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"Come on! We need an extra waitress tonight, and I guarantee it pays at least three times the amount of Darumaya," Kanae said, pointing a finger at Kyoko. Kyoko wrung her hands. She did need the money. Despite the steady work she had been getting from LME and Darumaya, she found that the cosmetics and clothes she needed to stand out cost real money. She wasn't saving much now, and while that wasn't absolutely necessary, it made her feel uneasy. I can't rely on Taisho and Okami's generosity forever. I need to start getting on my own feet in case I need to move. If her career went the way she wanted it, eventually she would need to live somewhere secure, and that wouldn't be cheap. Less so if I had a roommate...Moko! No, Kyoko, keep it together! First, money for clothes so I can keep getting jobs!
"What will it involve?" Kyoko asked carefully. She didn't judge Kanae for her side job, but she didn't know if she'd be capable of playing someone's daughter or girlfriend on the spot.
"The same thing you do regularly - serve drinks, make chit-chat with customers, make sure they don't get too sloppy and look good doing it," Kanae said, flipping her hair. "This is just for a more elite clientele. They come to this club explicitly for privacy. They get a soundproof room for five or fewer, and someone to bring them drinks. The key is discretion. Most people use pseudonyms to book, or wear disguises. If you recognize the guests, don't say anything unless they bring it up. Don't tell the other hosts who it is, but courtesy dictates that if you know something about the guests that might help, give them a heads-up. Like, are they chatty, or quiet? Any subjects that they are sensitive about? Are they married, but not there with their spouse? That kind of stuff."
Kyoko nodded. It didn't sound like too bad of a job for one night. And that much money, for just a few hours? She could afford a new pair of high-quality boots with that amount. "Okay, I'll do it! Thank you so much, Moko-san!" She opened her arms and lunged at Kanae to hug her. Kanae skittered away.
"STOP! Offer rescinded!"
"MOKO?!" she whined in despair.
"FINE! Club opens at eight, be there by six-thirty for orientation! Do good, and they may call you back again. I'll text you the details."
***
"Kyoko Mogami, it's nice to meet you! I'm Reinka Aizan, Kotonami-san told me all about you!" The blonde woman held her and out and flashed a big smile. Her dark skin made her perfectly white teeth seem even brighter. "Kotonami tells me you have experience in the service industry before?"
"Yes!" Kyoko said. "I have experience at a ryokan as well as at a restaurant," she added with a bow.
"Excellent!" Aizan said. She gave Kyoko a look up and down. "Very good, a nice and classic outfit," she said. Kyoko was wearing a pair of sandals with a small heel, a dark skirt that skimmed above the knee, a sleeveless white button up, and flower patterned scarf. "However," Aizan untied the scarf and tied it low around her waist. "And...can you undo a few buttons? If you're comfortable?"
Kyoko thought that request might come when she chose this outfit - she'd never felt that she'd had any sort of cleavage worth putting on display, but this was just another role she could play, so what was there to be shy about? She undid the first two buttons.
"Perfect!" Aizan exclaimed. "Kotonami gave you the basic rundown, but the most important thing is that we take care of our customers. We afford them privacy and a safe place to relax. We don't care about their names or their fame. We make sure they're drinking responsibly and send them home if it's getting too much. They may not be able to hear other customers, but we have our ways of checking in on them discreetly. Sometimes, they want to talk to us. Don't get too elaborate if they ask for advice. We're not here to judge, we're just here to let them vent. A lot of times, people don't want opinions, they just want someone to listen."
"Right!" Kyoko said.
"And, the most important thing..." Aizan pulled a box out from behind the counter. "Is we don't use our own names while working, so we wear fake name tags. So sort through these and pick out your favorite!"
"Yay!" Kyoko said, taking the box and rifling through the tags. They ranged from the traditional to the abstract, but she settled on Titania. "Queen of the fairies!" she exclaimed, raising the name tag in the air. She then shrunk once she realized she did that in public, hoping that Kanae didn't hear that.
Aizan laughed. "That's one of my favorites too!" She fished out a different name tag. "But tonight, call me Gwenivar," she winked at Kyoko.
***
The evening proceeding well, despite being thrown off a few times when she thought she recognized a customer. She was able to right herself by reminding herself that tonight, she was the queen of the fairies, holding court for all who have grievances. She would be poised and graceful, and listen with an impartial ear. All would speak of her warm smile and welcoming presence!
