Chapter Text
Part One (Chapter Nine)
It was, she reflected, not unlike her return from Kent. She had so much to conceal! Of course, that was not likely to be possible with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. They had no conception of what should be concealed and why and Lizzy had seemingly no inclination to tell them.
Lizzy watched the landscape trickle by as her aunt and uncle discussed what they had seen in preparation for the inevitable onslaught of questions. Although Lizzy doubted her mother would be interested in the architecture of Blenheim.
Why had she not told her Aunt about Mr Wickham’s perfidy? It wasn’t because she was keeping Mr Darcy’s secret; she had told Jane after all. No, she did not want to expose herself to her aunt. She who prided herself on her judgement, to be so taken in by such a man! It was humiliating.
Then there was Mr Darcy. There was the chance that Mrs Gardiner would not understand Lizzy’s refusal of such a man; a man who could provide everything for her family. Mrs Gardiner did not believe in imprudence. Neither did she believe in marriage without respect nor affection, but Mr Darcy’s behaviour to Mrs Gardiner would make it difficult for her to believe that Lizzy could truly think that the necessary respect and affection was impossible.
Of course, Mrs Gardiner had at first not believed what had been said about Mr Darcy at Pemberley. Mr Wickham was too charming, too associated with her nostalgia for Derbyshire and Lizzy too certain, for her opinions to be swayed by some long-time servants who would have affections of their own. But then Mr Darcy had appeared and worked his charm too and Lizzy knew that Mrs Gardiner was wondering how her favourite niece could be quite so wrong.
Lizzy could not speak because she did not know what to say. She had been mortified when Mr Darcy had arrived early and found them touring his estate. His ease of manner and insistence in being all that was gentlemanly confused her further.
Mr Bingley had been as he ever had been; charming and eager. Mrs Gardiner had remarked she found him quite like a puppy, which explained the ease in which he was led by his friends and his sisters.
Mr Bingley’s sisters were unchanged also, and Lizzy congratulated herself that there her opinion and judgement had not been faulty. Miss Bingley was indeed jealous and made herself less appealing by her manner of recommending herself, and her sister guarded Miss Bingley’s interests. Mr Hurst they need not even discuss.
But Mr Darcy! Lizzy could not credit it. Was this the work of her words to him in Kent? The intelligence of his servants made that unlikely. But still she did sense that he was trying to prove to her that he could behave in a gentleman-like manner.
Had he truly wished to fish with her uncle, a man in trade, who should be so far beneath him? Did Mr Darcy find him good sensible company, or was he acting the part? Or was it that his surroundings made him comfortable and able to be affable?
Lizzy saw now the genius of Mr Wickham’s tales. Had she and her family now landed in Mr Darcy’s mind as the type of people who were worth his while? For even according to Wickham, where he found such people Mr Darcy could be liberal-minded, just, sincere, rational, honourable, and perhaps agreeable?
No, she could not believe that to be true; it was another of Mr Wickham’s misdirections. If Mr Darcy wished to show her, her error in refusing him her mistakes in judgement, her pride and her prejudice, he would not have been so attentive.
A simple invitation to visit with the ladies and taking Mr Gardiner fishing would have sufficed. But he had invited them to dine twice, and had taken charge of organising on one of those days a tour to places that were hidden from the guidebooks. He had played host to them and not given one sign that their presence was unwelcome or that their situation in life was unpalatable.
Lizzy felt that his feelings towards her had not changed. She tried not to feel too puffed up that his feelings for her had survived such a wounding of his vanity and pride.
What she could not make out were her own feelings. She had had a strange sensation upon first seeing Pemberley and realising of what she could have been mistress. But to accept a man because of his fine house was too much like Charlotte accepting Mr Collins for her to think on it any further.
Lizzy could now identify the many qualities that made Mr Darcy a better man, and a better match, than Mr Collins but to be so mercenary to accept a man because he liked her and he had extensive grounds was an abominable thought.
She didn’t know whether Mr Darcy was necessary to her happiness. Lizzy had never been in the deepest love that she felt was necessary for matrimony. She had felt a great deal of affection, and feelings of a less noble baser origin, for a number of gentlemen. But nothing that had lasted, nothing that fostered the kind of respect she needed in a husband.
Mr Darcy intrigued her certainly, and his interest was highly flattering, but she did not know him. She thought she did, but she had been wrong.
The five days acquaintance at Pemberley was certainly not enough to be sure. Was it?
“We are almost there,” said Mr Gardiner, looking out the window.
“Yes,” said his wife, “Your sister will be very pleased to hear that Mr Bingley is likely to come shoot.”
Mrs Gardiner could have been speaking to Lizzy or her husband and thus of Jane or Mrs Bennet, but it did not matter to Lizzy. On behalf of either lady, she begged her Aunt to keep that bit of news to herself.
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The only thing that piqued Lizzy’s interest was her mother lamenting the fact her husband was being so difficult with regards to her youngest daughters. Mr Bennet rarely interfered in family life, particularly when it came to curbing the entertainments of his daughters. Jane’s last letter to her in Derbyshire had been particularly scanty in news and detail and Lizzy wondered that Jane had not mentioned the uproar caused by these new changes.
