Chapter Text
DAY 1
She was exhausted to the point she almost missed the quiet and monotony of her life on Jakku. Almost. She just wanted to sleep, she just wanted somewhere quiet. But the Falcon was filled beyond capacity, there was no room anywhere. She had one last spot to try or it was the corridor floor, thoughts of being stepped on be damned. “Sorry,” she stammered, backing out of the small alcove. Of course this place was taken too.
“It’s fine,” Poe mumbled, he was obviously half asleep. “There’s no damn room anywhere.”
“I’ll let you get back to sleep,” she said softly. Maybe Leia would let her sleep on the floor of the bedroom. She really didn’t want to be stepped on. Not after the day she’d had.
“You look ready to fall over, I can share my spot,” he said in reply. “Hell, I’ll give you my spot. I’d be dead if it weren’t for you, you were amazing today.”
Her whole body felt too hot, embarrassment flooding her. “No it’s fine, really.”
He gave her another kind smile. She could get used to him smiling at her. “I know we just met but you do look like you need a break,” he said while trying to rise. “Take my spot, I must have gotten an hour of sleep, I can go fly the ship or something. I don’t want to remember anything right now, I should keep busy.”
She placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him, sinking to the hard floor instead. “It really was a horrible day wasn’t it?” she managed with a weak laugh.
“Oh yeah,” he chuckled. “Maker, if I could do this day all over again.”
“You’re telling me. I’d give anything to do it over again.”
DAY 2
He was back in his bunk. How in the hell was he in his bunk? They’d left the base, he remembered it kinda vividly. It was a little hard to forget all those people dying. He shook his head, it had to have been a dream. They were evacuating, it was his head playing tricks on him. Some worst case scenario giving him nightmares. That had to be it.
Then it all played out. Exactly the same. It was almost like he couldn’t stop himself, daring the bad things to happen. And they did. The only bright spot was literally bright, seeing Rey move those rocks, bringing them all back out of the darkness and into the light.
He hadn’t changed anything, might as well stick with it. He approached her just like he had in his dream, introducing himself. Of course the one good part had to be different. She’d been happy, smiling that time, almost embarrassed by the attention. Now she just looked tired. “Yes, yes, I know, you’re Poe. We’ve met but I doubt you remember that either. No one else does,” she mumbled.
He stood there frozen, hand held out. “Wait? You remember doing all this too?” he whispered urgently.
Her eyes widened, mouth dropping open in shock. Rey’s mouth worked silently, opening and closing a few times before grabbing his outstretched hand and leading him to a familiar spot. He’d never set foot in the Millennium Falcon, but it was familiar somehow. “Did we fall asleep here?” she asked quietly.
He could only nod. “So you remember doing all of this before?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Rey, I’ve never been more confused in my life.”
DAY 3
“So this is getting annoying,” she said once they had reached their spot. They’d just met, but somehow they had a spot already.
“Oh yeah,” he replied, the hand tangling in his hair, giving away how annoyed he was feeling.
She gave a small sigh. “I don’t even understand how this is possible. How are we reliving the same day over and over?” she asked.
Poe shrugged, he did that far too often. “You’re the Jedi, you tell me.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “That would require Luke to actually train me. He hasn’t been very helpful, why do you think I keep showing up without him?”
He snapped his fingers. “Maybe if we stay awake, it won’t happen,” he said hopefully. “There has to be a way to stop this.”
“I’m exhausted, I don’t think I could stay awake,” she replied. “Being tortured by Snoke was bad enough the first time. The third time around isn’t any better.”
“So we keep each other up. Might as well get to know each other if we’re stuck in this stupid ... loop or whatever you want to call it,” he suggested. “I mean come on, we’re both pilots, we’re friends with Finn and ... torture buddies! We’ve got tons in common.”
DAY 4
Well that didn’t work. Rey had been mid laugh when he found himself in his bunk. This was getting ridiculous, time to change things. Watching his friends die had to stop.
DAY 27
She could feel the smile tugging at her lips. The beacon had brought them back to Crait for the first time in weeks. It had been constant worry, the signal being untraceable, going back to the planet just in case and finding nothing behind those rocks. Seeing the small band of people was a relief. Finn rushed over, hugging her tightly but she noticed the exhaustion on Poe’s face. The remainder of the Resistance scrambled onto the Falcon, she knew already where to look for him.
