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Cassian and a couple of the Team Bravo members help me load up the stolen ship. I guess everyone was listening when he said 'grab anything that's not nailed down', cause there's a lot of gear. Rocket launchers, a few grenades, and a crap ton of blasters. (Thing is, half of 'em aren't charged)
I glance around, looking for Cassian, and spot him on the other side of the hangar struggling with a large coil of wire. I jog over to help him.
Grabbing a handhold to help pull, I look him straight in the eyes. "Thank you." I hope I put a lot of unsaid things into those two words. We've been through so much together in these past few days, and he stayed, even when it went wrong. He'd told me 'Welcome home', and I think he meant it.
Cassian smiles at me in answer, his face warm and open. I guess we're family now. It feels surprisingly good.
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Once we finally drag the (very heavy) wire into the ship and everything else is loaded, I dart into the cockpit to shut the cargo hold. We've been here way longer than we should, almost a half hour after the meeting. It's time to go.
My heart sinks in my chest as that realization crosses my mind. That's it. I'm going on a mission to the other side of the galaxy, in a stolen ship, with a ragtag bunch of guys I've never met half of. I could die. I probably will die.
And Leia still has no idea how much I love her.
Since I was too young to remember, I'd lived for the stolen moments when I heard her laugh, saw her eyes light up, felt her hand entangle with mine as she gasped for breath. I never knew if she felt the same, but she'd been there for me in a way no one my age ever had, and that had been enough. Now, though? It's been six years. Any spark we might have had is smoldering to ashes.
I need to find her. Just once more, I need to feel her body against mine and drown, if only for a moment, in those fiery brown eyes. There's time for that after you make sure we don't all get blown up, I try to convince myself.
That's right. Try to think like Cassian. Keep your eyes on the bigger picture, Jyn.
I do try, but it's nearly impossible. I'm internally debating how effective it would be to pretend I needed a tampon when Cassian comes out of the ship and approaches me, looking annoyed.
"Can you find Kay-Tu?" he asks me. "Droid said he'd be here five damn minutes ago. Should have known better."
I nod, my heart suddenly putting itself back together and shooting hope and anticipation through my body. I must have looked way too happy, because Cassian stared for a moment before I arranged my features into a more appropriate expression.
"Thanks," he says, before running back to check on Bodhi. I'm too happy to really register anything as I sprint back into the base. My boots thud quickly against the cement. I head down, toward the control room, and clear an entire flight of stairs. My hips jar with the impact, and I pause, waiting for the pain to pass. Then I hesitate. I have no idea where she would be. Wait, I do know this. Leia was her fathers intern. She has to be in her dads office.
I head to Bail Organa's office first, praying Leia's there. I can't believe I never realized how much I miss her.
Finally, I reach Bail's office. I punch the combo I'm surprised to remember into the panel. The door slides open, and a young woman with brown braids is on the other side, head down, storming out. She strides into me without even realizing it.
"Oh, sh-" she grumbles, grabbing the door jamb to steady herself. Then her gaze rises to meet mine, and her eyes widen. I know those eyes, I could be half dead and I'd know them.
It's Leia.
And she's in my arms, and we're both crying and laughing at the same time. "Jyn," she squeezes me tighter, " I missed you."
"Me too."
"Enough with the quiet, mopey look. Knowing you there's somewhere you just were and somewhere you gotta be." She reaches up to brush my bangs out of my face. I realize I'm biting my lip and stop. "Well? Where were you?"
I suppress a smile. She's as intense as I remember. My smirk fades, though when I remember what I was up to all those years we were apart. "Saw dumped me," I tell her flatly.
Thanks a lot, Saw, for this lovely reunion with my crush. Except, you're the reason we were apart in the first place!
I have to nip that train of thought in the bud, though. Otherwise I'll spiral into the tunnel of darkness I've kept locked for years, and I don't think I wil ever make it out.
Leia touches my face, bringing me back to reality. She traces my scars from Wobani with her tiny, delicate hands. Her face is so concerned. And still so cute. There's a tiny crease between her eyebrows, and her long nose is slightly freckled.
"Bastard," she scowls, "Dad always hated him."
"Uh, Saw and Bail were always bitching about each other. Remember I had to leave that meeting early because your dad kicked Saw out?"
" Well, Saw had called him 'a weak-assed idiot who has no business in a galaxy-wide war'."
I smirk. "Yeah, I won't argue on Saw's behalf. That was rude. And.. He's dead."
Leia squeezes my hand. She understands my complicated relationship with Saw.
"Who ended up in command of this thing?" I ask, before Saw Gerrera starts to dominate the conversation.
"The lady from Chandrila, Mon Mothma, you remember her?"
I do remember her, and I nod appreciatively. I'd been a little scared of the answer, staying far away from all related to the Rebel Alliance since I was abandoned, but Mon was a woman I really respected. She never treated me like I was useless and annoying, answering all my eager young questions, and even when all the other leaders were reduced to screaming like idiots at each other, Mon was the one to rally them back together.
Leia takes a deep breath. "Were you at that meeting?"
"Yeeah," I nod, "I was the one who yelled at them all."
She smiles smugly. "Thought so, my dad wouldn't let me come, but he just commed me for a 'dangerous top secret mission'. Jyn, what kind of trouble did you get into now?"
I smile too, ready to shoot a one liner, but my comlink fucking rings. It's Cassian.
"Jyn, kay-tu's here, you ready?" his voice crackles through.
No, I'm not ready. I want to stay here with Leia till the end of time. But I have to be. Because the end of time will come a hell of a lot sooner if I'm not.
I open my mouth, not sure what'll come out but needing to say something, but Leia holds up her hand. Her eyes are blazing.
"It's okay, I have to go too. But we will see each other again. The Force is with us." She opens one of the pouches on her hips and pulls out a datapad. "Mon told me to show this to you, too, when I saw you." She pauses and smiles, pulling up a document and handing it to me.
I quickly scan its contents. It's a letter, something about the apprentice legislature Leia joined right around when I became a loner. But at the bottom is something more personal.
Don't allow anyone to push you from your path. Love who you are, and if you don't, find the strength to start over.
Leia, Jyn, you are the future of the rebellion and our galaxy needs you. Never stop fighting. Your fire is a gift.
I look up at her, not quite sure what to make of it. Honestly, I'm surprised Mon gave that much of a damn about me, even if it was super cliché, seeing how Saw was back then.
She takes the datapad and shoves it in her pocket, then throws her arms around me one last-no, it WON'T be the last time- and leans her head on mine. We stay like that for a millisecond. "I love you," she says, her fiery eyes meeting mine as we pull away, and a tingling warmth spreads throughout me.
I say the first thing that comes to mind.
"I know."
....And immediately kick myself for saying the stupidest thing ever in the best moment of my life.
But Leia smiles, and so do I. My flecked green eyes on her burning brown ones. A silent pact to return.
And as I jog back to the ship, I know I won't let this be the end. Rogue one will avenge everyone the Death Star killed and bring the fight to them. And knowing Leia, she won't let herself fail either. It's not like rebel command is gonna help anyone. Maybe Mon Mothma was right. The galaxy fucking needs our fire. And dammit, we're going to let the Empire burn.