Lydia had greeted them on their arrival before demanding Mrs Gardiner’s attentions to her gown, which had been purchased in Brighton at great expense but was, Lydia proudly boasted, made up to be the height of fashion.
“Lydia has not changed,” said Lizzy to Jane in a low voice. “Papa’s thought that her exposing herself in Brighton would bring her to her senses has not occurred.”
The expression on Jane’s face was troubled and while she attempted to smile it did not reach her eyes. Lizzy wanted to take her sister out of the room that very moment to discover the cause of this distress, but Jane, sensing her feelings, shook her head slightly. Their conversation would have to wait.
Kitty and Mary had been walking to the Lucas’ and thus not been there to greet them. If Lydia had not been improved by Brighton, Lydia’s shadow had little chance of success, but when Kitty entered the room, Lizzy was surprised to note her sister clutched books to her chest. She also had lost some of her paleness and Lizzy thought that perhaps the sea air had done her some physical good.
Lydia and Kitty fell into a squabble immediately, of course, over the books. Lizzy was surprised that Kitty should be interested in the great families of England, but of course she probably thought her sister had met them all on her travels.
Her aunt took this opportunity to tease Lizzy about Mr Darcy and Lizzy felt her countenance change. She should have told Mrs Gardiner not to discuss Mr Darcy, but that would be the top of a slippery slope of information that Lizzy was not sure she wanted to voice.
It was all she could do to remain serene in the face of Mrs Gardiner’s assault. Perhaps she did feel more than she had ever before if she did not wish to discuss her feelings with her aunt. Previously Lizzy had been so open with her aunt about her flirtations and admirers.
Lizzy took refuge in sipping her tea and not thinking about former flirtations when her mother spoke peevishly. "If it wasn't for a small obstacle which we are all convinced will be soon overcome, Lydia would be Mrs George Wickham by now!"
“Oh yes, we expect my dear George any day now, Aunt,” said Lydia from where she was playing spilkins with her young cousins.
The shock she felt at Mr Wickham’s – Mr Wickham, of all people! – name coupled with her sister’s made Lizzy spill her tea.
Lizzy knew not what she did as Jane and Mrs Gardiner took the situation in hand and guided her upstairs, Mrs Bennet’s complaints about the spoiling of the rug ringing in her ears.
“Jane!” Lizzy allowed her sister to pull off her dress, but then she had to speak.
“Oh, it looks as though you are not scalded,” said her sister.
“Mr Wickham, Jane! …what did Mama mean?”
Jane sunk onto the bed and looked at her aunt and Lizzy with a pained expression.
“I did not wish to write to you and worry you on your journey.”
“They are engaged?” Lizzy could not keep the horror from her voice.
“An imprudent match, but he is a charming man, perhaps a little harsh on a certain friend of ours … “ Mrs Gardiner pressed a cloth against Lizzy’s dress.
“No, Aunt!” cried Lizzy. “Mr Wickham is a villain. I did not tell you before because – I do not know. But he is a villain.”
“It is possible to like two people,” said Mrs Gardiner mildly, “without having to take one in violent dislike because the other becomes more attractive.”
“He tried to elope with Miss Darcy, who was then only fifteen years old, for her thirty thousand pounds.” It was out before Lizzy could stop herself.
Mrs Gardiner looked to Jane for the veracity of this and sunk down on a chair. “Can this be? And Lydia is…”
“She is not to marry him. She agreed to leave Brighton with him. Kitty discovered their plot and …“ Jane stood up to pace a little. “Poor girl. She did not know what to do. Lydia, well we know our sister…and Kitty is not… well, she is more like me, I think. She insisted that she be taken along too because it would be more proper if there was a chaperone.”
Lizzy groaned and felt wretchedly ill. She could have prevented this. Thoughtless Lydia! Foolish Kitty!
“But they are both safely here,” prompted Mrs Gardiner.
“I have not pressed Lydia on the matter; she will not see that she has done any wrong and our mother…assists her in that view. But Kitty is sincerely distressed. I think she feels everything that she should, but she finds it difficult to speak of it, I think. Colonel Forster wrote. Between the three accounts I believe that Lydia left Kitty alone in Brighton … “
“On the street?” said Mrs Gardiner, clearly not believing her niece to be so cruel or thoughtless.
Jane nodded. “I understand Kitty was rescued by a gentleman of Lizzy’s acquaintance and thus the Colonel was informed and Lydia and Mr Wickham brought back to Brighton. Colonel Forster set out with the girls almost the very next day. Oh, Lizzy! Oh, Aunt! Mr Wickham has such debts – and not just debts. I did not think it was possible.”
“Oh, I did,” said Lizzy, avoiding looking at her face in the mirror. “What do you mean a gentleman of my acquaintance?”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam is billeted in Brighton.”
Then Mr Darcy would know was Lizzy’s first thought and how he must congratulate himself on his lucky escape.
Silence descended upon the room as the three women mediated on their own thoughts. Mrs Gardiner broke this silence first.