“Where have you been?” she asked worriedly.
“I tried to fix things,” he replied wearily. “I’ve been shot down in my X-wing, blown up with the rest of the fleet and someone shot me yesterday for attempted kidnapping. I just needed a break so I did what I did the first time.”
“Why exactly did you keep dying?” she asked in confusion. “Kidnapping?”
He sighed. “Not the smartest decision I’ve ever made, but I’m getting desperate. I tried to fix the battle so everyone didn’t die and I just ended up getting killed. So I tried to recall when the order came and the Dreadnaught always blew up the fleet anyways. So my newest idea was to get Leia to just evacuate early before the First Order got to base. I might have screwed that up too. Trying to kidnap her was a really stupid plan but she wasn’t listening. I need a second opinion. So, thoughts?”
“Well if you’d shown up, I would have told you kidnapping was bad,” she laughed.
“Maybe we should plan this out,” he said with a faint smile. “If we’re in this together, we should work together. What do we have to lose at this point?”
DAY 34
She wasn’t getting better at resisting Snoke, not in the least. And it still hurt like being run over by a walker, but what else was she supposed to be doing? Poe really needed to convince Leia, she was getting tired of going back to this damn ship.
DAY 92
She had a moment of pure joy when she saw the fleet orbiting Crait. Too bad her escape led the First Order right to them. Her last thought before she was shot down was she really hoped Poe remembered the plan.
DAY 93
She was a little surprised when she had the two of them hugging her tightly. Finn looked surprised as well. “How long was I out?” he asked.
Poe just laughed. “Too long buddy.”
She gave him a smile, no one would believe the truth. They met up in their spot once everyone was settled in. “Well, I finally found a way to convince Leia to head out early,” he beamed. “Then you had to get us all blown up again. Guess that’s the next item on our list?”
“I’d be more than happy to never set foot on that damn ship again,” she teased. “I’m not sure what I should do though. If I go, Snoke dies. I’m not sure what happens if I go straight to Crait.”
Poe looked confused. “Why do you end up on the Supremacy?” he asked. “I’ve never thought of it before now. I thought you were sent to find Skywalker not kill Snoke.”
She turned away from him. It had been weeks but she’d never told anyone the truth. She knew how to block the Force bond now but she’d allowed herself to try and talk to him over and over again. The thought that maybe this time, maybe if she got to know him better, she could find a way to convince him to turn back. All that had happened was being captured over and over. She couldn’t explain why she kept trying.
He knew about some of what happened, torture buddies and all of that. But she didn’t know how to tell him about Kylo. He wasn’t exactly fond of the man, he’d made that abundantly clear. Poe was the only person she had in this, he’d been honest about his mistakes. “Snoke did something to me,” she whispered. “He did something to me and Kylo Ren. We’re connected somehow.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, the confusion all over his face.
She sighed, how did she even begin to explain this. “We can ... talk to each other. In our minds,” she started hesitantly. “That’s why I keep going there. I saw a vision of him, he came to our side. I was so sure he could be good. But it keeps going wrong, he kills Snoke and takes his place every time.”
“Kylo Ren? Good?” he scoffed. “I watched the guy kill an unarmed man and give the order to kill civilians for being witnesses. He’s part of a group that killed an entire system just to be in power. You said he killed his damn mentor to take his place. Look what he did to us. He’s not good. Never will be. If you want someone good, get Skywalker. He’s who we need.”
She watched him walk away, disgust had taken over the confusion.
DAY 94
She blocked him out immediately, Poe’s harsh words had replayed over and over until she’d finally succumbed to exhaustion. She might as well try to get Luke again, it wasn’t like things would get worse. The only person who even remotely understood what was happening was mad at her. He was trying to fix what had gone wrong for the Resistance, maybe she should too.
DAY 97
He owed Rey an apology. He’d been so angry when she told him but the words had sunk in eventually. ‘Snoke did something to me’ kept repeating itself in his head and he’d barely let her explain. They needed to be together on this, they needed to be a team. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt if he killed a certain Knight of Ren first. Just the once.
