Work Text:
Hello, worthless Resistance scum. The Great One is in his kingdom, planning, and I, as the actual antagonist of the spin-offs, took his place. Yeah, I know I am a Skywalker and a Solo, but no need to pity me for my horrid crimes.
I! AM! EVIL! GOT IT??? GOOD!
Whoops, I broke some computers again. I am the poor, innocent Ben Solo, and you are all nobodies, but not to me. What do you mean, this is no compliment?
Anyway, you have to answer these questions or I feed you to the Rancor that's right under you. And... don't attack me, because I have the Force. The first questions are worth 3 points.
Showtime!
1: In which story am I not present?
A. A Sweet Failure
B. It doesn't matter what you are
C. The fall of the Jedi
2: Who kills the Mary Sue in Geonosis?
A. Me!
B. Rey
C. THE TRAITOR!
3: Who gets killed by me in the alternate Dark ending?
A. Rey
B. Poe
C. Wedge
4: What's the name of the first Stormtrooper that blasted Finn helped defect?
A. Rick
B. Kreia
C. Mecc
5: In which planet do I beat the Scavenger and her boyfriend?
A. Naboo
B. Kamino
C. Geonosis
Good, Resistance scum, good. Let's try something harder. But the rewards are bigger, four points!
6: Who is the main villain of "It doesn't matter what you are"?
A. Ganondorf
B. Kathleen
C. Me
7: Who wins in the drinking game after my demise?
A. Rey
B. Finn
C. Draw
8: What's the name of the disgusting Sue of Geonosis?
A. Enoby
B. Ivory
C. Ruby
9: In which story is Rose present?
A. Defenders of the Dimensions
B. Dark Victory
C. A Sweet Failure
10: And Han Solo, my horrible, deadbeat father who is not the real victim of his murder because I deserve much more sympathy for my atrocities?
A. A Sweet Failure
B. Rebuild
C. The fall of the Jedi
Hmmm... pretty good, but according to this manual with these horrible letters, I have to put even harder questions, but with larger rewards. These questions are worth five points... if you can answer them.
11: Who raced in the Fathier race of the New Republic?
A. Poe
B. Connix
C. Jessika
12: Which Resistance member puts up the best fight in our well-deserved final victory?
A. Link
B. Finn
C. Poe
13: What's Kathleen's weapon of choice?
A: A blaster
B: A tazer
C: A flamethrower
14: Apart from me, is anybody else the main villain in "The fall of the Jedi"?
A: Yes, Snoke.
B: No, only me.
C: Yes, Sidious.
15: Who was the wife of Luke Skywalker?
A: Maz Kanata
B: Mon Mothma
C: Mara Jade
That is the quiz!
0-15: Rancor food. Read the series and then try again.
16-30: Nice try, Resistance scum, but you could do better. Still fed to the beast, but you will only lose some parts since the Supreme Leader is kind.
31-45: Wow, that was a close one! You escaped being food, but you can still do better!
46-60: I don't think I spotted you in the battlefield. You deserve to be mentioned for your success and a hint for the boss' Tower, which is harder.