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Arkady is in the kitchen making tea when the call comes over the comms.
“Hey folks!” Krejjh’s voice crackles. We’ve got some news that is on the more urgent side of our usual, so if you could all head over to the mess that’d be appreciated! Krejjh out.”
Arkady takes a sip of her tea and thoroughly burns her tongue, cursing under her breath as she makes her way to the mess. She turns in as she manages to burn herself again, with tea slopping over the edge, and hisses. She’s the last to arrive, and takes a seat beside Brian, carefully placing her mug on the table. As soon as she’s seated Sana clears her throat and rests her hands together.
“I’m sure it hasn’t gone unnoticed by all of you that we’ve been running low on medical supplies. The last three stops have been out of the supplies we need, and it’s unlikely we’ll reach another large city before we need them more urgently. Park and McCabe will come with me to make the drop. Jeeter, Krejjh, you two will keep an eye on all alert systems just in case we accidentally trip something, and Patel, you’ll take Liu planetside.”
Arkady is on her feet before she realizes what’s happening. “No.” She declares firmly, ignoring the flicker of hurt that shows itself in Violet’s features. “Hell no. I’m not taking a civilian onto a planet where there’s a civil war going on.”
“I’d hardly call a sporadically-appearing geurilla group a civil war,” Sana replies calmly, “and I wouldn’t be sending you at all if I thought you’d be in danger. The geurrilla group hasn’t made an appearance in weeks, and Violet -”
“Violet needs to be there,” the woman in question finishes. “I know what I’m looking for, and how to tell if it’s been diluted or re-packaged, which happens a lot.”
Arkady glances back and forth from Violet to Sana, and settles on flaring at the captain. “Fine,” she bites off, “but we’re doing this fast. In-and-out, no extra stops.”
“Fine.” Violet responds, her voice icy.
“Geez,” Brian grumbles under his breath to Krejjh, “it would be warmer in the deep freeze.”
“Thank you, crewman Jeeter,” Sana sighs. “Everyone else, get what you need together - we’ll be landing in an hour.”
Arkady pushes herself up and storms away. It takes her a stunningly short time to stock up on weapons: knives in her sleeves and boots, blaster in her vest, ammo tucked into her belt. Then she goes to find the captain.
Sana is in her room when Arkady arrives, stockpiling a variety of bags into a semi-organized chaos. “Arkady.” She comments with her back still to the door. “Close that behind you, will you?” Arkady complies, and Sana turns to face her. “Alright, out with it. Why don’t you think Violet should go with you?”
“You say that like I’m being irrational!” Arkady bites. “She’s untrained. She doesn’t know anything about combat, she’s a terrible liar - what happens if a guard stops us for an ID check? Out there she’s useless - worse than useless, she’s a liability that could get both of us killed. I can get this shit on my own, I’ve done it dozens of times before. I don’t get why - ”
Sana raises an eyebrow, and Arkady realizes how expressive she’s gotten. She takes a second to collects herself, then continues: “She’s been in the field once - once - and you’ve seen what that did to her. She spent two weeks walking around here like a fucking ghost, and I don’t see why we should jeopardize the pickup because she needs to ID some bottles.”
Sana’s expression shifts into something like acknowledgement. “Ah,” she says softly, “so that’s what this is about.”
Arkady can’t take it - the recognition, the unmoving concern. She swings open the door to storm out - but she can’t.
Because Violet is there.
She’s frozen in place, looking like she’s been struck. Arkady’s stomach plummets and she tries desperately to think of something - anything - to wipe that look off Violet’s face.
“Liu -”
“I’m ready to leave,” the woman replies in a clipped voice. “That’s all I came here to say.”
And she turns and darts down the hall, leaving Arkady standing in the doorway with clenched fists and the shattered weight of having broken something that had only just been mended.
It’s a risk, obviously. Violet isn’t naive enough to disregard the possibilities of something going wrong. But the odds were low, and Arkady would be with her, which felt like a good thing until they announced the plan in the mess. Which - whatever. Violet’s a big girl, she can deal with a little conflict, even if it’s from someone she’d hoped would have her back on this.
She pushes it to the back of her mind, and heads to her bunk. She doesn’t have supplies to collect as much as she wants to review her list of medicines and go over her cover story, which is completed in an almost laughable amount of time. And...part of her wants to go talk to Sana about the mission - and about Arkady. Only a few weeks ago she would have ignored this impulse, but now she’s a part of the crew. She reminds herself that she’s not a nuisance, not an outsider; that Sana will not hate her for wasting her time. She goes to find the captain.
It’s confusing, being on a new ship just when she’d started to get used to the Rumor. It felt a tiny bit like starting over, which is stupid, she knows it’s stupid. She’s gone from being an IGR biologist employee to a refugee paramedic for a band of space smugglers in the span of a month, and it’s still making her head spin. She just wants - to fit in? To know what she’s doing? To have Arkady’s doubt not wiggle inside her like a parasite?
