her emotions.
A deep frown was a very clear sign of confusion and when flustered, Jiwoo would duck her head and fiddle her hands, restlessly.
Because Sooyoung looked a lot. And all Sooyoung could see was Jiwoo.
Sunshine Jiwoo almost 24/7; cheery Jiwoo every time she won over Hyejoo or Chaewon at Mario Kart; frustrated Jiwoo whenever she got stuck composing and writing her newest song, something that happened quite a lot recently; focused Jiwoo two seconds later when she tried to keep going only to find her muse for the song long gone, as if she was scared of not knowing the direction of the lyrics; and again her bright self when any of their friends would barge in with some anecdote to tell.
(Jiwoo’s longing gaze towards Sooyoung when Sooyoung wasn’t looking was the only thing the taller girl wasn’t able to see, apparently.)
All Sooyoung could see was Jiwoo, but still, her tongue was tied to her heart, and though it hammered against her ribcage everytime the younger girl was near, the words she would love to say to her and to her only didn’t want to come out. Will she ever be able to tell Jiwoo how much she looked at her? She didn’t know, but for now she was happy to just observe and be next to her in every step she took.
Sooyoung knew how much Jiwoo struggled every time her work got into a bumpy road, and she also knew the remedy to fight the despair and frustration that always invaded her friend’s mind when it happened.
At times like this, cuddling on the couch of Sooyoung’s apartment, with an extra large bag of snacks on their laps and Jiwoo’s favourite movie playing on the tv, excitement and a sheer glow of happiness would illuminate Jiwoo’s features.
But not this time.
Sooyoung couldn’t recognize the exact emotion that lingered on Jiwoo’s brown irises, now blown in the darkness of the living room. So she studied them, she studied Jiwoo’s eyes; eyes that were fixed on the tv, but without really watching it. Almost out of focus, as if a myriad of thoughts and emotions were going at full speed through her brain and covered her real feelings under the fog of uncertainty. Sooyoung’s brow furrowed.
As on cue, Jiwoo diverted her attention to the older girl, catching her gaze on her face. And because Sooyoung looks a lot, she saw how the already big eyes of the younger girl widened slightly, but she was still unable to read what they said.
Sooyoung forced herself to lock her gaze on Jiwoo’s, but her will wasn’t strong enough against the close proximity between the two and her pupils fell to the petite girl’s plump rosy lips, which parted with a breathless gasp.
And before the thought of closing that distance between them could even begin to form in Sooyoung’s mind, Jiwoo was already out of reach, out of the warm embrace of the older girl’s arms, standing up next to the couch, with her fingers playing with themselves and her teeth biting again on her lower lip. Sooyoung let out the air she didn’t notice she was holding until then and, slowly, stood up.
“Jiwoo?” She said, turning on the light of the room as she rose from the couch, worry and a slight confusion in her voice. “Jiwoo, are you okay? Do you need anyth-”
“Sooyoung. Stop, please.” The deafening silence of the formalities dropping against the floor was enough to mute the older girl. Jiwoo’s head was slightly ducked, and her long reddish hair covered her face. All Sooyoung could read was the nervous fidgeting of her hands and the careful and weak tone of her voice. And still, she was just as lost.
“I just want to tell you something. I need to.” Jiwoo’s voice broke the silence again, and Sooyoung’s heart skipped a beat in anticipation of what was to come. Jiwoo’s tone was cautious, as if she chose her words carefully.
“You know you can tell me anything, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung said and Jiwoo’s body visibly flinched and it brought a new confused frown to Sooyoung’s face.
“Sooyoung, I-” Jiwoo lifted her face towards the older girl, locking her gaze with her chocolate irises. And then, all the bravery Jiwoo could muster in those few seconds disappeared after a wave of hesitation that to Sooyoung was clear as the sky in a sunny summer day. Jiwoo exhaled a soft and trembling breath, holding her own hands behind her back. “Please, close your eyes and I’ll tell you.”
