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"Why are you frowning?"
"I'm not."
"I can see that." Gareth took him by the chin gently and closely inspected his skipper's expression. It always made Harry smile, to see Gareth's investment and care, especially now, in this lovely morning. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." He smiled, trying to hide his yawn as he was still a bit sleepy, it must have been only five, ten minutes since he woke up. "I feel great."
"I'm glad to hear that." Gareth's hair and beard contrasted with the plain white pillow his head was laid on and Harry found that contrast mesmerizing. "Now you're smiling."
"Because you look so good," Harry mumbled quietly, blushing at his own compliment.
Gareth sneered, closing his eyes. "Not me, Harry. Average at my best." His fingers slowly crept closer to the other pillow, and to Kane's face. He loved those quiet, lazy mornings, with sun little by little filling the whole bedroom as the sun climbed on the sky outside of all the different hotel rooms they could see each other in.
"Then we can be just two average looking guys together."
"I wish."
Harry giggled, shifting closer to his manager's body which was radiating its usual welcoming warmth.
There was something soothing in Gareth Southgate, some old English charm of a real gentleman; Harry couldn't really tell. And it was present even now, in this lazy morning, in Gareth's city apartment. Thanks to this specific characteristic, Harry could forget about the whole world outside of this room and just simply enjoy the present moment, which was something he wasn't really used to. He could rarely enjoy a moment of clear mind and without any weight on his shoulders - Gareth could just make him feel free and happy and satisfied at any time.
That was so special about him. His sole presence could bring peace of mind to Harry's worn out mind. With the gaffer by his side, his heartbeat was calm, his mind was free of worries, and every day reminded him of summer. Gareth really was magic when it came to this, and Harry had to laugh when he read all the articles about how important changes Southgate made as a manager, how he brought a new style of management into the team, and what a good influence he had at the young players.
It was all true, after all.
"Thank you for this weekend," he mumbled, feeling Gareth's stubble rub against his forehead as Gareth pulled him into an embrace and let him rest his head on his shoulder.
"Anytime, Harry. Anytime."
"I wish we could be together more."
"Don't you think Poch would get jealous?"
The manager's fingers found their way in Harry's blonde hair, messy from the restless night.
"I'm so sorry about it," Harry whispered, with eyes closed. He could actually feel Gareth's pulse. "I'm a horrible person - "
"It's not about that." Gareth's long, slender fingers felt so nifty and tender against Harry's scalp, and he couldn't get enough of that feeling of soft scratching and rub on his skin. "Harry, I'm not the one to judge."
"But you can see what kind of a person I am - "
"It's still a nice thought that you cheat on him with me. I wouldn't like it the other way round."
"Really?"
"Harry. I'm just joking. I would never dare to tell you how to live your life. It's up to you."
Harry exhaled, nuzzling into Gareth's neck. "You're so good to me."
"I'm just surprised you can stand this all. You know - me and Pochettino - swooning over you. It's just so hard to not love you."
"Really?"
"Really."
Southgate got up on his elbows, dragging an annoyed moan from Harry as he made him move a little on his chest. "You're so precious, so young, so vulnerable, Harry - it still amazes me how you can let two old men dictate your life."
"It's not like that - "
"We're still the ones dictating your life. And I feel ashamed of that - I shouldn't be doing that, Harry, I know that - it's just so complicated, this whole situation."
"Let's not talk about it then," Harry mumbled, nuzzling into the older man's neck.
"But I really mean what I said, Harry."
"I know." Harry placed his hand on the older man's chest demandingly, feeling the heartbeat against his palm. He was silent for a moment and then sighed. "I think about it all the time - "
"About what exactly?"
"About what I'm doing."
"Like - ?"
"Like this - " There was an audible sadness in his voice, and he pulled away a little to be able to speak freely and not just mumble the words against the skin of Gareth's neck. "I've never thought of myself as a cheater - but now - "
"Harry, I don't think of you as a cheater."
"But I am."
His voice was so hauntingly persuasive Gareth had to see his expression, make sure it wasn't as painfully filled with worry and sadness as the voice. "Harry - "
Kane avoided his look; all of sudden, he seemed to be extremely interested in the pattern of the blanket.
"Harry. Look at me." He actually had to grab Harry's chin and turn his head to stop him from gazing at the sheet. "If you don't feel like this is okay - if you don't want to do this anymore - "
"No! No, no, I would rather - " He wanted to say 'die' but in the middle of the sentence, he stopped himself, realizing how pathetic it would sound. " - twist my both ankles - "
Gareth smirked but the curl of his lips was gone in a moment. "I don't want to see you like this. I want to see you smiling, laughing, giggling, in that playful mood, happy and free of all worries - like yesterday."
"Yeah - "
"The afternoon, that was good, eh? The sun, the park, just the two of us - " He pulled Harry closer to his chest again and put his fingers on his scalp, rubbing it gently in circles. "A nice spring walk in nature - You looked so happy and relaxed there."
"I was."
"And now?"
Harry exhaled and placed a small innocent kiss on Gareth's skin that felt so comforting under his head. "I think about other things too much - ."
Gareth took a firmer grab of the blond hair and with the other hand, he traced a line under Harry's chin and down to the neck with his fingers. "Can I help you with that?"
There was no way of saying no to this.