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Bucky had tried to ignore it. He remembered it clearly, just like he remembered every life he had taken during his period of being the Winter Soldier. He remembered, but he didn't want to act upon the realization.
He knew, deep down, he wouldn't be a good father. He knew that leaving the kid out of it would be better than fixing things.
Because Bucky remembers it clearly.
He remembers the woman.
He remembers that night.
He remembers being told.
"You're a father."
"I'm The Winter Soldier."
Like it really made a difference.
*
Bucky tried to ignore it as he got his life back in order. He found a tiny, cheap apartment. A shitty part-time job at a gas station.
He tried to ignore it, even when he knew the mother had died when the kid was little and now the kid would be twelve and somewhere in the foster system.
He tried to ignore it, but one day, a kid walked into the gas station.
"Excuse me, sir," the girl squeaked.
"Yes?" Bucky said, turning to face the young girl. She must've been nine-years-old.
"Do you have any change you could spare? My brother- My foster brother- is very sick and my foster father won't pay for the medicine. Even just a quarter could go a long way," the little girl said, eyes wide and glassy as she stared up at Bucky.
Bucky couldn't help but pull out his wallet and give the girl all the money he had. So, what if he had to skip a few days of meals? These kids need the money and he'll be damned if he doesn't help.
The girl almost cried with joy.
Bucky tried to ignore it, but there was a sinking feeling in his chest and he just couldn't let it go.
What if his kid was the one who was dying? What if his kid had an incompetent foster parent? What if his kid was suffering because of Bucky's actions as the Winter Soldier?
Bucky made a decision.
He'd find the kid and if it was good, he wouldn't interfere.
*
It wasn't good.
It wasn't good at all.
Little Peter Parker (having taken the name of his mother) wasn't doing well at all.
Bucky tried to ignore it. He really did.
But the moment he saw Peter's Bambi eyes widening with hope as he looked at Bucky, he knew he couldn't ignore it any longer.
*
Bucky's apartment isn't big, not in the slightest.
It's two rooms, the main room and the tiny bathroom. His living room is where his bed is and it's right next to his small kitchen, only enough room for a mini fridge and a microwave plus storage space.
It's small, too small to be considered cozy, and it's nearly impossible for Bucky to even get custody of the kid, but he manages.
The way the kid's eyes light up with hope when Bucky tells him the news is enough to make the whole ordeal worth it.
*
"Dad?" Peter calls out, tripping over an uneven floorboard as he makes his way into the kitchen. It's been about two years and it's been the best two years of both their lives.
"Hey, kiddo. Breakfast?" Bucky suggests, opening their mini fridge. It's scarce. Bucky's been trying to save up for a bigger apartment. One that Peter will have his own bedroom, not just a curtained off section of the living room, so their spending budget has gotten very small.
Peter lights up in a grin as Bucky tosses him an apple from the fridge.
"Thanks, Dad! I've got a shift after school so I'll be home around seven, okay?" he says, tugging a sweater over his head before hefting his backpack over his shoulder.
"Sounds good, kid. Don't overwork yourself. I'll be at work all day, but I'll be home for dinner at eight. Do your homework when you get home, no patrolling until after dinner. I have a shift at the bar later tonight, though. Curfew's at one," Bucky informs him.
Peter has a job at a department store, Bucky has a job in retail and another at a bar. The three jobs together are helping with their food supplies and savings, but it's still a long time coming.
"I'll see you tonight," Peter says, smiling brightly and hugging his dad tightly.
"See you tonight, kiddo," Bucky repeats, pressing a kiss against Peter's forehead before letting him go off to school.
*
Peter gets home from his shift, expecting to find the apartment empty, but instead, there's a man standing in the kitchen. A stranger.
"Who are you?" Peter demands, clenching his fists and squaring his shoulders.
He was born in the states so his first language is English, in the past two years of living in Bucharest with his father, he's become fluent in Romanian, but he feels more confident speaking English. It's still his language of choice.
"Who are you?" the man says, eyes narrowing.
Peter immediately recognizes him as Captain America when he turns around.
"What are you doing here? What do you want?" Peter asks, eyes widening with worry. If Captain America is in his kitchen, it must not be something good.
