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“I think you’re supposed to be on one knee”

Summary:

Stephanie doesn’t know a whole lot about witch culture but she doesn’t think you’re supposed to kidnap the bride... or the bride’s boyfriend

Bingo: Proposal

Notes:

Influenced by Stephanie Brown’s run as Batgirl

Work Text:

“Batgirl,” Bruce came over the comms. He would have most likely contacted Red Robin if the Bird’s comm was still operating but a candlestick to just the right spot made it come in fuzzy, “We’re sensing a robbery with unusual circumstance on fifth street.”

 

That was a street away from the apartment that he mother and her shared, Steph thought. She repeated what Bruce said to her partner for the night. Tim never liked when thigns began with unusual around gotham… Considering what the usual was.

 

“Now or never boy wonder,” She winked before grappling off towards their destination which was surrounded by people recording the building as bright and flashing lights emerged. A cashier was screaming with clawmarks down her arms, but relatively unharmed.

 

“Ma’am is anyone in there?” Red Robin asked.

 

“Cat,” The woman blubbered before windows shattered and the crowd had to jump. The poor and underpaid cashier fainted, causing the commissioner to swoop in and grab her. The off and on vigilante couple shared a shrug before grappling in to avoid the mess, a camera clicked in for her cowl. Expecting to find a magic user or Cheetah or an evil Catwoman, they just found Klarion The Witch Boy and his giant cat munching down on anything and everything is the Pet aisle. But nothing else, no robbing or even casting a magic spell. Just some weird freaking light show.

 

“Batgirl,” Klarion cheered when he saw her, stopping the light show, “Just the girl I was searching for.”

 

“You know there’s a thing called a phone call,” She crossed her arms, “Your giant cat is attacking the locals.”

 

“I cannot do what I was going to do over a phone call,” He answered. Stephanie crossed her arms and gave him an exasperated look through her mask. She was a tad amused, but mostly annoyed. She has things to do after all.

 

“And what exactly is that?” She stared, “Are the cats fighting or something?”

 

The blinding flash of light was all she saw as her and Tim were thrown back from whatever spell the wish boy cast. Then she was out like a light.

 

When she came to, It was clear that she was somewhere witchy and totally out of her realm of normal, that has to say something about the witchboy. Also Tim is hanging upside down in his suit right next to her while the vines constraining him glowed blue.

 

Also, why the hell was she in a wedding dress?

 

“Klarion,” she screamed causing Tim to wake up, “Get your scrawny ass out here before I find you! You know I can!”

 

“What the- God, my head hurts,” Tim grumbled, “I seriously hate magic. Why are you in a wedding dress?”

 

Steph went to untie her boyfriend viciously while fuming because that is exactly the question she wanted to ask Klarion. The little brat had some explaining to do, that’s for sure. You don’t just magically interrupt a vigilante’s date night and put them in a wedding dress. It’s rude.

 

“Stephanie,” Klarion emerged, “You’re awake.”

 

Meanwhile Tim falls to the ground, feeling a little duzzy as Stephanie helps him back up. It’s clear her boyfriend needs some time to regroup.

 

“Where are we?” She crossed her arms before she gestured to the dress, “And what is this?”

 

“It’s a ceremonial gown that a woman to be married wears. It’s very similar to what mortals do as well,” He explained as if Stephanie was an idiot.

 

She squinted at him in a glare. He seriously didn’t see anything wrong with what was occuring, “I know what it is… what I meant is why the hell am I wearing it?”

 

“For our unification, of course,” Klarion stated. Oh well if that’s the case… She’s going to wring his freaking blue neck. Tim, the sweet dizzy boy he is just stared at the two in confusion.

 

“You can’t marry my girlfriend,” He stated.

 

Klarion groaned, “It’s not like I want too. But the council insists that I must be betrothed soon. It’s proper in our culture. If you have not noticed, I’m not very interested in relationships but we shared that one kiss and I decided, eh, I could do worse. You’re not a complete idiot.”

 

“You kissed?” Tim stared at Steph.

 

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “A. It was a cover. B. Should I call Wonder Girl and ask about some of those missions while we were on break? No, I didn’t think so.” But she averts her attention back to her so called betrothed, “ And we are not getting married. You’re taking us back to our dimension and I’m going home and taking a bubble bath.”

 

“But you have too,” The witch pouted, “The council will never take me seriously if they have to arrange a marriage for me. With my luck, my betrothed will be a troll, something worse than even you!”

 

She sighed, “I’m sorry you’re going to married off to a troll- Oh wait, I’m not. Consider this my RSVP, now take us home.”

 

“Fine, I’ll go get your things,” Klarion pouted before trudging away to the chest that seemingly appeared, “I just thought that you of all people would understand, after all I shared with you how these things go. How burdened I feel by my council, I guess Teekyl will just have to get use to sharing me and- Oh, how awful it will be when the Troll decides its time for me to-”

 

She took her clothing from him with a quirked brow as he pouted and attempted to guilt her. It wasn’t working. Not at all. Nope.

 

“Did you know Troll show their love by bringing back dead animals? I just feels so trapped by this council… If they have a say in my marriage then they have a say in everything.”

 

God, she hates herself.

 

“Okay, say I’m considering this,” she sighed. The witch had a grin that reminded her of Dick after he guilts Bruce into doing what she wants, “What exactly consist of a witch marriage?”

 

“Steph!” Tim whined.

 

He hopped around giddily, “The council and one witness has to be present. You sign the paper and we tie each others hands together where a marking on the inner part of our hands will show, then traditionally we would proceed with a consummation, but I’d rather not… No offense. Frankly I find mortals distasteful.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “That’s it? No promise or forced to stay here? No heir? Just you’re weird witch mark claim.”

 

“Please do you think I want to flash you of all people around to my community, hardly,” He explained, “I have no need for an heir. All they do is cry. As soon as you perish, they will leave me be to widow.”

 

“So just a wedding,” She briefed.

 

“Stephanie, you can’t get married!” Tim yelled, “You’re in highschool!”

 

“I had a kid in highschool too,” she rolled her eyes and focused on the witch, “Besides it not like a real wedding. And you can be the witness!”

 

“You want me to witness my girlfriend's wedding to another person?” Tim asked her, still a little wobbly on his legs but much more competent than before.

 

“It’s not like a real wedding, we don’t even like eachother,” Steph had no problem telling her boyfriend. Said boyfriend looked between the two like they were crazy but didn’t argue further. Oh well, Steph thought, she’ll just buy him coffee and he will get over it.

 

“So you agree to be my betrothed?” Klarion ask.

 

“Sure,” Steph shrugged but held the evil glint in her eye, “On one condition.”

 

“Anything,” Klarion promised, staring at the girl like she hung the moon.

 

“You have to propose,” she grinned, “Properly.”



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