Work Text:
Shen Qingqiu sighed, looking away from the pitiful man standing in front of him.
“Binghe, leave.” He gave the prompt order for the protagonist to leave, but he wasn’t having it. They finally had some time to be alone without any annoying gnats flying around, and he was expected to leave? Fat chance!
At least, that’s what he was thinking, but the tears threatening to fall from his eyes were saying another thing entirely. By this point, Shen Qingqiu already built up some kind of an immune system to this tearful maiden look of his.
(It was more accurate to say that he was working on said immunity.)
Seeing that he wasn’t moving, Shen Qingqiu folded his fan, hitting the side of the wall. “Should this Master see this as defiance from his disciple? Can you not see the state your Martial Uncle is in? Give him some face and leave.” He sternly rebuked his disciple who was unwilling to leave, even daring to send quick glares over towards Shang Qinghua.
Yes, Luo Binghe was upset that his quality time with Shen Qingqiu was being interrupted, but he appreciated any moment that his Shizun could be stern with him. This incurable M only wished that Shizun could be even more strict with him!
If he remained stubborn, just how strict with him will he be? Cheeks flushing slightly, breath growing shallow, it was obvious to the naked eye that Luo Binghe may very well jump him at any given moment.
Time for a change in tactics, “This Master will come find you later, Binghe. If you listen…” He was going to regret this, “this Master will listen to one of your requests.”
!!!
“A-are you sure abou-”
“This Disciple will leave immediately! Please come find this Disciple later, Shizun!” As expected from the protagonist, he’d disappeared without a trace, not even leaving dust in his wake. No one could see the smirk tugging at the corners of his lips once he’d left. Shizun played right into his trap.
What should he ask of him later? Maybe request that he can use Shizun’s lap as a pillow while he has his head pat? Sounds wonderful!
All because Shen Qingqiu was easily embarrassed, it was hard to get him to do anything domestic themed without resorting to such methods.
Shang Qinghua nervously eyed Shen Qingqiu, “Are you sure about that? You read the original novel, so you should know that-” He was cut off by Shen Qingqiu opening his fan, covering the lower half of his face.
“He craves domestic things, so I assume he would ask something along the lines of using my lap as a pillow or asking me to call him ‘husband’ for an entire day. Fear not, I would not suggest it if I couldn’t handle it.” He sounded so sure of himself, so Shang Qinghua let it go while offering a silent prayer for Shen Qingqiu on the off chance he was wrong.
“I… can I stay here for a while, Cucumber bro?”
“You can stay and talk for a couple of hours, but I don’t know if you could stay any longer than that.” This wasn’t just about how Luo Binghe would get upset over this ‘unwelcome’ guest, but Shen Qingqiu was willing to bet that Mobei Jun wouldn’t appreciate his husband staying out longer than what was necessary. “Why don’t we talk about it first? Then you can decide for yourself.”
Shang Qinghua was depressed, and there were times it got worse when he was left alone with his thoughts. Recently, he’d been stuck in a dark place, and it had been worrying Mobei Jun. How did Shen Qingqiu know this? He has his ways of knowing.
Yes, through a certain husband of his.
“Sometimes I wonder if I transmigrated into my own novel as punishment,” Shang Qinghua started to say, fingers clenching tight enough the tips turned white, “for having such shitty writing. My plot was full of holes, my characters were mindless canon fodders too unintelligent for life, too many of my characters are shameless beyond belief, I wrote horrible bed scenes, and Shen Qingqiu—who had a well thought out backstory… was reduced to a 1-dimensional character with no redeeming qualities at all aside from his looks.”
It felt like an arrow pierced both of their backs with every listed complaint, many of which that Shen Yuan had written as a complaint in the comment section against the novel when he still lived on Earth. “There was a big push to kill him and castrate him…” Shang Qinghua glanced over at his good friend ‘Peerless Cucumber’ who led the charge for getting the character castrated.
Even now, he’s grateful that the author didn’t listen to those rallying demands to castrate him. If he had listened, Shen Yuan would’ve castrated Shang Qinghua the moment he realized the author transmigrated into one of his shitty canon fodder characters.