"I asked you a question," Steve says, voice stern as he looks down at the teenager. He's frozen in the kitchen, staring at the kid. He looks vaguely familiar, but Steve knows he's never seen him before.
The kid's eyebrows furrow and he sticks out his small hand. "I'm, um, I'm Peter, sir. I'm Peter Parker-Barnes, sir."
"You're... Shit, are you Bucky's kid?" Steve asks, pointing an accusing finger at the teenager. Peter takes a nervous step backward and runs straight into someone's body.
A metal arm appears out of nowhere and Peter instantly relaxes, knowing he'll be safe with his dad here. He's pushed behind Bucky's body, a protective barrier between him and Steve.
"Do you know me?"
Bucky glances over the superhero getup with a nod. "You're Steve. I read about you in a museum."
"I know you're nervous... And you've got plenty of reason to be." Steve glances behind Bucky at the small teenager who's fidgeting anxiously behind the ex-assassin. "But you're lying."
"I wasn't in Vienna. I don't do that anymore," Bucky says. His voice is even, doesn't show any hint of the fear that's making his stomach flip. If it were just him, he'd feel fine, but he has his kid to protect. He doesn't want him getting into this mess.
"Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. And they're not planning on taking you alive," Steve says, taking a slow step forward.
Peter's hand reaches out and latches onto Bucky's jacket, nerves radiating off him.
"Dad-"
"That's smart," Bucky says, setting his jaw. "Good strategy."
Bucky's mind is going a thousand miles an hour, trying to think of the best way out of this. He knows he has to fight. He knows he has to get Peter out of here, no matter what it takes.
"This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck," Steve says, looking over Bucky's shoulder at Peter again.
Peter looks vaguely like Bucky does. The same eyes. The same mannerisms. The same desire to protect those who can't protect themselves.
"Dad-" Peter tries again. His eyes are watering, but he blinks back the tears as best as he can.
He's Spider-Man, but he's only been for a few months. He's only just getting the hang of it and he doesn't think he can really fight, let alone without a mask on. No one knows his identity other than Bucky.
"It always ends in a fight," Bucky says. Truthfully, he's scared. So scared for what's about to go down, but he doesn't want to scare Peter. He just needs to get Peter to safety, that's his number one priority.
"Dad, please," Peter begs, tugging on Bucky's jacket sleeve, eyes filled with desperation and fear. He doesn't know what's going to happen, but whatever it is, it won't be good.
Bucky turns quickly, putting his hands on both of Peter's shoulders, blinking away the tears.
"I want you to hide, okay? Hide in the bathroom, under the sink if you have to. I don't know what's going to happen, but it won't be good. I want you to get your passport and pack a bag, once it's safe," Bucky explains quickly.
"Go to New York. Avengers Compound. It's not the best, but it'll be safest for now. Talk to Wanda once you get there," Steve inputs.
Bucky hesitates before nodding. "Use whatever you need from the savings account to get you there. I trust Steve's judgement."
"But, Dad," Peter says.
Bucky leans in closer, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you, kiddo, but you have to listen to me. Pack your suit. Pack whatever you think you'll need to keep you safe. I'll see you as soon as I can."
"Be safe," Peter says, hugging his dad quickly before ducking into the bathroom.
Underneath the sink, in the small cupboard, it's damp and smells gross and makes Peter's heart race in fear as he listens to the fight outside, but he can't move. He can't disobey his father.
So he stays.
In the dark, cramped space and waits.
Waits and waits and waits.
*
Wanda is kind enough when he arrives at the compound.
She's on house arrest for whatever reason it may be, nobody wants to tell Peter anything because he won't tell them. He can't.
He doesn't know who to trust or what he's allowed to tell them.
"You can have one of the guest bedrooms," she says. She's older than him. Enough to seem cool, but not enough to seem scary to the fourteen-year-old. "There's a bunch of spare ones on the floor. I'm the only one who's here."
The trip to the compound hadn't been easy. He's not the fanciest looking. His curls are getting long, ruffled, and messy from the long day. He's wearing a pair of dirty, old jeans, an old, worn hoodie, and a pair of worn sneakers that he's had since before Bucky adopted him.
