Work Text:
I.
I watched him take her hand, and I died a little. His fingers played inconspicuously with hers; with feather-like, almost unnoticeable touches. But oh boy, did I notice. It felt like he was playing my heartstrings instead.
From the other side of the hallway, I could only stand by as they joked around, laughing heartily. She was twirling a lose strand of hair around her finger with eyes that seemed to glimmer, a knowing smile poised on her lips and a dainty blush on her cheeks. I wished she would look at me like that. Like she did before.
I looked away and closed my locker, leaning into it. The fact that I was an idiot was something I had come to terms with a while ago. Because Marinette was Ladybug and Ladybug was Marinette and how could I have been so stupid not to notice the wonderful girl behind the mask back when I still had a chance. Back when she used to like me.
Luka Couffaine had, however. He’d seen her beautiful bluebell eyes, and her midnight black hair and the galaxy of freckles across her face and he’d appreciated them. He’d seen her kindness and her wit and her determination and he’d liked it. And now he was the one across the hall swallowing up her attention and playing with her fingers and making her laugh in a way I could only ever dream to.
It was probably a little bit more than I could take.
II.
We were in math class, and I was once again pondering about the pros and cons of confessing my feelings to Marinette, of finally coming clean and telling her who I was. That I knew who she was. That it's been her I have loved this entire time. In one hand, my opportunity was already over; I’d wasted my time and done nothing while I could, and now it looked she and Luka were seeing each other. But in the other hand, they weren’t a couple yet, so maybe, just maybe…
The last bell rang and everyone stood up from their seats. She ran past me in her haste to get out, but my lips opened to their own accord and I managed to stop her just before she reached the door. This was it, the opportunity I had been waiting for. I had to take it.
“Yes, Adrien?” She turned around with an expectant look in her eyes and a smile as sweet as sugar and her name died in my throat. Panic rose inside me, and I felt my tongue tie itself in knots. It was the only thing that it seemed to be able to do these days, when I was around her.
“Uh, um… I…” were the intelligent words that made it out of my mouth. She looked so pretty with her hair slightly tousled and her glossy lips, and what I wouldn’t give to kiss them is something I have yet to find out.
She giggled behind one of her hands and, help me God, I nearly fainted out of her adorableness. “You?”
Okay, I could do this. I just had to breathe. “I… I was wondering if you could pass me your notes? I got a little distracted in class.” And just like that, I ruined it. Again. There were so many things I could have said instead.
You’re cute, Marinette. You’re funny, Marinette. I like you, Marinette. Was that so hard?!
A fond smile downed on her face. “Sure! Here,” she fumbled with her backpack for a moment before extending a pink, flower-patterned notebook for me to take. “You can bring it back tomorrow.”
I approached her with absentminded steps, wondering if she could hear the erratic beating of my heart in the short second in which our hands touched. I thanked her after I took it and continued to curse at myself for being an idiot as I watched her leave.
III.
It was Friday afternoon and the rain was pouring and my heart was sinking down to my stomach. Lunch time was over, and I was just getting out of the car when I saw it. To my right, giggles and chuckles and rushed footsteps could be heard as Luka and Marinette made their way to the entrance. They were precariously protected from the rain by Luka’s thick jacket draped over them. They were also walking very close to each other; the blue haired boy’s arm around her shoulders to keep her from getting wet.
I couldn’t help but think back to that rainy day a couple of years back, when it was me sheltering her from the storm by giving her the same umbrella I was holding in my hands now. I didn’t think anything of it back then, overwhelmed to have made a friend of my own accord. But now, as I watched them reach the top of the stairs, snickering and talking in hushed voices, the memory left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth that I soon realized I wasn’t fond of.
And then he stepped away from under the jacket, and accommodated it on her shoulders. A dash of pink colored Marinette’s face. Finally, she stepped forward and planted a delicate kiss on his cheek. My umbrella clattered to the ground, and my heart crumbled to pieces.
“Hey man, you okay?” I heard Luka ask he climbed down the stairs. I struggled to pick up my umbrella before staring up at him. He had already parted from Mari and was standing in front of me before I’d managed to gather my scattered emotions.
My words felt heavy and my smile forced as I answered. “Yeah, just… you know, the wind.” There was no wind, but he didn’t question me. The tight-lipped smile on his face let me know that he understood exactly what had happened. He knew I’d noticed, too. He patted my back and squeezed my shoulder in a silent apology, before waving back at Mari and walking away.
Marinette was still at the top of the stairs, wrapped up in his jacket and with her mouth quirked up just a little as she watched him leave. She glanced at me then, our eyes locked, and thunder rumbled from afar.
It made me want to turn back time to right so many wrongs.
IV.
Luka Couffaine was nice. He was really nice, in fact. And that was the problem, because I couldn’t help but feel guilty for the jealousy that ate away at my insides whenever he was close to Marinette. Whenever he looked at her the way that I would; with stars in his eyes and red in the tip of his ears. Whenever he did all the things I knew that I could; like tucking the lose strands of her hair behind her ear –what he was doing right now.
It was a slightly windy day. She was wearing a sundress and her hair was down and she looked like a walking daydream. We were at one of the many parks in Paris with some friends hoping to find André and treat ourselves to some ice cream.
I didn’t want to come for two very valid reasons. The first, all of my friends had come in pairs, except for me. The second, I didn’t want to spend the entire afternoon looking at Marinette with Luka and wishing that was me instead. The only reason I was here was because Nino had insisted, and I couldn’t find it in myself to argue.
I was still sulking by the time we spotted André, and we all walked quickly to the small stand. After a few warm greetings, the large man started to concoct his “love potions” in the shape of ice cream. Everyone was ecstatic. First were Mylenne and Ivan, who got their respective treats that resembled each other. Next were Nino and Alya. Then were Juleka and Rose. Everyone seemed happy with the flavors they had gotten – bright and reminiscent of their significant others.
André noticed me next, and after seeing that I was alone, he smiled big and beckoned me over.
“Ah, young man! I see you didn’t bring any company. I might have just what you need, magic ice cream to bring that lucky lady to you.” I smiled in spite of myself at the irony, and thought about how there was nothing he could do, as said lady was already standing beside me, but in the arms of another.
“Do they really work?” I asked, mostly to indulge him.
André smiled while preparing my cone, “but of course!” He passed it to me when he was done, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”
This time, my ice cream was different. It didn’t resemble Ladybug, but Marinette – even though they were the same person. The corner of my mouth quirked up, and my heart fluttered in my chest. There was something incredibly wholesome in knowing that I loved both halves of her. Even if it was just one-sided. I thanked André and stepped aside to give way to Marinette and Luka.
The moment he saw Mari, his eyes widened and he tried to look discreetly at me, but I averted my gaze quickly. The man then noticed Luka, and his eyebrows scrunched up as realization downed on him. Appearing a bit uncomfortable, André prepared Marinette’s ice-cream with practiced ease.
He proceeded with his usual speech. “Pink for his lips, green like his eyes,” but Luka’s eyes weren’t green. They were blue. I lifted my gaze to find Marinette looking at Luka, and then looking at me, bewildered. My eyes were green. “Eat this, and your love will come to you.”
My breath hitched as her unwavering stare settled on me, but I didn’t look away. She smiled shyly, eyes glinting in a gaze so full of complicity that my lungs nearly collapsed. She finally glanced away, and a glimmer of hope flourished in my chest. Because yes, I really wished that was me.
And for the first time in forever, I believed that I could be.