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Fidgeting in his seat in Tokyo Dome, Aiba tried to remember the breathing exercises Jun had taught him.
The counts of inhale and exhale had been timed to words of caution from Jun. One sentence was for a long inhalation:
More than half of everyone here won't find a match.
Aiba thought it firmly to himself, breathing in.
I can try again next year if I really--
Interrupted mid-exhale by the stubborn turn of his own thoughts, Aiba frowned. He hadn't thought about it before because Jun was so authoritative in his caring friendship, but these sentences were downers. It seemed wrong to set off to try to find his soul's match, something inherently emotional and exciting, with thoughts of failure in his head.
The call for quiet was beginning already, but Aiba closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
Today I will find the person I will be closer to than anyone else in the whole world.
It was a little long and had Aiba lightheaded with trying to drag out his breathing, but he stuck to it. His exhalation came with some distress, so he kept his second sentence short.
I'll never be lonely again.
He opened his eyes and smiled. He was currently one person in a sea of 50,000, but within an hour he'd be bonded for life to someone. Someone amazing.
It felt like he grew more hopeful with every breath. A small part of himself, easily ignored, was aware that this complete investment in success was exactly what Jun had hoped to prevent.
The polite ringing of the bell for attention and quiet cut off abruptly to be replaced by the screech of a microphone followed by a sharply pleasant voice.
"Honestly, everyone. You made it through months of background checks, interviews, therapy, pointlessly invasive medical tests, and now, right at the finish line, you're going to be disqualified because you can't sit and be quiet when asked?"
There was a small ripple of laughter, sounding slightly embarrassed, but it got quiet as everyone searched the stadium for the speaker.
Aiba found him: a small figure in an ill-fitted suit, all alone on the small stage that'd been set up in the middle of the arena. The stage was isolated by at least fifty feet from the nearest seats, which gave the setup a formal feel.
The speaker had already destroyed any formality with his nagging which, now that a spotlight was on him, he accentuated with a disappointed waggle of one finger. He made sure to sweep it around to include the arena and the stands and all the thousands and thousands of people. Every person in the Dome fell silent.
"Now then," he continued, picking up a sheaf of papers from where they'd been left on the floor. "This part is required, so close your honored mouths and listen up."
Aiba gripped his knees and listened as hard as he possibly could. A cameraperson crept close to the stage and began broadcasting a close-up of the speaker onto the enormous screens around the stadium.
"Distinguished potentials, welcome to the Matching of Heisei 26. I'm your Matching host, Ninomiya Kazunari," the man droned, suddenly as dry as he could possibly be. "You're all here for the same reason, but first there is some, well, basically some fine print. It's all on the internet, so I'll just basically sum up, shall I?"
With that, Ninomiya tossed the papers into the air, then cursed audibly as some fluttered down on his own head.
"So yes," he continued suavely. "You're here to find a match. Thousands of you will, but then again, thousands of you won't. A whole long list of people aren't responsible if you don't get paired up today, all right? And if you are paired up, we basically own you, at least for the first few years. In return, you'll be housed and fed and clothed, plus a modest stipend."
Aiba knew all this already. He was about to vibrate out of his skin with thwarted anticipation. This Ninomiya surely wasn't bonded or he wouldn't be so cruel as to delay it for everyone here, Aiba thought, wrinkling his nose judgmentally. Then his gaze tracked over the papers strewn over the stage. He'd guess there were at least fifty...
After noticing that, he felt a lot more patient with Ninomiya's summing up.
"Training lasts a year, during which time you will find and hone your specialty. That is, if you find a match today, which no one in the world guarantees or is liable for the absence of. There's an orientation later tonight, location specified to bonded partners as they leave. Now, we're going to go around one by one--"
The distress of the audience was swift and audible. Aiba started his breathing exercises again, though he got his sentences all garbled up with Jun's original ones and found himself forgetting to breathe at all in the confusion.
