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Maya sighed heavily and grabbed her phone off her nightstand. It was almost one in the morning, but for some reason, she just couldn’t get back to sleep after she got up to get some water. Not really knowing what else to do with herself, she unlocked her phone. All of her friends would be asleep right now and she didn’t feel like getting back out of bed again to go get her earbuds from her desk to watch videos, so she found herself opening up the only blogging app she used. She didn’t really use her blog that much—and when she did, it was usually for stuff like equipment reviews and such—but she followed few blogs that she liked to read when she had time. And one of them was Kaoru’s.
Until recently, she hadn’t even known that Kaoru had a blog. Kaoru got tons of attention offline, so she hadn’t really considered that she would have an online presence, too. She was curious when she heard her talking about a message she got in her blog; what kind of blog would Kaoru even have? She asked, and in true Kaoru fashion, she was all too happy to explain—in an overly dramatic sort of way.
Her blog’s name was Fleeting Heaven, and while she used it for quite a few different things, most of it was for “aesthetic” photos and messages from her fans. They’d send her all kinds of questions about her, her interests, her band… and sometimes they’d ask her for advice, most often about their love lives. If a girl had a crush and no idea how to deal with it, she could send Kaoru an anonymous message asking for her opinion. And every single time, Kaoru had a—rather lengthy—answer for her. Maya thought to herself that it was almost silly that Kaoru was basically running an online advice column, but at the same time, it was really… well, it was admirable. Even though these girls were hidden by online anonymity and Kaoru would probably never meet them, it hurt her to hear about a girl’s suffering and she always did her best to help. That was one of the things Maya liked about Kaoru: No matter who it was, if Kaoru could help cheer a girl up, she would.
As far as Maya knew, nobody had any idea that she had a huge crush on Kaoru. She was good at hiding that kind of thing; it was insanely embarrassing for her to even think about, so she definitely wasn’t going to tell anyone. She wasn’t really the type of girl who did… crushes, or anything. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the idea of romance, not really, it was just that it seemed like something she didn’t really need to get involved in, not at this point in her life. She wanted to focus on bettering herself before she focused on romance. But there she was, hiding the crush she had on Kaoru; honestly, though, was it worth worrying about? Everyone had a crush on Kaoru. How could they not?
She opened Kaoru’s blog. It had been a few days since she looked at it, so she figured she might as well scroll through it while she was trying to go back to sleep. The newest post was a question and answer about Kaoru’s favorite desserts, posted… two minutes ago. What? Kaoru had a tag for her scheduled posts, but that post didn’t have it listed—was Kaoru seriously awake and answering questions on her blog right then? Maya refreshed the page. Sure enough, a new answer to another question popped up, this time about Kaoru’s favorite time of year.
The next thing Maya knew, she was staring at the ask page, debating whether or not she should do this. It was dumb. It was so dumb, but she still tapped the anonymous button and typed out a message.
Hi, Kaoru. I wanted to ask you about this. So… there’s this girl and I have a big crush on her, but she’s really popular and I’m… not. I always make it a point to tell my friends that I’m not interested in romance right now, too, so I don’t know what I should do. What do you think?
She almost deleted the message. Her finger hovered over the backspace button for a long moment, then suddenly darted over to the send button and tapped it. The notification that her question had been sent popped up and a sick, anxious feeling erupted inside of her. She navigated back to the homepage of the blog and refreshed the page every few seconds to see if an answer came up.
With each passing second, her anxiety levels rose. Did she actually hit the anon button or did she imagine that? What if Kaoru somehow knew it was her who sent that message? Her heart was pounding in her chest, and her pulse spiked even higher when she saw that an answer was posted.
Ah, poor kitten. Love can be tough when you’re just starting out. If you really like her, silly things like popularity should never separate you. Even if your friends know you as someone serious who doesn’t involve herself with love, they’ll surely support you if you tell them how special she is to you. As long as your feelings are true, I’m sure everything will work out for you. Stay true to your heart, kitten, and if you feel strongly for her, you ought to tell her. I’ll be here to support you if you need it.
Maya could feel her face heating up, though her heartbeat slowed. She knew she was all red and blushing, she knew it, but she couldn’t do anything about it. She went back to the ask page and typed out another message.
Alright. I’ll try my best. Thank you.
And the response came quickly.
Of course. Good luck, kitten!
She took a deep breath and put her phone back down on the nightstand. She needed to think about this, and she definitely needed to go back to sleep. And maybe she would tell Kaoru how she felt… eventually.