Why listen to what the readers have to say? Shouldn't you value the sanctity of your characters first and foremost!?
Alas, Shen Qingqiu’s manhood was kept safe. Not only that, both these canon fodder characters managed to forge happy endings for themselves. Could you say they had bad endings when both had such dedicated husbands who loved them?
“It’s true that there were many plotholes… and that you didn’t tie many lose ends in your story. The um… bed scenes certainly were written like they were painted by an amateur…” Shen Qingqiu was struggling to find the right words, panicking when Shang Qinghua’s shoulder drooped even further.
“Shameless characters were plentiful, but there were just as many respectable characters as well! How many characters were introduced in your novel? People complain of your shameless villains, but they fail to mention all your good characters. Is Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge not respectable characters?”
“I killed them off.”
“…” Hey, can you allow him a running chance to cheer you up, Airplane bro? “Ning Yingying is loyal and optimistic. Who can’t love a character who is bright like the sun?” She didn’t die off, moreover, she married the protagonist as his wife (one of many)!
You couldn’t say that you gave her an unhappy end.
“Her IQ was in the negatives and all she did was make Luo Binghe get bullied harder by his peers. She was better off dead with her negative IQ.” A common complaint people had about her, if he recalled. He personally liked her, so having her be bashed that way by the readers due to his own shortcomings hurt him deep.
Yes… well, that was a common complaint. What next? Using his brain to its limits, he was trying to come up with other reasons the novel was good to cheer up his friend. He may complain that the transmigrated author was shameless, but he didn’t hate that quality of his. It was that very shamelessness that allowed him to do as he pleased without any regard to what others thought—but it seemed he cared more than people believed.
“I transmigrated into a canon fodder who is the epitome of shameless and he was supposed to die a dog’s death.”
“But you didn’t.”
Shang Qinghua of this altered novel was shameless, but he had a heart full of love for all his characters. No matter how dirty and conniving they were, he loved them. As a fellow transmigrator, he could confidently say that he loved the characters of this world as well.
“Without all those scummy and shameless characters, who else can you show off the white lotus my husband was before he blackened? His righteousness was cool, and his strength was even cooler!” This was embarrassing to say, but the protagonist wasn’t here to hear his words—so it’s fine! “Even when he blackened, he was charismatic and awe-inspiring. He got what he wanted, and he lived the life many men can only dream of. You were writing a novel that feeds dreams.”
They’ve discussed something similar before, where Shang Qinghua had no choice but to write a story with missing elements, massive plot holes, and 1-dimensional characters. He had to write to keep his viewership up, for the sake of his livelihood. He had to make a living as well!
Not even he wished to write a shoddy story that would gain raving reviews with every update, dropping his sense of self-worth with every word they attacked him with! (Shen Yuan can admit that he played a big role in this, and therefore, it was his duty to fix some of the damage.)
“Follow me.” Shen Qingqiu didn’t allow Shang Qinghua any room to argue as he’d already left the room, so Shang Qinghua could only follow behind in silence.
Out of every place he’d been to, nothing was quite as beautiful as the place he started this journey, Qingjing Peak. “The trees are beautiful here, as are the flowers that bloom in the spring. Winter is gorgeous as the contrast between the trees and the white snow offer a picturesque landscape. The fall, even if it’s the time of year when everything is dying, it’s colorful gradient of colors is a delight to the eyes. Continue following me to my favorite place.” He almost felt like a man who worked at a museum, tasked to teaching the younger generation about all the art pieces in the gallery.
Ironic that he was showing off the scenery to the one who created this world from his very mind.
You could say that he was being blinded by rosy pink glasses, but what's wrong with that? The fact that this place stood out to him more than anything he'd experienced in two worlds, that has to mean something. This world that Shang Qinghua birthed from his own mind, was awe-inspiring.
He stopped in an open clearing with a giant boulder that had a giant gash cut into it. This was the place he first practiced his skills and snuck out before Luo Binghe and Ning Yingying found him there.
A path was cut through the trees, for people to walk through, and this path allowed for a decent spot to view the sky to appear. “If you sit here, you can see a lovely sunset or sunrise, whichever you prefer. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen.”