"Ah? Oh, I must have misspoken. We'll go around section by section. You see, when I say go, you're to find your way across this wide Dome of ours to the opposite section. The idea, of course, is that you'll be drawn to your match, should there be one which I do not at all promise, and not make it to your new seat. However, if you do make it, don't give up hope quite yet. After we clear out all the bonded pairs, we will then have a second try at it. After that, you're out of luck until next year."
Ninomiya gave a decisive nod designed to be visible to the farthest audience member.
Then he ran through the sections quickly and efficiently, having each raise their hands and memorize where they were to go. Aiba's heart leaped when his section was called, and he stared across at his complementary section as if his match might be waiting there for him.
When they were done, Ninomiya gave them a short round of applause. "With that out of the way... this is your final chance."
The crowd went hushed and expectant.
"If you are in a relationship, or in love with someone, or whatever, now would be a good time to scoot on out of here, all right? Because..." he trailed off meaningfully.
Aiba knew what he was implying. While people weren't supposed to know, were supposed to think bonding led only to stellar professional partnerships, it was a ludicrously open secret that nearly three-quarters of matches turned into deep romantic relationships.
Ninomiya pretended to come back to himself with a start. "What was I saying? Oh yes: leave now if you know I mean you. If things change, you can, as I've said, come try again next year." Then he shouted dramatically, "Asterisk!"
The crowd tittered uncomfortably.
"Next year, should you return to make a try again, you'll have to go through every single test you passed this time. Additionally, two tries at it doesn't guarantee a match. Nothing guarantees a match! We! Are! Not! Liable!"
He gave the camera a stern look, making it seem like he was glaring at everyone in the place from the many screens. Then he smiled, so swiftly and brightly that it was somehow intimidating.
"Now! As you're making your way to your new seat and/or your new life together, remember to ask before you touch anyone. Feel like the person next to you might be your match? Guess what: you still have to ask before you grab their hand. Everyone, feel free to say no, should you prefer it. Additionally, feel free to say yes. And if you get consent to touch someone and it turns out to be a dud, do try to laugh about it so that it's not hideously awkward."
Ninomiya paused a moment. Then he said, "Close your eyes." His expression was so serious that everyone seemed to obey instinctively. His voice went deeper, slower, and more compelling. "Breathe in, empty your mind. Breathe out, open it up. Breathe in, feel the connection. Hold it, hold it, hold it... breathe out."
Aiba felt the echo of power slam into him, though his body felt nothing. It was his spirit, somehow, that had been opened, prepared, sparked by the latent abilities of fifty thousand people joined together by one hypnotic voice.
When Aiba returned to lucidity, he saw Ninomiya grinning smugly at him from every single screen. Then, like an afterthought, Ninomiya said absently, "Go."
For a moment, no one moved. Then 50,000 people stood as one. Still dazed, Aiba stared across at his destination and wondered if he'd meet his match on the way or when he got there.
He filed after everyone in his row as the seats emptied out to fill the stairs to overflowing. He scanned every face he saw for a flash of recognition, but so far he just felt claustrophobic.
When he got to the stairs, he happened to look off to his left, and that was when he saw him.
The person Aiba spotted was trapped on the stairs on the other side of Aiba's section, far enough away that Aiba couldn't get a very good look at his face. Still, it was enough to tell that he was distressed, and enough to know for sure that Aiba had to help him.
"Excuse me," Aiba said breathlessly, trying to keep his eyes on the figure across the way. Everyone around him froze and turned to stare at him, hope in their eyes. Aiba flushed, self-conscious, and pointed back the way he'd come. "Can I get back to my seat?" he invented, not wanting to rub it in that he'd seen someone he wanted to meet--and it wasn't any of the people looking at him.
The crowd parted just enough that Aiba could get back into the row he'd just escaped, but now it was deserted. He walked quickly, looking up every so often to make sure he hadn't lost the man in the sea of people across the way. As he got closer, he could see that his person was being jostled around by eager potentials, and it seemed he'd been trapped behind two matches who'd already found each other and were disrupting the flow of traffic. Aiba broke into a jog, eyes intent on that small, unhappy face.
