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You were drunk. Or well, your mind was a bit foggy. You weren’t sure when it wasn’t.
It was foggy when you woke up and it stayed foggy until you went to bed. And even in your dreams - or rather your nightmares - your mind stayed foggy.
Nothing helped. You tried meditating, but you couldn’t concentrate long enough. Every single time you saw Rhodey soaring through the sky and plummeting to the ground. Your own raw scream still haunted you in your sleepless nights, when you were alone in bed.
Drinking was the only thing that helped a bit.
And that was how you found yourself by the bar again, in the middle of the night, with a bottle of vodka in your hand.
You let the alcohol slide into your mouth, and you could barely even register the taste of it.
At first, Friday had tried to get you to stop and get to bed. Eventually, she had given it up.
Everyone had given up. Almost the entire team had. And now Natasha was gone too, and Vision was god-knows-where. You, Rhodey and Tony were the only ones left in the Compound.
“You should stop drinking excessively you know,” a voice spoke up from behind you. You just heaved a sigh. “Whatever keeps the nightmares away, I guess.”
Tony slid into the seat next to you and slowly took the bottle away from your hand. “I know what it’s like,” he whispered. You looked in his chocolate brown eyes, and you almost teared up from the sight of them. Almost.
“Do you think it’s ever going to be okay again?” Your voice cracked just slightly. Tony sighed.
“I’m not sure.” He answered. “I’m not sure if it’s going to be okay.”
You looked him in the eye.
“We’re all fools if we think we can just change the world with a single fight or some stupid accords. God,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, “we’re fools anyways.”
“You need to go to bed,” Tony said softly, touching your shoulder. “I don’t want to sleep.” You whispered, your eyes locked on your hands on the bar.
A moment of silence passed.
“You can sleep with me.”
You looked at Tony in surprise.
He nodded. “Come on. It’s been a while.” He extended his hand.
You took a deep breath. “Okay,” you whispered. You took his hand. He had calloused fingers from his hard work, and there were dark circles under his eyes from the sleepless nights he obviously spent in his lab.
There was only a comfortable silence between you as he guided you through the hallways.
His bedroom was just like you remembered. You were too tired - or drunk - to really take in the details, but you knew it was the same.
His bed was still soft and unused.
You stripped out of your clothing and slipped under the soft sheets. Tony smiled as he laid down beside you.
“You’re still beautiful,” he whispered. He caressed your cheek. “I’m sorry I’ve left you alone all this time.” “It’s okay.” You whispered. “I know you need time. I know it’s hard.”
There was only sadness in his eyes. “It’s not your fault you know.” You put your head on his chest and let his hands run through your hair. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. I love you.” You whispered over and over. Tony’s breath became slower. “I love you too,” he whispered before you both fell asleep. The only light in the dark was the soft blue glow of his Arc-Reactor. A light of hope.