After her third client had departed, Kyoko went back to the break room to get her next assignment. "Great work, Kyoko!" Aizan said, giving her a thumbs-up. "Take a break, I don't want you to get burnt out. Take twenty, and I'll scope you out a good customer."
Aizan left the room as another waitress entered the room. Her name tag read "Chidorita", and her flowing brown hair and floral printed dress seemed to compliment the cute name perfectly. "First shift?" she asked, smiling at Kyoko. "You're Kotonami-san's friend, right?"
Kyoko's heart leaped. People know me as Moko-san's friend? THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! "I sure am! Nice to meet you!"
"Chidorita" smiled. "I'm Akira. You're an actress, right? Can you take a peek and see if you recognize my next customer? Any tips? I can't get a read." She waved Kyoko over to the far wall to slide back a small panel. It revealed a tinted window peeking into next room - one of the client's booths. "This is a one-way window - he can't see you. But, he's been very quiet, and he's here alone. He'd clearly been drinking beforehand, which generally means they're chatty...but I'm getting nothing." She gestured to the window.
Kyoko peered in the window and froze. Cain Heel?! No, it can't be! It looked like Cain at least, similar clothing, dark makeup, and an expression that could stop someone's heart. But he doesn't exist anymore! There's no REASON for him to exist! At the very least, Setsu should know if nii-san were to - NO! STOP! You're Titania!
He couldn't have booked under that name, especially since the identity of 'Actor X' had to remained a secret. It is a decent disguise for Ren Tsugura. At least, no one could ever mistake the two. But why, why would Tsugura be in a place like this, alone and already drunk? Is...is Cain's darkness taking him over again? She steeled her face and turned back to Akira.
"Maybe? If it's who I think he is...he's an extremely private person. With deep sadness. So I'm not surprised he's not talking but...he's generally not the type to do this in public. So...he can't just plan on being quiet. There's a reason he's in public. I'm sure of it." Kyoko furrowed her brow. "Sorry, that can't be helpful."
Akira smiled. "Actually, it does! That tells me he can't stomach being alone right now, not in his own home. Thanks!" She closed the panel and left with a wave.
Kyoko's insides twisted. She shouldn't listen in on Tsuruga's booth, especially since he was trying to find privacy, but this wasn't like him at all. How is he here, like that?! She went to the booth chart hanging on the wall. The chart listed which customers were in what booths, and she located the one next to the break room. Abel. He chose the name Abel? That's clearly a Bible reference, the brother of Cain, right? That has to be Ren!
Eavesdropping would be a major invasion of his privacy, but Akira's words still rang in her ears. He can't stomach being alone right now. But he also clearly couldn't be with anyone else. But...it is my responsibility to make sure customers are okay. We need to ensure their safety. She slid open the panel slightly.
"Ready for another one, Abel?" Chidorita asked, pouring another glass of whiskey from the bottle on her tray.
Abel took the drink and scoffed. "Abel? What a terrible pseudonym. You know that's not my real name, right?"
Chidorita shrugged. "Do I look like a "Chidorita" to you? Don't really care about names, honestly. We're all about privacy here. I'm here to ease your burden with a drink and a kind word."
He took a pensive drink. "I don't think I can talk to you about my problems."
Gah! This is her job, ease up! Kyoko shook her head. It's Cain coming out. There's a reason he picked Cain.
Chidorita shrugged. "You don't have to talk to me. Some people find solace in just speaking out loud. Like how the religious confess in a church. Just speaking the words can make a difference." She made his drink a double. "How about this? I'll give you thirty minutes alone with this drink. Speak whatever peace you need to, and when I'm back, we can talk about another drink, or just talk."
Abel nodded.
Chidorita left and Abel slumped in his seat, taking another drink. He sighed. "What am I doing? I...should not be here. But I couldn't stay at home. I couldn't be alone with Ren Tsugura. He's...useless."
What?!
"He's never there for her the way she needs him. I want...I want to go back. I want to be Cain again." He took a drink. "At least Cain could be there for Setsu. He could spoil her. He could protect her. And even if he could never...go farther than that...it would be enough. I could live with that." He rubbed a spot on his neck as if trying to conjure a memory.
