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“Hux? Hux! Where are you?”
“Over here, Ren. No need for the hysterics.”
“Hux!”
Swept into a bone crushing hug, Hux grunted, the only noise a body can make when the air is squeezed from the lungs. When Ren didn’t release him, lack of oxygen started to become an issue.
“Air!” Hux wheezed and Ren released him instantly.
“Are you hurt? Did I make it worse?”
“I am fine, Ren, but thank you for your concern. Millicent and I made out admirably.”
“When I heard the locals were resistance sympathizers and they'd attacked the base I came right away. But where is everyone?”
There were a few stormtrooper bodies scattered throughout the base but no sign of the rebels anywhere. Hux seemed to be completely alone, except for the orange cat that twined around their ankles, purring contentedly.
“I’ve always told you I have surprising resources, Ren. Come on. The base is a wash. Let’s return to the ship.”
Three days later, dozing next to Hux in his quarters, Ren heard a horrific noise.
“Hux?” he prodded Hux’s sleeping form. “I think there’s something wrong with your cat.”
Hux stirred and his eyes fluttered open. “Oh, she’s just having a hairball. She’ll be fine. Go back to sleep.” He drifted off again, but Ren couldn’t follow, not with the disgusting sounds that filled the room. Rolling over, he propped himself up on one elbow and watched in horror as Millicent hacked and wheezed, her sides heaving with exertion.
The noises stopped and he thought it was over, but then she gave one more giant heave and disgorged a helmet.
“What the fuck?”
Sliding out of bed, he knelt on the floor, examining the regurgitated helmet. It was covered in clear slime so he was reluctant to touch it, but he didn’t need to pick it up to recognize the construction. The rebellion symbol on the side told him its origin.
“What are you?” he asked the not-cat sitting in front of him. Millicent ignored him, licking a paw and then dragging it over her head.
“Leave my cat alone and come back to bed, Ren,” Hux said, sounding petulant.
“That’s not a cat, Hux.”
“I know, but if I say she’s a flerken, everyone overreacts.”
“A flerken?” Ren scuttled back across the floor until his back hit the bed.
“See? What did I tell you?”
“But Hux, a flerken is ….”
“I know what a flerken is, Ren. Now either come back to bed or get out. I have to be on the command deck in four hours.”
Ren rose carefully, not taking his eyes off the dangerous alien life form that Hux kept as a pet. Making no sudden moves, he slid under the covers. Hux immediately tucked into him, wrapping around him like … like tentacles escaping from a mouth. That image chased any chance of sleep away, and it got even worse when Millicent hopped up onto the bed and walked up onto Ren’s chest. She gave a contented merp and curled up into a ball, tail tucked over her nose.
“Hux ….” Ren whined, panic barely contained.
“Shush,” Hux admonished. “Sleep.”
Ren was still wide awake, staring at the lethal life form, when Hux’s alarm went off.
As Hux went through his morning routine, Ren continued to lay flat as a board, not daring to move. He let out a huge sigh of relief when Millicent, roused by the sound of food hitting her bowl, rose, stretched, and jumped off the bed, trotting over to Hux with her tail waving.
The Resistance helmet still sat in the middle of the floor, lying in a pile of crusted slime. Ren gave it a wide berth on his way to the refresher.
When he emerged, he scowled at Hux.
“If your flerken ever eats my grandfather’s helmet, we’re through.”
“That’s fair, Ren. Now get dressed. Unless you want to stay here alone with Millicent while I’m on duty.”
Ren had never gotten dressed as fast in his life before that moment.
When the door to Hux’s quarters closed behind them, he started to relax.
“What are your plans for the day, Ren?” Hux asked.
Anything and everything that will keep my mind off your pet, Ren thought, but didn’t say.
Starting tonight, he decided, they’d spend their nights in his quarters, he decided. He’d let Hux know later, though.
“So how did you acquire a flerken, Hux?” Ren asked as the lift doors dinged.
“That’s classified, Ren.”
“Classified? I’m the Supreme Leader?”
“Classified.”