He banged his knee twice before he reached the other side of his section and started trying to push his way down the stairs. No one was giving way for him on this side, not when they were all trying to go the same direction, and for a moment Aiba was stumped. Then he smacked his own head and backtracked into the row of seats. He began climbing down over the rows, ignoring the unhappy murmur of people watching him enviously, and finally he found the clump of people stuck behind the newly bonded pair.
"Excuse me," Aiba said again, but this time only the person he'd been seeking looked up.
Their eyes met with a sound (a sound! the most inquisitive part of Aiba's mind clamored) like fireworks.
"May I help you out of there?" Aiba asked gallantly. He held out his hand, which took so long that he was pretty sure he was stuck in some sort of soulmate slow motion.
The person he'd found didn't seem confused at all. He smiled at Aiba, the stress and discomfort dropping away from his sleepy features, and he reached out and took Aiba's hand.
If their eye contact sounded like fireworks, Aiba would later swear their first touch tasted like his mom's gyoza, though his match would swear it was his mama's cream stew.
There was no gap in Aiba's consciousness during this new rush, unlike when Ninomiya had used the power of everyone there to set their own abilities alight. This time he felt everything, smelled and tasted and heard and touched and saw this person he loved, this Ohno Satoshi.
"Aiba-chan," Ohno mumbled, and Aiba towed him carefully out of the crowd and into his arms.
They kept holding hands even as they embraced, both feeling their bond was too new for their skin-to-skin contact to be interrupted even for a moment.
Both feeling--Aiba could sense Ohno's feelings, too. It wasn't quite like feeling them himself, but they were all there, like Aiba was at the beach, toes digging into wet sand, as Ohno's feelings crashed like the waves around his ankles. Each wave of emotion was distinct, then receded into the distant whole.
But Ohno wasn't distant at all, even if Aiba's perception of his soul, his spirit, whatever you called it was both as ever-present and unreachable as the sea. He was in Aiba's embrace, head tucked tight against Aiba's neck. His hair was dark brown and spiky and Aiba loved him more with every breath.
He could feel that Ohno loved him, too.
"Oh-chan," Aiba whispered, feeling dangerously on the verge of tears.
Ohno snuggled closer, blissfully unselfconscious in the first full impact of their bond. "Thanks for finding me, Aiba-chan."
Aiba wanted to steal Ohno out of the Dome altogether, out of the noise and bustle of the increasingly nervous throng.
He felt Ohno's agreement even as Ohno lifted his head and spoke. "Yeah. But how?" He must have thought particularly forcefully of his recent experience, because Aiba felt non-existent bodies press harshly against him from every side but Ohno's.
"I came down over the seats," he said, shivering from Ohno's remembered anxiety. "I bet we can go up the same way, and then we can get out of here."
It took them longer together than Aiba could have done it alone. They both refused--happy in the certainty of mutual agreement--to let go of each other's hand, and Ohno had shorter legs, too.
Aiba loved that Ohno fit against him so perfectly. As they got over another row of seats, laughing together at their slow, awkward progress, Aiba concentrated on his sense memory of Ohno in his arms, trying to project it right into Ohno's head. Ohno's expression stilled in reciprocal concentration, eyes shining, and then Aiba could feel how safe and loved Ohno had felt a minute before, how the sensation of Aiba all around him extended even to now when only their hands were touching.
After several rows of climbing and more than a couple minor mishaps later, they arrived at the top row of seats still resolutely hand in hand. Without climbing to focus on, more of Ohno rippled gently into Aiba.
"You're an artist," Aiba said, just as Ohno said, "You're good with animals."
Aiba wondered what their specialty would be just as Ohno had the strong feeling that they'd figure it out together. Aiba smiled at him. "You're right, Oh-chan. After all, we wouldn't be here if we weren't flexible."
They escaped Tokyo Dome at last and ended up at the nearby park, orientation pamphlet stuffed unexamined into Aiba's jeans pocket.
