Work Text:
i.
"So- uh... yeah, I don't know." Tom chuckles nervously, his eyes shooting from the reporter to the camera and back. His palms are sweaty, and his heart is racing. He has no idea what he’s doing - what even are these questions anyways?
The reporter only smiles without any sympathy. "So, there are still rumours about you and Zendaya..." Tom bites his lip. "Yeah, I've seen them." What does she want? The reporter smiles. "Care to tell us a little bit about your love life? Does Zendaya play a role?" Tom's eyes widen and he feels his cheeks heat. "N- no, Z and I- we've seen the rumours, and once again, I'd like to confirm that we're just friends." The reporter nods, obviously not happy with his answer. "And there is no future for the two of you?" "Actually- no, there's not."
The reporter raises an eyebrow. "And why is that?" "I- uh, I'm in a relationship, actually." He can actually slap himself. In the face. With a brick.
"Oh! Do you have any details you'd like to share with us?" He understands she wanted more answers, but this is only one small lie - if he tells her more, it will be spun out of control. He settles on, "We want to keep it quiet. We made agreements to not tell anyone unless we're both ready." He scratches the back of his neck. "I'm not going to talk about it unless she's here." Shit. He should not have said that. The reporter seems content with his answer and instead asks something about the newest movie he'd starred in. He almost lets out a sigh, relieved to focus on something that he does know what he is talking about.
Your phone rings in the middle of the night. You groan, rolling over to take it from the nightstand.
"Who's this?" You ask, your words slightly slurred.
"Y- Y/N? It- it's Tom." He sounds hesitant, and you know that tone well enough to know something is up. You throw a quick glance at your clock and push yourself up against the bed frame.
"Why are you calling me at two in the morning?"
"I- I'm sorry, I just- I just didn't know who else to call..." he trails off and you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.
"Talk to me. I'm here."
Tom sighs on the other end of the line. "You will not like this," he mutters, and you lift your eyebrows even though he can't see it.
"I might have told someone I'm in a relationship."
You choke on your breath. "I'm sorry- what? Did you just say you're in a relationship?"
"I wanted to stop answering stupid questions about my love life!" He defends himself. It's a lousy argument.
"And so you make up a lie."
"Yeah." You roll your eyes.
"Thomas, you're a smart kid. The reporters are gonna snatch this up and they're going to milk all the information out of you. What are you going to do?"
"Well- I actually called to ask you a favour."
The realization starts to dawn on you.
"You want me to be your fake girlfriend." It isn't a question; it is a statement. Tom hums in agreement and you sigh.
"Why don't you come back to London first. We'll talk about it later, 'kay? I want to sleep, and honestly, you should too." It's practically already an agreement and the both of you know it.
A sigh.
"I should. Good night love."
"Good night Tommy."
And with that, you end the call and get back under the covers.
"Good morning sunshine!"
Harrison slings an arm around your shoulder and presses his lips to your cheek. You smile brightly and turn around to embrace him. "Morning," you mumble against his shoulder. There's a rumble in his chest. Behind you, someone whistles, but you choose to ignore it.
"So, what's on the schedule today?" Harrison laces his fingers through yours as you stand in front of his assistant, Rosa. Rosa smiles and flips through her binder. "You've got your shoot in an hour. At two you'll have high tea with a few magazines who want to work with you and you're off at six. It's not a busy day today." She nods at you and turns around.
Harrison winks at you and you smile. "Guess I'll see you in an hour." He kisses your cheek again, leaving a warm feeling in your chest, and leaves just as quick as he came.
Modelling is a serious job. It's a job where sometimes people have to get naked even if they aren't comfortable with it - and sometimes they have to do the weirdest things to get the best pictures.
Like lying on a couch with only a white string on and your head in Harrisons lap. It's by far not the most uncomfortable situation ever, but your face is right in his crotch. Someone drapes a thin ribbon on your nipples and puts the end between your teeth. She tells you to bite on it - you feel like you're performing BDSM in front of cameras and by god it feels uncomfortable.
Luckily the pictures are quickly made, and your own assistant Soleil helps you up and in a bathrobe that covers your body.
The photographers start discussing things as people work on your make up, and you can't help but glance over at Harrison to make sure he's alright. He shoots you a reassuring smile and relief sags through your body. He's your friend. It's going to be okay.
The photographers tell you to pose again with Harrison, this time standing.
His back is pressed against a wall, and still with the top of your body bare, you need to stand slightly against him. His hand rest on your bum and his lips are on your neck - and you're lying if you say it doesn't make some sort of heat coil down in your belly.
Someone fixes your hair and then they start making photos. During the process, Harrison lifts his head again and turns it, so that the two of you stare into each other's eyes. You start to feel warm all over, and you smile lightly to help ease the tension between the two of you. It feels like it’s only the two of you in that room - like this is an intimate moment that nobody can break.