Why was Shen Qingqiu giving him a tour of different touristy spots on Qingjing Peak?
“This is the beautiful world your mind created, Airplane bro. The sights I get to marvel at year in and year out, are thanks to your mind. This place isn’t like our home on Earth. The stars are blindingly bright in this world, like our future. We can make so much out of our time here. You managed to land your 'Dream Man' as your husband. I may have flamed the life out of your novel, but I stuck with it, because I (secretly) loved it. I got to first hand experience the events of one of my favorite novels, and I married the protagonist.” Who could have ever thought in their wildest dreams that they could marry the protagonist of one of their favorite novels?
Isn’t that the definition of a dream come true?
On that note, there was something he’d always wished for.
“Back on Earth, I was never the most social of people. I found comfort in books, because the characters could not judge me for who I am, or who I am not. I could be free from the world when I immersed myself into the world of a novel. You read all these stories with a beautifully written romance and wish for even an iota of that to grace you in real life, but you know that won’t ever happen. Fiction stays in fiction, and reality is cold and cruel. However, your novel made that wish into a reality. I have a loving husband who loves me for who I am, and he won’t ever leave me for anything. If things played out differently, I’m confident that your novel would have reached different heights if you allowed yourself to expand more.”
If you didn’t favor viewership over filling plot holes. If you didn’t concern yourself over people’s reactions, you could have written the story the way you wished to, not allowing any plot stories to go untouched.
“Any author who can write a world as beautiful as this, is not untalented. You need shameless characters to shed light on the Hero. You need scum for the Hero to show off his bravado and morality. You need a wide variety of characters to humanize the world you are writing. Just like that, the world needs different sorts of authors. Who cares if you’re shameless? That hasn’t stopped Mobei Jun from loving you. It hasn’t stopped ME from being your friend. If someone gives you a hard time, tell me. I’ll send my husband over to educate them.” What, did you think he’d do the deed himself?
Look, everyone knows that Luo Binghe would be the best to send out for any revenge plot.
Why waste your time and energy when your husband can do the job for you and do it 100 times worse than what you would have originally done?
“I’ll admit that I was distraught when I first woke up in this world, but I love this world. I love the story of this world. YOUR WORLD. I’m not just saying this because I’m fooling myself into thinking this. I say this because I truly believe in my words. Give yourself some more credit. You’re an excellent writer.”
Have you ever seen Cucumber bro speak this much? Is your throat okay?
“By the way, the only reason your husband hits you so often isn’t because of some punishment karma is giving you for being a bad writer. That’s YOUR FAULT for telling Luo Binghe that he had to act a certain way to gain my attention. Mobei Jun must think forcing you to grovel before him is a way of human courtship. That’s your fault. Tell him you’d prefer gentle touches more often, and I’m sure he’d oblige.” Shen Qingqiu huffed, fanning himself with his fan.
If Shen Qingqiu has to deal with Binghe’s maiden tears, then you had to deal with Mobei Jun erroneously thinking he had to beat you as a form of affectionate courtship.
Shang Qinghua felt touched by some of his words. It was nice being able to hear such supportive words, especially from the very ‘Peerless Cucumber’ who was responsible for some of THE WORST criticisms he’s received in the past.
The comments about how his husband treats him... let's focus on that for another day.
“Thanks, Cubumber bro. I feel a little bit better now. I’m sorry about… all this…” Shang Qinghua nervously laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“You should thank your husband. He let my husband know that you haven’t been in a good place. I’m sure he suggested that Mobei Jun scare you into running to my place again so we could talk. Husband… may have acted stubborn, but I know he cares for his Martial Uncle. He simply saw his chance and ran with it.” Shen Qingqiu sighed, wondering if he should punish Luo Binghe later for using such underhanded means against him like that.
No matter what anyone had to say, their Demon husbands treated them well to the best of their abilities. Sure, there were a couple of hiccups along the way, but wasn’t that the same for any relationship?
Everything was about giving and taking, along with learning how to create a life with your beloved.
“My husband deemed you important enough to give us some time together. The Protagonist and (his right-hand man) your husband are two of the most powerful men in the novel you wrote, and they both hold you in high enough regard, doesn’t that count for something?”