Getting a plane ticket was hard as is. Convincing the cab driver that he actually needed to go the Avengers Compound was off the charts difficult. She refused to believe that he really wanted to go there so he got dropped off a few miles away and walked the rest of the way to the tower.
When he showed up, Wanda had been incredibly wary of who he was and what he was doing, but he convinced her he's a friend of Bucky's and Steve's by knowing random trivia about both of them.
Wanda and Vision still refused to tell him what was going on, but she's offered him a room and showed him around the floor.
"Thank you," Peter says gratefully. "I'll, um, I'll go take a shower then."
"I'll have to inform Tony of your arrival, Peter. What is your last name?"
"Smith," Peter lies with a frown. He doesn't know how much he can tell. He doesn't want to make the situation worse for Bucky accidentally. "Peter Smith."
"I will let Tony know of your arrival and stay at the tower. There's basic clothing in the drawers of every guest bedroom and basic toiletries in every attached bathroom," Vision says, turning back to the oven.
"Make yourself at home, Peter," Wanda says, offering a kind smile. "We'll be having dinner in about an hour if you want to join us."
Peter nods, smiling in return before heading off to his room.
He fishes his burner phone out of his pocket, he bought it before coming to the compound, and immediately sends a text to his dad.
I made it to the location. Hope everything's okay. Text me when you can.
Peter sighs, knowing he probably won't get a response for at least a little while. He doesn't even know where his dad is, let alone if he's okay or not.
He figures he might as well make the most of his time and he heads off to shower before dinner.
*
That night, after a particularly awkward dinner, Peter heads back to his room, pulling out his suit.
He became Spider-Man less than six months ago. He immediately told Bucky because his dad is the only person who could've understood. Bucky was supportive. Peter created his shitty suit so that he could go out there and protect Bucharest.
It's not necessarily a dangerous city, but it needed more protection, and Peter was happy to offer that once he discovered his powers.
He doesn't really call himself a hero, but to the citizens he saved, that's what he became.
The phone stays blank, no texts or voicemails or calls. Nothing.
It makes Peter's hope plummet until he hears some scuffling coming from the main rooms. He peeks out from his bedroom, eyes wide as he sees Vision fighting another man. This is his chance.
He ducks back into his room and pulls on his suit as quickly as he can. He knows this will be outing who he is to Wanda, but hopefully, she can keep a secret.
He hurries out of his room just as Wanda throws Vision through the floor.
"Let's go," Clint says, reaching for her elbow.
"What's going on?" Peter demands, dropping his voice an octave to appear older. "Can I help? I'm Spider-Man."
Clint hesitates before he nods. "We can use every hand we've got. Let's go."
*
Peter's told to stay in the background until he's really needed. They're at an airport in Germany to his knowledge, but he's not really sure of the specifics. He's not even sure why they're fighting, all he knows is that he needs to be there for his father.
He does as told, hiding around one of the walls, behind a car. He's still in his suit, though he knows he'll look like an amateur with his sweatpants, red hoodie and goggles. He'll look out of place compared to their million dollar suits.
But he just wants to help.
He wants his dad to be safe and be able to come home.
So, he'll do anything to help.
Even if that means crouching behind a car.
He can hear the fight beginning around him. Falcon's wings, Iron Man's repulsors, Cap's shield blocking punches, Bucky's metal arm.
He stays hidden.
Until-
"Underoos!"
It's Dad's voice. Loud and clear through the fighting and noises. Peter swings into battle without a second thought, jumping out from behind the car and shooting a web to swing high and far.
He lands in a crouch across from Iron Man who's repulsors are already raised in his direction.
"Who the hell are you? Bringing out surprise guests, are we?" Tony says, voice strained with anger.
"I'm Spider-Man," Peter says, flicking his wrists a few times, webbing Tony's wrists to his sides and then his feet to the ground. "Sorry, man."
"You sound twelve," he points out, helmet extracting to reveal a very tired face. "You don't want to get yourself into this, kid."
"I'm not- I'm not twelve," Peter says, dropping his voice as low as he can. "It's a little late for me to stay away. I already came all the way to Germany."
Tony easily pops the webbing off with his suit's strength, helmet closing again.
