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Lena Janko was not an easy woman to understand. Eddie knew that better than just about anyone else on the planet. She’d been raised by the woman, after all. So, really, it shouldn’t have come as any surprise to her that she’d been keeping something like this – harassment and vandalism – a secret from the only member of her family still willing to speak to her. Despite that, it still stung. Knowing her own mother felt as if she wasn’t able to depend on her – it really stung.
She knew Lena blamed herself for a lot of what’d gone down with her dad. Her mother had never actually come out and said it, but she’d been able to tell. That was who her mother was. She was a pain sometimes – okay, most of the time – but, when push came to shove, family did matter to her. Eddie mattered to her. And so, even if she had never uttered so much as a single word to confirm it, Eddie knew Lena was still trying to keep her out of the crossfire. She was trying to keep her safe. She just didn’t get why she had never stopped to consider that perhaps, every once in a while, Eddie wanted to be able to keep her safe, too.
She held it all in during the dinner, mostly because her mother wasn’t all-out insulting either Jamie or his father and that seemed like something to be celebrated with silence. The second her mother vanished into the car she’d driven them in, however, and Jamie was guiding her to the waiting Chevelle, it all came out suddenly.
“I know we’re not the most talkative mother-daughter duo,” she began, sliding into the passenger seat and waiting until he was behind the wheel and had turned the key in the ignition before continuing, “but I’m a cop. When your landlord pulls something like this, you’re supposed to call the cops. Why not call the one you’re related to?”
“Well, you’ve always said that, for all her pitfalls, she’s protective,” Jamie pointed out. “From what she said in there, sounds like it had a lot to do with your dad. Maybe she just didn’t want to villainize him any further in your eyes.”
“Believe me, that’s not even possible,” Eddie muttered under her breath. “And my mom has never had any issue telling me exactly what it is she thinks of my father. I’m pretty sure the only reason they’re still married is because he’s refusing to sign the papers.”
“Maybe she’s changing her ways,” Jamie suggested uncertainly.
Eddie scoffed incredulously. “Uh-huh. And tell me, what is the Catholic Church’s stance on Hell freezing over? Because it would take that kind of universe-altering event for my mother to ever even attempt to change her ways.” She sighed quietly, shaking her head. “I’m starting to get why she didn’t call me,” she muttered. “I’m a horrible daughter.”
“You’re human,” Jamie corrected her. “Look, if we measure whether or not we’re good kids on whether our parents are willing to confide their problems in us, then I’m pretty sure my sister, brother, and I would fall pretty damn short.”
“She moves constantly, Jamie,” Eddie murmured, shaking her head. “Constantly. My mother does not like change. She does not enjoy it. I should’ve seen this from a mile away. I just – I’m so annoyed with her, all the time, that I wasn’t even – I wasn’t even looking for it.”
“Well, now you know. I’m sure, next time, you’ll be her first call,” Jamie assured her.
Eddie shrugged half-heartedly. “Yeah. Maybe.” She fell silent for a few minutes. “When my father was first indicted, I was a mess. My world was just imploding around me, and so I never really stopped to realize hers was, too.”
“You were a kid, Eddie,” Jamie reminded her. “You’re her kid. I’m sure she probably hid it from you.”
Eddie drew in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “So, what, is that what parenthood is? Our kids are never going to actually know what’s going on with us, because we’ll be scared of it hurting them, and then, ten years down the road, they’ll find out what was actually going on and blame themselves for letting us go through that alone, therefore getting hurt anyway?”
“It’s not an exact science,” Jamie hedged, smiling sadly when Eddie heaved another sigh. “Look, your mom protected you from what she was going through because of her link to your dad. Danny’s kids still don’t know about all the nights he called Erin or me, scared out of his mind, because Linda was gone and he didn’t have any idea how to do it all by himself. You protect your kids when you can protect your kids, knowing they might end up resenting it for you later, because – well, because it’s your job.”
“Fine,” Eddie sighed, shaking her head. “But if anyone ever spray-paints on our door what was spray-painted on hers, our kid’s going to be my first call. I have lived and learned this lesson.”
“If anyone ever spray-paints on our door what was spray-painted on hers, I’m pretty sure Danny’ll go after them with a crowbar for insulting you, no matter how old he is at the time,” Jamie teased. “You’re like his little sister. And I’ll be right there, helping him out.”
“Aw,” Eddie smirked amusedly over at him, the smile softening when their eyes met briefly before he returned his focus to the road. “Does that mean I’m officially one of you guys, now?”
Jamie glanced over at her again with a soft smile of his own. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “Yeah, you are.”