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“So this was the ‘cute Halloween date’ we were supposed to be on, huh?” Sanji drawls, all displeased.
There’s an offended gasp, “I think a better question would be why the hell did you kick him!?” Usopp growls, his hands forming into tight fists. “We wouldn’t be sitting here in the police station if you hadn’t of-”
The older man has the nerve to scoff, “Don’t act all innocent! Weren’t you the one who screamed like a girl-”
Usopp was going to yank his arm up to swat at his boyfriend, but the handcuff binding him to the chair wouldn’t allow the movement. It only angrily tapped against the wooden armrest. “I did not!”
Sanji glared at him and his utter ridiculousness. “Did too! Then you threw a prop at that poor lady!”
“That spider was fucking styrofoam!”
“Well, excuse me ‘cause I had no idea that styrofoam bangs on the ground!”
“Fine! It’s plastic! Either way, she’s perfectly fine! The poor guy you kicked has a concussion!” The younger man roughly exclaims in exasperation. He then huffs, turning away from Sanji. He wants to cross his arms. “Besides, this whole thing wasn’t even my idea.”
Pale hands go up as much as the handcuff would allow. “What’re you talking about!? Halloween is your thing! And it was a minor concussion!”
“Ooh, Usopp~! Let’s go to a haunted house this year~! It’ll be so much fun~! I love it when you cling to me when you’re scared, it’s so cute~! I bought the tickets, let’s go~!” The voice for this is high and wiry, even though-
“I don’t sound like that at all!”
“You’d be surprised!” He huffs again before mumbling, “If only you could hear your nonsense…”
Sanji leaned forward slightly to look around for any cops, only to see one with his back turned to them, talking to another a little ways from them. “You think I could get away with having a cigarette?” He whispers. “I could pull one out, I just need you to reach my lighter.”
Usopp pointed to the bulletin board by the door. “Do you not see the ‘no smoking’ sign!?” He hisses, not being able to believe that the blond wants to be in even more trouble.
A swirly eyebrow cocks up in realization. “I did not.”
The two sit in silence for a while, taking in the sound of a phone ringing in the background, some mumbled conversations, paper being shuffled, and metal doors screeching open then slamming closed. There’s the clopping of heels from afar, the cops talking several feet from them shifting and making the keys on their belts jingle. Surprisingly, they weren’t terribly busy at eleven o’clock at night on Halloween.
Usopp frowns when he feels his trapped hand being collected into another one. “I’m mad at you.” He grumbles, but doesn’t pull away (not that he could).
“I know.” His boyfriend breathes, sounding solemn.
Suddenly, thick lips quirk into an amused grin before giggling lets loose, which quickly graduated to raucous snickering and wheezing. Sanji almost thought he was in deeper shit than he was already, but the hand squeezing his so tightly made him think otherwise. Usopp is keeling over, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth after banging on the armrest.
“We’re so stupid!” He gasps before starting up all over again. “We can’t even go to a haunted house like a normal couple!” He fades back into wheezing again. “Look at us! In a police station! We’ve met none of our own expectations!”
“You’re not mad?” The blonde chuckles slightly.
“Not anymore! This shit is too funny!” His laughing became more high pitched. “We were supposed to hug or whatever, but we just ended up fighting the actors!”
This got Sanji to start laughing too, it quickly becoming as goofy and amused as his boyfriend’s. He squeezes his hand back. “I’ll be really careful about scaring you-”
“What!?” Is nearly screeched. “You’re the one with reflexes like a fucking horse!”
The older man throws his head back at that, stomach hurting at this point. Usopp is now wiping away tears, trying to control his breathing so he could calm down. After a while, they both are able to say more than one sentence. It’s enough to get the two policemen to stop making confused glances at them.
The door swings open, revealing the cop who arrested them marching over. She didn’t look terribly pleased which made the whole situation one-hundred percent not funny anymore.
“I’m calling it right now,” Usopp whispers, heart pounding in his ears. “We are so banned.”
“You men must be the luckiest.” The officer says as she pulls out a key and unlocks the handcuffs. “There are no charges being pressed against you. The actors said you apologized profusely and that you’re not the first ones to react that way.” She says with a shrug, even though her tone didn’t sound like she believed it herself. “However-”
“Here it comes!” The younger man’s thoughts yell.
“The company funding these haunted houses has placed a ban on you both.”
Usopp holds in the laughter wanting to break through and squeezing his boyfriend’s hand is helping a little. He feels a squeeze back but doesn’t dare to look at Sanji’s face because as soon as he would, all that goofy noise he was holding back would let loose.