"Next!"
That word breaks you out of your trance, and you snap back into the room. Soleil helps you in a bathrobe and guides you away quickly. You throw a look over your shoulder to see where Harrison's going, only to find him rubbing his face with a contorted expression. You frown. What happened?
When you meet Harrison outside, he's all smiles again.
"I wish I could take you out for coffee, but I have an appointment," he says, and you nod. "I understand. Rain check?" "Rain check," he agrees, and he quickly gives you a hug. "I'll see you later love." He leaves after that, leaving you in a daze on the street. When your phone pings, you're thrown back into the real world.
Tom has sent you a message.
Tommy: will you pick me up from the airport?
You smile as you type back a message.
You: as long as you look presentable
Tommy: always
"Tom!" "Tom!" "Tom Holland!"
Fans are screeching outside, and you feel the need to cover your ears to ensure your hearing will remain intact. With a grimace, you make your way over to where Tom is standing, signing papers and smiling at everyone.
He notices you immediately and turns around with a smile. "Tommy." You smile at him and he pulls you into a warm embrace. "Missed you," he mumbles against your shoulder and your arms tighten around his neck. "Missed you too."
The fans are screaming louder, and you know everyone is making pictures, but you don't really care. Tom is your best friend - your brother.
"Come on, let's go home." You pull him away after he's signed a dozen more papers and taken a few pictures. He smirks. "Eager to get me to yourself, are ya now love?" You smack his shoulder. "Absolutely not. But everyone's waiting for you."
Tom stops walking and you turn around, frowning.
"Yesterday-" he starts, and you nod. "We'll talk about it. I'm taking you out for tea."
The restaurant is not empty, but not filled either. You're glad that no one's caught any wind of Tom being there, and the owners of the restaurants have promised they won't share anything on social media.
"So," you start as a comfortable silence envelops the two of you, "fake relationship."
Tom hums. "There's nothing that can be done about it," he says apologetically. "There are already headlines online." He takes out his phone and shows you one that was posted mere seconds ago.
Tom Holland has a girlfriend? the caption reads. He scrolls through and stays still on another article that shows a picture of the two of you at the airport. Rumoured girlfriend Tom Holland picks him up at the airport-- you stop reading after that and push his phone away.
"I'm your best friend," you say slowly. "But doing this- it's a really big step. Who knows what'll happen?"
Tom grimaces. "Well, for one, the media will finally let me and Z go." You nod. "And second, it'll gain you some fame too."
"But that's not why I'll do it." He blinks, confused. You smile. "Tom, you're like a brother to me. I'm willing to help you out if you're struggling. If this is what you need- well, I'll be there. Always." He smiles too. "But we need to set up rules."
An hour later, the two of you have set up some sort of contract.
"It's only for a week," Tom says as you scan the paper again. "We've been dating for a few months - since Christmas." You hum. "How did we end up together?" Tom chuckles. "We were cuddling on the couch. I'll leave the story to you. You're good at that." He winks at you and you smile back. It's not meant as an insult, you're just a good story-teller.
"So we can't tell anyone about this. Not even our parents." Tom nods. "It's just a secret between the two of us." You grimace when you think about Harrison and Zendaya. "Haz is going to be fucking pissed. I don't even want to start on Zendaya." Tom's smile disappears. "Yeah." It stays silent for a while as you finish your sandwich.
"I'm going to pay the bill," you say, and you walk away. Are you really going to do this? Are you really going to lie to your own family about your relationship with Tom? And Harrison... he won't pick it lightly that neither of you told him about it. How are you going keep it from him? He's basically your soulmate - you tell him literally everything.
After paying, you take your stuff from the table and Tom and you walk out of the restaurant, saying goodbye to the owners.
Tom's hand slips in your own as you step outside in the sun and you turn your head to look at him.
"We're really doing this?"
"We're really doing this," he says, and he squeezes your hand. You take a deep breath. "Alright. Let's go."
"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me."
Dom is wearing a grin on his face while Nicola crosses her arms over her chest.
"I'm not," Tom answers nonchalantly, and he squeezes your hand. You smile at him.
"I knew it!" Nicola then yells, and she slaps Dom softly on his shoulder. "You see? I told you, Dom, that they'd get together before summer."
You gape. "I won the bet," Nicola states proudly. They had placed a bet on your relationship?
You decide right then and there that you do not like lying to the Hollands. They are like your second family and it feels wrong in so many ways to lie to them about your relationship with Tom. You are nauseous by the time Dom brings in the meat that he and Nicola have spent all day preparing.
You eye the big chunk of meat and immediately get up to run to the bathroom.
You don't vomit, but you're sure you came damn close. This feels wrong in so many ways and you feel tears burning in your eyes.
Someone knocks on the door. "Are you alright?" It's Sam, judging from the voice. You sigh deeply. "I'm okay," you say. "Just a bit tired."