She just wants.
She finally finds Sana’s door. Before she can knock, Arkady’s voice hits her like a shockwave: because she’s still talking about this. About her. About how she doesn’t deserve to be here.
“Out there she’s useless - worse than useless - a liability -”
Violet freezes. She can feel it, the bracing immobility that stops her from doing anything but breathe in tight, shallow gasps of air. She thought things were getting better. She though Arkady - god, she thought she trusted her, how stupid is she?
And then the door opens, and Violet doesn’t have nearly enough time to rearrange her features into anything resembling neutral. Arkady is in front of her, looking guilty, and it’s all Violet can do to stammer an excuse and dash away.
She goes to the kitchen, because it’s closest, and bolts the door behind her. She can feel her hands shaking, feel the unbearable pounding in her chest and the air struggling to seep into her lungs. She hops onto the counter and curls in a corner, head pressed against the cupboards - focus on the things around you, she tells herself furiously, dashing tears from her cheeks, focus focus FOCUS. She lets out on sharp sob, biting down on her hand to stop the next one from escaping - it’s using up too much of her limited oxygen but she can’t make it stop.
She stays in the fetal position for an agonizing span of time, until she hears Sana come on the intercom. “We are five minutes from landing,” the captain’s voice says, dragging Violet back to her surroundings. “Crew, please gather at the loading dock.”
Violet looks at her only slightly steadier hands, and mutters a quick curse under her breath. She splashes water on her face and hops down, pulling her sleeves over her hands and gripping the ends.
When she enters the loading dock it is blatantly obvious by Sana’s worried expression that the water didn’t do much. Thank god, she doesn’t mention it. Violet straightens and follows the group out through the dock.
“Here,” the captain hands Arkady a sheet of folded paper. “These are the directions. Your contact is a doctor named Marcus Kriesh, and he’s going through a good amount of trouble to get us these supplies - the black market grade stuff you asked for, Violet, especially - so try and be on your best behavior, please.” This last part seems to be directed at Arkady, who scoffs.
“Yeah boss, I’ll remember my manners,” she quips, and Violet lets out her breath in what isn’t quite a laugh but is the best she can manage.
“Liu, you’re prepared?” Sana asks, a little more emphatic than she normally sounds. Violet directly avoids her gaze, unready for any form of pity or acknowledgement the woman may be offering up.
“Absolutely,” she replies, then half-turns to Arkady. “Lead the way.”
Violet’s eyes are red, is what Arkady notices first. And then - the curled up sleeves. The unsteady movement of her shoulders. She thinks back to the conversation they’d had that one night: growing up with an anxiety disorder...fuck. She’d fucked up, she really really fucked up -
She derails this train of thought. She can figure that shit out later, but right now her main focus is on keeping Violet safe.
They navigate the busy streets, finally coming up on a short strip-mall-esque building, except that the windows are covered in paper and the only remnant of a sign is the dirt outline of where letters used to be.
“This way,” Violet points, reading over Arkady’s shoulder. “Should be the third from the end.”
Sure enough when they knock there’s a brief flicker of the paper at the window, and a few seconds later the door swings inward. A tall man with dark hair and flickering eyes is there waiting for them.
“Marcus?” Violet asks, and he nods.
“You must be Delaney and Kathryn. Come in, quickly.” He ushers them inside and closes the door after them, locking and dead-bolting it. “Here,” he gestures to an array of items gathered on a table in the center of the room. “I was told there would be a scientist here to examine them?”
“That would be me,” Violet says, stepping forward to pick up a small bottle in the front. She twists the lid off and sniffs it, waiting a moment before recapping the bottle and switching it out for the next one. Arkady looks around the room. There’s only the one door and two windows, which she doesn’t like. Possible obstacles: the table, a tarp laying across the floor, an old three-legged chair in the corner. Marcus is still fidgeting. He checks his watch.
“Need to be somewhere?” Arkady asks, her voice icily sweet. Something about this - the worst thing to happen to him is being fired. He’s acting like - like -
“They’re all good,” Violet confirms, and Arkady hands Marcus the small leather pouch she’d brought.
“Grab them and let’s go,” Arkady says tightly. It’s probably fine. It’s probably -
“Wait.” Marcus looks panicked.
“Violet, go!”
And then the door breaks down.
Arkady feels herself shift into where her thoughts are in movement, in action; she pushes Violet through the window as she draws her blaster and aims at one of the four bodies standing in the doorway. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She should have known better.
She follows Violet out the window; she lands on her back and it knocks the wind out of her but she’s up and running anyways, pushing Violet ahead of her and shooting backwards at the pursuing agents. A bullet scrapes past her ear and she ducks, weaving back and forth as fast as possible. They’re so close to the crowded part of the city, if they can just make it there -
Violet stumbles.
