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Steve feels like he might be going insane.
His brain wouldn’t stop replaying the moment when Tony turned into dust right before his eyes. Steve was entirely paralyzed by shock, and there was nothing he could do.
“Steve.” Tony choked, his bright brown eyes looking right at him with confusion and fear. The next second, he was gone.
Steve didn't even have time to say his name.
It’s been hours since the decimation had occurred, half of the universe’s population just disappeared without a trace. The government is in disarray. The people are terrified and begging for answers.The world has fallen into chaos, and Captain America is……is lying on his bed in a comatose state.
He can’t think. He can’t process anything. He wants to tell himself it’s all a horrible nightmare and tomorrow he will open his eyes to Tony Stark’s warm smile. Tony would kiss his forehead and call him silly for thinking someone can take him away from Steve so easily. Tony did this every time Steve had a nightmare. This can’t be real.
Please let him wake up.
It is real.
He feels like he is drowning. Like 70 years ago when he sank into the ice and water in the Valkyrie. The warmth he needed that was finally found in Tony’s love has been rudely torn from him, and he can’t stop himself from yearning, pleading, to have it in his life one more time.
Is this punishment? For not loving Tony enough? For not being a good enough partner to him? Please, he can do better so please, please give him a chance, please, please, please he can do so much better.
Even breathing is painful, just like when he was buried in water. His lungs are burning. He is shivering. It feels so cold all of the sudden. It is so cold and lonely without Tony.
He has only lost him for a few hours and he feels like life is draining out of him. Imagine living like this for a lifetime.
Is there even meaning to this life.
“Steve.” Nat appears behind the door, her eyes still clouded by pain and terror, her composure shattered. Yet, she is still holding it together better than Steve. “You have got to get up, Steve. We have to fix this.”
Fix this.
A sparkle of light rises in his eyes. Yes. There must be a way to undo all this. There must be hope.
There must be a way to bring Tony back. He will bring Tony back.
-
The remaining avengers gather at the compound. A glowing woman who knew Fury tells them she will fight with them. They will fix all of this. This has to work because Steve doesn’t know what to do if it doesn’t.
-
Steve spends all his time training. He stays up late into the night planning their tactical strategy. At night, he passes out on the bed he shared with Tony, dreaming of kissing his lover under the sun.
-
“You really are stubborn, Captain.” Thanos drawls, holding up his gauntlet tauntingly. Behind him, Steve can hear his teammates groan in pain. The infinity stones are too powerful, and they are dangerously out-powered.
“R-Rogers! We need to……regroup……” Captain Marvel pants, blue blood dripping from her forehead. Thanos saw through their plan. He saw through everything. “It’s not over yet Rogers! Fall back! Don’t let him get to your head!”
Steve doesn’t listen.
Every part of him aches as he gets up from the ground. If it isn’t for the serum, he should be dead by now. Blood is gushing out from the wound on his abdomen, but Steve doesn't care. He doesn’t feel. He only has one mission.
“I am going to get him back.” Steve growls at the purple alien standing before him, his grip tightening on his shield. “I can do this all day.”
“Poor soul. You really do love him.” Thanos almost sounds sympathetic, but Steve knows it is mockery in disguise. “Now, it is time for you to join him.” He closes his fist. The six infinity stones glow brightly beneath his gaze.
Steve screams, and charges at Thanos.