When you step out into the hallway Sam is leaning against the wall, watching you with his eyebrows raised.
"You okay?" You nod, unable to speak - too scared you're going to scream that it's all a lie. It's so hard to keep it in, but you press your lips against one another and force yourself to stay quiet. Sam smiles and wraps you in his arms. You let your breath go and a bit of the tension seeps out of your body as he pressed a kiss to your hairline.
"You're so small," he whispers, and chuckles. You pinch his side. "And you're mean."
"-thank you for coming, darlings. I wish we would see more of you." Nicola pinches your cheek with a loving smile. You smile back, as well as you can with Toms arm wrapped around your waist.
"Me too. But Tommy and I just have a busy schedule. I'll make sure to clear my schedule for a few weeks to ensure we can all enjoy some time together." You cast a fleeting look at Tom, who nodded and smiled in agreement to your statement. "Nonsense!" Nicola called out. "Your work is really important for you guys, I know that. And we see each other on holidays anyways." She hugs you and sighs. "Thomas, don't be a stranger and let us hear from you when you leave." You pull back out of her arms and thank Dom with a soft smile.
The others were in the kitchen cleaning up, chattering and laughing with the music on.
"I won't mom," Tom promises as he winks at you. You smile at him.
"Have a good night," he says then, and then you step outside into the night.
Once safely in the car, you can finally relax.
"I hate lying to them," you whisper. Tom hums. "I know love." He reaches for your hand and squeezes it as he starts the car. "Let's go home now."
ii.
"Morning beautiful." You look up from your book to see Harrisons big grin in front of you. He's carrying two cups of coffee. "Your favourite," he says, and hands you one. You take in the smell and close your eyes. "It smells like heaven," you sigh. Harrison chuckles. "I know. I made it."
You raise an eyebrow as he sits down next to you. "Alright, the cafe at the corner of the street made them. It doesn't take away the fact that it's delicious coffee." He takes a sip and closes his eyes as he leans back on the couch.
"Harrison..." you start, shifting on the couch to look him in the eye. He looks up from his cup. "Hmm?" "I need to tell you something."
You and Tom had already decided beforehand that you would be the one to tell Harrison while he was away for filming - "because you and Haz share a really good connection. You know exactly what to say to him at any time".
"What is it love? Is something wrong? Did something bad happen-" you stop the stream of words coming out of his mouth as you clasp your hand over his mouth. "Calm down Haz. It's none of that. There's just... uh... well, Tommy and I..." you trail off as he frowns, removing your hand. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he says softly, putting his hand on your leg. You nod. "I know. Tom and I agreed it's best to let you know first. We- well, he and I... we're in a relationship."
As soon as its out of your mouth, his expression darkens.
"You... and Tom?" It seems hard for him to say, and you want to ask him about his reaction when his face clears up and he reveals a charming, dazzling smile that would have fooled you if you hadn't known him since birth. You decide not to comment on it as he takes your hand.
"I'm happy for you," he says with a smile. "I hadn't seen it coming, but either way... you're good for him. Tom is an angel."
You smile as the nerves start to dissipate and shame takes a place in your body. Liar, your mind whispers. Liar!
"Okay, so anyways, I talked to Rosa about my next shoot. It's going to take place in Romania with a few of the others."
You nod. It's a bit strange that he doesn't ask for details - Harrison always asks for details - but you decide to push that thought to a corner of your mind together with the screeching voice that's telling you this is all a big fucking mistake.
"So I'm leaving this Thursday." He watches you with a light smile. You nod again. "That's nice, Harrison. I'm glad you got this opportunity." You squeeze his hand and faintly wonder why your heart clenches at the thought of being without him for so long.
"But I'll be gone for a month. And I'm taking Charlotte with me."
"Oh," you say, because you don't know what else to say. So Tom's gone for at least three months and you can't visit him because everything is supposed to be a secret and now Harrison and Charlotte are going to be away for a month. You'll live. Right?
You won't, you discover only a week later.
You're on the couch, just off the phone with your step-father, who you've informed of everything. (You couldn't lie to him for long, so you cut off the call as soon as possible)
And Tessa and Monty are with their respective families, and since you don't want to meet them because they're going to be asking questions you don't have the answer to, you're all on your own.
And it's been awhile since you've been alone.
It calls up memories you want to forget - "I don't- I don't want to do this anymore..." "Do what, love?" "Live." - as you sit in front of your large tv watching the news.
The news reporter starts talking about a new terrorist attack and you quickly turn it off.
The world moves slowly when you're all alone. You make yourself tea in the middle of the night and instead of sleeping, curl up on the couch with a good book.
In the third week, Harrison sends you a text - only a text! - saying that he's staying a month longer and Charlotte's visiting some friends in the Netherlands.