Kyoko's heart pounded. That's the spot where I, no, Setsu did...He's...talking about me?! How could Ren Tsugura get this worked up over someone like me?! Isn't he already with Kimiko?
But there he was, reminiscing about the time where she had pinned him down and marked him as hers. No, Setsu did that to Cain! She did...right?
"That's a lie. I...that's not enough. Setsu isn't really Kyoko. I...I need to be Corn. Corn is who she can be honest with. She confides in him. She trusts him with her heart. She talks with him like an equal. He...can call her Kyoko-chan. He...can kiss her."
Her heart stopped. If any piece of her moved, the illusion would be shattered. Wouldn't it?
He took a long drink. "What did I do after her mother publicly disowned her? Sit on my ass and fret? At least Fuwa went to her." He hung his head. "And if I was Corn that night, she would have talked to me. She would have trusted me. But I was Ren. And Ren has treated her so poorly that she'd never trust him like that. Absolutely useless. I would have been better off being Fuwa than myself that night."
Ren, no!
"This is my curse. To love, and not be loved in return. For everything, I've done. For being so cruel to the woman I've fallen in love with."
I'm going to be fired she thought as she closed the panel. Her body moved as if on its own because her mind oscillated between two thoughts: Ren Tsugura is in love with me and Ren Tsugura is desperately wrong. She left the break room and slid open the door to his booth. He was hunched over, clutching his drink.
She slid the door shut.
His head jerked upwards, and when he recognized her, his eyes went wide. As she stood there, frozen, his eyes began to water as he accepted his fate, to be tortured by this ghost. It made tears brim at Kyoko's eyes. Ren finally recognized she was real, and when she saw that recognition, she sunk to her knees and bowed her head.
Staring at her hands, she said, "I am so sorry for invading your privacy. But you are extremely wrong and I can't let you keep thinking these thoughts. Thinking that you're useless." She shook her head. "That night....the reason I didn't talk about my mother is...I was a zombie. A husk shambling through Tokyo. And somehow, you found me. You found me and held me, and I came back to life. I was whole. And nothing could matter that much if Ren Tsugura was there for me. So when I didn't say anything...I was just so happy to see you. Neither Sho nor Corn could not have done that. Just taken away my pain away with their presence."
She heard his drink set on the table, but she didn't dare look up.
"Cain is cold. Cain can't enjoy things like Ren can. Cain's never captivated hearts with his honest words. He's never lifted a struggling actor to find the truth of their performance. Cain isn't forgiving.
"So you can't say things like that. You can't possibly be cursed when I love you so much. I vowed to never love again, and you still found a way to touch my heart. To make it leap when you enter a room. To make me break my promise of never actually acting on my feelings." Tears started falling from her eyes as she realized that she had been causing him pain to not tell her how she felt. She hated herself for that.
She heard his knees hit the ground, so she thought he fell from his chair. She looked up. He had actually knelt in front of her, still staring at her as if he didn't quite believe what was happening. He reached out and touched her cheeks. His eyes filled with wonder. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding. He kissed her.
His lips were soft against hers, as she was still tense with disbelief. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, but something else, something it took a moment for her to recognize - his body wash. She knew that because she had used his shower before. Walked in on him bathing, two times. Nothing could make it clearer to her that this was really Ren Tsugura kissing her. He was gentle and patient. The kiss was a question posed to her. She answered it by wrapping her fingers in his hair and kissing him back.
He wrapped his other arm around her back to pull her in closer, his kiss becoming more insistent. Her head was spinning. What am I doing? This can't be real. She knew she couldn't stop though - she couldn't let him go. They had done this for so long - pull each other close, only to push away. Her heart couldn't take it if she pushed him away again. Not after she'd tasted his lips. Not after his words echoed through her mind. She grabbed the front of his shirt as an anchor. His hand ran down her back, and it sent a shiver through her. He deepened his kiss in response to quell it.
She almost shrieked when she heard a soft tap on the door. "Abel? Is everything okay? I thought I heard something, did you fall?"
They parted, but he still kept his arm wrapped around her as he said, "I'm fine! Actually...could you call me a cab?"
"Not a problem, dear, give me a minute! And I'll bring you some water."
After a beat, Ren returned his gaze to her and said, "Can you...come over, after your shift? Please." The sincerity in his voice told her he wanted to keep talking.