DAY 98
The signal was untraceable again. Poe must still be mad at her. She wiped the tears from her eyes, Chewie looking confused at her mood. She would figure out some way to apologize to him, she would do better.
DAY 107
He stuck to the original plan, letting events go as they had the first time. Minus Finn and Rose. He knew that had been a wrong decision. The transports had reached Crait but still no Rey. He’d been hovering, Leia was going to end up slapping him for a completely different reason from the looks of it. He’d just had to screw things up again but shooting the bastard down had burned out the last of his anger. It had taken longer than he had hoped but he’d finally managed it. They’d made it safely to the bunker, none of the transports had been fired upon this time. He had to hope she was just waiting for the First Order to pass by completely. He had the nagging suspicion she was going to mad at his delay. No that he would blame her.
He chatted with Finn until his friend rose suddenly, grinning hugely. Finn bolted from their spot, rushing to hug her. Her eyes closed in contentment, maker he was worse than bantha breath for keeping her in the dark for days. He was ready to walk away when he heard Finn shout his name.
He approached them slowly, confused why he would be wanted. “Poe, this is Rey,” Finn said happily. “And Rey, Poe.”
“I know,” they both replied simultaneously.
Finn laughed, missing the tension. “I guess you guys met while I was out,” he replied, shaking his head with a smile.
She gave him a small smile, at least she didn’t look angry. Maybe all was forgiven. They could work on a plan later, she deserved some time with her friend. They had a long talk in their future.
DAY 116
Luke Skywalker was the must stubborn nerf herder in existence. No matter what she said or tried, he refused to leave this island. She could understand Poe’s kidnapping attempt, you do feel a tad desperate after a while. After a few uncomfortable reunions with Poe, they had managed to make up. And started to plan. Whatever was happening didn’t seem like it would end so they had little else to do but keep trying to make their day better. Kylo Ren wasn’t the Jedi they needed but Luke wasn’t willing either. So that left her.
DAY 247
She threw the book across the room. Well, the tree more accurately. This was going to take a while.
DAY 344
He was done. He had lived a life of monotony plenty of times, he was a former farm boy and career military man, routine had been his life before. This? This was a whole new level of hell. He reached for his blaster, pulling the trigger was far too easy.
DAY 345
It was no use, it just made him wake up faster. He marched through the base, determination the only reason he ignored the multitude of odd stares he was getting. It wasn’t until he reached command that he realized he hadn’t even bothered getting dressed, he was still in his military issue boxers and nothing else. Connix held his gaze firmly, never once looking down. She was about the only one. He had to be a deep red but it’s not like anyone would remember this anyways. “I need to talk to Rey,” he stammered. Well that just sounded pathetic, even to his own ears.
“Sorry Commander, that’s not possible,” she stated firmly. “General Organa’s orders.”
Well, kriff. Guess he was playing hooky by himself today. He could meet up with her later, she was still heading to Crait. They’d planned that as their rendezvous, no matter what.
DAY 361
Poe had been so right, they had needed this. She’d been worried when the signal stopped working but she had assumed he was just trying something new. It’s not like she hadn’t missed a day here or there. Canto Bight was nothing she had ever experienced. Not that she had ever experienced much, and little of it had been pleasant. They’d gone to several different planets over the last few weeks, spending outrageous amounts of credits she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know how he had gotten his hands on. But they both had definitely needed time away from the constant repetition. They would need to go back, this couldn’t last forever either.
She hated to bring it up though. He looked thoughtful for a moment, finally turning to her with a grin. “Date night,” he said proudly. “We need a date night. Once every week or two, so we don’t go nuts.”
“What’s date night?”
He laughed. “Pretty much what we’re doing,” he replied.
“Sounds like a plan,” she grinned. It’s not like spending the day with Poe Dameron was a hardship.
DAY 529
He wasn’t sure exactly when it happened, the days had started to blend together. Rey had become his best friend, partner, most valuable team member, whatever you wanted to call it. This was by far the strangest thing that had ever happened to him, probably her too but as much as he wanted out, he couldn’t help loving it. Just a little. Living life with no consequences did have its perks.