You stare at your phone before throwing it on the couch. "What am I doing?" You mutter to yourself. You have to do something with your life.
Your schedule is empty now that Soleil is on a temporary vacation and the pictures of the shoots you've done a few weeks ago are being used on the magazine covers, so you decide to step out for air - in Scotland.
Tom Holland's rumoured girlfriend spotted out in Dublin; the headlines say. You scroll through the articles, eyes flying over the lines.
Holland's girlfriend is said to be friends with both Tom and Harrison - both boys are away from England. Is the girl seeking company elsewhere? On the pictures-- you stop reading and turn your phone off.
On the other side of the street you spot a pet shop. The cafe you're in is nice and cosy, but you've long finished your Irish coffee at five in the afternoon. The waitress comes to collect your money and smiles at you as you take your coat and step out in the rain.
The door opens in a fluid motion and the shop is nice and warm.
A woman steps away from the counter and smiles at you. "Good afternoon," she greets you, and you're surprised to hear no Scottish accent. "The name's Angelica. I'm the owner of Pets and Co. How can I help you?" You look at the dogs in the pens by the windows. "I've been lonely lately," you admit softly. "I'd like someone to keep me company." Angelica nods with an understanding smile. "That's okay. What kind of animal are you looking for?"
"Well..." you say, hesitating, "I've always wanted a cat and a dog. It doesn't really matter what breed they are."
Angelica nods again and walks over to the pen to pick up a small puppy. Its fur is chocolate brown and it has beautiful blue eyes. You notice another puppy in a corner, with two different eyes, much like your own. You point at it. "Who's that?" Angelica chuckles. "That's Ollie. Or Oliver. Whichever you prefer. You can rename him, of course."
An hour later, you step out of the shop with a beautiful and sweet white kitten wrapped in a few old scarfs and small Oliver in your arms. You shield the animals from the rain with your coat and don't bother to get out your umbrella, instead opting to let your hair go wet.
"Natural is best," you tell Oliver with a light smile as you jump over a puddle. The water splashes up anyways, and your wet pants stick against your cold skin, making you shiver. "Let's get inside fast," you tell Oliver again, and you start walking faster.
Moments later, you set foot in the warm lobby of the hotel you're staying in. The lady at the reception greets you with a warm smile and you're glad you checked in beforehand if pets were allowed.
"I bought a cat and a dog," you tell her. She nods. "I'll make sure the restaurant knows and if you order room service, just say ahead that there are pets that also need food. Have a nice night." She nods at you and you smile in gratitude. "Thank you!" You call as you step in the elevator. Oliver barks softly and peeks his head out of your wet jacket. You chuckle. "Yeah Ollie. We're almost at our temporary home."
"How're you doing love?" Tom asks. Behind him, you can see bits of his trailer.
You yawn as Oliver snuggles closer to you and the kitten who you've named Dollie sticks her small tongue out as she stretches on your lap.
"I'm doing alright," you answer with a smile. "It's been wonderful in Dublin. How are you?"
He looks tired, as far as you can see. "Tired," he answers. "But filming is great. I spoke to Harrison. He's happy for us." Your smile almost disappears at the mention of Harrison, who hasn't sent you one text all week. You manage to compose yourself in time. Tom doesn't seem to notice, but it's probably the fatigue.
"You should sleep Tommy," you tell him softly. He yawns and shakes his head. "I wanna talk to you," he mumbles. You smile. "We can talk once you come back. There's plenty of stories to share. Go to bed, Tom, or I'll call your mother." He laughs at the threat. "Alright, alright. Take good care of yourself." "Yeah, yeah, I will. You too. Sleep well." "Night," he mumbles, and then your screen goes black.
You sigh. "The world's a tough place," you tell Oliver. He doesn't make a sound and when you look at him, you notice he's sleeping. Carefully, you lift him off your body. Dollie shifts on your lap and lazily opens one eye. You stroke her fur with one finger. "I'm going to watch a Disney movie and order a bit of food."
The room service arrives a bit later and you feed Dollie a bit of milk as Oliver happily eats his meat.
You've chosen The Little Mermaid - it's a classic - and when the first scene starts playing you remember Harrison, because he was the first one you watched this movie with, and he always teases you because you watch it every two months. You swallow.
Oliver whines and pushes his head to your leg. You look at him with a small smile.
Don't be sad, his eyes seem to say. You chuckle and stroke his fur. "Silly dog," you whisper, and he retreats to his food. You watch the two animals with a smile. They're like your little family. You don't need anyone else in the world.
You decide to go to Ireland next, where a friend of your family has settled with his daughter.
He lets you stay for an entire week and his daughter Joy finds enormous joy in playing with your pets.
"Don't you think it's time for you to go home?" Jason asks as he fills another glass of wine for you. You take it from him with a smile.
"Maybe. There's not really anything waiting for me."
