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She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t sleep so she didn’t bother staying in bed. She got up, packed her things, checked out of the roadside motel, got on her bike and rode off. It was an hour until the sun rose, but she didn’t want to wait. There was no use sitting around and avoiding her own thoughts so she figured getting a headstart on her trip back would be better use of her time.
Lou had been in California for at least a month. When she left New York, she hadn’t made any concrete plans as to how long she’d stay out West, she just knew that now, after Debbie coming home, after the heist, after not needing to worry about much else anymore… she had a lot of spare time to think about where she’d go next. What she’d do next, if anything at all, and with whom.
Debbie Ocean was back in her life just like Lou knew she would be again. She was back, out of jail and judging from the way everything had gone over so smoothly, she was at the top of her game. Lou didn’t want to be presumptuous, she wanted to know if Debbie wanted her back in the same way Lou wanted Debbie back. They were partners, of course that was never a doubt in either of their minds, but would things ever be the same again between them? Would they ever mean the same to each other?
As Lou drove she noticed the sun begin to rise. She couldn’t wait to get back to New York, but God would she miss this. Driving up the PCH with the smell of the salt from the sea wafting into her helmet, the ever present dust as she whisked over the pavement and only one thing on her mind.
She thought about Debbie her entire time there. She thought about Debbie the entire time she’d been incarcerated. In fact, she can’t remember a time, since they met, where Debbie wasn’t on her mind in some way. She thought about the way Debbie smiled and how it always seemed like she was hiding a secret from everyone else in the room. How with her smile Debbie could push any mark off the precipice and have them falling into her abyss in moments.
She thought about Debbie’s eyes. She loved those eyes and would do anything to be able to wake up to them watching her forever. Lou never liked to be stared at or watched, but Debbie’s gaze was different. Never judgemental or filled with assumptions about her and her past. Always curious and filled with respect, depth and a certain mystery that Lou would be happy chasing after until her last breath.
Lou thought about how Debbie could be going through a storm and you’d never know it, she’d never let it show. Well, at least most people wouldn’t. But Lou knew her, probably to her detriment sometimes but she wouldn’t change it for the world. She thought about how Debbie had quietly cried in the room next to hers after Debbie’s first visit to the cemetery. Debbie wasn’t completely sure Danny was in that mausoleum, but she mourned him as if he was. She remembers turning over in bed in the middle of that same night and finding Debbie there, curled up like a scared child staring at her with big, wet eyes.
“What if he’s really in there?”
She slowly and carefully took Debbie’s hand and held it against her chest. Not a word exchanged and soon Debbie’s eyes fluttered shut and she was sound asleep. Lou lied awake in her bed wondering how she’d gone almost six years without once being able to look into her dark eyes.
Lou thought about the first time she saw Debbie in action, really saw her. She saw every small, calculated move Debbie made. How Debbie could tell in a matter of minutes whether a mark would be successful or not. Whether she could take them for all they were worth or if it would be a waste of her time. How she’d ask questions she already knew the answers to and had to pretend to be impressed. How Debbie never aimed, but also never missed. Debbie Ocean was a thief, but she was also so much more, especially to Lou.
She thought about how stubborn Debbie was. About how frustrating it was to deal with and how she was thankful for it every day. Debbie never gave in, she just found a way to work around an obstacle. She was set in her ways and some would consider that a hindrance but Lou saw it for what it was. Lou saw Debbie’s perseverance and determination like few others had seen. Not even Danny had the same amount of patience to deal with Debbie’s streak of stubborness that Lou did.
Lou thought about Debbie convincing her to be partners, all the promises that were made. Debbie could steal your watch, sell it back to you for twice its worth and make it sound like she’s doing you a favor. It was such a simple thing, but it left Lou speechless. She thought about all the times Debbie had left her speechless, whether good or bad. She thought about how Debbie brought out feelings in her she had never felt with anyone else. Feelings that made her realize she couldn’t always control her feelings, not for Debbie anyway. Debbie brought out the best and the worst in her and Lou was scared to death the first time she realized that.
She vaguely recalls passing a sign telling her she’d just left Pennsylvania. She remembers a job they’d pulled there. A job that Lou originally hadn’t wanted to take, but Debbie assured her it would work, it would be alright. She remembers the contacts Rusty had put Debbie in contact with and how her and Debbie had felt safe going in knowing that. How when they tried to double cross Debbie and cut her out Debbie had already noticed long before they’d even tried and pulled out the rug from under them. Debbie was fair, which in this line of work translated to kindness, but her face would darken at the first sign of betrayal. Debbie believed in honor among thieves and steadfastly practiced that. Debbie Ocean was many things, but she was nobody’s fool. Which was what all anyone talked about now that the last person who double crossed her had been taken care of.
Lou pulled up to the loft and turned off her bike. She stood next to it, helmet in hand, and stared at the setting sun. She remembered the sunsets she’d seen while in California and she was sure she’d never see anything as beautiful again. She thought about a life on the road, riding her bike from town to town. Spending a couple of nights in each town, how she could do that now that she had more money than she knew what to do with. She thought about what Debbie would say to that idea, about if she would even entertain that idea. Her thoughts turned to Debbie again and what she was to her, what they were to each other. She turned around at the sound of the side door to the loft opening. She saw Debbie in the doorway, arms crossed and a slight smile.
“You gonna stay out here all night or are you coming in?”
Lou didn’t care about thinking anymore. She’d spent the last week thinking about everything too much. She’d spent more time than she cared to admit going over and over the last two months and what that meant for her life. Would Debbie stay in New York after her parole was up? Would she be reason enough for Debbie to stay? Would Debbie even want her in the same way again after all this time?
As she unstrapped her things from her bike she felt a hand on her shoulder turning her around. Debbie was there in front of her, with the same smile that held a secret and the eyes that held Lou captive effortlessly. Debbie steps into her space and kisses her softly and slowly. Debbie grabs her helmet and walks towards the door.
“Let’s go inside, it’s supposed to rain soon.”
Lou decided then and there that she didn’t care what the future held as long as Debbie was with her. Debbie the thief, the ex con, the con artist, the love of Lou’s life.
She would always be that woman to Lou.