Work Text:
Sirius was always a bit of a fitful sleeper, one minute he’s too hot the next too cold, one position hurts his back the other his neck the few moments of rest he could steal were anything but restful as they were plagued by dreams of the past, dreams of death, of memories he constantly tried to put behind him. He felt bad for Remus its doubtful he ever gets a good night’s sleep with Sirius in his bed. After waking up for what felt like the hundredth time Sirius gave up deciding it was a reasonable enough hour to just get up and let Remus actually sleep for a while. Sirius snagged the speaker they kept on the nightstand as he slid out of bed and headed to the bathroom for his morning routine, hunger pangs shot through his body just as he was applying the last layer of acne medication. Slipping past the still sleeping form of his partner Sirius made his way to the kitchen promptly beginning a pot of coffee and gathering ingredients while soft music continued issuing from the speaker he brought with him. Pouring himself a cup of the now brewed coffee Sirius set to work on making pancake batter. Just as he began to pour the batter into the sizzling butter on the pan Sirius noticed movement past him out of the corner of his eye. Unsurprised when he felt strong arms snake around his torso, Sirius leaned back into the sturdy chest feeling Remus rest his chin on his shoulder and nuzzle his face into the crook of his neck.
“Good morning love… rough night?” Remus’ voice was still gravely from sleep, Sirius could feel it vibrate through his body making him shiver slightly.
“I’m sorry I woke you up, I just couldn’t get back to sleep. You know how it goes unless I work myself bone tired; I’m not going to sleep through the night. I’m sorry I make you suffer because I can’t function like a normal human being.” Sirius sighed and flipped the pancakes in the pan.
The arms around his torso tightened holding him close, “Pads, don’t be sorry, I sleep like the dead and you know your insomnia has never bothered me. What’s wrong love?” he asked into the others shoulder. Setting the last of the pancakes aside Sirius turned the stove off then tuned into Remus’ secure embrace and buried his face into the soft sweater covered chest.
“I just… I don’t even know. I woke up, and I’m just so sad, what the hell is wrong with me?”
“Love, Sirius look at me.” Sirius pulled back a bit from where his Remus to look at his face, “There is nothing even remotely close to being ‘wrong’ with you. You are perfect the way you are, this sadness its just a part of you and I know that its hard sometimes. I know that some days you don’t even see the point in trying to go to bed because you know you wont sleep. But I also know that when its too hard you get help, you come to me, you talk to Dr. McKinnon, and that’s why I know you are going to be alright. I will always be right here for you love.”
A small brief smile flicked over Sirius’ face as he buried it back in Remus’ sweater, “I love you Moony.” Sirius murmured, not even a second later his stomach decided it was done with the morning chat and let out an audible growl.
Chuckling lightly Remus broke apart from their embrace, “I love you too. Let’s eat, the pancakes look delicious oooh you put chocolate chips in! That’s my favorite!”
This time it was Sirius turn to laugh as they poured syrup and whip cream onto their breakfast, “You are a child.” Fresh coffee and food in hand the two left the kitchen to sit together on their old worn couch. And the couch is were they stayed for most of the morning, getting up occasionally to clear their breakfast dishes, to share a sweet sticky kiss, or to grab a book, they each curled up at the ends simply enjoying one another’s company while soft music played in the background. The morning sunlight was washing over them sitting together on that old couch Remus curled up with the novel he was currently reading, Sirius was so taken by the beautiful sight of the sunlight catching in Remus’ curls turning them into a honey gold and his eyes holding so much warmth as they flicked across the pages, that he grabbed his sketchbook off the coffee table and began to draw. Remus was so immersed in his story that he didn’t notice that Sirius had perfectly captured the way his lips would pout when he was trying to determine what would happen next, he didn’t notice how masterfully he replicated the curls that were still somewhat rumpled from sleep, he didn’t notice the way that Sirius was able to recreate his cozy posture as he curled into the pillows surrounding him.
It was the ping of a phone notification that broke both of them out of their own worlds. Looking up over the cover of his book Remus finally noticed Sirius watching him, he seemed somewhat content with his sketchbook but there was still a bit of sadness lurking in his eyes, the smile on his face when they see each other doesn’t reach his eyes like it normally does.
Lowering his book Remus got an idea, “Hey Pads?”
“Hum?”
“Do you want to do anything today?”
“Uh, I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”
“Well I was just thinking, it’s only 11:30ish we still have most of the day, so if you want, we could go out for a hike? The weather has been getting nicer so it should be somewhat warm.”
At these words Sirius felt a surge of affection for the other man. In the past whenever Sirius had felt lost or overwhelmed in his life he would flee into the woods, the calm and the quiet of being surrounded by trees and earth never failed to help ground him. Though he had never really talked to him about it, it seemed that Remus picked up on the habit of his.
Sirius’ real smile filled his face for the first time that morning, “That sounds amazing Re.”
The two quickly moved from the couch to get dressed, they grabbed packs, water bottles, and made themselves sandwiches to bring for lunch then headed out. The tiny shoe box cottage that they lived in was only a twenty-minute drive from some of the most beautiful hiking trails the two had ever seen, when they first moved in this was something that Sirius had secretly been overjoyed about.
Remus had been right about the weather, when the two got to the trails it was sunny and just warm enough to make them comfortable. As they walked through the trees, with the soft dirt shifting under their boots, and the sunshine streaming through the breaks in the branches just often enough to warm their faces the sadness that always seemed to linger in Sirius’ mind slowly faded away into the background. The two hiked the afternoon away only stopping to break for lunch, when they returned late in the evening, they were thoroughly exhausted, exhausted enough that Sirius was able to sleep through the night comforted by the memories of pancakes and sunshine and the love of his life.