She nodded, barely trusting her voice. "I will," she whispered. "I'm done at one. I'll come straight over." She stood, realizing she needed to sneak out of there now, but Ren was watching her, confused. She leaned over and kissed him again, a quick peck on the lips that said I'll see you soon. It was enough to calm him, so she slid out the door and ran back to the break room, her head spinning so much she thought she'd topple over.
***
She worked the rest of her shift not as Titania, but Kyoko-in-love. It was different from the Kyoko-in-love-with-Sho, because this Kyoko was walking on eggshells. Will he remember what he said after he drank that much? Will he hate me for eavesdropping? She finished her shift satisfactorily. Aizan handed her an envelope of cash, saying, "You did well for your first time! The second half of the night was a little rough, but this job is more draining than most service work. I'll be sure to call you again if I need more help!"
The journey to Ren's house was one her body knew well. Her mind could focus on other things. She vowed to herself that it'd be okay if he didn't remember what he'd said, or what they'd done. It'll be enough. As long as he doesn't hate me, I can cling to this one moment. Even if he is with Kimiko, at least a part of him loves me.
When she went to knock on the door, it swung open. She panicked and burst through the door. "Ren!" she exclaimed before she found him in his boxers, sleeping on the couch. She closed the door behind her as she took in the scene - the Cain Heel clothes were scattered around the room. She found a rag in the kitchen covered with black makeup sitting next to a half-empty water glass. The chaos filled her with relief. He was trying to be Ren again. He just drifted off in the process. She washed the glass and rinsed out the rag, hoping the makeup wouldn't stain. She picked up the clothes and took them to his bedroom, throwing them in the clothes hamper. She grabbed a blanket and a pillow off his bed. She covered him with the blanket but realized he already had a pillow. It was the sheep she had given him for his birthday. She nearly cried again.
Instead, she found a spot on the floor and laid down, curling up with the pillow she had taken from his bed. She knew she'd be chided in the morning for not taking a bed, but she couldn't bring herself to sleep in a different room than him. Not tonight. He looks so peaceful she thought as she drifted off.
She woke to the smell of coffee. She bolted up from her position on the floor to see Ren, hair wet and already dressed in a light blue long-sleeve shirt and jeans, pouring coffee into a mug.
He smiled at her and said, "Good morning, sleepy head." It was a lazy smile that reached his eyes. He was still tired, clearly, but not in as bad of shape as she had anticipated.
She scowled at him. "You should be resting! I was going to make you breakfast."
He smiled as he grabbed the two mugs and walked over to the couch. "It's only coffee. I'm not a great cook so I wasn't going to risk it." He offered her a mug. She took it, watching him intently. Does he remember?
He sat on the couch and said, "I didn't know you worked at that club."
She looked down shyly. "I don't normally. Last night was my first night, and I was just filling in for a girl who was sick. I was just trying to earn some extra cash."
He buried his face in his hand and chuckled to himself. Kyoko scowled at him until he said, "No, I'm sorry. It's just...of course the one night I go, you end up working there. That seemed about right." He looked up and asked, "Did you need extra money? Are you not getting enough work from LME?"
"It's not that!" she exclaimed. "It's just...well I wanted to upgrade my wardrobe so I make sure I stand out and keep getting work."
He nodded. "That makes sense. Well, let me buy you some new clothes then."
"WHAT?!" As she recoiled, coffee sloshed out of her mug and on to the table. "I'm so sorry!"
He laughed again and went back to the kitchen, grabbing a clean rag. "Isn't that something that people in love do? Buy each other nice things, especially if it'll help their career?"
She remained positively statue-like while Ren came to her side and mopped up the spill. He remembers?! And he acknowledges it. And he's fine with it. And he's being so CASUAL about it?!
He turned to her and furrowed his brow. "Did I say something strange? What's wrong?"
"It's just! Uh...I didn't...I didn't know if you'd remember. Last night, you were..."
He sat next to her and crossed his legs. "A mess. I know. I did my best to sober up on the way home, and I repeated what happened over and over again in my head so I wouldn't forget. I wanted to talk to you when you got here but...sorry. "
"No, it's okay!" She touched his arm before she realized what she was doing, and it sent a shock through her. Is this some sort of secret? When two people say they love each other, they can reach out without thinking? As if it's a natural thing to do? "I'm just glad you're feeling okay."