Jason wisely mentions nothing about Tom and Harrison. Instead, he sighs.
"I thought that I could run away from my problems," he says. You curl up on the couch next to him. He turns his head to look you in the eye. "It didn't work. I got some rest, sure, but in the end, I had to come back. Since... since Erin died, I know what it's like to go away. I moved here because no one else I knew lived here." You nod along to his words.
"But these boys are your family. And I know it's hard to be with them sometimes, but..." he trails off. You put your hand on his arm. "I get it," you whisper. "I understand."
Three days later, you receive a text from Tom.
Tommy: where are you? We've searched everywhere but you're nowhere to be found and your location is off. Please text me love. We're worried
You swallow, looking at your phone. When you look up, Jason shoots you a meaningful look and continues singing for Joy.
"I think I'm going home soon," you tell the small family of two a few days later. Joy's lip quivers and you scoop her up in your arms.
"Don't cry love," you whisper in her ear. "It's going to be okay."
Joy cries when Jason brings you to the airport. Ollie and Dollie are safe in their cages, sound asleep.
You give the small girl one of your rings. "Now remember, Joy," you tell her as you crouch down on the ground in front of her, "cherish the memories you have." She watches you with big blue eyes as you kiss her forehead and get up to give Jason a long warm hug.
He holds you for a long time before he kisses your cheek.
"Text me when you land. Have a good flight." He kisses your cheek again and then you take your suitcase and disappear out of their sight.
iii.
"Your schedule is full because of your long absence," Soleil tells you over the phone when you step into the cab. "Where have you been these past weeks?" "Visiting family," you tell her. She doesn't need to know how badly you wanted to escape the country in fear of being consumed by bad memories. Soleil doesn't respond, and you know she doesn't really believe you. She doesn't mention it, however, and you're relieved.
"You've got another lingerie shoot at ten in the morning tomorrow love. You'll meet your new crew there. I'll pick you up."
Soleil hangs up and leaves you alone, staring at your phone while the driver stops in front of your house. He helps you with your suitcases and you thank him with a generous payment before he drives off again.
You leave Oliver and Dollie to get acquainted with your house and start cleaning up.
Hours later, when you've made dinner for yourself and the pets are eating beside the table, your phone pings.
You look at the screen.
Haz: you've been gone for quite a while
Haz: want to talk abt it?
Haz: you know I'm always there when you need it
You put it off again and decide you'll respond later.
"Morning love," Soleil hands you a cup of tea.
She presents the other members of your new 'crew' - two boys and one girl. They look nice enough.
"Darling, these are Joshua and Dax, and this is Emilia. They're all beginning models."
You nod with a smile. "I'm glad I'm going to be able to work with you all," you tell them, and they smile.
Soon enough, you're engulfed in light and happy chatter about the work and you forget about the time.
Your first part is with Emilia in lingerie. The girl has dark skin and short curly hair and beautiful green eyes, which the photographer seems to have noticed.
He puts you on the platform with your back to the camera. Emilia needs to stand in front of you, with her chin on your shoulder to look directly into the camera. Her hand is on your waist, low enough to touch your bum. She's not trembling and confident in what she's doing - you applaud her for it since you were a nervous mess the first time.
They move the two of you continuously throughout the shoot, and eventually you're standing in front of each other, foreheads pressed against each other.
"I want erotica," the photographer commands. "Look into each other's eye and feel sensual."
You bite your lip and look into Emilia's eyes. Her hands slide over your body - but they remain away from your private parts, which you appreciate.
The second part is with Joshua and Dax. They position you on a couch in a see-through nightgown which reveals the red lingerie you're wearing. Joshua sits down on the ground in between your leg while Dax sits on the arm of the couch in dark boxers. You put your elbows on your knees and hold your face with your hands, facing the camera.
It's easy and quickly done - as lingerie shoots always are.
Afterwards, Soleil helps you in a bathrobe. You give the boys a sweet smile - which they return - before you retreat to a more secluded room where the stylists prepare you for the next shoot.
When the third part is over and you get up from the silk sheets, the photographer tells you it's over for today and you can go home.
You look at the clock, which tells you it's approximately two in the afternoon, and decide to text Harrison.
You: can I call in the coffee appointment?
Harrison answers immediately.
Haz: definitely. Where are you right now?
You tell him the address and he goes offline. Ten minutes later he pulls up in a car and waves at you. You wave back and quickly get in.
"You look like a little angel," Harrison laughs as his eyes scan your face. You smile widely. "I always am. Come on, let's go to our favourite place."
It's always fun to spend time with Harrison. You'll never quite get used to how comfortable you feel around him - like anything in the world could happen and you know you'd be safe and sound with him. (In his arms maybe, but you push that thought out of the window as soon as it popped up)
Harrison is one of the kindest, most genuine people you've met.
He's always all smiles and when he's not, he's always honest about how he feels.
