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Thinking back on it, Tanaka knew exactly where he fucked up.
It was probably when Ennoshita stood in front of the club, Kinoshita and Narita on either side, and came out as gay. Like, absolutely terrified, looked a little pale, and Tanaka was kinda worried he might throw up.
“So, um, I hope that won’t be a problem for any of you,” he concluded, as if that was the important part. So what if their new captain was gay?
“Why would it be a problem?” Noya called out. “The only problem is I’ve been trying to get you a girlfriend all these years when I should’a been trying to get you a boyfriend! Sorry, Chika!”
The anxiety and tension melted away in an instant, and Ennoshita started begging Noya to just stop trying to set him up, for god’s sake. The rest of the team went about business as usual.
Tanaka didn’t get to say much while Noya talked, but he made sure to give his best, most encouraging smile to assure Ennoshita that he supported him! Why wouldn’t he? Tanaka, after all, was bi.
And then, he remembered.
For about a year, he’d been crushing on Ennoshita. But just like his crush on Kiyoko-san, if he thought about it as something that could never happen, then it was no big deal. If there was no reason to confess to him, then he didn’t have to think about it much.
But now? What if Ennoshita actually felt the same? Tanaka didn’t want to push his luck and then just be…out, but Ennoshita came out and everything was okay…
I have to figure out how to confess.
His plan to confess was going nowhere by the next practice a few days later. However, he did suddenly start stammering and blushing every time Ennoshita looked at/talked to him, so that was horrific.
He couldn’t make eye contact anymore, and he was dragging Noya to study time, because if he was alone with him, he might spontaneously combust.
And yeah, okay, looking back, he knew exactly where all of this could have been misunderstood.
He should have realized when Noya confronted him.
“Why are you acting so weird around Chikara?”
He stopped walking. “What?”
“You’re acting weird, you won’t look at him, and you don’t seem to want to be alone with him,” Noya listed. “You don’t have a problem with him coming out, do you? Because if you do, I’ll kick your ass.”
“What?” Tanaka gasped. “Of – of course I don’t have a problem with it! Yuu, I’m…” He looked around to make sure no one was around. “I’m bisexual. Why would I have a problem if Chikara’s gay? I’m fucking thrilled.”
Noya’s face went through shock, then understanding, and finally, a wide grin. “I can’t believe you like Chika–!”
“Shh!” Tanaka clamped his hand over Noya’s mouth. “That’s the problem. It was never a thing to think about before, but now it’s all I can think about. I don’t know how to…confess.”
Noya gasped and pulled Tanaka’s hand off his mouth. “You’re gonna confess?!”
“Yes.” Tanaka felt his cheeks heating up. “I have no idea how to, though. The only reason I could tell Kiyoko how much I loved her on a daily basis is because I already knew she’d reject me because she’s both gay and out of my league.”
“You think Ennoshita’s in you league?” Noya snorted.
“Yuu, please.”
“Teasing! You’re amazing, man, you know I think so. Look, you know Chika pretty well,” Noya reminded him. “I think you know what to say; you’re just scared. Totally natural and okay! Embrace the fact you’re terrified! Like I did, when I told Asahi-san that I love him!”
Tanaka gaped at him. “You – and Asahi-senpai?”
Noya grinned. “For a whole six months! Sorry I didn’t tell you, but I’m sure you get it. Since, you know, you’ve been hiding your crush on Chikara too, for the same reason.”
“Oh my god, that’s great!” Tanaka cheered. “Congratulations, man, six months late! How’d you tell him!”
“The same way I tell anyone anything!” Noya put his hands on his hips and took a power stance. “I shouted it up at him and hoped for the best!”
“You’re so cool, Noya,” Tanaka said, wiping away a fake tear. “So manly and awesome! But I can’t do that.”
“What? You’re like, the coolest, manliest dude I know. If anyone’s got this, it’s you,” Noya assured him, slapping him on the back. “Now, go on and get the guy! I’m not coming to your study session for the third time this week. I have a date. It is Friday, after all.”
