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When Liam woke up, Zayn’s side of the bed was empty. The sheets had long ago gone cold, like he had been gone for a while, and Liam immediately felt worry clog up his throat. He glanced a look at the clock by their bed, the red letters blinking 4:30 back at him.
He could think of several reasons why Zayn would be up at this time, and most of them weren’t good. His mind flashed back to a time when Zayn was always up at this time—images of Zayn’s bloodshot eyes and bruised knuckles; hoarse voices and deafening silences filtered through Liam’s brain.
The last time Liam had gotten used to waking up to cold sheets was not a time he liked to dwell on. Zayn and him weren’t in a good place then, but they were now which is why his immediate reaction was worry. There had been several developments since they’d been in such a bad place; one of them being their daughter. Liam hadn’t heard any noise from the monitor which worried him. If she had been crying and he hadn’t woken up he would have felt awful. What if the next time she started crying he couldn’t hear her then, either? If something happened to her because Liam didn’t wake up, he’d never forgive himself.
His heart was in his throat as he approached the door to their nursery, his pulse beating out an erratic rhythm because he couldn’t hear anything. There was not telltale sign of danger and that scared him. He silently pushed the door open, ready to rush in and to their daughter’s side when he came to an abrupt stop right there in the doorway. The sight before him took his breath away.
Zayn was standing there with their daughter in his arms, humming something under his breath and bouncing her back and forth. He was running his index finger across her cheek, the sweetest smile on his lips and Liam melted. That was their daughter Zayn was holding. Their daughter he was humming to and smiling at like that. This was his whole world stood in front of him; Liam was looking at his family, and fuck but did that thought send a shock of happiness through him. They’d worked so hard to get to where they were at—to moments like these—that Liam couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of love and belonging. Starting a family with Zayn has been his dream for a long time, longer than he even realized, and now here they were.
Zayn hadn’t noticed Liam yet, so he quietly leaned against the doorjamb, content to watch the two people he loved most in the world. Zayn’s face was awash in love and wonder, and Liam couldn’t blame him. He was pretty sure his own expression was similar.
The bundle in Zayn’s arms let out a little gurgle, causing Zayn to cut off his humming. Liam watched as Zayn smoothed his palm over her soft hair, making a comforting noise in his throat.
“It’s okay,” Zayn whispered. “It’s alright, sweet girl. You don’t have to worry, I’m here. I’ll always be here, yeah? Whenever you need me. Me and your daddy are always gonna be here, baby. Always.”
Liam involuntarily made a noise, a soft sound that escaped him despite his best efforts to keep it quiet. It was just…seeing Zayn with their daughter, promising her things like that? How was he not supposed to fall a little more in love with him?
Zayn looked up at Liam’s noise, a smile falling carelessly over his lips when he realized Liam was watching them.
“What’re you doin’ ‘sides creepin’ on us?” Zayn’s voice was still a whisper, unwilling to do anything to disturb the sleeping bundle in his arms.
“Woke up and you were gone, thought I’d go look for you. Glad I did.”
Zayn ducked his head down, focusing his attention back on their daughter as his smile turned into something sweet and shy. It was one of the smiles that made Liam fall head first for the boy. He couldn’t say he regretted it at all, not for a moment.
“Couldn’t sleep.” Zayn once again brought his index finger across their baby’s cheek. It was something he often did to Liam. He once confessed that it comforted him—something about memorizing Liam’s face and enforcing that what they had was real; that Liam was there. “Thought seeing her would help, y’know?”
Liam felt his heart constrict in his throat because he did. He liked to think he knew Zayn better than most—better than himself, if he was being honest—and he had an inkling of what Zayn was telling him without actually saying. He came in here to prove to himself that this was real—that they had started a family, and this was actually their lives. Liam understood that feeling intimately. He’s been so genuinely happy lately that sometimes he has to pinch himself. None of it feels real. After everything they’ve been through, sometimes Liam doesn’t feel like they’re supposed to have this; the worlds been conspiring against them for so long that this inexplicable joy just doesn’t make sense.
But this is their lives. Liam knows that. He’s so fucking grateful for that. And when the doubt does creep in, Liam always forces himself out of those thoughts because he wouldn’t trade his life for anything. Nothing could convince him to give up the two in front of him.
Liam crossed the room, not stopping until he was stood right in front of Zayn. “Hey, you know you don’t have to worry, either, yeah? I’m here, I promise I’ll always be here. We’re in this together. You and I.” Zayn looked up at Liam, the doubt in his eyes well hidden to the untrained eye. Liam knew better, though. He brought a hand up to Zayn’s cheek, leaning in until their daughter was cushioned in between their chests.
“We deserve this, Zed. Our family,” Liam breathed. Zayn’s expression went soft, the love in his eyes stealing the breath from Liam’s lungs. Liam pressed his forehead to Zayn’s, his free hand coming up to rest against the arm Zayn had wrapped around their daughter.
“We’re gunna rock it as parents. It’s gunna be us three against the world,” Liam murmured.
“Yeah, Leeyum. Always. I love you.” And the smile Liam gave Zayn in return was blinding.