Maybe that's what makes you so uncomfortable this time.
He doesn't smile much, and you have a hunch he's lying when you ask him if he's alright and he says it's nothing.
You don't pressure him into answering, though. Nobody ever likes it when somebody does that, and you know that if he wants to talk, he'll talk. You respect his boundaries as he respects yours.
Holland's girlfriend finally confirmed; the headline says on Friday.
On Saturday, you meet up with Joshua, Emilia and Dax for tea and you find out that Emilia and Dax are a couple.
Holland's girlfriend spotted with another guy -- Holland's girlfriend cheating? the headlines read the next day. You close your phone entirely and decide not to check it for the coming weeks.
Emilia comes over on Tuesday to talk to you about her shoots and you've finally found yourself some other friends through your own connections.
It's nice to have them to yourself.
Tom calls twice, to tell you he has an interview where he wants to talk about you and him. You give him your explicit permission to do so.
iv.
"Hey guys! It's great to see you all!" You smile as you greet everyone with warm hugs and pecks on the cheek.
Tom slings an arm around you as you sit down in the booth and Sam brings you a glass of wine from the bar.
You look at the bar, where Harrison stands talking to a pretty girl, who swings her hair over her shoulder. You huff and ignore the tightening feeling in your chest as he leans forward, and she giggles.
"Hey love," Tom whispers in your ear, and you turn your head to look at him. He's smiling.
"What do you say to introducing you to the big crowd?"
Your eyes widen. "The- the big crowd?" He nods solemnly. "Yeah. The premiere's coming up and I was wondering if you'd come with me. As my date."
"O- of course!" You say with a big smile. "Of course I'll come with you, Tommy." He grins. "Great. Now that that's settled, we can focus on more important matters. Like my drinking game with Sam." "Oh no." You groan and hide your face in your hands while beside you, Tom laughs. The others do too, and before you know, you're completely absorbed in watching the boys chatter and laugh.
Tom goes home with the boys and you're left to take care of Harrison, wherever he may be.
You find him in a dark corner, snogging the girl he was flirting with earlier. You sigh dramatically. He's obviously drunk and the girl is too.
"Harrison Osterfield. You know I love you mate, but could you please leave the poor girl alone and let me take you home?"
Harrison turns around and lets the girl go, who looks at you with a sullen expression on her face.
"Unless..." you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "Unless you'd like to spend the night with this girl." Harrison hastily shakes his head and takes a hold of your hand. You try to ignore the butterflies swarming in your stomach as he laces his fingers through your own.
"Let's go then." You pull him away as another girl takes Harrisons snog partner away.
Harrison stumbles, but you manage to catch him just before he falls.
"Whoops," Harrison says, and he giggles. He can barely stand upright.
You frown.
"This is the sixth night in a row that you've gotten drunk and started snogging a girl in a corner. What is up with you, Haz? What's wrong? This is not like you."
You put him down on his bed and he kicks off his pants. He lifts his arms and you take off his shirt, revealing his abs. You swallow and quickly look away. He mumbles something inaudibly, and you turn again as he shifts under the covers.
You sit on the side of his bed.
"Why do you go around breaking girl's hearts?"
"Hmm," Harrison hums. He sighs and closes his eyes. His expression turns pained.
"If I kiss strangers, I forget it's you I wanna kiss." He mumbles something else you can't understand, but your eyes are wide, and all the blood seems to seep out of your face.
v.
"You look amazing," Tom sighs as you twirl in front of him. With the help of the stylists, your hair has been curled and pinned up on your head, fastened with floral decorations and your make-up is simple and elegant. The dress you're wearing is from Dior's cruise collection and it looks beautiful.
"This dress brings out your perfect figure," Soleil says with a smile. You nod in agreement.
Tom takes your hand and kisses it. "Can we go now?" He asks, and his assistant nods. "The car is waiting for you outside."
There are cameras everywhere and even though you've walked red carpets before, this is a new sensation. There are people everywhere, screaming the names of the actors that have worked on the film.
You spot Zendaya in the crowd of fans, signing papers everywhere she goes and taking a few pictures. Tom squeezes your hand. "I arranged with Michael that we're not doing interviews tonight. I know you want to keep this as quiet as you can." You smile at him. "Thank you." He smiles back.
Later, Zendaya takes a few pictures with Tom and leaves you standing alone, but you don't really mind, because you get the time to look at everything and everyone.
The thought of Harrison being here flashes through your mind. Holding your hand and kissing your cheek and laughing-- You blink profusely. You and Harrison haven't shared a word of conversation since he confessed his feelings in his drunken state.
Tom wraps an arm around your waist.
"You two make a lovely couple together," Zendaya says softly, and you nod. "Thank you Z," Tom says earnestly. "We're going to get something to drink. Would you like something?" The girl shakes her head with a wide smile. "You're an angel, Tom, but I'm going to check on some others. Have fun!" She skips away and leaves the two of you alone.