They strolled with their hands linked and heads bent close together. Ohno was imagining his family members as they walked, trying to make their images as detailed as possible, and Aiba was trying to guess who was who.
When Aiba did the same in return, Ohno laughed and laughed at how many animals he included in his family.
"What's the bird's name?" he asked finally, a little teary-eyed from laughing.
"Guess," Aiba said excitedly and thought the name as loudly as he could.
"Oh," Ohno said, diverted. "You like experiments."
"Oh my gosh, you can tell? I have been thinking up experiments to do with my match for ten years, ever since the first ones were discovered. I have a notebook at home--"
He cut off, discomfited by the idea that his home was now an apartment he'd never even seen.
"I was still living at home," Ohno said softly. Aiba looked at him, taking in his kind eyes, his round cheeks, the soft pout of his mouth.
"You're worth it," Aiba said impulsively, then had a moment of dizzying self-doubt. What if he wasn't worth the uprooting of Ohno's life?
Then the swirling waves surrounded him with the warm reassurance emanating from every cell of Ohno's body. Aiba was immersed in Ohno's affection, his pleasure at finding Aiba, his excitement about living together just the two of them.
Aiba was thinking earnestly, loudly, that he was sorry he was such a crybaby, but Ohno said only, "Besides, it's not like we can't visit. I'll visit my family with you, and then go with you to visit him... what's his name?"
"Matsujun," Aiba said automatically. "He's my--friend." He'd been going to say best friend, but even though how much he loved Jun would never change, bonding with Ohno reordered everything in his life.
He must have felt worried about this, because Ohno offered, "We're not really friends, though."
He was so doting, so constantly there in Aiba's mind, that Aiba didn't even consider taking that the wrong way. "You're right, Oh-chan. How'd you get so smart?"
Ohno chuckled, his fond amusement washing through Aiba like champagne.
When the intensity of it subsided enough for Aiba to think again, he considered Ohno solemnly. With skin-to-skin contact and intense concentration, he could follow the shifting patterns of Ohno's thoughts, though they came across in feelings and not words. There was one in the ever-changing swirl, one that was a deep red and textured like raw silk.
Almost all of Ohno's waves were happy ones right then, swirling feelings of joy and comfort and belonging, so that deep red was easy to track once Aiba had seen it. Just wondering about it had it getting rawer, clearly a worried sort of feeling, and Ohno squeezed Aiba's hand tightly.
"Ah, sorry," Aiba said at once, regretful. "I didn't mean to pry."
"It's okay, Aiba-chan." Ohno leaned into him, and Aiba could tell that this natural warmth was an intrinsic part of him, not just something Aiba brought out.
Ohno smiled, eyes crinkling invitingly. "Do you want to tell me about your experiment ideas?"
Aiba felt like he'd just taken a sucker-punch of feelings on top of more emotion that day than he'd felt all year, so for a second all he could do was breathe. Then he lifted Ohno's hand and pressed a kiss to the back, trying to convey all his excitement and gratitude that he'd been bonded with Ohno.
The raw red feeling spooled out into Aiba, turning a rich pink as it went, and Aiba realized it for what it was.
"You want to kiss me?" he asked, awed. "Oh-chan, that's all right, I swear."
"I didn't want to just assume," Ohno said, a little grumpy at being caught out even as his anxiety drifted into foam.
Aiba laughed. "Hey, if you were paying half as much attention to me as I am to you, you'd know I'm right there with you."
He realized with a shock of excitement that he and Ohno could kiss now, right here in public in broad daylight.
The explosive discovery of bonded matches, the more gradual realization of just what they could do in all sorts of professions, had brought about incidental benefits for many groups of people. Ten years before, Aiba had been struggling with his sexuality, afraid of how people would treat him, but while there were still many people who were prejudiced, society at large was not about to turn its back on anyone with the abilities bonded pairs had. Some of the protections accorded to same-sex matches had trickled out to unbonded people, too, and Aiba felt a retroactive pride at being a part of something that made a difference for so many.