Tanaka felt a pang of guilt. “I’ve been keeping you away from your boyfriend; I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to get you back at a later date by cock-blocking you constantly when you want to be alone with Chika,” Noya replied. “For now: go! Get that ass, Ryuu!”
“Right!”
Tanaka did not get that ass, as Noya so delicately had put it. As a matter of fact, when Ennoshita showed up to his house, he barely got out a hi as he ushered him inside.
They sat on different sides of his table, Ennoshita working on homework and Tanaka chewing his lip, drumming his fingers, and wondering how the fuck he was supposed to bring up any of this.
“Are you alright?” Ennoshita asked, dropping his pencil and looking up with concern. “You’ve been off all week.”
“Huh?” Tanaka snapped out of his daze and stared at Ennoshita. He knows, he sees right through me, he’s so good at analyzing people, I’ve been found out–
“Ryuu, you know you can tell me anything, right? So, if you like a girl or got rejected or have a weird dream or something, I don’t care, you can tell me.”
I could work with this, Ryuu’s one functioning brain cell realized.
His mouth, slow to catch up, just said, “Huh?” again, more alarmed than the first time.
Ennoshita searched his eyes for a few quiet moments, and Tanaka wanted to look away, but he must’ve been a masochist, because he always liked how Ennoshita looked when he was analyzing like this.
“This all started after I came out.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.
“I – uh – what started?” Playing dumb was probably Tanaka’s best option, given that it was the closest thing to the truth.
“If you have a problem with it, then–”
“I didn’t say that,” Tanaka interrupted, leaning across the table. “No! I don’t! Obviously!”
“I didn’t think you of all people would,” Ennoshita continued. He could probably tell that he was onto something here. “I mean, after your crush on Daichi-san last year, I thought you of all people would get it.”
“My what on who,” Tanaka gasped. No one knows about Daichi-san. That was a well-kept secret, I swear.
Ennoshita frowned. “Never mind. I guess I misread that. I made assumptions. Forgive me.” He stood up. “I’ll leave now, since you’re obviously uncomfortable being alone with me.”
“No, I’m not!” Tanaka pleaded, rushing to follow him to the door.
“You’re honestly going to tell me that you acting weird around me has nothing to do with my being gay?” Ennoshita searched his eyes once more. “Right. That’s what I thought.”
“But–!” Tanaka’s voice wasn’t working on his side at the moment, and he could only stare as Ennoshita left.
This was all his stupid fault for having a stupid crush that he thought he could act on.
“Ryuu~!”
Shit, that’s just what I fucking need.
His door was thrown back open, and Saeko stood looking in, arms crossed. “Why did Chikara leave in such a hurry? I thought he was staying for dinner.”
Tanaka knew that his sister would understand, but he wasn’t really sure how to start this conversation.
“You two have a fight or somethin’?” she asked, inviting herself to sit down by him. “C’mon. Tell Nee-san all about it.”
“I’m actually not sure,” he admitted. “I think I did something wrong? But I don’t know how, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“That’s because you’re an idiot,” she replied, pulling him into a headlock and rubbing her knuckles on his head. “How’d you fuck up? Tell me everything. I’ll fix this for you.”
“Ack, Nee-san.” He pushed her off of him. “Chikara came out as gay last week.”
Her teasing stopped, and she sat up straight to listen. She obviously knew this was a serious conversation.
“I’ve – uh – well – liked him? Since last year.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened a little. “I didn’t know that.”
Tanaka nodded and scratched his neck. “Well, I never thought about it too much, ’cause I didn’t think he’d ever feel the same, so why bother, ya know?”
“Sure,” she said, nodding. “But I’m guessing that changed?”
“Well, he came out, so I thought, maybe I have a chance, except that went to my head and I got all nervous because I’ve never had a chance before.” He stared at his lap. “I started getting nervous around him and it was hard to be alone and I can’t even look at him without blushing anymore, which is humiliating.”