Luo Binghe truly didn’t care for anyone aside from Shen Qingqiu, but he didn’t hate Shang Qinghua. At the very least, he was sure that he was no threat. As one of the sole Peak Lords who doesn’t disagree with their relationship, Luo Binghe admittedly had some positive feelings regarding his Martial Uncle.
Mobei Jun loved his shameless human and brought up his worries with his superior, hoping that he’d allow their wives some time together to talk in private. Neither demon understood what sorts of secrets the two shared, but it was clear as day that they trusted each other with unspoken secrets.
A happy subordinate means work will finish smoother.
Giving his Martial Uncle face by allowing the two Peak Lords to speak in private meant that Shen Qingqiu would spoil Luo Binghe later as a reward in return! He could sacrifice a couple of hours for the greater good!
“Can I ask a question, Cucumber bro?”
“Shoot.”
“Why do you call Luo Binghe husband when he’s not around, but you call him ‘disciple’ when he’s around?”
THIS SHAMELESS--!
Ahem
Shen Qingqiu turned to look away, fanning himself to cool off. “… It’s embarrassing, that’s why. Not calling him my husband in public won’t change the fact he’s mine.”
“He craves validation, so you could call him that more often. He’ll be happy for it—but I guess your ass will have to be sacrificed. Maybe you should hold off on it after all.”
“You truly are a shameless bastard.” Shen Qingqiu hissed, glaring at his good friend from behind his fan. The tips of his ears were beet red with embarrassment. “Maybe you should wear a pet collar around your neck and grovel pitifully at your husband’s feet, begging for him to bed you.” Shen Qingqiu returned fire with his own attack!
How’s that!?
“You say that like I don’t do that already.” He lied.
!!! TRULY SHAMELESS! He’d sooner die than do that in front of Luo Binghe! He lost, he didn’t have a thick enough face to bear it!
Speaking of their demon husbands, the rustling of the leaves alerted the two them that they weren’t alone in the forest.
“Shizun, this Disciple thought it best to bring Mobei Jun to escort Martial Uncle back home. Have I misjudged the situation?”
Mobei Jun stood impassively next to Luo Binghe, staring his wife down with an intense gaze, as if he were asking if Shang Qinghua was going to return obediently, or would he have to smack him a few times before they return home?
“Da Wang! You came to pick me up?” The smaller male rushed over to the side of his ice husband’s side, face beaming with excitement and affection. It was one thing to be excited to see your ideal man in the flesh, but to know he was worried enough to reach out for help in cheering him up? Just how much can Mobei Jun spoil him behind the scenes?
It was clear as day that Shang Qinghua loved his husband very much. What else would you expect when he was Shang Qinghua’s ideal man?
“Let’s go.” Mobei Jun carefully led them back home, with an arm draped around Shang Qinghua’s small shoulders.
“Wait.” Shang Qinghua paused to look backwards, “Thanks for listening, Shen Qingqiu.”
“You’re welcome to come by any time to talk with his Master.” Hopefully the next time, they could talk about things less depressing in nature. They could talk about more positive things, like memes they missed from back home on Earth, or the last celebrity gossip they remembered.
With that, the other married couple left to return to their own home.
Now that they’ve finished that… how much did those two hear? Shen Qingqiu didn’t know if he should ask the question or not. If he simply ignored it… maybe he could… save himself some face?
“Wife, will you listen to this husband’s request? Once I inquire on where to find this 'pet collar', would you please—”
“Another word and I’ll have you sleep outside.” Shen Qingqiu’s harsh words made Luo Binghe almost swallow his words, but he was determined!
“Would you allow me to grovel for you?”
T-THIS INCURABLE M!
Shen Qingqiu wanted to dig Luo Binghe into a big hole and keep him there. Maybe that way, the sun beating on his head would cure him of his idiocy!
“How long had you two been listening?”
“Since my wife said he needn’t call me ‘Husband’ in public because I belong to you. I wholeheartedly agree, so will my ‘wife’ allow this ‘husband’ to grovel as he is punished for not giving his ‘wife’ any face?”
This Disciple is never giving his Shizun any face!
You get that from your creator, don’t you!?