Arkady sees her crumple to the ground; sees the blood blossoming from her side as a cry escapes Violet’s lips. She reaches out and lifts her, the only thing she can think to do, placing Violet’s arm across her shoulders and grabbing her waist. Just one more corner, just one more corner - another shot skims past them, catching Arkady’s arm and she hisses. The next one hits the inside of her leg and it’s burning, flames tearing apart her muscles as she pushes forward. And then they’re turning the corner, and the throng of people envelops them without hesitation. She chances a look behind them to see the agents scanning the crowd, but the bullets have stopped. She reaches up to turn her comm on, which is honestly something she should have done well before now, but was distracted by the bullets.
“ - and I swear to god if you are dead I will bring you back to life so I can kill you again -”
“Krejjh.” Arkady interrupts. “Krejjh, we need help.”
“Holy shit thank GOD, there were coded messages going all over and the alert systems have been blaring and I thought you all were dead -”
“Violet got hit.” Arkady gasps, looking over at the other woman as she speaks. Her eyes are open but there’s a glazed look in them, and her legs are moving, but slowly. “I’m sending you our coordinates - we’re gonna need an exit team.”
There’s a hitched breath along the line, and then Krejjh continues in their forced-cheer voice, “Got them. We’ll be there right away.”
“Thanks, Krejjh.”
Arkady makes it a couple more steps before her legs buckle, and they both slide to the ground. “Fuck,” she mutters under her breath, “fuck, we need to move,” and then she hears Violet’s voice.
“We need to make it around the corner,” she says firmly. “We can do this.”
Arkady takes a gasping breath and then stands back up, half-dragging Violet with her. It feels like the air is being sucked out of her lungs but all she can think about is Violet’s hand pressed to her side, the blood spreading beneath her fingers. They make it around the corner and into an alley, where they collapse behind a dumpster.
“Okay.” Arkady mutters. “Okay. What do we do now?”
“There’s a bandage in the bag,” Violet replies, shaky but coherent. “Pass it to me.”
Arkady grabs the bag that Violet had, somehow, held onto, and grabs a bandage out of it, ripping the packaging with her teeth. She lifts up Violet’s shirt as gently as she can, but still hears the quick inhale that accompanies it. Violet presses it to the wound, gasps, and then nods firmly. “Okay, I’m gonna need you to - to hold this here, because I’m seeing spots and might be about to pass out.” Arkady gently presses on the fabric, and Violet winces. “More pressure than that, please.” She wavers, but remains conscious.
There’s a long silence that draws itself between them. Arkady is watching Violet’s face, which is deceptively passive as the woman focuses deeply on breathing. “Can you just - talk, please? About anything?”
“Of course.” Arkady’s voice is hoarse. She grasps for something that isn't desperately awful, and comes up with something from the prison, of all places. “I - um. When I was a kid, I had a best friend named Triell. She did all the theatre things with me, was crazy about opera, and had the most gorgeous voice I’d ever heard. Could’ve gone pro with it, honestly. So she started fucking around with it, right, seeing what her voice could do? And figured out pretty fast that she could throw it wherever she wanted. So we started pranking people - making birds talk, and inanimate objects, random shit. This one time we hid in the bushes and she made two of the guards think they were absolutely batshit crazy for an entire night. I’ve never had that much fun.”
Violet’s smiling, somehow, and she shifts her head just a little to look at Arkady. “What happened to her?”
Well. Arkady’s breath stutters in her chest as she tries to make her voice steady. “During the war, prisoners were just...bodies, right? They got put on the front lines. I saw it in her file, when I went looking for her - and then nothing.” Her voice is bitter. “They didn’t even bother to ID her body.”
Violet is quiet. “I’m...I’m so sorry, Arkady.” They sit there for another minute, counting the seconds. The team has to be here soon. They have to be. “Can I...ask you a question?” She blurts, and Arkady starts.
“You’re the bleeding out one, sweetheart. You can ask me anything you damn well please.”
“Okay.” Violet lets out a breath. Her hands are starting to shake more violently at her sides. “Why do you hate me?”
It’s so unexpected that Arkady leans back and almost loses her grip on the wound. “I - what? Why would you think that?”
Violet laughs, then half-sobs, and then laughs again. God, please, she has to make it back in one piece. Please. “You think I’m incompetent. You think I’m - I’m useless. You couldn’t even stand to spend an hour with me on a mission, which just -” she takes in another deep, shaky breath. “I thought we were...I don’t know. Getting along.”
“Look.” Arkady starts, and then huffs. “I don’t - I don’t hate you, that is the opposite of what I feel about you, I just - I was an ass before, and I’m sorry. I didn’t...ugh. I like you, Violet Liu. I think you’re smart, and stubborn, and kind, and brilliant but you don’t fucking take care of yourself. Every time you’ve come up against a near-death experience, you have chosen to sacrifice yourself. And that’s….that’s not okay with me, alright? I am not going to let you sit around and offer yourself up anytime we run into danger. It’s my job to keep you all safe. And if something happened to you -” she breaks off, unable to finish the thought. Violet is going to be okay. She has to be.