“That’s usually how a crush feels, yeah,” she offered. “So, what happened?”
“He, uh, confronted me. Kinda?”
“But not about the crush,” she guessed.
“No. About the rest of it.” He started drumming his fingers again. “He thinks I have a problem with him coming out, but every time I tried to say I didn’t, it just came out all stupid because I only have one functioning brain cell around him apparently.”
“Ryuu, you’ve got to tell him the full truth,” she said, standing up. “That’s your solution. Otherwise, Chikara’s going to think you hate him now or something. He must be just as terrified as you. That’s gotta make you feel better about telling him.”
He nodded, standing as well. “I have to find him, like, now.”
“Get out, go,” she said, shoving him through the house. “Seriously. You need to fix this. Like, ASAP. Go.”
That was how Tanaka ended up in the pouring rain, soaked to the bone, trying to find Ennoshita. It was like some gross movie cliché that it was raining. Shouted confessions in the dark streets – ew. He was going to kick his own ass later for doing this in such a sappy way.
Finally, he spotted Ennoshita, standing under the awning of Ukai’s store like he was debating going in to wait out the rain.
“Chikara!” Tanaka called out before he even had a chance to think about it.
Ennoshita startled and spun around, staring at him in surprise. Tanaka was sure that he was a sight right then – completely drenched and looking panicked.
“What do you want?” Ennoshita yelled back.
“To apologize!” Tanaka picked up the pace to get closer. “I don’t care that you’re gay! Well, no, I do care! I care too much! I – shit – I’m literally the worst at this!”
Ennoshita stepped out from under the awning. “What the fuck are you on about?”
This is it, he told himself. He bit his lip and waved his arms vaguely. “You know!”
Ennoshita shot him an incredulous look. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”
Actions speak louder than words, he decided, marching closer. “Chikara.”
Ennoshita tensed up a little. “Tanaka, if you’re uncomfortable, we don’t have to be alone. It’s – look, I don’t love it, but – it’s fine. I mean, we don’t have to–”
Tanaka grabbed Ennoshita’s face and looked into his eyes for a second before getting embarrassed and looking up at the dark sky.
“Ryuu?” Ennoshita’s voice was small and confused.
“Ah, fuck.”
Tanaka squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Ennoshita’s face a little closer before realizing he didn’t really know what he was doing here. He’d never kissed anyone before, and he probably should’ve at least looked for where Ennoshita’s lips were first.
Ennoshita huffed a laugh when their noses bumped. Tanaka took that as a good sign and peaked an eye open.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Ennoshita tilted his head to meet Tanaka’s lips, just for a second before pulling back.
“So, um.” Ennoshita pulled away enough to look at him. “So, that’s why you’ve been acting stupid?”
“I like you,” Tanaka said, as if that wasn’t already blaringly obvious. “Since last year.”
Ennoshita hummed, and it looked like he was trying to look calm and uninterested, but his eyes were bright and a smile was tugging at his lips.
“And you thought I was straight, so you never said anything?”
“Right!”
“But now that you know I’m not straight, you wanted to say something,” Ennoshita continued, nodding in understanding.
“Yes?”
“Except you’re stupid when you like someone.” Ennoshita laughed and poked Tanaka’s forehead. “I’m so glad it’s just that. I thought you wanted to stop being friends with me or something.”
Tanaka started to regain confidence. He took a deep breath. “Well, you were right, in a way. I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”
“Hm?” Ennoshita’s brow furrowed.
“I would, however, like to be your boyfriend from here on out.” He stepped back and bowed. “If you’d have me, ’n all that.”
“Oh, my god, stand up!” Ennoshita gasped, pulling the back of Tanaka’s shirt. “That’s so embarrassing!”
Tanaka grinned. “If you think this is embarrassing, you should just wait and see what it’s like when I start professing my love to you on a daily basis in front of the club.”