The worst part was wanting date night to be a real date night. So he had skipped the details a little bit it was sort of like a real date. She needed it more than he did at this point, he was pretty sure he had sorted everything on his end. They were assuming but this had to end at some point. His sanity depended on that belief. Fixing everything on what had to have been the worst day of either of their lives had to be the point of all this. So he saved the fleet, no one died anymore.
Rey, well, she had to convince Skywalker or become a full fledged Jedi on her own. According to her the latter was going better. Some days she showed up exhausted, spending her day reading ancient texts or training to fight. The rest were going back to the Supremacy to see how she fared against two of the most evil beings in the galaxy. She never wanted to talk about that.
So date night became the way to keep her happy, let her experience the galaxy a little. It wasn’t much but it was all he could do considering their situation. No matter how much he was starting to want more, she had too much going on. And it was one risk he couldn’t take, all they had were each other. We wasn’t willing to risk that. Nothing in their lives was permanent anymore. Nothing but each other.
DAY 674
She’d hit a new level of frustration. Date night had always helped but lately, it just made everything worse. She felt like she had hit some sort of wall with Poe. Luke was still stubborn and she’d hit a wall with training too. She was honestly getting to the point where she was willing to ask Snoke or Kylo for training. Then she remembered what a horrible idea it was. But she was feeling boxed in on all sides.
She’d gotten used to just dismissing Luke, no matter what she had said to the man, he always refused. She’d spent months trying to get to know ‘Ben’ but why had she never bothered to do so with Skywalker. What could really go wrong? She could anger him all she wanted, he never remembered the next day.
DAY 1038
Being stuck in an endless loop did have advantages. Once they were safe he had nothing but time to do what he wanted. He’d caught up with friends, made new ones. He’d had a far better first meeting with Holdo when she didn’t consider him a trigger happy flyboy with no concern for other people’s lives, she was actually a fountain of knowledge for battle plans. So having years to go over and revise his own was a great time killer. Rey would show up eventually most days.
The knock on his door was more urgent than usual, something making him afraid even if he couldn’t explain it. He’d seen Rey in just about every way imaginable; happy, bored, angry, exhausted, drunk, giddy. But she looked destroyed, completely lost right now, something truly awful had to have happened.
He pulled her into his room, Rey collapsing into his arms. She’d never been been particularly affectionate with anyone unless the situation was really bad. The only exception was her daily reunion with Finn. She didn’t want to talk, he knew her well enough by now to know that but collapsing on his bed and clinging to him all night was certainly very new. Something had changed, something big. And he was honestly scared to find out what it was.
DAY 1056
She’d confronted everyone. Several times. Everyone but him. He’d lied to her, she wasn’t sure why she was surprised. But she had to know, she needed to understand. So she opened the bond today. It had been some time since she’d gone to that blasted ship.
*****
She’d been off for weeks, coming to his room nightly, exhausted and angry. He’d tried talking to her the next day but Kay gave him the runaround. He probably should stop trying to contact Rey half naked. That night she’d just shut down again, falling into a restless sleep, watching her trying to fight something as she dreamed. So he’d started waiting for her, spending time in the hanger, never knowing when she’d arrive. She would usually grab Leia, ignoring him completely. Other days she would reach for Finn, finding him later in his room. But sometimes she would just look over and he knew, she just wanted to get away from them all.
So he waited, trying to joke around with Finn. Teasing him more like it. He kept sneaking peeks over at the mechanics. Guess they didn’t run into each other anymore. Rose and Finn had never had told him how they met, he’d been too busy with Leia. Or he’d forgotten, it had been awhile. The Falcon showed up but he knew something was wrong, he’d felt off for the last hour or so. The huge cockpit let him glimpse at the pilots usually but it was only Chewbacca today. The sinking pit in his stomach felt heavier by the moment.
Leia Organa never ran. She was a former princess for kriff’s sake. When he thought of the word dignified, her face sprang to mind. So her running into the hanger moments later just about terrified him. He seen this before, the Wookiee exiting the ship while carrying someone out. It had been bad when it was Finn. It was worse when he knew it was Rey. She was covered in a thin blanket, face hidden, he knew it was her. They’d both died before, but this was the first time he’d had to see it.