She feels a hand cover her own, and looks up to see Violet gazing at her wide-eyed. “I’m gonna be okay,” she says softly, but they both know it’s a lie as she says it. The hitch in her breath, the whimper when Arkady presses too hard - it’s a numbers game from this point on, and they have no way of predicting the outcome.
Less than a minute later, Violet passes out. The others come two minutes and twenty-nine seconds after, and it’s the longest two minutes and twenty-nine seconds Arkady has ever, will ever, experience. She’s going to be okay. She’s going to be okay.
Someone pulls Arkady away, lifts her up gently. The places she was grazed have stopped hurting altogether, and everything seems to be moving too slowly. She hears someone calling her name, but can’t tear her eyes away from Violet’s motionless body.
“Arkady! ” Sana’s voice calls from somewhere beside her, and it’s the last thing she hears before her vision starts swimming and dark spots overtake her.
When Violet wakes up, she can’t move. Her legs, her arms, her mouth - nothing. It takes a couple of terrifying seconds before her muscles kick in, and with it comes a fresh wave of pain stemming from her side. She lets out a low whimper, and hears footsteps come near her. Arkady is there, staring down at her with unfiltered concern in her eyes.
“How are you feeling, Liu?” She asks quickly, eyes scanning up and down Violet’s body in a check for any issues with the bandages. She knows this, but Violet can still feel her cheeks warm. Not the time, Liu, she tells herself fiercely.
“I’ve….been better,” she admits reluctantly, doing her best not to move. “How long have I been out?”
“A couple of hours,” Arkady settles on the edge of the bed. “I think. I was a fellow member of the non-consensual-sleeping state for a bit so I might not be the most reliable judge.”
It’s then that she notices Arkady’s wrapped leg, arm, and ear, which she did not see while they were running. Her heart freezes in her chest for a moment. “What happened to you?”
Arkady shrugs. “A couple bullets grazed me. It’s fine.”
Violet struggles so that she’s up on her elbows, which makes her gasp and her eyes water as fire runs through her veins. “It’s not fine! You were carrying me - god, while you were giving me the talk about not throwing my life away -”
“It’s not the same thing.” Arkady sounds mystified more than angry. “I did what I had to so we could survive, okay? That’s different from placing yourself in danger for no apparent reason.”
Violet stops and scrunches her eyes up. “Listen. I know we...have had our differences. But I care about you, okay? And if you didn’t come back because you were careless with your life...just don’t be, okay?”
Arkady is looking at her with an indecipherable expression.
“What?” Violet asks, and Arkady kisses her.
It’s soft and sweet and right, and it’s so out of nowhere that Violet freezes. Completely still - Arkady is kissing her. Arkady is kissing her. She is stuck in this loop for so long that she forgets to react before Arkady pulls away, gaze trained on the floor.
“I didn’t - fuck. I’m just - god, I’m so sorry, I’m gonna leave now -”
Violet grabs her arm before she can leave, and pulls her back. The raw openness on Arkady’s face is something she’s never seen before, and it makes something inside of her unwind. “Wait,” she says softly, and pushes herself up a little more. “Wait.”
It’s the defining moment: everything she wants, everything she’s terrified of.
She pulls Arkady down and kisses her.
The other woman tastes like smoke and blood and the leftover remnants of something sweeter; it is so unequivocally familiar, as Arkady places her hands gently on Violet’s hips. Like they’ve done this a thousand times before. Her breath stutters in her throat as her wound flinches; she gasps, and Arkady pulls back.
“Are you alright?” She asks, hands still mercifully on Violet’s skin.
Violet nods. “I’m...yes. I am very alright. More than alright, actually, it’s just that kissing is hard when you just got shot -”
“Shit, sorry.” Arkady readjusts her hands, and then stops for a moment. When she looks up at Violet her face is painted with the sort of excruciating vulnerability that Violet’s never seen on her before. Her voice is quiet. “Are you sure you want this? We don’t - this doesn’t have to be a this, I know I’ve lied to you, and - and killed someone in front of you, and -”
“Arkady.” Violet’s voice is firm. “You are amazing.” Arkady starts, but Violet keeps going. “You’re strong, and loyal, and smart, and kind, and stubborn as hell.” She places her hands on top of Arkady’s. “I want this to be a this….if you do, too.”
Arkady’s smile could split mountains. “Yeah,” she replies. “I...yes.”
“Good.” Violet feels the corners of her lips twitch up. “Because I really, really like you, Arkady Patel.”
“Likewise,” Arkady responds, and kisses her again.