You sigh. "How long?" "A few more weeks darling," Tom whispers. "It's going to be okay." You look in his eyes and your heart almost breaks because you can only imagine Harrison holding your hand and kissing you in front of the cameras.
You straighten your back and look at him. "We can do this," you say and Tom smirks. "Certainly we can. Wine?" "Wine," you agree.
"Hullo," Tom mumbles. You laugh as he narrows his eyes. "My head..." he groans, and you point at the glass and pills on the bedside table. "Drink up. Nicola asked me if she could call you in half an hour. You have to look presentable."
"And where are you going?" He slides out of the bed and lifts the glass to his lips.
"Zendaya asked if I wanted to go shopping with her. I'll be back before dinner."
Tom nods. "Have fun," he says, and he disappears in the bathroom.
"Bye love!" You yell before closing the door behind you.
Zendaya is waiting for you in the lobby. She's looking perfect as ever.
With a smile, you give her a warm hug. "How can you look so perfect all the time?" She laughs. "I don't look perfect all the time," she says while looping her arm through yours, "just when I go out on the streets." You smile at her and you two step out in the sunlight. "Where to first?"
"So," Zendaya says. She stirs her tea. "I'm not stupid."
You look up from your own drink. "Listen, I know Tom and you aren't for real." Zendaya sighs. "As I said, I'm not stupid. The media and the rest of the world take it for what it is, but I know Tom. You two are definitely not in love."
You raise an eyebrow. There's no use denying it, you suppose. "You're right," you whisper. "I'm not in love with him. I mean, I love him, but not- not in that way." Zendaya smiles. "He probably thought it would kill the rumours about me and him," she says, and you nod. "Instead, there are hundreds of articles on the web about me and him. Some say you're cheating on him; others say I'm jealous of you and blah blah blah." Zendaya waves her hand in the air.
"It's all bullshit," you say firmly. "I would never cheat. Not on anyone."
The actress smiles. "I know. Harrison told me."
You fall silent at the mention of Harrison. No word from him. Not even a text.
"You alright?" Zendaya asks after a few minutes of silence. You nod. "Harrison told me he wanted to kiss me a while ago. He was drunk, so I don't think much of it, but still..." you shrug.
"You should probably talk to him about that."
"I know. It doesn't make it any easier."
Zendaya smiles. "Yeah, I know. Now come on, finish your drink. We've rested enough."
Once you're back in your hotel room, you count the bags that you've been carrying since three in the afternoon.
Fifteen bags in total. "Well, at least I know I'm not spending any more money," you sigh as you flop on your bed.
Just one more month. You'll make it through one more month.
vi.
"Hey love."
Harrison stands in front of you with tousled hair and sunglasses on. Nevertheless, he doesn't look very incognito. You sigh softly.
"Harrison."
He wraps his arms around you, and you press your face in the crook of his neck, sniffing up the familiar scent of his cologne. It smells like him- like home.
"I missed you," you mumble against his shirt. "So much." He tightens his grip on you and nuzzles your neck.
"I missed you too," he whispers, and judging from the warmth spreading through your body at his soft voice in your ear, you know that whatever he's feeling about you, it's reciprocated.
You let him go and step backwards. "How's everyone?" His face clears up as he starts talking about Charlotte's birthday. It feels good to walk next to him again and talk to him about simple things. For now, it's just the two of you, without anyone else, and it feels perfect.
"You look lovely," Harrison comments when he opens the door. You glance down at the hoodie and pants you're wearing. "Not necessarily the word I would choose," you laugh. "But it's alright I guess." Harrison lets you in. You can hear the laughter and chatter in the living room.
"You're late," Sam says when you enter, and you wink at him. "Fashionably late, Sam. You know me." "Yeah yeah," Harry grunts as Tom gets up from the couch to wrap his arms around you. Harrison sits down on the couch next to Zendaya and Jacob, who are talking about the movie they've put on.
Sam and Harry whistle when Tom kisses your cheek.
"How are you?" He whispers in your ear. You tug on his hand. "Kitchen," you whisper. He nods and follows you to the kitchen.
You sit on the counter top, swinging your legs and holding the fabric of your hoodie.
"We need to tell them the truth. And break up. I'm done lying to them."
"Tell them the truth?" Tom furrows his brow. You sigh. "Zendaya knows. I didn't tell her anything, but she figured it out on her own. If we don't break it off now others are going to find out and who knows what shit we're going to get on our heads."
Tom hums with a thoughtful look on his face.
"We don't have to tell them now. Just...- let's just enjoy the movie." "Sure." Tom smiles and leans in to hug you again. You remain like that for a while, until Harrison comes in with a sour expression on his face. It darkens when he sees the two of you.
