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The light was abrupt and much too bright. It penetrated his closed lids.
“No, quiet,” Kent soothed. “Stay still, love.” Kent’s hands were strong yet gentle on Chandler’s shoulder. Chandler squinted up at him through a halo of light. “Don’t move.”
“What’s wrong?” Chandler asked, his voice hoarse. He suddenly realized how much his throat hurt.
“You were having a nightmare.” Kent answered but his voice was odd. It sounded thin and strained.
“Why do you sound so worried?”
“Your fever has gotten worse since this afternoon.” Kent said shaking down a thermometer he had placed on the night stand before they had gone to sleep. “Can you hold his under your tongue for me?” Chandler nodded and opened his mouth.
“It’s too bright. Turn off the light?” Chandler mumbled around the thermometer because even with his eye lids screwed tightly shut, the light made his head ache.
“In a moment,” Kent said. “I just need to be able to read the temperature.” He covered Chandler’s eyes with his blessedly cool hands. “Now be still, you’ll spoil the reading.”
Chandler drifted in and out of consciousness, Kent’s cool hands temporary relieving his feverous skin.
“All right,” Kent said after a couple of minutes, he took the thermometer from him, then breathed out a sigh, “Shit.”
“What?” Chandler said a bit worried by Kent’s reaction.
“It’s just a fever.” Kent felt Chandler’s forehead with the back of his hand and sighed again. “A very high fever and we’re out of paracetamol. I should have grabbed some on the way home from work.”
“Stay. Don't go,” Chandler whispered in a voice nearing panic. He blinked up at Kent.
“I won't leave you," Kent comforted, "especially not in this state." Kent chewed the inside of his lip. Chandler's highly agitated state was causing Kent great alarm, "I’ll call Miles, have him drop some off.”
Chandler was too exhausted with fever to argue. He let his eyes slip shut again and he kept them shut. Everything hurt and he just wanted to sleep.
Chandler didn’t notice the sound of the doorbell or Miles as he appeared at the open bedroom door with Kent.
“So the Boss has got flu?” Miles inquired stepping into the room.
“Pretty bad, his temperature is at 105 degrees.” Kent tried to keep his voice even. “Should I take him to A & E?”
Miles leaned down and examined Chandler’s sleeping form more closely. “No, let’s avoid that if we can. It’s probably just a fever spike. No reason to think it won't come down with medication.” Miles said. “Bet he wished he had gotten the vacation when the rest of us did, huh?"
“Him and me both. Are you sure about A & E?” Kent said as he watched Chandler's chest rise and fall.
“When you’ve had three children, you know how to read the signs; when things are serious and when they aren’t. Besides you’d probably end up just sitting in a waiting room till dawn.”
“He's been having nightmares.”
“Well, with a fever that high it’s not unheard of.”
Kent pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think it was about his father or maybe Morgan? He kept mumbling 'don't go' and 'come back' over and over."
“My heart goes out to him, both were bloody tragedies. ” Miles nodded in sympathy.
"I wish there was something you could take for bad memories." Kent sighed.
"Yeah, me too." Miles frowned.
Kent lowered his hand. “Thanks for bringing the paracetamol. And could you . . . Could you not mention. . .” Kent stuttered inarticulately. He motioned between Chandler and himself.
Miles cuffed him on the back, “I won’t say a thing.”
Kent smiled in relief. “We want the team to know, we do, just in our own time and on our own terms.”
"You mean Chandler does," Miles blurted out. Kent's eyes snapped to Miles', who at least had the good grace to look abashed. Kent could feel his ears turning red.
"I do apologize. Not any of my business." Miles cleared his throat awkwardly before he spoke again. “I have to get back to the wife and kids. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” He turned to go but stopped. He turned back around to face Kent, “The rest of them wouldn’t turn their back on you two. You know that right? We’re family.”
“I know,” Kent blushed a little.
“Good lad.”
**************
Despite Mile’s reassurances Kent felt terrified by Chandler’s continued fever dreams that produced mumbled pleas and whimpers; and be the heat that still rolled off him.
Chandler moaned and shivered in his sleep.
“It’ll be okay,” Kent soothed. He kissed Chandler’s temple.
Kent pushed a couple of ice packs under Chandler’s arms in an attempt to lower the fever. Miles had suggested it via a text message. Chandler did not appreciate the cold packs pressed up against his skin. He moaned miserably. He made a weak move to bat Kent’s hand away.
“I’m sorry, love.” Kent pushed the second pack into place. “We have to get that fever down.”
“I’m freezing.” Chandler’s teeth chattered.
“I know it feels cold but you’re burning up.”
“How can that be when I’m freezing?” Chandler insisted miserably.
Kent yawned. It was nearing three a.m. and he had been up since for a grueling twenty-nine hours. He was simply too tired to try to reason with or comfort Chandler at this point. He draped himself over Chandler effectively pinning him to the bed with his own body weight.
Chandler let out a relenting whimper and went limp, still shivering. Kent pressed his face into the hot hollow between his neck and shoulder and fell into a deep sleep. ***************************
Kent awoke sometime later. Chandler appeared to be asleep.
As quietly as he could, Kent switched on the bedside lamp, so he might fish out the ice packs before they melted completely and hopefully take Chandler’s temperature again.
Unfortunately, Chandler wasn’t very deeply asleep. “Emerson---“
“It’s okay.” Kent whispered. Chandler’s skin was still alarmingly warm, though a bit less now. “How are you feeling? Do you think you could drink some water?”
“I’m okay.” Chandler whispered back.
