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“Good morning. Didn’t think you’d be up this early.” Sanji greets, beating him to the punch.
“Morning. Yeah, well, my head hurt way too much to keep sleeping.” The younger man looks down and away briefly. “I’m sorry about last night, whatever happened. I barely remember anything so...thank you for putting up with me.”
The cook shakes his head, mainly it because it was no problem. No need for apologies and gratitude, it’s something he felt that he ought to do. “Could we talk about that later?”
Usopp’s face dropped in the utmost worry. “Oh, shit, what did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything. Things were just…” He took a breath in, looking for the right word. “Said. I want to know where we stand.”
“Okay.” Is said nervously.
After Sanji was able to buy some freetime, he almost thought his lover had run away. He couldn’t find him around the campsite, circling the entire area and checking tents before he asked anyone. Robin mentioned that the coward was by the creek that was south of the gang and down a hill. How she knew that was probably her perceptiveness (besides her powers), catching Usopp slip away from the group out of the corner of her eye.
She was right. The sniper had his back up against a tree trunk, sketching something in his usual travel sketchbook. His face looked more relaxed than it had been in weeks, even the crease between his eyebrows smoothed out. His pencil mechanically twitched and scraped across the blank page but the sound of rushing water made the action a quieter one.
Sanji had quietly sat next to him, admiring the hairy beast being drawn. There was always something that his lover found fascinating when it came to monsters. Even though the guy would be shaking in his boots at them, there was always this admiration for what the creature was. Down to the teeth and slobber accompanied by the eardrum shattering roars, it was still beautiful to him somehow. So, often, they would be immortalized in charcoal grey or black ink.
The cook put an arm around Usopp, his hand giving his shoulder a squeeze. “It looks awesome.”
Thick lips curved into a small smile. “Thank you.” Is said quietly as he leaned into the embrace. Then the worried crease returned. “So...what did I say? Trust me, if it wasn’t... wildly inappropriate, it was probably just meaningless shit-talk.”
“While it was a lot of shit-talking,” He says more jokingly, trying to lift some of the mood. “You did say somethings that I think might have truth behind them.” Fuck, did he hate to admit that, but some of the things that were said hit way too close to home. If it was enough to worry him a little, he felt like it was worth talking about. “Alcohol can make you pretty honest.”
The pencil stopped moving. “...I really don’t think so. What I say when I’m wasted doesn’t mean anything.” He looked up at his lover. “We’re fine.” Is said more firmly.
“So you’re not angry with me?” Is dripping with skepticism. “You’re not unhappy in any way?”
“No.” Usopp loses the staring contest, looking back down at his drawing. “Yes.”
“See-”
“But it’s not like that! It’s just me being insecure-”
“You didn’t think I was going to come back! You were grieving me already! I’m sorry, but after getting myself almost kicked out the fucking crew for you in Water Seven, that kinda hurts, Usopp!”
The younger man closed his sketchbook and stood up, beginning to walk back towards the camp. “I don’t want to fight about nothing! I was drunk! Not even I knew what I was talking about!”
Sanji stands, already feeling exasperated. “You just admitted that you were angry with me!”
“Well, how do you think I felt!?” The younger man exclaims, turning around. “You don’t tell me anything! You just leave a fucking note for us to find! Don’t even get me started about how I’ve already been feeling like nothing more than your crewmate but ‘Oh, yeah, you know you’re special, right?’ Sure! Sure I do!” When he gets to being sarcastic, that’s a telltale sign that he is seriously pissed. “She’s beautiful and ended up loving you and knowing how you are with women while we’re together, well,” He threw up his hands. “What chance did I have!?”
It was Sanji’s turn to be speechless, his eyes finding the grass, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. He returned his gaze. “Do you want to break up or what!?”
“That’s the amazing thing!” He nearly gasps. “I don’t! I love you! You’re absolutely amazing! You sometimes make me think bad things can’t happen!”
“Then what do you want!?”
“What do I want!? Really, I-” A sigh, his energy for their conversation leaving with his breath. He turned around again, a hand briefly coming up to his forehead. “Look, it’s obvious that we feel very different things for each other and you were with me because you felt bad for me since you’re just this great guy who gives to everybody, right?”
“I-”
“If you need a ticket out of this, take it now. Unlike you, I value my time and I don’t like it to be wasted. Next time someone has feelings for you and you don’t like them, tell them that first.” He tensed when hands squeezed his shoulders and coaxed him to turn around.
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” Pale hands were gently batted away, Usopp suddenly finding the ground to be more interesting. “You’re too nice for your own good.”
“No, this isn’t what I want. I don’t want to break up either.”
Black brows began knitting themselves together. “Then what do you want, Sanji? And be honest with me.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever been serious about and...I didn’t want to mess it up by treating you the same way I treat women. Unknowingly, I’ve been treating you like you’re just a crewmate I sleep with, which I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry.”
The sniper, surprisingly, snorted as his faced began heating up. “Don’t put it like that. It’s not like we didn’t have good times or really... romantic moments. But, even then there were times that you’d hesitate and I’d get the impression that you were like, ‘Oh yeah, he’s not a woman and I wish he was.’ So...I guess I just want you to treat me like I’m...your... somebody.”
The cook half smiled. “It’s ‘boyfriend’.”
“...Ugh, that word is so embarrassing.”
“Or you could just say ‘person I’m planning on running away with in case things go south.’”
“That’s too wordy. Not even I could spin that and make it believable.” He laughed along silently. “I’m sorry. Things fell apart so suddenly and I didn’t mean to keep things from you or drink so much. I should’ve supported you from the moment you were taken but instead I just felt sorry for myself.”
Sanji didn’t say anything, only closing the gap between them in a very tight hug. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” The younger man admits, holding onto him just as tight.
“I love you.”
Usopp stiffens in surprise, staring wide-eyed at the tree over his crewmate’s shoulder as his sketchbook falls from his hand.