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Everything was still. It was a cool late summer evening; the sun was just starting to set, turning the sky into a show of colors. Not even the wind dared to disturb the tranquility. The air smelled like the lilac tree Sirius was sitting next to. Everyone else had already gone to bed and left him alone with his thoughts, which some people might look as a positive thing, but in this case, Sirius was drifting into dangerous waters. Every self doubting thought and every cruel thing his mother has said to him had come back during the day. He didn’t even remember what started the stream of negativity , but it had caused a flood inside his head.
They haven’t even been at the cabin that long, but at some point, during the day Sirius had just started to feel the dread of panic and anxiety. It might have been something the other guys said, but he really didn’t really dwell on that, what was done was done and now he just had to deal with the consequences.
He needed distractions and he needed them NOW. With that thought, he rose from his sitting position with determination shining on his face and started to walk up the stone path he came from. He wasn’t sure where he was going or what he was going or what he was going to do when he got there, but he knew if he didn’t do something to avert his attention from his thoughts it wasn’t going to end well . He remembered the muggle village they had passed on the way to the cabin, and if he remembered correctly it was just a short walking distance away from his current location. He wasn’t sure what he would do once he makes it to the village, but he hoped there would be something to get his mind off these horrible memories.
After a while of walking and almost getting lost he finally made it to the village. There weren’t many people around and the few people that were, mostly just sat in their own little bubbles. Sirius walked past them all. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to strangers. They might have helped him to get his mind off of things, but he really didn’t think he’d be the best of company right now.
He really should have thought this plan through. What distractions could be offered if he didn’t even talk to people. He put his hands into his pockets and started walking faster. He pulled his jacket closer and kept his gaze on the ground. He was becoming conscious of all the people, even if there only was a few. He could feel they're eyes burning into him. His eyes started to burn and he could feel the tears starting to form. This wasn’t good. He needed to find someplace to hide. Turning to an alley and sitting down next to some cardboard boxes, hiding him from view, accepting the outcome and letting the tears finally fall. Sirius couldn’t fight his mind anymore and it all came rushing back. His family, his friends, all the horrible things he had done. No matter how hard he tried he would still be just like the rest of his family. How could they forgive him? How could Remus forgive him? He didn’t deserve they're forgiveness. They should have just left him rot and pay the price.
But they forgiven him. He didn’t deserve them. He could feel the tears soaking through his jeans and he pressed his hands to his hands to his eyes and tried to focus on staying silent. Then he heard rustling coming from the box next to him. His head shot up and turned to the box, trying to see through the tears still clouding his eyes. After he wiped his eyes o n his sleeves and could see clearly. It was a cat. An orange long haired cat with white spots on its face staring at him with light green eyes. The cat tilted its head and sat down, as if assessing him.
Sirius could only stare back at the cat dumb founded for a moment until he snapped out of it. ” Hi there, you lost?” god his voice sounded weak. The cat just kept staring at him, slightly tilting its head to the opposite side. Now that he properly looked at the cat, he could see the rough edges. It wasn’t wearing a collar and it was dirty enough to make the white spots to seem grey. The most noticeable detail thought was a big jagged scar running over its left eye. The previously green eye had turned white. The cat ,as if made up its mind about him, got up and started walking towards him and squeezed itself onto his lap, between his stomach and legs.
Sirius only stared at the cat currently making itself comfortable on his lap. He hadn’t heard of muggle animals being friendly towards strangers, especially ones living on the streets. It must have been a pet at some point, but ended up on the street. He had lifted his arms the moment the cat climbed onto his lap, but when the cat didn’t show any signs of moving he slowly lowered them and rested his left his arm on the cats back. He observed the cat resting peacefully and his mind started to wonder. Why was the cat there, it clearly didn’t have owners at the moment and if it did they weren’t doing a very good job of taking care of them. He could feel how light the cat actually was, the fur creating an illusion that the cat was bigger than it actually was. The scar wasn’t doing any favors for the imaginary owners in Sirius’ mind. He hadn’t even noticed that he had started to pet the cat, until it started purring. Sirius was startled out of his trance and smiled slightly. ”It’s okay buddy, I know how you feel” he scratched the cats chin and the purr got louder. Sirius ha started to smile properly now and started humming while petting the cat.
”I should probably call you something other than cat, huh?” Sirius only said that as a passing thought, but then he started to really think. What do people usually name cats. He wanted the name to have a meaning. The cat reminded him of the sun, brightening him even in his gloomiest moment. The fur really drove home the point, almost giving it a lions main, reminding him of a lion. ”Hmm, Godric?” If a cat could give deadpan look, this was it. The purring had stopped and the cat had turned its head to stare at him. Not a gryffindor name then. ”How about, sunshine then?” Sunshine did have a nice ring to it, but he still wanted it to have a deeper meaning. Some might call it dramatic, but he just wanted it to have some more flourish than some plain common name. It might have been hereditary, that you want to give the weirdest and most unique name possible.
While he was thinking about his family, he remembered the books he used to read when he was young. If anything good came out of being raised in grimmauld palace was the library and the ridiculous amount of books it stored. Not all of the books were about curses and torture. He remembers a book on old gods and goddesses of old religions his uncle gave him. It used to be his favorite book to read when he was small, he still regretted that he had to leave it behind when he left. He remembered his favorite gods and deities to read about were almost always associated with the sun. Maybe even back then he knew he wasn't going to be in slytherin. If he remembered correctly, one of the deities was a cat goddess of the sun. That would be perfect if he could just remember what they were called. It was one of the Egyptian deities if he remembered correctly. ” How about Bastet?” Sirius heard a happy meow and the cat licked his hand. ’a success then’ Sirius thought happily as Bastet started rubbing their head on Sirius’ leather jacket and purring. Sirius could see the dirt starting to rub onto his jacket and started to already think about the bath he was gonna have to give them.