“Let me take your temperature again.” Kent said. Chandler easily complied. “103.9. That’s a bit better.” He brushed Chandler’s hair away from his sweat dampened forehead.
“Will you open a window? I’m a bit overheated.”
“It’s December.” Kent told him. “You’ll catch a death of cold, if I do. Miles would be pretty upset, the team too. I’d never hear the end of it.” He joked as he continued to sooth his hair.
“That feels nice.” Chandler said before he fell silent.
“Maybe I should call Miles again?” Kent pondered. Chandler was flushed, sweat drenched, and clearly exhausted. The fever should be lower then this by now, right?
“No, don’t. It’s early.” Chandler frowned, his eyes glittering with fever.
“Being this hot can’t be good for you.” Kent argued irritably.
“If my temperature is still this high in an hour, then you can call Miles.”
“Half an hour.” Kent argued.
“Forty-five minutes.”
“Fine.” Kent relented as he laid his head back down on Chandler’s chest. **********************
Kent blinked his eyes open at 9:15. He was facing the window where dull gray light was pouring in. He twisted in the bed to look at Chandler.
Chandler was sitting up, his back propped up against stacked pillows, and his phone in hand.
“Hi.” Chandler whispered. His voice still rough and hoarse. “I was just sending Miles a text that we aren’t going into work today. He said he’d come up with our excuses. Hope that’s okay?”
“Absolutely, I’m gutted.” Kent pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Feeling better?”
Chandler nodded. “A bit.”
Kent reached up and felt Chandler’s forehead. “Still warm. Lay back down. More sleep, I think.”
Chandler did as Kent ordered. “Sorry about last night. I know how worried you get."
“Not your fault,” Kent kissed Chandler’s flushed cheek. “Can I ask you something?” Kent asked seriously.
“Course.” Chandler said, a little worry creeping into his voice.
“Will you go to the annual police gala with me?”
Chandler raised his eyebrows. “Like together, together?”
Kent nodded.
Chandler rolled onto his side, so he could look at Kent full in the face. "I don't know. Are you asking because of what Miles said or because you honestly want to?” Chandler played with a lose thread hanging off Kent's old blue sheets.
“You heard that?”
"Yeah."
Kent shook his head. "Forget Miles. I'm asking because I want to."
“But why? We’ve been seeing each other for two months, you haven't said anything before. So why now?"
Kent laid his head down on the pillow so he could gaze directly into Chandler’s eyes. "Because I want to." Kent repeated, in earnest.
“I want you to know, the reason I've hesitated coming out with you . . ." Chandler chewed his bottom lip, evidently searching for the right words, "I’m not ashamed of you . . . of us. I don't care what people might think. And I don’t consider this to be some kind of office fling. I'm not expecting you to put for a transfer if things go south. I want to be with you for the long term and I hope you want to be with me. . ."
“I do.” Kent nodded. "I feel the same. So, why won't you say yes?"
"Because it would mean I care about you. Obviously I do, but what I mean is---its all out there in the open, for God and everyone to see. There is no going back."
Kent raised his eyebrows. "Well, yeah. That's kind of the point, isn't it?" He was completely confused by Chandler's logic. His boyfriend wasn't making sense. Maybe the fever was affecting Chandler usually brilliant mental process?
Chandler swallowed thickly before he whispered, “I had such terrible dreams last night. I dreamt I lost you. You were just gone and no matter how hard I searched I couldn’t find you and I thought I'd die of grief.” Chandler paused, struggling to find the words. “Everyone I have ever cared about leaves. My Father, my mother, Morgan. I couldn't bear it if you left too." Chandler said in a voice choked with agony. Tears were gushing down his cheeks. He covered his face with his hands. "I'm sorry. Sorry. I know its stupid. Illogical. I think this damn fever has got me over emotional. I can't think straight."
Kent was desperate to comfort his lover. He wrapped his arms around Chandler chest. Pressing kisses against Chandler's hands that were still hiding his face. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
"You can't promise that." Chandler sobbed. He tried and failed to reign in his emotions.
"No, no I can't. I don't know what the future holds, no one does. But I'm here now and I promise I will fight Heaven and Hell to keep it that way because I love you. I LOVE you Joseph Chandler. Do you hear me? I love you!"
Chandler's breath hitched mid-sob. He removed his hands from his face and stared at Kent with eyes puffy and red-rimmed from crying. His expression one of absolute awe. He didn't say a word.
The silence stretched out until it became unbearable. Kent broke out in a nervous sweat. His heart hammering against his ribs painfully. He wished Chandler would speak, but at the same time he dreaded what he might say.
"Joe?" Kent whispered, not meeting Chandler's gaze.
"I-I love you too." Chandler whispered, his mouth quirked upward. "I love you." He repeated.
Kent didn't hesitates as he lifted himself up and began to kiss Chandler. Once, twice, three times. The kisses started off soft and chaste but soon became deep and passionate. They were kissing like their lives depend upon it. They kisses until they had no one air left in their lungs. They parted. Their chests heaving still wrapped in each others arms.
"If you don't want to come out as a couple yet, we don't have to. I can wait. I'm happy just to be with you." Kent said against his neck, after he had managed to catch his breath.
"Ask me again." Chandler said.
"Will you go with me?" Kent asked. He kissed Chandler softly on the lips again.
"Yes." Chandler answered, kissing Kent back.
Kent beamed.
Chandler smiled back, then he yawned involuntary.
"Back to sleep love, you still have a fever."
“Stay with me.” Chandler murmured as the loll of sleep tugged at him. His eyes were drifting shut. Kent wrapped his arms across his body.
"Always."