Work Text:
“Hello.” Jim flashed his dazzling diplomatic smile at the alien entourage, “I’m Captain James T. Kirk, thank you for agreeing to meet with us.” The aliens known as the Nirevs hovered in place, their drifting white membranes pulsing slightly as they communicated with each other on a level the diplomatic party couldn’t comprehend. Jim and Spock exchanged quick glances, but Jim’s smile never faltered.
“If I may ask.” Spock said calmly, “Are you capable of communicating with us verbally?” The Nirevs made a gesture that honestly could’ve meant anything, and Jim let his smile falter just a little.
“Is there a way you can?” he asked, “If so, you have my full permission to do so, so long as it causes us no harm.” The Nirevs pulsed again, and then there was a sound almost like a whisper, and Doctor McCoy gave a soft exhale and fell to his knees. The security officers shouted and Jim’s eyes went wide, just barely restraining himself from reacting.
“B-Doctor?” he asked, his voice admirably calm despite the fear churning his gut, “Are you alright?” McCoy waved security away and stood, seeming to take a moment to orient himself. Spock watched him intently, his gaze flickering between McCoy and the Nirevs as if working something out.
“Sorry.” McCoy’s voice was different, lighter somehow, and with an unfamiliar accent, “We just need to borrow this really quick. We do hope you don’t mind. We were unaware your people communicated externally.” McCoy smiled gracefully, and when his eyes opened, there was a milky membrane over the brown irises.
“...McCoy?” Jim asked through the slight dread weighing heavy in his gut, “Bones, what’s wrong?”
“Bones?” he blinked, and then laughed. It was a delicate little laugh, more suited to a wealthy heiress than his cantankerous friend, “Oh, what an unusual name. Not given, though, right?”
“Who are you?” Jim asked through gritted teeth, his gaze darting to the silent aliens, “What did you to to Doctor McCoy?”
“Do?” the creature using McCoy as a puppet blinked innocently, “We didn’t do anything to your friend. We simply put him to sleep while we borrowed his form in order to communicate with you.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Well, you did give us permission.” they said, “Is that permission still granted?”
“N-“ Jim started, but Spock cut him off.
“The permission stands.” he said tersely, “So long as you can guarantee that Doctor McCoy will be neither harmed nor traumatized by this event.”
“He will be fine.” they said, their expression relaxed as they gave a reassuring smile that looked so strange on McCoy’s face, “He won’t even remember it.”
“...Fine.” Jim said shortly, every part of him screaming to make them let his friend go, “But I want him back the second you don’t need him anymore.”
“You seem upset, Captain.” they said, “We apologize for any distress this necessity has caused you.”
“Please. Let’s just get this going.” Jim said, and the aliens using McCoy gave him a brilliant smile and agreed. Negotiations went ahead, though noticeably more tense. Spock’s face was smooth, utterly devoid of emotion to anyone who didn’t look to see the storm in his dark eyes. Jim, ever the diplomat, managed to appear as though he wasn’t strung tight as a wire the entire time. It was a tense situation, even Spock was clipped and stiff. It didn’t help that security had their phasers trained on McCoy the entire time. Just in case.
“We thank you for your cooperation and your patience.” the Nirevs said as the negotiations came to a close, clapping McCoy’s hands together with a comely smile, “You’ve certainly given us much to think about. Will your Bones be returning for the next meeting?”
“No.” Jim said immediately, “Er, that is... unfortunately my crew and I only handle the first contact. Your next negotiations will be with the Admiralty board.”
“Oh. How unfortunate. We like him.” they sighed, and both Jim and Spock tensed, ready to leap into action should the Nirevs to try to take him. Instead, the creatures gave them a beatific smile and stepped forward until they were standing between Jim and Spock, “He’ll fall when we leave him. It would be prudent to catch him.” Before they could react, the membrane across his eyes faded and his knees gave out. Jim and Spock caught him and lowered him to the ground, Jim’s hands brushing his hair out of his face as Spock checked his pulse.
“Is he-“
“Fine, Captain.” Spock said as the Nirevs pulsed once more before retreating to their ship, “He is simply sleeping.” Jim relaxed as security called for a beam up, letting his head drop as he laughed weakly.
“God, maybe he’s right.” he said, “No more diplomatic missions for him.”
“I am inclined to agree.” Spock said evenly, his eyes never leaving McCoy, “Perhaps he is safer on the ship.”
“He’s gonna be so pissed when he wakes up.” Jim said as the bright particles surrounded them, “Grab your ear plugs.”
“Yes, Captain.” Spock nodded as they dematerialized.
——
“You didn’t even ask if I was okay with it!”
“Bones, I know, it was horrible, but-“
“Not even a ‘Hey, let Bones go real quick so he can consent to this madness’!”
“Bones, please-“
“Spock I can understand, he doesn’t give a damn about me, but you!?” McCoy snapped, his eyes shining with anger and hurt. He paced in front of Jim and Spock, who both stood nervously before him.
“Your assumption that I made that decision lightly is unfounded.” Spock said, his voice clipped, “I did so only with their assurance that you would be unharmed.”
“And what if they’d lied?” McCoy demanded, “Or what if they hadn’t know some side effect because they’ve never met a damned human before? What if my mind had been fucked up?”
“But it wasn’t.” Jim said, his eyes pleading, “Bones, please, we didn’t want to, you know I wouldn’t willingly put you through that.”
“The Captain wanted them to release you. It was I that consented to their continued use of your body.” Spock said, “The blame is mine and mine alone.”
“I just can’t believe you’d let me be fucking hijacked like that. I know you don’t give two shits about me, but I would’ve th-“
“Doctor.” Spock cut him off, his eyes dark with some unidentifiable emotion, “You are wrong.”
“Excuse me?” he scowled.
“Had any ill effects come of their possession of you,” he continued, “there is no doubt in my mind that not even Starfleet could have saved the Nirevs from our retribution.” McCoy blinked, and Jim gave him a small smile.
“Bones.” he said softly, “If they had hurt you, I would have killed them myself. I would have rained fire down on their asses, and Spock would have helped. But they didn’t. You’re safe. And you’re never gonna have to go on a diplomatic mission again.” McCoy gave a grumpy harrumph, but he’d relaxed slightly.
“You two have a lot of making up to do.” he said, “I’m serious. I’m still angry, beyond angry.” Jim and Spock nodded, and Jim reached out to squeeze his hand, smiling slightly when McCoy squeezed back.
“We promise we’ll make this up to you.” Jim said softly, “We promise, Bones.”
“Nothing of this nature will ever happen to you again.” Spock nodded, “We will ensure it.”
“You better.” McCoy scowled, “I don’t need any more alien bullshit in my life.”
“Aw, even Spock’s?” Jim teased.
“Especially Spock’s!”
“You are hurting my feelings.” Spock said dryly, and McCoy smacked his arm.
“See if you two are still joking after the rigorous physicals I’ve scheduled you both.” McCoy smirked, and Jim’s face fell.
“No!” he exclaimed, and Spock cleared his throat.
“Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend due to a-“
“Oh don’t worry, Spock.” McCoy’s expression was downright frightening, “I’ve taken the liberty of clearing both your schedules for the next few days.” Jim swallowed audibly and Spock gave a defeated sigh.
“We deserve this.” Spock lamented, and Jim whined.
“That you do.” McCoy nodded, “Now follow me. Time for your shingles vaccine.”
“Mercy.” Jim squeaked, and McCoy smirked.
“No.”