"I'm serious, kid. Don't get yourself caught up in the big leagues. Do you even know what you're fighting for?"
Peter's voice catches in his throat. He can't just say he's fighting for his dad, but he doesn't know what else he's fighting for. Bucky was very clear when he said he didn't want Peter to get involved with this argument as it could get him in trouble for being a mutant.
"We're fighting for freedom, Stark!" Wanda shouts, a blast of red energy knocking Tony into the air. She pauses to speak quietly into the comms. "Don't do that, Spidey."
"Yes, ma'am," Peter says, quickly swinging off to where Steve is fighting Black Panther across the playing field. "Need a hand?"
*
(Sorry I can't write fight scenes for the life of me and I don't feel like practicing yet)
"You two get to the jet. The rest of us will keep them occupied until then," Sam instructs, dodging a blast from Iron Man. "This isn't the real fight. Some of us have to lose to win this."
"Sam's right. You two go," Clint agrees.
"Spidey's coming," Bucky says, voice strained. "He has to come."
"Buck-"
"I'll be okay. You do what you need to do," Peter chirps over the line. He's not quite sure what will happen when they surrender after getting Bucky and Steve out, but he's willing to take the risk if it means they get out.
"Pe- Spidey, you're coming with us. I'm not letting you get taken by them!" Bucky argues angrily, peeking around the corner of their hiding place. They need to go now.
"I'll be okay. Spiders don't do well in the cold anyway," Peter says, forcing a laugh as though this is just one of their game nights at the apartment. "Stay safe."
"You too, kid." There's too much emotion behind his voice but they need to go. With or without his kid. It's probably safer this way anyway. This way, he'll be locked up, but at least he'll be away from any dangers. "Stay low."
*
He wasn't really sure if this is considered 'staying low.'
He's now trapped in his own cell on the Raft in the middle of absolutely nowhere with no way to contact his dad.
They took his mask and his homemade webshooters and put him in a blue jumpsuit.
He tried to argue that he wasn't of legal age so technically they shouldn't be allowed to do this, but they disagreed because of his mutant abilities.
Now they know his face and probably his identity. Because he was a foster kid when he was little, his files aren't hard to find. His name isn't hard to find. His father isn't hard to find.
He curls up in the corner of his cell, refusing the food pushed through the little slot in his door. He's more high security because of his mutant status. Like Wanda is.
He tries to sleep, but sleep won't come with the constant security patrolling and his enhanced senses picking up on everything around them.
He hears Tony Stark coming before he sees him.
He ignores him even when he knows Sam is giving away secrets and when Clint is yelling and when Tony stops outside his cell.
"Shit," is the first word out of Tony's mouth when he stops in front of Peter's cell.
Peter doesn't lift his head.
"I knew you were young, but I guess I was right when I said you sounded twelve. Is it really necessary to keep you locked up like this?" Tony says, worry leaking into his normally sarcastic voice.
Peter finally looks up, glaring at Tony through his glassy eyes. He knows it probably makes him look even younger, but he couldn't care less.
"I'm a fucking mutant, so I guess it is, yeah. And I'm fourteen, not twelve," Peter mutters, resting his chin against his knees that are pulled up against his chest.
"Fourteen... Shit. You shouldn't be- Why were you even bothering to help Barnes and Rogers? What good is that going to do for you?" Tony asks. His voice has dropped to just above a whisper, leaning towards the bars that separate them.
Peter glares over at Tony, rolling his eyes. "I'm surprised you haven't put it together yet."
"Put what together?" Tony asks, eyebrows furrowing.
The teenager gestures vaguely at his face as best as he can with the cuffs around his wrist attaching him to the wall and giving him maybe three feet of slack.
"The good this is going to do for me is bring my family back together," Peter says coldly. "Have you ever stopped to think that maybe he's not just somebody trying to disobey the laws? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe there's more to this than just somebody trying to protect themselves? I've heard Ross talking... The accords were going to force me here whether or not I disobeyed any laws because I'm some freak. He was trying to protect me too."
Tony's silent for a long few moments, studying the small boy in the corner of the cell.
"Barnes is your father, isn't he?" Tony sighs. "I'll figure out this whole situation later, okay? I'll see what I can do."