In contrast to Aiba's introspection, Ohno was completely zoning out. All his waves and swirls were shades of lazy, contented blue.
"Hey, I thought we were talking about kissing," Aiba said sternly, trying not to laugh as a wave of interest appeared in Ohno's feelings almost immediately.
"It seemed like you were taking a moment," Ohno said easily, smiling at Aiba. "We've got time."
Aiba closed his eyes and concentrated on the part of his mind that had been thinking about kissing, touching, loving Ohno since the first time he'd seen him across the stadium seats. He felt Ohno's surprise, then laughed as he felt Ohno's smug satisfaction.
All at once it seemed like their mutual interest, concentrated on at the same time, changed something inside them. Suddenly Aiba was deeply aware of Ohno's small, sturdy body and how it was now linked to his.
Unconsciously, he aligned his breathing to Ohno's, feeling the expansion of Ohno's chest as he inhaled, the tingle of his hand in Aiba's, the quick pulse of blood in his veins. He could tell Ohno was hungry; a little chilly, too. He could tell Ohno wanted him, wanted him more with every second that passed.
Aiba breathed out unevenly, "What was that you said, not being a rush?"
Ohno shrugged slowly, eyes dark and intent on Aiba's mouth. "I think... they gave us a break before orientation for a reason."
"So smart, Oh-chan," Aiba said, lips tugging into a smile, but his amusement was a brief gleam on the surface of his deep pull toward his soul's match.
They got closer and closer, breathing shuddering in time to the chaos of their twined senses, and then they were kissing.
Their surroundings dropped away. The path they stood on was changed to crashing waves as they found each other, discovering that their link before had been only the beginning. Now their consciousnesses were mixing together, their touching not something they did to each other, but something they did, not knowing who'd thought of it first. Every flicker of fingers on Aiba's neck, every touch of Ohno's curious tongue was echoed in the parting of lips, the urgent press of Aiba's body.
Aiba-chan, sighed the part of them that was more Ohno.
OH, mostly Aiba exclaimed, and then they separated with a nearly audible jolt, made distinct again by Aiba's excitement at this new discovery.
"So we can communicate in words after all!" he said, eyes moving with distracted hunger over Ohno's beloved form. "Do you think we have to be kissing to do it? No wonder bonded pairs are so secretive about how it works..."
Ohno chuckled softly, instinctively nuzzling into Aiba's jaw. He murmured, "I've been to bonded doctors. I don't think they kissed while they stitched me up that time."
"But maybe for actual words," Aiba argued, kind of hoping he had an excuse to kiss Ohno all the time.
"You don't need an excuse," Ohno said, giving Aiba's chin a gentle smooch. "Though it'd be kinda funny if we turned out to be bonded cops and were just kissing all the time."
Aiba stared at him, processing that image, and Ohno started laughing at his own joke. Unable to help grinning, Aiba said nevertheless, "I'm not going to be in the police! I want to do something with animals or kids or sick people or elderly people or people with addictions or people with mental problems--"
"Kids," Ohno said with certainty. Then he amended, "Maybe sick kids."
"You are so smart. I think you're our leader, you know."
Ohno blinked, sending a small wave of alarm to tickle Aiba's toes. Aiba could still sense Ohno's distant, deep desire, too, and he tried not to think about it too much and distract the both of them during this life-altering moment. He still held Ohno's hand and couldn't imagine ever letting go.
Finally Ohno got it together enough to say, "That's risky."
Then he swept away the suggestion by looking up at Aiba with so much tenderness in his eyes that Aiba nearly dissolved into it. Ohno reached up to cup Aiba's cheek with his free hand, sending him a very basic question.
"Yes," Aiba said immediately, then Kiss me. He didn't get a chance to ask if Ohno heard him, because then they were kissing again, and the park was gone, and the world was gone, and all that existed was the two of them.
I'm happy.
Me too.
I knew I'd find you today.