“Well, I am sure there is some gossip in Brighton, but Lydia is safe here, as is her sister, and soon it will be as if it never happened. It has been a very lucky escape, and we must hope that we can impress upon Lydia the magnitude of what she has done.”
“You may try Aunt; I do not think I care to.”
“Lizzy!” said Jane.
“No, Jane. Colonel Fitzwilliam, of all people! He too must wonder at how I should have such a family. Ungovernable mother and sisters. He shall tell all of his acquaintance.”
“You spoke of him as a gentleman, Lizzy,” said Mrs Gardiner.
“He is Miss Darcy’s guardian he knows Mr Wickham’s true nature,” added Jane.
Lizzy would not be comforted.
“And what should it matter if he did?” asked Mrs Gardiner.
“Do you think Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley will return to Netherfield once they hear of this?”
Lizzy closed her eyes; she had not meant to say that! Jane turned away, but not before Lizzy saw the pain in her eyes.
“I think if a young man chooses to take aversion to a woman – a family – he admires and appreciates, because she has foolish sixteen and eighteen year-old sisters who were taken in by a practiced seducer, then he is not much of a young man and certainly not one I want marrying my niece.”
“And, Lizzy, there was never much hope Mr Bingley was going to return. You must not think I hope for that anymore.” Jane squeezed Lizzy’s hand before leaving, no doubt to privately grieve.
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Mr Bennet looked older than Lizzy remembered and she wanted to comfort him, but she did not know what to say. It would be better to speak to him the next morning when she could speak more rationally. At the present, time despite her sorrow that he had been so hurt and disillusioned, she could only think that she had warned him.
After she had retired for the evening, she tried to think of how she could relieve her father of some of his burden of his guilt and whether she wanted to when Kitty interrupted.
Kitty took over the brushing of her hair, and Lizzy could only think of an eager to please ten year-old Kitty who had always been available to brush her sister’s hair. Lizzy had noticed Kitty watching her through dinner; at one moment after dinner Lizzy had thought she would, speak but she had changed her mind.
"Did you know about Mr Wickham?”
It was a blunt question and Lizzy was surprised at it.
"Yes. I knew of his instability of character. If anything further had happened to Lydia in Brighton, it would have been my fault for not exposing his character."
She should have exposed his character; she had discussed it with Jane and then allowed herself to be persuaded. No, that was not accurate: Lizzy had not wanted to attempt the impossible. She did not want to expose herself and her bad judgement.
"Why did you not? Expose his character, I mean."
Kitty echoed her thoughts so precisely that Lizzy had a difficult time believing this to be the same cipher of a sister who had left for Brighton two months ago.
"I did not think I should be believed. Is Mr Wickham daily expected? Jane says no one but Mama and Lydia has any real thought to it, but… "
Jane had been reassuring, but Lydia rarely confided in anyone but Kitty and while Kitty might be no longer in Lydia’ good graces, she was the sister who knew Lydia best.
"No, even Lydia – I think – has forgotten him except for the fact he is the reason Papa is curtailing her access to society, … except of course when Mama reminds her of his existence like this afternoon. It is Mama who truly expects, but her mind will be moved the moment some other young man pays serious attentions to her daughters."
Lizzy let out a sigh of relief. The damage was not material to Lydia. Wickham could not have picked a better target. She had seen for herself the damage caused to a sensitive heart. Lydia would not need much to recover as long as she did not take it upon herself to run away.
"Jane tells me that Colonel Fitzwilliam discovered you in Brighton? I think you were very lucky with your rescuer. I cannot think of a better man."
What would have Kitty made of Colonel Fitzwilliam? He had a red coat but was not handsome or so very young. What had Colonel Fitzwilliam made of her and how had he compared Lizzy to Kitty and Lydia?
"Was it from him that you heard of Mr Wickham's character?"
Lizzy nodded, startled. She had not thought it would be so obvious when and where she had come by her knowledge. It was best, though, that Kitty continued to think it was Colonel Fitzwilliam. Lizzy could not expose Mr Darcy, not now.
They were interrupted by Jane; Lizzy had forgotten she had asked Jane to come see her before she retired. Jane was spending her nights with her cousins, who were going to miss her deeply when they returned to London shortly.
Lizzy did not feel able to send Kitty away, so it was with an audience that she told Jane about Mr Bingley’s presence at Pemberley and the possibility of his coming to shoot. She could only hope Kitty had enough sense now not to gossip.
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“Am I to get no peace?” cried Mr Bennet as he saw her.
“Papa,” she admonished.
“I hope you have not come to lecture me again. I have learnt my lesson you will see.”
Lizzy did not think that he had learnt his lesson, or at least for very long and that saddened her. She loved her father very much but as she grew older and hopefully wiser she saw more of his foibles.
“No, I was just going into the garden and wondered if you had any requests for the dinner table?”
“Something somber,” was his joking response.
“This is as peaceful as this house will be,” said Lizzy. “Normal gossip and goings on, no gentlemen to disturb, our little cousins returned to London with their parents.”
“Then we must hope it will last.”
It was not to last. Mrs Phillips arrived with news that Lizzy both dreaded and anticipated. Mr Darcy – with Mr Bingley – was returning to Netherfield.