“As your captain, I forbid you from doing that,” Ennoshita mumbled, moving to hide his face in his hands.
Tanaka caught his wrists and tugged them back down. “As your vice-captain, I’m gonna veto that.”
“You can’t veto that.”
“Suga vetoed like, all of Daichi’s orders.”
“Yeah, because Daichi was in love with Suga and let him do whatever,” Ennoshita laughed, turning his head. “Someone has to keep you in line though, and if it’s not me, then who?”
“Yacchan?” Tanaka offered, grinning wickedly.
Ennoshita shook his head as he tried to stop laughing. “Yeah, right.”
There was a quiet moment of just looking at each other before Ennoshita was leaning forward again, fingers tracing Tanaka’s cheekbone. Tanaka took the hint and leaned down for another kiss – longer, closer, breathing Ennoshita in.
When they separated, he smiled. “Is that a yes about the boyfriend thing?”
“Yeah,” Ennoshita breathed. “Yeah, that’s a yes.”
“OI!”
They jumped apart and looked to the store, where Coach Ukai was glowering at them.
“If you kids keep standing out there, you’re going to get sick! I need the captain and ace to be at practice! Go the hell home! And stop making out in front of my store!”
Ennoshita bowed. “S-sorry, Coach! We’ll be heading home now.”
Ukai tossed an umbrella to Tanaka. “Stay dry, and check the damn weather before you go on a walk. Stupid kids.” He went back inside the store.
Tanaka couldn’t help but laugh. “Ukai ever remind you of an old guy shakin’ his cane and yelling, ‘git off my lawn!’?”
Ennoshita snorted, taking the umbrella to open it. “I mean, yeah, a little.”
“Hey,” Tanaka said, grabbing Ennoshita’s hand, “let’s go back to my place. You still have to help me finish my homework, you know?”
“Fine, but I need a shower and dry clothes first,” Ennoshita sighed.
“Well, that could be arranged.” He smiled over at Ennoshita – his boyfriend, fuck yeah, that happened. “Forgive me for being a dumbass?”
“Yeah,” Ennoshita agreed, knocking their shoulders together. “I guess. You can make it up to me by finishing your maths.”
Tanaka gaped at him. “You’re going to use this to make me study and do my homework, aren’t you?”
“I’ll take what I can get. If you fail classes, we don’t get to go to training camps. We need our ace, you know.”
“Alright, alright,” Tanaka groaned, pretending to be disappointed.
“I’ll kiss you every time you get a problem right,” Ennoshita bargained.
Tanaka’s eyes widened. “I’m never going to get anything wrong again!” he vowed, punching the air. “What do I get for passing a quiz or test!”
“Nothing, unless it’s an impressive grade,” Ennoshita hummed, looking to the side. “You’d better study hard, Ryuunosuke.”
Tanaka nodded dutifully. “I’m going to have the best grades I’ve had my entire academic career!”
Ennoshita laughed. “Good.”
When they got back to Tanaka’s house, Saeko was sitting in the living room.
“Oi, lovebirds!” she called. “Bring the homework to the dining room! You’re not going to be in Ryuu’s bedroom all alone, got it!”
Tanaka flushed red and pulled his hand away from Ennoshita. “Nee-san.”
“I’m happy for you, but I do have a sisterly duty here,” she said simply.
Ennoshita hid a laugh behind his hand. “You heard her. Go get your homework.”
“Yeah, alright,” he muttered. “I still want a kiss for every correct math problem, though!”
“Maybe.”
“Chika,” Tanaka whined.
“I’ll consider it.”
“This is all just a scam to make me study, isn’t it?”
“That’s a very real possibility.”
Tanaka pouted, but he knew it wasn’t true. It was pretty easy to tell – how Ennoshita was smiling at him, soft and fond like he’d never smiled before. Yeah, he was going to get the best grades from here on out. All because he also was going to have the best boyfriend.