He grimaced a little bit. "I do have a bit of a headache, but it's nothing." He put his hand on the one of hers that was touched his arm. "It's nothing compared to the relief I feel. Being honest, for once." That's what she saw in his eyes - relief. A curse lifted. He loved her and she loved him. Could I have lifted it sooner if I was just honest?
She wanted to kiss him again, an apology for her deception. But something was still nagging at her. She blushed furiously when she said. "But Kimiko kept talking about the pinky ring you gave her years ago. I thought you two were in love."
She might as well have smacked him in the head with a hammer. His eyes went wide as he racked his brain, and finally, he shook his head. "We were close once. She was struggling, and I thought a gift like that on White Day would help her. Gifts are the logical way of expressing affection for someone...right? But that's not love. Not really." He tightened his grip on her hand but stared at the table. "Love is madness. It's hating Sho Fuwa for consuming you in hate, and then hating it again when you get along with him. Because that means you could fall for him again."
"Never!" she spat. "He's more like...I don't know. An annoying brother. As much as I hate to admit it, he's the reason I'm here today so I can't just...cut him out."
He nodded to the table. "I understand. On an intellectual level, I understand. But like I said, it's the same madness that drove me to tease you and bully you, to try and drive you away. The madness that sees a bright light and tries to hide from it."
"It's not like I made it easy to like me at first," she admitted. "I already hated you because Sho did. And brought my ill-intentions into your passion. And I still strove to impress you. I resented the power you had over me. How you could scare me and intrigue me at the same time. So when we finally had a good relationship, you as my senpai...I couldn't risk it." She choked. She still had so much more to say, but she couldn't voice her fears anymore. Because as much as he was right there, they still stared at her outside of that door. As if she ruined it all right here, and they'd break it down and consume her.
He finally looked up at her. "That's over now. There's no risk. I love you, no matter what."
The surge consumed her again. She almost chuckled. "You can't keep saying things like that. This doesn't feel real, and Tsugura-san saying things like that to me makes me believe it less."
"Not that," he whispered, leaning into her. "Please call me Ren."
"Ren," she breathed, and in that instant, he kissed her again. They parted, out of breath, their foreheads still touching.
"Can I...call you Kyoko? My Kyoko?"
Her heart stopped as she flashed back to his fever, so long ago. But this time, he wasn't in a daze, looking for the person taking care of him. He was lucid, and couldn't be more present than he was now.
"Yes. Please."
His hand found her cheek as he said, "My Kyoko," tasting even syllable. She wanted to kiss him again, but she could only feel a shiver run through her.
"So...does that mean I can take my Kyoko shopping today?"
She leaned back and stared at him. Her normal ability to turn on her rage full-force failed her, so she looked more shocked than anything. He gave her a mischievous grin. "I'm actually free today, so whenever you have free time, I'm yours."
Tricky bastard! She had nearly geared up her outrage, but I'm yours threw her off again and made her lose her breath. "I - I actually am only working at Darumaya this evening, so I'm free today as well. But you're not buying me clothes!"
He gave her a hurt look.
"No! You don't get to use Cain's logic!" She could see that old argument brewing in his eyes. "And...and I'm still rattled. My head's spinning. I'm still not able to process...that this is real. You buying me things is...too fast." She took a deep breath. "You can come with me shopping. I have my own money, I earned it last night!"
He negotiated the look down to a pout. She sighed and said, "And you can buy me lunch."
He grinned, pulling out his phone. "I'll make a reservation!"
"No reservations! We're eating at a diner, or maybe even a food cart!"
He lowered his phone. "Very well. And...I think I understand. This is a lot...and you're still in high school." He gripped his phone. "I promise. We'll go as slow as we have to. That...that's nothing, now that we both know we love each other."
"Ren..."
"I've never been in love before. I've dated, yes. But none of those were...none of them were close to this. So I promise, I'll do my best. But you have to tell me, please. Let me know if I'm doing something wrong."
Her face burned. But she just wanted him to smile again. "Well...you're starting off poorly, making promises on an empty stomach. I'm going to make breakfast."
He chuckled. "At least let me help you."
She gave him a look up and down. "You, my sous chef? Hm...you can do some chopping, Tsugu - I mean, Ren."