Peter rolls his eyes darkly, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. "Don't bother. If you end up winning, at least maybe I'll be able to see my dad again."
"It's not fair-"
"You know what's not fair?" Peter exclaims, lifting his arms away from his knees. Tony visibly flinches at the thick collar around the teenager's neck with the flashing red dot on the side. "It's not fair that I don't know where my dad is or if he's alive. It's not fair that I'm not allowed to disobey or else this thing might go off. It's not fair that I'm being caged up like an animal just because I'm considered dangerous for my actions to help stop a man from hurting any more people. It's not fair that I might never see my dad again. You can't tell me what's unfair."
Tony falls silent again, sympathy shining in his eyes. He cradles his slinged arm carefully against his chest in thoughtful consideration.
"Just go," Peter says, shaking his head as he sets his chin back against his arms to hide the collar. "I don't want you to think you have to change your opinions just because I'm a kid. This is what the accords will do to us, I guess."
*
It feels like years pass endlessly with Peter staring at the ceiling. Occasionally, they'll talk between the Rogue Avengers as they've been titled, but it's mostly silent. Nobody likes getting yelled at for being too loud.
But Steve comes.
He finally comes.
And soon, he's landing in Wakanda where Bucky and Steve have taken refuge.
Bucky's standing in a lab where Steve leads him.
"Dad!" Peter exclaims, feeling like a little kid again as he races across the clean floor towards where Bucky is, his metal arm removed and looking peaceful, especially when he sees his kid is okay.
"Peter!" Bucky catches Peter when he reaches him, wrapping his arm tight around the teenager's back. Peter clings onto his neck tightly, crying softly into his neck.
"I was- I thought you were dead," Peter cries. "Nobody would tell me anything and it had been so long and Sam told me where you had gone and I just- I thought I was going to be there forever."
"It's okay, kiddo. You're going to be safe here," Bucky pulls away, leaving a soft kiss on Peter's temple. He flinches at the ring of bruises around Peter's pale neck where the collar had been.
"What's going on? What's going to happen?" Peter asks, bottom lip quivering and fingers curling into his dad's tanktop to remind himself he's not alone.
"Listen, kiddie. I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, I just need to do this. I don't trust myself to... To be around like this while I can still be controlled. I'm going to go back under. Just until they can find a way to unbreak my mind," Bucky explains softly. He cups Peter's cheek and gently brushes away his tears using the pad of his thumb. Peter subconsciously leans into the touch.
"You're... What's going to happen to me? Do I have to go back?" Peter squeaks, doe eyes full of confusion and worry as he sniffles.
"No, Petey, no. Never. I promise. You're going to stay here with Steve and T'Challa. The people here are going to take good care of you until... Until everything is sorted," he explains, smiling sadly.
He didn't get Peter forever. He didn't know Peter existed for too long and even then, he was only able to be a father for a few years. It's all crumbled beneath his feet with everything that's happened. The foundation he's built for his little family of two has crumbled. He couldn't escape his past.
"You'll be okay?" his kid asks nervously.
"Yeah, Petey, I'll be just fine. Might take a while until they can figure this out, but I'll be back. I can promise you that much. We just have to wait until I can trust myself to not hurt anyone."
"Okay, Dad. I'll be okay too. Mister Rogers will be good, I think. I love you," he murmurs.
"I love you too, kiddie."
Bucky pulls Peter into another warm hug before telling him to go. He doesn't want Peter to have to watch.
He didn't get to be a father for as long as he wished he could've and it hurts worse than anything to know he's going to miss even more of his kid's life, but this is for the best. He did a pretty damn good job raising Peter, so he'll be okay without him for a little while. However long it takes.
It'll work itself out.
Wakanda doesn't need a Spider-Man, but it does need a Peter Parker-Barnes. Everywhere does.
Bucky had tried to ignore it.
Had tried to ignore the boy with a big heart and a kind soul.
Had tried to ignore yet another repercussion of his time as The Winter Soldier.
But he's so grateful he didn't ignore it.
He's so damn happy that he didn't ignore the memories, even with all the pain that comes hand-in-hand with the joy.
That's what being a parent is all about.
And Bucky's certain he did a good job for once.