Sooyoung blinked once, twice, and without voicing the question that was painted on her face, she did as told, her eyelids covering her dark irises. And though this time she couldn’t see Jiwoo, she still could sense her, in all her nervous glory. Sooyoung pressed her lips slightly and, when slow and long seconds passed by without a sound that wasn’t Jiwoo changing her stance from one feet to another, she parted them to say; “are you okay, Jiwoo?”
“Please…” Jiwoo said in almost a whisper. Sooyoung could hear the hesitation still tainting her voice, so she just waited. “Come one step towards me.” And though the hesitation was still there, her tone was almost filled with despair, as if she lacked the courage to come close herself, but still the need to have her near was too strong to bear.
And a gasp left Sooyoung’s lips because, suddenly, everything was clear and the light of realization hit bullseye on her. The familiar piano melody and the lyrics that she already memorized by heart started playing in her mind, and with them came the frustration that Jiwoo’s face reflected everytime she couldn’t continue with her new song. And it dawned on Sooyoung that the reason was as simple as Jiwoo not knowing how the story it told would end.
Her heart somersaulted in her chest, and she complied to Jiwoo’s words, taking a step closer to her.
Sooyoung heard Jiwoo taking a deep breath and pushing the hesitation away, and her voice, though still shy and soft, was firmer than before. “Look at me, Sooyoung.” She said, and the way she said her name, with adoration, almost reverently, made Sooyoung’s skin to bristle deliciously.
So Sooyoung opened her eyes and her pupils fell on Jiwoo’s sweet brown irises, two dark pupils that were looking right back at her. And Sooyoung finally saw it clearly. Behind the stormy clouds of hesitation and fear, the light of an emotion that Sooyoung could feel pulsing in her own system shone brightly. And suddenly that was all Sooyoung could see.
“I love you.” Those clumsy and precious words were new to Sooyoung and after they graced the air between them, the fog of fear in Jiwoo’s eyes became even darker and denser. Sooyoung had never seen her as vulnerable before, with her heart not only on her sleeve, but served in a silver platter in front of Sooyoung; without knowing that Sooyoung’s own heart had been on her hands for so long that the older girl already lost count of the days.
And then Sooyoung took Jiwoo’s hands and, with her heart thundering in her eardrums, pulled the younger girl closer so she could embrace her; her long arms going around her shoulders while her face searched for a place to hide in Jiwoo’s neck. The petite girl gasped at the contact and, a heartbeat later, she returned the embrace, her hands resting on the small of Sooyoung’s back.
They stood like that for what seemed like hours, just basking in each other’s presence and warmth and in how the beating of their hearts suddenly synchronized. Or maybe they were always playing the same melody and they just realized it.
“Sooyoung…” Jiwoo tried to say, but Sooyoung just shook her head, silencing her down. Sooyoung lifted her head then, her palms going up to rest on Jiwoo’s flushed cheeks and with sheer adoration, she locked her eyes with the younger girl’s earnest gaze; her thumbs drawing soft lines on Jiwoo’s cheekbones.
“I love you so much, Jiwoo, you have no idea.” Jiwoo’s vulnerable eyes widened slightly and a fierce blinking was her only weapon against the happy tears that threatened to take over them. “I have been in love with you for so long, and I wanted to tell you but I am such a coward, Jiwoo…” Sooyoung leaned in, pressing her forehead against Jiwoo’s and closing her eyes, a blissful smile appearing then on her lips.
“Really?” Jiwoo asked with a hint of incredulity in her voice and Sooyoung could only nod again and again.
Until she froze when she felt Jiwoo’s soft and timid lips pressing carefully against her own. Sooyoung’s heart soared then, and a festival of fireworks took place in her chest when her own lips started moving against Jiwoo’s in a tentative first kiss, a salty kiss because of the tears that finally escaped the prison of Jiwoo’s eyes.
A kiss that multiplied and elongated and that had the sweet taste of the promise of a finished song and a neverending story.