"Z wants to talk to you Tom," he mumbles. Tom lets you go. "Alright." He nods at you and leaves the kitchen. Harrison sighs and fills a glass of water.
"Haz..." you start hesitantly. "I know you're angry. About me and Tom. That we didn't tell you before."
He purses his lips.
"We just thought it'd be best to not tell anyone about it until Tom let it slip in an interview."
"So he tells an interviewer before he tells his best friend," Harrison croaks and your heart breaks. You take his hand to pull him close. He seems a bit hesitant and stiff when you wrap your arms around him, but it doesn't take long for him to melt into your embrace.
"I'm sorry," you whisper in his ear. "You're my best friend, Haz." You pull back and swallow because you're suddenly very aware of the fact your faces are really close.
He hums. "I know."
Tom tells his own family and both your friends, while you tell Emilia and the boys and your step-father. Jason calls later that week to get all the details and you promise to come by as soon as you can.
Life goes on as usual. There's more media around you and a lot of people come to you to ask for selfies or a signature.
Soleil is delighted and arranges more shoots.
"I got you a shoot in Paraguay," she tells you a few weeks after your and Tom's official break-up.
You take the chance with two hands - fly around the world and run away from your problems? No way.
It requires a video too; with a male model you don't know that well.
He's handsome and if afterwards both your hands drift to places they shouldn't be, well, that's nobody's business.
vii.
"Joy and I are coming to London for Christmas," Jason says. You smile widely. "Jason, that's amazing!"
Ollie barks and licks your hand, and you scratch him in between his ears.
"I know," Jason says. He chuckles. You can hear Joy's soft laughter.
"You can stay at my place," you say. "I've got more than enough space."
"Hmm. That's great. Thank you-" your doorbell rings. You frown.
"It's an absolute pleasure," you tell Jason as you walk to your hall and open the door. In front of you stands Harrison. He smells like beer and his eyes are bloodshot. He's drunk. Very drunk, probably.
"Jason, I gotta go. I'll call you back." "Okay," he answers, and you hang up.
"What the hell did you do this time," you mumble as you help Harrison inside.
You help him into the shower - with his clothes on, mind you - and you let the cold water stream over him. He sobs and sinks to the floor. You crouch down to carefully wash his face.
"What's wrong darling?" You ask him, and he begins to cry in earnest.
"I can't do this anymore," he says with a broken voice, "I can't, I just can't."
"What can't you do anymore?" You ask him calmly.
"Pretend I don't love you," he croaks, and you freeze.
You get yourself together in time, though, and smile at him. "Haz, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."
After you get him in bed, you crawl up in your own with Oliver and Dollie curled by your side. They're sleeping already, but you can't sleep.
You stare into the darkness, unblinking.
'Pretend I don't love you' Harrison said. He loves you?
You can't help the smile that appears on your face and the warm feeling taking over your body. He loves you.
The next morning you're on the couch. His breakfast is on the counter top. He doesn't say a word as he eats it and disappears to the bathroom again.
You sigh softly and put your book away.
What are you going to do? Are you going to ask him about what he said?
You don't get the chance to do so. Harrison appears in front of you with only a towel wrapped around his waist. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "You- I needed you, I guess."
"I'm your best friend," you say. "I will always take care of you. And catch you when you fall."
Harrison looks pained.
"Just tell me what's wrong. You told me a few months ago that you wanted to kiss me. And yesterday...- last night you told you love me. Is that true?"
"I..." he falls silent and you get up from the couch.
"I need to tell you something first. Sit down."
He sits down and looks at you.
"The relationship Tom and I pursued was fake. He asked me to pretend to be with him. I said yes because I love him. He's like a brother to me."
Harrison blinks, dazed.
"And I'm terribly sorry for lying to you, Haz-" "I get it," he interrupts you. "You have to keep those things a secret. Ugh--" he groans and rubs his face. "I was so jealous. I didn't want to, but I- I was. I've been in love with you for months and then Tom comes and whisks you away- he's my best friend, but..." you take his hand.
"I'm an idiot," you whisper. "I didn't know. God, and every time I was with you, I felt warm and at home and I only just realized that's because I'm in love with you. Been for a while now, I think."
Harrison responds by pulling you on his lap and pressing his lips to yours.
The feeling is amazing. It feels like there is firework exploding outside and butterflies are flying around in your stomach. The touch of his lips makes you giddy and as his hands help you out of your shirt, you don't have a single regret about doing this.
His hands travel lower, and you bite back a moan as you curve against him on the couch.
"Bed," you whisper in his ear, and he lifts you up and carries you to your bedroom.
Later, when the two of you lay against each other under the silk sheets, you press a kiss in his neck. "I love you," you whisper, and you blink by how normal it feels. Harrison smiles lazily. "I love you too." He kisses you again and caresses your thigh.
His touch feels like home.