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Diana was pregnant. Pregnant as in she would be a mother soon. Pregnant as in there was a baby growing in her right now. She, made of clay and zapped to life by the king of gods, had laid with a man and had created life with one. Life that she would have to nurture, who may or may not receive her powers, who may or may not be a boy. She, Diana, Princess of Themyscira, daughter of Hippolyta, was pregnant.
And she, for the first time in her life, was terrified.
Perhaps her fears were irrational, she tried to tell herself. But as Diana gazed at the sleeping face of her lover, the icy tentacles of terror threatened to strangle her. She leapt out of bed, barely making sure Bruce was still asleep before she swept out of the room.
Everything seemed to make her skin tingle as she rushed through the enormous manor. The shadows took the shape of suffering and abandoned children, failed by their mothers. The sounds of sleeping children — Bruce’s sleeping children — were like screams of failure in her ears. With every step, her silk negligee brushed against her stomach and it nearly made her want to throw up. She could already feel her stomach stretching and growing until she couldn’t fight, couldn’t defend, couldn’t help, was completely useless and helpless…
Somehow, Diana found herself in the back garden. She fell to her knees by a bed of roses, understanding true panic for the first time. Diana was a warrior. When the world fell apart, that was the one thing she always knew. Since her hand could make a fist, she held a sword and now motherhood was going to rob her of that.
“No,” Diana whispered, fists shaking as she clenched them. “Your mother is a warrior and her mother was too. Motherhood is just another battle to be won… “ Her voice was laced with uncertainty as she spoke. She hated the feeling of doubt but she didn’t know any other Amazonian that’s been in her shoes before. She had been the only child on Themyscira until Donna was created for her and neither of them had been made the “natural” way. She had never wondered how their all-female population reproduced, had assumed that all of them was sculpted from clay like she was. Hell, she didn’t even think it was possible for them to reproduce like this. She’d never met her mom’s mom; all her information came from stories. Now that Diana thought about it, her mom was the only mom on Themyscira and she couldn’t give advice about being pregnant.
Diana was truly alone in this.
“Is everything alright, Miss Diana?” Diana’s head shot up, an embarrassed flush taking over her face. Of course Alfred would be up this early.
“Of course, Alfred. I’m fine.” Diana’s fingers fiddles with the petals of one of the roses. She smiled kindly at the butler before turning her gaze to the rising sun. If there was one thing she had the say about Wayne Manor, it was that it had an amazing view.
Alfred walked over and laid a tea tray on the grass next to Diana. She gave a small “thanks” as she took one of the cups in her hands, relishing the heat that seeped into her palms. The silence between them was comforting but Diana wasn’t surprised when it didn’t last long.
“If you don’t mind me pushing, Miss Diana, then I must say that I have spent a long long time with the Waynes. Master Bruce and all the young masters are known for their stubbornness and lack of self-preservation. I have gotten very good at noticing when things are off and knowing when my charges are most certainly not okay. Are you sure there is nothing you want to speak about?”
Diana made a noise, somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle. She had always appreciated Alfred’s keen eye; it had saved Bruce’s life more than once after all. She should’ve known that one day that keen eye would be turned against her. Looking at Alfred and his kind, patient eyes, Diana wasn’t sure how Bruce could keep anything from him.
“I am pregnant.”
Surprise flashed on Alfred’s face for a quick second, quick enough to make Diana question if it was there at all. But then Alfred’s usually stoic face melted into a warm smile and Diana couldn’t’ve cared less what his initial reaction was.
“Well, that’s wonderful news. Have you told Master Bruce yet?” His voice was so gently, Diana almost felt like crying. Instead, she shook her head, releasing a heavy sigh and turning her eyes back to the rosebed in front of her.
“I’m scared, Alfred.”
“And why is that?”
“My mom… my mother sculpted me out of clay, as you know. And I was the only child on Themyscira. No woman I know has ever been pregnant. Frankly, I feel completely out of my debt and have no one to turn to for guidance. Not only that but I do not have faith in my abilities to raise a child. I have never dealt with a baby for a long period of time, do not know how to change diapers or anything of the sort. But I do want to have the baby, Alfred. I want to be a mother so bad but I do not know how to be a mother. For that, I am scared.”
“That is a completely normal and valid way to feel. Most first time mothers are scared and most do not know how to raise a child. There are classes and books specifically for learning those skills and you’ll meet a lot of women going through the same thing as you. The most important thing is that you are certain that you want to go through with this. You’re making a commitment, Miss Diana, one that will last all that child’s life.”
“I’m sure. I… I already love her.”
“Or him.”
“Him? Oh Hera, it could be a boy, can’t it? Is that even possible?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Wow…” Alfred watched as Diana looked at her belly, her face glowing with wonderment. Watching her, he knew that she would make a wonderful mother.
“Well then, I believe you have nothing to fear, Miss Diana. I do suggest telling Master Bruce as soon as possible before he finds out on his own. I guarantee he’ll be overjoyed.”
Diana looked up and gave Alfred the biggest smile, her blue eyes twinkling in the rising sunlight.
“I will. I would have to give up fighting, wouldn’t I?”
“Temporarily. A small price to pay, I’m afraid.” But Diana didn’t seem concerned about it, instead smiling softly as she rubbed her belly.
“Thanks, Alfred.”
“You’re quite welcome, Miss Diana.”
———
Alfred was right: Bruce was practically bursting with joy when Diana spilled the beans. Never before had Diana seen his eyes so bright or his smile so big. He had pulled her into a massive bear hug, sweeping her right off her feet. He had kissed her until they were both breathless and giggling like high school sweethearts.
Then, in the most inelegant and abrupt way possible, he had asked for her to marry him.
It wasn’t the first time that request had passed through his lips. After every life-threatening battle, as one of them laid in a hospital bed, barely clinging to life, Bruce would ask for her hand in marriage. And everything time she would decline. She didn’t want to make such a big decision because of fear or uncertainty. She wanted to marry him, yes, but only when they were sure and ready.
Somewhere deep in her mind, a voice told her to decline this proposal as well. The voice told her that Bruce did not want to marry her, that he was only asking for the sake of the baby so that he or she wouldn’t be born out of wedlock. But then, Diana looked at Bruce and that voice was silenced by the pure love glowing in his usually guarded eyes.
So with a strong sense of rightness that Diana hadn’t felt in a while, she finally said yes.