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1. Shake it real fast, you get a little more (Money) by arguablysomaya

   Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)  

   • Not Rated
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Gen
   • Complete Work

   16 Apr 2019

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
   • The Hargreeves Family
   • Klaus Hargreeves
   • Diego Hargreeves
   • Ben Hargreeves
   • Background & Cameo Characters
   • Mildly Dubious Consent
   • Drug Addiction
   • Prostitution
   • Character Study
   • My First Work in This Fandom
   • the author puts off other work for this fic
   • idk what tf this is tbh
   • but im posting it
   • Not Beta Read

   Summary

   “I remember my firs- oh, no, I don’t.”

   To be fair, he’s only slightly exaggerating when he tells Luther this. He does remember what lead up to his first time. He remembers what came afterward. The middle, the big shebang- yeah, it’s all a blur.

   Other kids have playgrounds and bedtime stories. The Hargreeves get issues so deep it would take a nuclear-powered drill to dig it all up.
   ---
   My take on how Klaus lost his v-card.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   3,442

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   10

   Kudos:

   249

   Bookmarks:

   32

   Hits:

   1,989